֎֎֎֎֎

Flustered beyond belief, Namjoo nearly ran up to the seventh floor. Realizing her mistake, she rushed back down the stairs. Bursting through the stairwell door she rushed toward her apartment.

Heart racing too fast, Namjoo couldn’t gather herself as she ran inside. Feeling like she was flowing into some part of an undiscovered dimension where monsters and aliens were real. She thought Jongin was just being nice. Seeing that he was obviously sorry for the way Mina had acted Namjoo thought letting him be was the best decision.

She wasn’t sure now.

What had happened?

Covering with her hands Namjoo’s eyes widened. Vividly recalling the touch of his mouth over hers.

This was wrong. This was all wrong!

She shouldn’t have let him coax her today. If only everything that happened today hadn’t happened she wouldn’t have felt so depraved for comfort.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” She slapped her forehead. Pacing in a circle she groaned.

This was a mistake. All a mistake. Jongin was probably thinking she was someone else in that moment.

Right, Namjoo nodded to convince herself. He was a little wired in the head after running into his ex. Laughing aloud to herself she smacked her hands together. Things like that could happen from time to time. Jongin could have been stressed over his breakup. Seeing how unhappy Mina was, it only made sense the darling couple were having a hard time.

She would forgive him and play it out like nothing happened.

That’s it. It was nothing else.

Exhaling she walked away from the door. Now she would shower and just go to sleep.

֎֎֎֎֎

His phone was ringing when he stepped out of the shower. Walking over to the coffee table Jongin picked up.

“Hey,” it was Taesong.

“Why are you calling?” Jongin wondered sitting down on the couch.

“I just want to say I’m sorry,” Taesong apologized, “about everything that happened earlier. I pulled Mina aside to talk to her. I’ll use disciplinary measures if I have to.”

“Well…that’s fine.”

“How is your girl doing?” Taesong wondered. “I hope she wasn’t too affected.”

“We ate somewhere else, but she’s not my…”

Taesong cut him off intentionally, “It’s her, right? The one you kept talking about?”

Jongin remained quiet.

“What’s the big deal?” Taesong wondered. “I won’t put you on blast for choosing a woman of your liking.”

“I’m not certain about that,” Jongin replied.

“Why?” His friend asked. “Isn’t she the one you got pregnant?”

Jongin’s face heated up. “I…you…I didn…”

Taesong laughed haughtily, “It’s obvious you were talking about her, right? So, what’s she like?”

Jongin wanted to deny it all, but what was the point? Taesong had clearly read through him.

Biting his lower lip, he sank back into the couch, “Well, she’s a bit shy and she’s kind and helpful. She’s also a very good cook. Her father’s a chef, you know. And she went to school with us, did you know that?”

“I may have to check the yearbook, wherever it is,” Taesong said. “It sure seems like you see all the good qualities in her. Are you sure it’s nothing more than that?”

“We’re not in a relationship, ok?” Jongin made himself clear. “I feel bad, because she has no one.”

“Uh-huh,” Taesong flatly agreed.

“I mean it!”

“Whatever,” Taesong replied. “If I were you, I would really think about what I am doing. I wouldn’t want to end up being an idiot.”

“Forget it, you’re so aggravating.” Jongin mumbled suddenly no longer in the mood.

“Fine, I was about to head to bed anyway.” Taesong responded with the same tone. “May you dream of your lover, Jongin, whoever she may be.”

Hanging up, Jongin threw the phone aside and slid onto his back. Damn Taesong always trying to make his point right. Sighing, he stared at the corner where Namjoo had earlier stood. A smile crossed his lips as he closed his eyes.

The following morning, he woke up early to cook lunch. Then spent over twenty minutes in the bathroom grooming his hair. Paying attention to the smallest detail before dressing in a sleek outfit for the day. Rushing to pack the food he had prepared he slid out the door and into the elevator. Hoping Namjoo wouldn’t have left before him.

Jongin grew ecstatic when she was there and joined her in the back. Namjoo glanced at him but didn’t say anything. A part of him screamed for her to notice the effort he had put in that morning. To at least say he looked a bit different, but nothing. Soaking in silence he waited until they arrived in the lobby.

“Namjoo, wait,” he caught up to her. Holding up a bag of food he said, “Here.”

“What is it?” She stared at the bag.

“Lunch,” he said. “Since I inconvenienced you yesterday, I thought I should thank you with something.”

“You didn’t…”

He urged the bag toward her, “The mart wasn’t a part of our plan, but I dragged you along anyway.”

She frowned. “It’s fine…”

“Take it,” he pushed the bag toward her hand. Namjoo yanked her hand back then snatched the bag somewhat irritated.

“Ok, I took it,” she somewhat snapped. Biting her lower lip, she apologized, “Sorry. Just ignore me.”

He looked at her apologetic if he made her uncomfortable. He forged on, “What you made yesterday for lunch, do you think you can teach me how to make it?”

“Huh?” Namjoo asked surprised.

“It was very delicious but I’ve never made it before,” Jongin said. “Do you think you can make some time this weekend to show me?”

Namjoo blinked. “I can make some time in the evening, but that’s all.”

He smiled, “Yes, that’s fine. Thanks.”

֎֎֎֎֎

Namjoo wasn’t sure whether she was an idiot or not. She should’ve ignored Jongin, but he had looked like a puppy wagging its tail this morning she felt bad for even being annoyed. Lunch? Was he serious?

Gosh. She sighed sitting down in her office. Namjoo stared at the bag containing her meal. She didn’t want to touch it, but curiosity won. Lifting the bag onto her lap she peered inside. A bag of banana chips tucked beside the containers of food. Then she saw it. The zipped bag of cut up bitter melon.

Holding the bag up Namjoo stared at the evenly chopped pieces. She couldn’t help but laugh airily. Damn Jongin. Having tricked her yesterday and now giving her a bag full.

Half the day passed before Namjoo was back in her office after reheating Jongin’s food. She had received stares in the cafeteria. Uncertain to which extent the rumor about her had progressed. Content with having her meal alone, Namjoo was just halfway through her meal when her desk phone rang.

When she heard who was here, she almost vomited. Regretfully leaving Jongin’s food Namjoo rode the elevator downstairs and headed outside. Seojun was in his car waiting for her.

“You were on your lunch?” He asked. “This early?”

Namjoo glanced at the time. It wasn’t even twelve yet, but she had really wanted Jongin’s food. She couldn’t say it though.

“I was just hungry,” Namjoo murmured. She glanced at him. “I heard you’ve been drinking.”

Scoffing, he asked, “You suddenly care about me now?”

“Seojun…”

“Then you should’ve thought about me before you slept with some stranger,” Seojun declared with menacing eyes.

Quieting, Namjoo curled her fingers on her lap. “I know it’s my fault…”

“Good!” He raised his voice. “Live the rest of your life knowing that! Know that you owe me the rest of your life! Take this secret with you to your grave.”

“Do you really have to say it like that?” Namjoo asked.

“Yes! You should be grateful I’m letting you give birth to this bastard!” Seojun yelled.

“It is not!” Namjoo retorted with tears in her eyes.

Seojun’s lips trembled. Reaching for something from the slot in his side door he tossed a few pamphlets onto her lap.

“I still love you, Namjoo,” Seojun breathed deeply. “Be thankful that I’m granting your wish. Here are orphanages I’ve looked through. Choose one and we’ll put the baby there.”

Namjoo glanced at the various names on her lap feeling like she was being stabbed in the heart.

“What? You don’t like them?” Seojun asked.

Trying not to cry in front of him, Namjoo shook her head. “Your mom came to see me. She wants us to get married on time.”

Closing his eyes, he sighed frustrated. “This is all your fault.”

Namjoo bit down on her teeth.

“I’ll take care of it,” Seojun said. “I need to get back to work.”

Shuffling the pamphlets together Namjoo stepped out of the car. Jongin’s food had gone cold when she returned. Sinking into her chair Namjoo glanced down at the pamphlets.

How could she save her baby from falling into the hands of strangers? What could she do to keep this baby by her side?

With these thoughts Namjoo found herself standing in front of Jongin’s door when she returned from work. Using the bag he had given her that morning as an excuse to drop by, because what if she finally told Jongin? By some chance would he accept her and the baby?

Apprehension slammed her nerves. Uneasy, Namjoo pressed the bell. The door opened and Jongin glanced at her surprised. The scent of cooking food awakened her hunger instantly.

“I didn’t expect you. Come in,” Jongin invited. “I was preparing dinner.”

“Oh…” Namjoo muttered then held up the bag. “I just came to drop this off.”

“Thanks.” He accepted the bag from her. She watched him unpack the food containers. He looked nice today in a different way.

Since she had that fever he had been so nice to her. Perhaps it was because he had witnessed Seojun breaking up with her that he felt sorry for her. A woman all pregnant and alone. What person wouldn’t pity her? Even Namjoo felt sorry for herself. That he felt obligated to help her. Knowing they were once classmates and all he felt like it was a sense of duty.

People didn’t just settle down happily because they were having a baby. Sometimes it ended in disaster, because it was just a matter of taking responsibility. Many people didn’t get along once they started sharing a roof. Unhappiness of parents strained the lives of children. Namjoo didn’t want her baby to experience such misery.

If she forced Jongin to take responsibility for her, how would they end up? Would they like each other after getting to know each other? Would they be happy?

The uncertainty filled her with fear. What if she misstepped and ended up living with grief the rest of her life?

They just had a one-night stand after all. How could that amount to love?

They had never liked each other. It had just been one night of illusionary attraction. Nothing more. Nothing less.

“Is something on my face?” Jongin wondered touching his face.

“Actually, I…” Namjoo started. Too much weighed in the balance of their futures. So many things to think about.

She didn’t really know Jongin. Had never known him.

“I…” Namjoo tried again with weaker resolution.

“No, I don’t remember you.” He had said that night when they’d talked.

What would he ever want to do with her? Would he ever pay attention to her now?

It was unfair to tie Jongin down. He didn’t know about the baby anyway. Maybe she could go somewhere by herself, like to her parents. In the small city. Give birth and live a quiet life. No one would ever know. Her parents would protect her. They would help her because she was their only child.

“It’s nothing,” Namjoo lied. “The food was really good today. Thank you. I’ll uh…go now.”

Swallowing, Namjoo turned around to walk out.

Crushed, she sat for along time that evening with the pamphlets Seojun had given her sprawled on her coffee table.

֎֎֎֎֎

Saturday morning, Namjoo pulled on a dress. Walked over to her drawer and opened a slot. Pulling out a soft velvety cushioned ring box. Opening it to peer at the six-carat diamond ring Seojun had proposed to her with.

They had shared so much love. So many hours and days together. Planning for a future they didn’t know would never come to light. Their lives were filled with so much regret, but they had to go their own ways now.

Namjoo needed to move on. Seojun should forget her. He’d find someone who loved him a thousand times more than she ever would. A woman who would never betray or hurt him. A woman who would help him build the kind of future he wanted.

Closing the box Namjoo ran her thumb over it and tucked it into her purse.

Along the drive to Seojun’s parents Namjoo went through everything she planned to say. She would tell them why she couldn’t marry their son. She would get on her knees and apologize. Would promise she would never appear in front of them again. Namjoo would live repenting the rest of her life and she hoped they would find it in their hearts to forgive her.

Pulling up to the estate, Namjoo climbed out of her car. She had worn her most expensive piece when she first arrived with Seojun. Today she was just in moderately appropriate clothing. Walking up to the door she rang the bell. It wasn’t Seojun’s mother who had come for her, but Seojun himself.

Feeling weirded for the first time when he put his arm around her as she walked in. It had been almost a month since he had shown her any affection.

“I am so glad you made it!” His mother walked toward her. A face plastered with joy Namjoo wasn’t really sure was joy. Dolled up and in a long dress Seojun’s mother hugged her. Namjoo felt afraid for the first time.

Taking her arm, she said, “Breakfast is just about finished. Come sit.”

Walking further in through the house of sophistication Namjoo heard Seojun’s father’s haughty laugh. “Why, our daughter-in-law!”

“Yes…” Namjoo awkwardly nodded.

“Come sit, come sit,” he urged.

Arm around her again Seojun urged her toward the table pulling the chair out for her. His mother watched jovially, suddenly with much approval.

“You two make such a great pair,” she commented. “We can’t wait until you officially join the family.”

Bringing over the last of the entrée she sat down opposite Namjoo right beside her husband.

“I am so glad we are finally meeting today,” Seojun’s father gladly stated. “Eat up. Your mother woke up extra early to prepare everything.”

Namjoo picked up her utensils and watched Seojun place some food onto her plate. She glanced at him feeling like she was being stabbed in the back. His act felt so empty, void of emotions. Namjoo couldn’t feel anything.

“How is work going? I heard you were getting promoted,” Seojun’s father began.

Namjoo hadn’t even taken a bite of her food yet and already put down her spoon. “I’m not.”

Silence drifted over the brightly lit up room. Seojun’s mother perked up cheerily, “Promotions come and go. I’m sure Namjoo has other plans.” Looking at her more directly, “Don’t you?”

Opening , Namjoo tried to figure out what to say. “I don’t.”

“What?” Startled, the woman stared her down.

“Mom, lets not talk about work. We were going to talk about the wedding,” Seojun chirped.

Blinking to steel herself for the oncoming wave of their wrath Namjoo pushed the words out, “I can’t marry Seojun. I’m pregnant.”

A gasp. From who she couldn’t tell.

“What did you say?” It was his father.

The horror dotting his mother’s eyes was what she expected.

“No!” Seojun yanked her arm. “What are you doing?”

“Seojun!” His mother shakily breathed still stunned. “Is it true?”

“Mom, no!” Seojun shook his head. Frantic and panicked, he glared at her. Impulsively going the safest route, he blurted, “The baby’s mine! I’m sorry, mom. That’s why we have to delay the wedding.”   

***how will this turn around??? just wait and see ;D