He remembers everything. 

Everything.

He doesn’t understand why though but he remembers.

The fingers of gentle fingertips, violently yanking him from the reverberating sounds at the club and the sudden coldness as he exited the premise. They were so close, almost touching yet she felt far.

He remembers the fight in the car and the way her eyes flickered with a dash of sadness as she looked at him during a red light. 

The faint smell of lavender against his own smoked filled body, after he did everything in his capacity to drown the familiar taste of her strawberry lips, even if it meant indulging in things and people he wasn’t meant to be with.

“  I’m sorry,  ”  dark eyes filled with intense emotions are splashed against hers, finding out in the morning that she’d rushed off to university for one of the most important exams of the semester, “  …  I’m really, really sorry, Chaeyoung. I’ll go to the school tomorrow and see if I can convince them to have you retake it or to give you a pass—  ”

He had been waiting in the kitchen for hours, his stomach twisting every time he heard a sound that even replicated the noise of the door opening. 

He had her. 

She was there when he needed someone to corral in.

His words are made void as she walks straight past him and it doesn’t TRULY resonate in him, to the severity of his mistake until he’s suddenly immersed with disappointment. He follows her. It doesn’t take much for his legs to catch up to hers as he stands in front of the door frame like a barrier between the two except she tucks her head beneath him, as though he weren’t even there. She feels barren and as a result, is out to punish him balking any chance for redemption as she slams the door shut on his face.

“  Chaeyoung,  ”  a daring desperation as he drums against the wooden material, “  …  please,  don’t ignore me. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.  ”

“  Go away, I don’t care for promises you can’t keep.  ”

Before he could even protest, the sound of foreign music is being blasted so loudly that it deafened the entire hallway. 

He isn’t angry. Jeon Jungkook is very aware of how badly he’d messed up, after all, he’s a constantly reminder of mistake after mistake. 

But it’s only until he’d lost the one good thing in his life, that he’d come to such a realisation. 

***

“  Happy birthday.  ”

Her voice bursts him away from his sleep, eyes peeping before scrunching together at the sudden brightness illuminati