“So Jaebum hyung what did you want to talk about?” Youngjae asked trying hard not to let off how nervous and scared he was right now. Although Jaebum said he forgave Youngjae for earlier, that was that angriest that Jaebum has ever been at him. He was thinking maybe the older boy was still angry with him and wanting to talk about it again.

Jaebum noticed Youngjae’s nervousness and apprehension, “It’s not something bad, it’s…well, I’m not sure how to classify it. “ Jaebum said, actually getting nervous himself now. Jaebum’s never really asked anyone else out before and rarely talked about his feelings, he and Jinyoung shared that commonality, both of them were more of the listeners.

Youngjae's fear subsided now that he knew it wasn’t about what he was thinking, but he was now really curious and still a bit nervous. However, he was always somewhat nervous around Jaebum.

“I guess I should first say I’m sorry.” Jaebum starting not really sure how you start a conversation like this. Youngjae was now a bit confused, he wasn’t sure what Jaebum was apologizing for, “For what Hyung?”

“Well, as Jinyoung and I were out. I was thinking about earlier, Jinyoung was telling me how we needed to find you guys first before we left on our lunch date.”

Youngjae kind felt a ping of jealousy and hurt at the word date but tried not to let it show.

“It took a while but Jinyoung seemed more worried about you than anyone else. Then when we met you guys you were frantically apologizing. Jinyoung's automatic reaction was to tell you it was okay and you didn’t need to apologize because he knew you were only letting your feelings take over. Then I got to thinking and realized that you got very protective of me and you always seem to be looking at me with these sparkling eyes. So I asked Jinyoung if he knew you liked me and he told me I was an idiot for not noticing before.” Jaebum with soft apologetic eyes, that Youngjae has only ever seen him give to Jinyoung.

Youngjae's heart not only melted but it sped up at the same time, in both fear and awe. “Hyung” Youngjae called out now realizing what Jaebum meant by 'I’m sorry'. He felt his heart break a little if he was saying sorry, that only meant that he was going to tell Youngjae he doesn’t fell the same way.

“He was right I was an idiot and I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize your feelings. I was debating earlier with Jinyoung about if I should tell you I know now or pretend I don’t know. In high school, I used to like Jinyoung.”

Youngjae heart broke a lot more, he knew he couldn’t compete with Jinyoung. He felt the tears build up but tried hard to will them away.

“Well more accurately, I thought I like him but I realized that I didn't like him but I loved him”

Then Youngjae’s heart broke some more after hearing that, but he didn’t know if it hurt more to know that Jaebum didn’t like him and he liked someone else or that Jaebum loves Jinyoung and Youngjae knew that Jinyoung only loved his best friend as a friend. Even if Jaebum didn’t like him he didn’t want the older boy to be hurt.

“But I realized I only loved him as a friend, Jinyoung is the only person other than my parents that I could depend on, and I’ve never had a friend like him in my life. I didn’t realize the love I had for him was because of our friendship. I’ve only known about love being used in the romantic sense or familial sense. So that is why I want to ask you something.” Jaebum said looking at Youngjae, he saw the tears in his eyes and wanted badly to hug the younger, but he needed to be sure about something first.

“Do you like me for me or do you admire me and you are mistaking that for liking me?” Jaebum asked looking nervous.

Youngjae felt the tears drop, “Hyung, it okay if you don’t like me but please don’t try to dismiss my feelings, that hurts.”

"No, no that’s not what I meant Youngjae. It’s just I thought I liked Jinyoung because I didn’t understand my feelings for him. I just wanted to make sure you really like me because if I ask you out. I’m going to give you 100% and it would hurt if you figure out later you really didn’t like me.” Jaebum said sincerely.

Youngjae was about to tell Jaebum, of course, he liked Jaebum but then he realized what Jaebum said and his tears stop, and he looked up shocked at his crush for 2 years now.

Jinyoung hadn’t meant to get so irritated with Mark and vent to him, but Mark is the only one who he could vent to because like Jinyoung told him, Jaebum and Mark were the only people who treated him as just Jinyoung. However, Mark was the only who knew he was the Park Jinyoung.

Mark looked at Jinyoung he was always slightly envious of Jinyoung because of how everyone viewed him as perfect. Mark always felt that he could never be as great as Jinyoung. He was always so focused on how everyone compared him and Jinyoung, and how it affected him. He never thought about how everyone’s opinion of Jinyoung affected the younger boy.

“I’m sorry, I never thought about that.” Jinyoung sighed he didn’t want pity and now the one person he thought would never pity him, was giving him some pity apology and standard sympathy. The very thing he thought he wouldn't have to worry about when it came to Mark.

“I don’t need an apology or pity, so don’t look at me that way hyung. You were the one person I thought I could count on not to do that, you’ve never given me that look. I guess that was the best thing about our previous relationship.”

Mark felt worse that Jinyoung thought he was going to be an to him when after hearing him vent.

“No, that’s not what I’m doing and that not why I’m apologizing,” Mark said he didn’t want to tell the younger this but he was feeling as like an even bigger than when Jinyoung was freezing and refused to tell him.

Jinyoung looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “That’s not why I’m saying sorry. I mean me saying sorry to that wouldn’t do you any good. I never thought about your feelings about being the heir to your dad’s company or my dad’s company and that’s why I’m sorry.”

Jinyoung gave him a small smile, knowing now it wasn't a pity apology but a genuine one. “It’s okay, I’m sorry I took my frustration out on you. It not like you could’ve known how I felt, you don’t have to apologize for not thinking about my feelings. Before this, we weren’t exactly friends so it wasn’t like it was your duty to do so.”

“No, that is exactly why I’m so sorry. I lied when I said I didn’t remember why I was an to you. I did actually have a reason but it wasn’t a good reason. It was actually an unfair reason and I was too embarrassed to admit it to you.” Mark said sheepishly to Jinyoung.

Jinyoung looked confused, “I mean if you had a reason then that means I must’ve done something. Even if it was a small reason it must’ve been big to you when we were younger, that doesn’t diminish your feelings. So I’ll apologize if I hurt you or wronged you.” Jinyoung apologized he may not have known or remember what he did but it had to have hurt Mark for him to act that way. So even if he didn't intentionally hurt Mark he would still apologize because he hurt him unknowingly.

“No, don’t apologize trust me. I’m not worth it and you didn’t do anything wrong,” Mark said feeling even more guilty now that Jinyoung was apologizing.

“Well, even if it wasn’t intentional. I hurt you so I should apologize-“

“No, that’s it. You didn’t do anything and that is part of the reason why I was an idiot, and why I’m apologizing and you don’t need to apologize. It wasn’t you who hurt me and that’s not true I was your friend. I did genuinely enjoy your friendship and it was because of our parents that we hung out as kids. However, you were one of my favorite people to hang out with when we were kids, it was just after your mom died and our dads merged the corporations. Your dad stepped back and my dad started to show both us the working of the company.”

“I never wanted to take over the company but my dad wanted me to learn the business in case I changed my mind later. I wasn’t going to change my mind and I guess he knew that, and then we both overheard the employees from my dad’s company talking about him wanting you to take over and at first it did make me feel some type of way. I thought it meant he didn’t trust me to do it. Then we were always being compared to each other by the employees and you never let it get to you or brought it up. I was so frustrated because I couldn’t ask my dad or say anything to the employees because I was the one who told my dad I didn’t want to take over and the employees were just speaking about a rumor, which is somehow happened to be true.”

“You were a scapegoat, you were younger than me and everything came so easy for you. You were perfect, everything you did was perfect and I was always compared. I just took my hurt and anger out on you because it was easy. Then we got to school and we both somehow were doing the opposite things and different classes initially, but you skipped a grade and then we suddenly got compared to each by everyone in school too.”

“No, matter where I was I always seemed to be compared to you and you didn’t do anything. Everyone else did but I couldn’t blame everyone for me being insecure and the constant denominator for my insecurities was you, but in reality, it was me. I let everyone else words hurt me and affect my behavior, and honestly, I lost a really good friend because of it. I only realized when you came over to my dorm that was the longest I’ve let myself be around you. As I looked at you when you told Youngjae about the eggplant I remembered that you used to know better than anyone else and you probably still are the only person who knows the most about me. That is why I’m sorry because I was an to you for something you and I both had no control over. I lost a good friend because of it, but I also took away your friend too, at a time when you really needed one. No amount of apologies can make up for that either, I was selfish and insecure, and you were the one who got hurt because of it.”

“Did-did you just say you want to ask me out?” Youngjae asks not believing his ears.

Jaebum walked up and wiped his tears, “Don’t cry and yes, I did. I can’t say I have the same feelings as you but I’m not against trying to see if this works out. I can’t promise that I will have the same feelings as you but I want to see if there is anything here. I think you are adorable and I like you as a person so I don’t have any reason to outright reject you. So if you are willing to take a chance with me, I would like to ask you out on a date.” Jaebum said he tried to say confidently but his nerves were still there and this was the first time he has asked someone out.

Youngjae froze, this was a lot to process and Jaebum patiently waited for 5 mins and then 10 more mins, and it has now been 20 mins and Youngjae was still froze and Jaebum stood there awkwardly with no response.

Jaebum felt embarrasses and got red in embarrassment in the face, he figures this meant a no because Youngjae said nothing. “Okay, this wasn’t a good Idea. I shouldn’t have listened to Jinyoung. I’m sorry, you can just forget this and I’ll just go.” Jaebum said flustered trying to leave with some of his dignity intact.

Youngjae took a while to process Jaebum spoke and the freaked out, “NO, wait!” Youngjae said rushing in front of the door and blocking it. “I’m sorry, I just never expected this to happen. I never thought you could have feelings for me. I mean I’m nothing special and you are definitely more handsome than I am. I just always thought you’d tell me you don’t like me, I didn’t think you’d ask me out on a date. I’m sorry that I took so long to process it, but yes! Hell yes! I will like to go on that date with you and I’m okay with this, even if you don’t end up liking me back. A chance is good enough, I could deal with you not liking me if I know at least I tried and it didn’t work.” Youngjae said quickly, smiling brightly and Jaebum couldn't help but smile too. The sunshine that radiated from his smile was contagious and Jaebum could actually feel the warmth.

“Okay, ok then. Are you busy later today?” Jaebum asked.

“Today?” Youngjae asked freaking out, he had nothing to wear.

“I mean is it too soon to ask you out?” Jaebum said embarrassed he was really sure if there were rules to this.

“No, no I’m free later. Today is fine, today is perfect!” Youngjae said smiling at Jaebum.

Jaebum sighed in relief, “Okay, great I’ll pick you at 7:00 p.m.”

“7 is good, okay hyung!” Youngjae looking at the older dreamily.

Jaebum looked at the younger waiting but he kept staring, “Umm Youngjae?”

“Yeah hyung?” Youngjae said still staring at Jaebum dreamily.

“You're still blocking the door,” Jaebum said

Youngjae turned red and apologized furiously as he moved out the way, Jaebum thought his fluster look was cute and smiled softly.

Jaebum went to the open but remember something, ‘Oh Youngjae.”

Youngjae snapped up still flustered, “yeah hyung?”

“I’m not that good looking and you shouldn't be so self-deprecating, especially when it is completely false. You are cute, very cute.” Jaebum looked as his the younger’s face as it turned an even brighter shade of red, “Extremely cute,” Jaebum said before leaving.

Youngjae didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye, not that it would have made a difference because he was busy trying to figure if his heart just stopped or if it was just beating so fast it felt like it stopped. Either way, he wouldn’t have found any words to say, to begin with, because he is sure that his brain was malfunctioning.

He has a date with Im Jaebum and he had nothing to wear that was suitable for a date with him.

Mark looked at the younger boy who seemed to be processing his words, Jinyoung looked at with a look of disbelief. “You stopped being my friend because of other people opinions?” Jinyoung said not really sure how he felt. “Basically, yes,” Mark said because if you broke it down that was essentially what he did.

“I—“ Jinyoung tried to say something but he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to say, he felt relieved he didn’t do anything wrong. However, he felt wronged because he was punished for something he couldn’t control. He also felt happy that Mark thought of a good friend and it wasn’t just him. Then he also felt betrayed because they were friends and Mark ruined it because of other people. Jinyoung wasn’t even sure if he was mad or hurt at this point, Mark really didn’t know what he did to Jinyoung.

“You assh”*le!” Jinyoung yelled at the other and Mark flinched that was accurate. “You couldn’t have talked to me! You were the only real friend I had at the time Hyung! I needed you, do you understand what it meant to lose you?” Jinyoung asked hurt, it was definitely hurt, that’s the main thing he felt.

Mark didn’t speak because he has no excuse and no apology could really make up for what he did. “I needed a friend more than I could ever need anyone’s praises.” Mark saw the hurt on Jinyoung’s face and there was only one other time that he had seen it before and that was when he attended Jinyoung’s mom’s funeral.

“I spent years trying to figure what I did wrong but you just needed someone to blame for something that is just what you have to deal with in life. People will always get compared, you could’ve come to me if you couldn’t deal with it that’s what friends do. I would’ve told you that it was ridiculous to listen to them because you are amazing and you don’t need to impress anyone because I like you for you. Hyung just you is enough for me, you don’t need to be anyone else or do anything differently.”

“Jinyoung” Mark called he felt his heart ached at the way Jinyoung voice was laced with hurt but yet he was talking about Mark in present tense meaning he still thought those things about Mark even though he knows the truth.

“Hyung, both of your parents love you that’s why they didn’t push you to take over the business. They wanted you to do something you loved. Your dad told me before when he asked me to take over his business, which he had always hoped he could hand his company to one of his kids. However, none of you guys wanted to take over and he wouldn’t force you to give up your dreams for his, he didn’t want to hand his hard work over to a stranger. However, he thanked me for still allowing him to fulfill his dream because he knew I would treat his company with same vigor and respect as he would. He told me he was fine with having to give up his dream for any of his kids because their happiness was more important than his dream. He loves you, both of parents do. I don’t think there is a conversation I’ve ever had where they didn’t bring you up.”

Mark felt his eye water not only did he feel bad for hurting Jinyoung, but he thought all this time his parents were disappointed with his choice and wished he was more like Jinyoung but it was all his own insecurities. “Jinyoung I-“

“I’m not perfect, I work hard because I have high standards for myself. I work hard because you have one thing I could never achieve no matter what I do. You have your parents pride and you get to see it every day, no matter how hard I try or what I do, I could never see my mom’s look of pride when

I achieve anything. The most I could ever get is everyone else telling how proud she would be of me. Everyone treats me with kid gloves or looks at me waiting for me to fail. You were the only one who treated me as Jinyoung after my mom died and didn’t praise me for doing what I needed to do. I needed you as my friend back then I all needed was a real friend that’s why Jaebum is so important to me. That’s why I can’t tell him I’m about my background or my mom because you changed when I thought you wouldn't. I don’t want to take that chance that I’m wrong again. I want to tell him but I’m so scared that I’ll lose him too.” Jinyoung said so vulnerably.

“Jinyoung, I am so sorry-“Mark tried to apologize because he didn’t know anyway he could say how sorry he was. However, he was interrupted by Jinyoung’s phone ringing.

Jinyoung looked at his phone he was going to ignore the call because he wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone right not even Mark. The screen lit up with Jaebum’s name and he couldn’t ignore the call. Jinyoung tried to compose himself before answering he didn’t want Jaebum to know that anything was up. This the one thing he couldn’t talk to Jaebum about, Jinyoung composed himself and answered his phone.

“Jaebum.” He sounded normal but it did have a slight strain from trying to sound normal, it wasn’t easily noticeable.

“Jinyoung-ah, I asked Youngjae out and I got overconfident and asked him out for tonight. What am I going to do I’ve never been a real date with anyone.” Jaebum said frazzled and Jinyoung could tell the older boy was freaking out.

“First, you need to calm down because having a panic attack before a date is definitely not something you do. Especially, when you’re as clumsy as yourself, going into a frenzy will only make you more susceptible to accidents and it would be embarrassing to have to cancel your date because of that.” Jinyoung losing the slight strain and edge in his voice as he talked.

Unfortunate for Jinyoung, Jaebum was his best friend so he should’ve known better than to think that Jaebum wouldn’t know that something is up with him.

“Are you okay?” Jaebum asked the panic in his voice gone replaced with concern.

Jinyoung had to stop himself from sighing out in annoyance with himself, “Yeah Mark and I just…well, let’s just say that saying you are going to be friends doesn’t really work out as easily in actual practice.

“Ahhhh, should I come over?” Jaebum asked and smiled at that, his best friend was really sweet even if he likes to pretend he is chic.

“No, it’s okay. We have to work it out if we are going to be friends but thanks for the offer. Anyway, back to the more important matters, your date.”

Jaebum seemed to accept his answer and didn’t probe anymore into the issue but that also meant he went back in his frenzy.

“Oh god! What am I going to do? Where am I going to take him? I can’t just take him to dinner. He liked me for two years, it will be disappointing to just take him to dinner.” Jaebum ranted freaking out more as he spoke, his speech speeding up.

Jinyoung smiled, at first glance, you’d think that Jaebum and Youngjae would be vastly different and have no commonality. However, they actually had similarities in their personalities and they both were worrywarts but they showed them differently.

“Again, you need to calm down. Plus, I’m sure Youngjae will be just fine with having dinner with you. The most important thing is that you guys are able to have a conversation and find out if you are compatible. Having good conversation makes a date enjoyable, so dinner is good it will kill the awkwardness and the nerves. Though if you are still gung-ho about not just doing dinner, I think I saw a dog café somewhere near the Gates of when you leave campus. Youngjae loves dogs and I know you are a cat person but I’m sure he’ll be more comfortable in that setting and you guys will be able to connect better.” Jinyoung said thoughtfully thinking out the best option for the two of them.

Jinyoung knew those two well and Jaebum knew that, so he felt calm and relieved hearing the suggestion.

“Okay, dog café. I can do that, what should I wear?” Jinyoung shook his head, Jaebum usually gives zero s about anyone's opinions about his fashion and most things that he does in general. Jinyoung found it endearing how worked up he was getting trying to impress Youngjae. Especially, when that is probably the last person in the world he needed to try to impress. Youngjae looked at Jaebum with snapchat filters over his eyes. Youngjae even thinks Jaebum looked good in those horrendous bucket hats that Jinyoung hates.

“Seriously hyung, you are just going to dinner and a dog café. It isn’t serious, just wear something casual with a low neckline. Definitely, something a low neckline, I can’t even begin to count the number of hours I had to sit through hearing Youngjae talk about your collarbone. Honestly, if I was blind I could probably still pick your collarbone from a lineup. Youngjae literally will short-circuit if you do, so if anything goes sideways you can always count on the fact that he’ll be drooling over that.” Jinyoung said.

“Really my collarbone?” Jinyoung could hear the pride and smugness in Jaebum voice and couldn’t help but roll his eyes, Jaebum was such a high school boy sometimes.

Jinyoung hung up and let Jaebum get back to worrying about his date but he did seem much calmer after the call, so Jinyoung fulfilled his best friend duties.

Jinyoung turned back to Mark who still seemed to be waiting to finish the talk they were having before they were interrupted by a frantic Jaebum. In all honesty, Jinyoung really didn’t care to hear Mark apologize to him again. It only annoyed him further because the apology only made the situation worse because of the fact it so many years late.

“Jinyoung”

“If you are going to apologize to me again then just stop now. The worst thing you could probably do is apologize, it is too many years late and meaningless now. It will just make me more irritated with you.” Jinyoung said he tried not to let his emotions flow through because it won’t make things better and it will not help the situation of them moving forward.

Mark stopped because another apology was exactly was what was going to leave his mouth. “Then what can I do to fix this, us, or friendship?” Mark asked desperately. Mark's voice did break down Jinyoung's anger a little because he did seem remorseful.

Jinyoung sighed, “I don’t know Mark hyung. I don’t know if I can trust you again.” Jinyoung said honestly.

Mark felt a pang in his chest, that hurt him a lot more than his guilt and Jinyoung’s anger did. He deserved that and it would make sense for Jinyoung not to trust but logic didn’t really help the ease the sadness Mark felt hearing that Jinyoung didn’t trust him.

“Well, I can try to show you I’m no longer the immature emotionally constipated assh*le I was before. I was wrong and I can’t take back what I did, but I will try my hardest to prove to you I am truly sorry. I’ll be there from now on Jinyoung, I can’t be Jaebum for you, but I can be a better hyung than before. It will be hard for you to trust me. I know, but I promise that I will be here for you if you ever need to talk. I never took into account of your feelings and how hard you have it. However, seeing as I’m the only one you can even bring these things up too, anytime you need to rant or let out anything about this you can come to me. You are usually the listener and you can’t vent to Jaebum, but you can vent to me. I probably can’t give the same reassurance as Jaebum can but I can listen to you.” Mark said, and Jinyoung could tell the older was sincere with words.

Jinyoung looked conflicted and Mark noticed, Jinyoung was obviously skeptical, “You don’t have to forgive but I just want you to know that I will be here though.”