“Jinyoung”

“I thought something went wrong with Youngjae’s and Jaebum’s date, you know?”

“I know, I would say sorry but I would do it again because I know the only way you were going to answer anyone was if it was Youngjae or Jaebum,” Mark said and to his credit, he did have the decency to look ashamed.

Jinyoung sighed, “Okay, fine. Come in.”

Jinyoung moved from his doorway walking into his dorm, Mark was relieved, he thought Jinyoung would’ve turned him away. Jinyoung was very stubborn and strong-headed when he said something he followed through with it. Mark figured that he was going to a have to do a lot more begging and pleading to get Jinyoung to talk to him, but the younger might just be exhausted after their first encounter.

“Listen, I don’t have the energy to fight or get worked up again Mark. You were right, I did nothing wrong and I’ve spent years enabling your behavior because I thought it was somehow warranted. I can’t do that anymore, I was being naïve so if you feel bad or your guilt is making you feel like you need to try to be my friend, then I’m telling you now it is fine. It’s not only your fault thing ended up like this, I enabled your behavior if it had been anyone else who treated me the way you did I would have put them in their place a long time ago.”

“Jinyoung, wait! Listen to me! I do feel sorry and I want to make it up to you b--,”

“Mark, I’m serious, don’t! You don’t have to feel obligated by our friends or our parents, and especially not your guilt. I let you carry on behaving like that, you regret it and I forgive you. However, I should‘ve stopped you and confronted you if it was anyone else I would have, even if it was Jaebum hyung I would have. I was just stuck in the mind frame of your friend and I thought if I just ignored it and you, then you’d come to me and tell me what was wrong and we’d be friends again. I was scared if I let go then our friendship and any relationship would end. In hindsight, that was very naïve of me, because you gave up on us being friends or having any kind of friendly relationship from then on. So don’t feel guilty or feel like you have to be my friend because I was deluded enough to think that I’ve been saving a friendship that ended a long time ago.” Jinyoung surprised himself because the urge to cry was strong but he found it back, though the more surprising part was that he got through that without his voice breaking.

Mark looked at Jinyoung and for the first time, in all the years he knew Jinyoung this was the only time Jinyoung looked so exhausted, and for lack of a better word, done. Jinyoung never gave up on things or people he cared about, and he knows that about the younger, Mark felt scared.

“No!” Mark yelled out, it was loud and very much out of character for Mark. It threw Jinyoung off guard and he looked at Mark with wide eyes.

“Mark”

“NO! I don’t care about our friends or our parents that has nothing to do with this, not right now. I am stupid. You obviously figured that out before me, but it took me forever to realize that. Cutting off our friendship was dumb and because I let other people’s opinions, who mean absolutely nothing to me, that was even more stupid. However, I am not going to continue being an idiot, I went back to my dorm and just thought to myself. You have every right to hate me and not want to be my friend because I’m an idiot and a terrible friend. Though I realized now that I just need someone to blame and it was easy to blame you. I never wanted to end our friendship, I know that must sound insane coming from me, seeing as I’m the one that did this to us. I may have thought at the time it was easy to blame you and be mad at you, but I never once did want to let go of you as my friend.

Jinyoung was just exhausted and he was just so confused, he couldn’t really follow what Mark was trying to say. Mark really didn’t even seem to know what he was trying to say, he was talking in circles. Mark was never really much a talker, English was his first language then he learned Korean which was a big change. Mark's Korean was still not up to the standard it should be at his academic standing.

Mark relaxed, he knew he wasn’t the best speaker, which is why he is so drawn to writing. It was much easier for him to write what he felt; rather than to express it verbally. Jinyoung was forcing himself not to care, not encourage Mark to take his time because that meant he was going to cave and revert back into this weird not friendship, awkward relationship with Mark again.

“I’m not good with words and I’m not making sense, but want I’m trying to say is that I really liked having you as a friend. I never truly wanted to lose you as a friend. I thought that was what I wanted but it wasn’t. I was thinking about what you said earlier, and I knew that a treated you like crap and unfairly. Now, I know that but before I was so concerned with myself and my own feelings that yours didn’t matter to me. As I look back now I can see how hard you tried to keep up at least some kind of relationship. I was a self-centered Jerk and you are a much better person than me, and I‘m not going to lie. I can’t say that, that wasn’t my intentions at the time because it was. I wanted to be spiteful, to make you feel as bad as I felt because everyone sees you as perfect, I saw you as perfection. However, I also wanted you to take care of me like you always did, it is only now that I realized how selfish I was.”

Jinyoung looked at Mark, he had known that Mark was a jerk to him but it hurt a little to know that he intentionally tried to hurt him. Jinyoung took a deep breath, normally he’d be upset and feel like he was wronged but he can tell that Mark wasn’t trying to be mean-spirited.

“When my parents are really overprotective and they always ask you, even up to high school, to take care of me while they were gone. You always accepted them and I expected you to tell them no or at least them me to do whatever I want. However, you cooked for me and accommodated me, I reasoned that I was doing this to appease my parent but I was never miserable as I claimed to be. I could’ve left and gone home, you even told me multiple times that I didn’t have to stay over. Those were the only times that I get to have you close to me again, I realized I was jealous of the way my parents saw you because I felt like you were doing things and had everything figured out and I didn’t. But I was also scared to lose you as a friend, I thought if I pushed you away first it would be better than waiting for you to do it to me because that was bound to happen. We may be in the same social class and our situations look similar, but we are vastly different.”

Jinyoung was a bit baffled and blindsided by Mark’s confession. He could understand how Mark could feel insecure, Jinyoung knows how highly people talk about him and it gets frustrated with him. He can imagine how annoying it must’ve been for Mark to hear those comments constantly, but what he couldn’t understand was how Mark could ever think that Jinyoung would ever drop him or abandon him. Jinyoung looked up to Mark and seeing Mark used to be what he looked forward to the most during his days when he was younger. It was only when they had this falling out did Jinyoung start to get anxious when he would see Mark.

“You’re one of the most realistic and most responsible people I know but at the same time, you have very naïve ideals. That people are equally worthy of the same treatment and can be friends, no matter their socio-economic standings, status, goals, and aspiration. Not that it wrong that you think that it is one of your many endearing qualities, but it isn’t true. People who aren’t like-minded and not going in the same direction tend to drift or fall out, that is life and I may have been childish and I still am but I know that much. You and I may have grown up together and had the same upbringing but it has always been obvious to everyone but you that we are different people. You are the success, the ideal child and everyone has always seen it that way. I am the disappointment who didn’t live up to everyone expectations and is just a spoiled brat.”

Jinyoung was trying not to care and let Mark say what he wanted to say, he just wanted to let go already. However, hearing Mark talk about himself like that was actually getting him mad. Jinyoung has dealt with a lot of crap from Mark but the one thing he never would expect the older to put himself down. There weren’t many things that really got Jinyoung pissed off, Jinyoung was usually level-headed despite the short temper he had. Jinyoung wasn’t someone who stood by when he felt something wrong was happening but he was also not the person to lose his cool that was more Jaebum’s thing.

“Stop it, Mark,” Jinyoung said with a strained but stern voice, Mark saw the immediate harden in Jinyoung’s face and he didn’t understand why. “Don’t say that about yourself.”

“Jinyoung, it is what everyone says about me and it isn’t exactly in inaccurate,” Mark said not really understanding why Jinyoung was so upset.

“So because a couple a people say something it makes it true?” Jinyoung said his voice sounding more strained as his jaw clenched tighter.

“I don’t get why you're upset, it's not like it is about you and it, not just a couple people Jinyoung it is everyone. I’ve come to terms with it-”

“So if everyone wanted off the bridge into the Han river you would?” Jinyoung his voice no longer strained but directed to Mark as a venomous snarl.

Mark's eyes widen, Jinyoung was no longer just upset but outright pissed and he wasn’t controlling it. Jinyoung took steps to towards to Mark and the older has never felt so intimidated in his life that he unconsciously took steps back. It was instinctive on Mark’s pat anyone could feel the rage emanating from Jinyoung at the moment. No sane person would stay still with that area walking towards them, but that must have pissed Jinyoung off more because he grabbed Mark’s shoulder forcefully and he slammed him into the door.

Mark flinched at the sharp pain that went up to his back and let out a groan, Jinyoung knocked the air out him if the pain didn’t already indicate how hard he slammed the elder into the door. Jinyoung’s phone pinged but neither of the two boys paid it any mind, Mark wasn’t even sure Jinyoung even heard in his raging form.

Mark was stunned Jinyoung isn’t a violent person nor is he angry person but at this moment Jinyoung was scaring Mark with how pissed he was. He couldn’t even speak he was so confused at what pissed the younger boy off and he was shocked at how aggressive Jinyoung was. Jinyoung still had a painful grip on his shoulder but Mark didn’t want to trigger him more and just dealt with the pain.

“I don’t give a if a million people say that about you, you don’t just ‘come to terms with it’. They don’t know you, they don’t care to know about you, and if they don’t like you that is their ing problem. Don’t you ever tell me everyone thinks that about you because your parents don’t, your family doesn’t, your friends don’t and I don’t? You don't EVER put yourself down like that ever again, especially not in front of me.” Jinyoung growled out his grip tightening with every sentence.

Mark winced in pain and tried to hold in his whimper which Jinyoung took as silence and Mark not listening to him. So he squeezed tighter on the older boy’s shoulder not realizing the angrier he got the more force he would put into his grip.

“Do you understand me?” Jinyoung said squeezing down with enough force that Mark taught he was trying to break his shoulder. Mark yelp out and whimpered out, “You’re hurting me.”

Jinyoung faltered for a second and his hand flew away from Mark’s shoulder as if it was on fire. However, he didn’t step away from Mark he actually got closer and trapped the elder in between the door and put his hands at both of side of his face. “Do understand me?” Jinyoung repeated this time much calmer and softer than the first time.

Mark on the other hand still had the same reaction, pure silence, but his time because he was staring into Jinyoung eyes trying to figure out the emotion behind them. He could see sadness, anger, hurt and something else he could figure out.

“Mark,” Jinyoung called out but he still didn’t get any response Jinyoung leaned his head onto Mark's shoulder and the elder flinched, not at the touch but the shoulder Jinyoung was gripping earlier must have been bruised because it hurting hold the weight of Jinyoung head.

“That hurts.” Mark hissed out in pain, Jinyoung raised his head as he sighed, “Do you understand me?”

Mark didn’t know why he couldn’t reply back but it might have something to do with the soft look Jinyoung was giving him that was making hard to concentrate on forming words.

“Mark” Jinyoung called out again but this time the younger placed his forehead on to Mark’s, Mark’s breath got stuck in his throat. Jinyoung was really close to his and the perfection everyone else talked about whenever Jinyoung’s name came up was solidified, even more so than it already was, into Mark’s brain. The elder could see the younger’s expressive eyes, his thick but naturally shaped eyebrows, sharp jaw-line, flawless skin, and lastly his full lips.

Mark had really meant to reply to Jinyoung this time around now that the younger wasn’t trying to break his shoulder, which at this point must’ve been badly bruised, but he got distracted by Jinyoung’s face. Yes, he is used to seeing Jinyoung’s face but not up close like this. At least, not since the younger had hit puberty and really grew out of his baby fat and into his current masculine features. Mark wasn’t blind Jinyoung has always been handsome but he had been more cute and pretty when he was younger. While he grew out of his baby fat and his cute feature turned into a masculine one, the younger was still as pretty as he was handsome. Normally, pretty is a word that Mark would reserve for a female but Jinyoung was really pretty. However, looking at the younger now he was still pretty but beautiful was the only word that Mark could form.

Sadly, at least for Mark’s sake, that happened the only word that he seemed to be able to say. It came out as a whisper and Jinyoung was sure he was hearing this because why would Mark be calling him beautiful. He was sure his stupid heart was affecting his brain function but he felt the air that left Mark’s mouth as the word left. Jinyoung was thrown off by the completely unexpected comment but Mark finally registered that he actually said that out loud as he saw Jinyoung’s face slightly shift into shock.

“.” Mark cursed under his breath with also didn’t go unnoticed by Jinyoung either, which brought Jinyoung’s attention back to Mark.

“Yes, I understand,” Mark said embarrassed and shyly because not only did he make a fool of himself he was supposed to be the elder on and yet he was trapped under the younger. Jinyoung was surprisingly very strong and due to how the younger usually carries himself it was not surprising to Mark why he assumed the younger was much weaker. However, he should have known the younger wasn’t the little boy who needed his protection anymore being this close he realized the Jinyoung was taller than him now. Though he really should have expected how strong the younger got after seeing all that muscle he was hiding under his clothes. Which reminded him of Jinyoung current state and his lack of clothes.

Apparently, after slamming Mark’s back into his door, Jinyoung’s towel decide to slide down a lower. Honestly, with how low the towel hung on Jinyoung’s hips, Mark was surprised it was still secured around the younger. It may not have fallen but it falls far enough to expose Jinyoung very prominent V muscle and his very faint happy trail. Mark felt his face heat up not only because Jinyoung was very, very fit but he was very aware of how the younger was under that towel.

Jinyoung, on the other hand, did not seem to register how he was, which also reminded Mark that he was like this in front of Sehun like and all of sudden Mark felt extremely irritated and even more so now that he remembered Sehun’s outward flirtations.

Mark must’ve been obvious with his lack of focus on Jinyoung, well technically he was very focused on Jinyoung but not quite in the way Jinyoung wanted him to be.

Jinyoung groaned get very frustrated again with the elder, he had been calling Mark’s name. You would think with how close they were the older boy would be able to hear him, seeing as Jinyoung’s forehead never left Mark’s, not even after the shock of Mark’s unexpected compliment.

Mark wasn’t aware of Jinyoung growing frustration because after he realized he was hurting the older boy his anger seemed to dissipate. Mark for some reason unbeknownst to himself, was stuck on the fact that Sehun was flirting with Jinyoung earlier and saw him in this state and it irritated to out of him. He was okay when it was Youngjae sure it was uncomfortable for him especially since Youngjae had no shame but he wasn’t irritated and he was irritated at himself for being irritated for now reason.

Mark began to shuffle unknowingly due to his lack of comprehension of his newfound irritation but Jinyoung took it as Mark trying to move out his hold and ignoring him. Ironically, that was what Jinyoung wanted from Mark all day today for the older boy to leave him alone. However, after the whole self-deprecation thing, Jinyoung couldn’t hold back anymore. He wanted to leave his feeling for Mark behind but he knew he couldn’t un-love him, so when Mark was putting down himself, Jinyoung cracked. Jinyoung wouldn’t let anyone talk about Mark in that way ever not even Mark himself.

Jinyoung wanted to Mark to fully understand that he wasn’t allowed to speak like that, especially not in front of him because Jinyoung lose restraint and sense when Mark was being attacked verbally or physically.

Jinyoung put his hands on Mark’s face and forced him to look at him and closed the little space between them. Jinyoung mover his forehead from Mark’s face but didn’t put much distance from their face, he was about 10-15 cm further away. However, that distance adds between their faces he closed between there body. Mark was currently pushed up against the door with Jinyoung’s body flushed against his own. Mark finally snapped his attention back to Jinyoung, Mark felt his whole body lit on fire. However, that could either be from the fact of the body heat he was getting from Jinyoung being pressed up against him or the fact that the towel was the only thing separating from and little Jinyoung. Mark was telling himself that it was the first one but as he shifted to create some space between them because the heat was overwhelming, he ended up just causing Jinyoung push closer into the space that was non-existent between them because he thought the older was ignoring him again.

Mark's face was flushed at this point and he knew now that while the reason on why he was burning up was true, he face was definitely flushed because of the lack of clothes Jinyoung had on. To be more specific he was now enlightened to the fact that Jinyoung wasn’t just taller and more muscular than him now he was definitely much larger than him in many more aspects.

“Hyung, you wanted to talk and now you are ignoring me,” Jinyoung said in flat tone annoyance in his voice, which made Mark realize that despite the very dramatic physical changes that the younger went through weren’t reflective of his personality changes. The younger seemed to have the same one track mind when he was heated or pissed off. Which also seems to make him completely unaware of the fact that there was only a towel between him and Mark, very unaware seeing as he was pushing up closer to Mark to stop the older from moving away.

Mark was going to retort that he was trying to get away as he squirmed around to make space but he realized all his fidgeting was started to be more uncomfortable. The fabric of his sweats was creating friction down south with ‘little Mark’. ‘,” Mark thought, because the closer that Jinyoung pushed was making it much harder to focus on what Jinyoung wanted to say, again in both of the meanings. On top of that, he his was squirming into ‘little Jinyoung’ and he definitely wasn’t little, he was much bigger than Mark and the other was half hard at his point and Jinyoung wasn’t.

Mark really need Jinyoung to move away from this instant before Mark embarrassed himself further. “I’m not ignoring you, I’ll listen but can you put on some clothes first,” Mark said turning his head to the side not wanting Jinyoung to seem all fluster and bothered. Jinyoung became aware of his surroundings and instantly flushed, “ahhh- yeah- my…My bad I’ll be back.” Jinyoung said but stop right before he reached his door and turned around, “Don’t leave.” He said sternly, Mark didn’t respond but he nodded his head, not trusting any parts of his body at this point.

Once the door closed, Mark let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, “,” he whispered out in a hiss. He looked down at his pants with conflicted emotions, he was grateful he was wearing sweatpants and that he was smaller than ‘little Jinyoung’ because he is now aware to why Jinyoung rarely wore tight fitting pants. If he wore pants like Mark, Bambam, or Yugyeom he’d definitely be hurting a lot of guy’s egos. Like now because Mark hyung’s pride was bruised knowing now that ‘little Jinyoung’ flaccid was bigger than ‘little Mark’ fully erect. Though Mark was definitely grateful for his smaller size right now because at least his half hardness wasn’t showing to Jinyoung. Mark groaned out, ‘What the hell! It’s Jinyoung, I’ve known him since he was born. I’m not one of his fan club members.’ Mark mental scolded him for literally thinking with his . He had always known Jinyoung was good looking but they had been so close before he would tell the younger all the time how pretty he was and there was no problem. However, when he started to shun the younger he forced himself to hate Jinyoung when in truth he just didn’t want the younger to realize he could have better friends than him. Now, they are older and Mark stupid hormone are acting up because in all his years of know Jinyoung the younger wasn’t keen on showing his body.

Mark used to think it was strange and when he was younger he felt some type away like Jinyoung didn’t trust him but he respected the boy's decision because younger Jinyoung was very delicate in Mark’s eyes. In hindsight, it was probably best if Jinyoung kept his shirt on because not only did Mark’s body not know how to handle itself, but he also didn’t like the irritation he felt when Jinyoung let other random people who he hasn’t known for years see him like that.

Jinyoung came out of the room drying his hair, in a sleeveless shirt and form-fitting joggers and wasn’t sure if this was any better than him not wear clothes. Usually, Jinyoung works loose fitting pant and loose no exposing clothes, Mark was stuck between liking the new look and giving the boy his shirt because the armholes of his shirt were larger than they needed to and Jinyoung side muscles were prominent.

“Sehun texted me he wanted to go to the gym, I’ve haven’t really had time since Youngjae has been slacking, and Jaebum and I don’t match up to go to the gym together. However, I think we still need to talk before he comes back.” Jinyoung said acting as if the position they were in previously had not affected him in the same way it had an effect, Mark.

Mark nodded his face had unintentionally hardened when he heard Sehun’s name, he may not have noticed himself but Jinyoung did and that why he added that extra part in at the end.

“Okay, I listened to you hyung. Now, it is time for you to listen to me.” Mark face softening when he heard the hyung leave Jinyoung’s mouth and it brought relief to Jinyoung.

Mark followed Jinyoung to his couch and sat down, “Okay, I was definitely a bit harsh with you earlier. “I meant what I said about the trust issue thing but I was speaking to you very emotionally and my words were coming from an unresolved part of me that was still hurting. I shouldn’t have said I didn’t respect you anymore and I shouldn’t have dropped honorifics. I am still a bit angry and hurt but I understand your position better now. I, by no means, condone or think your actions were justified but I understand them. I still think you’re an and dumb too because I don’t care if the whole world thinks of you like how you described earlier. I never and will never see you that and I would’ve thought that you of all people would have known that. Also, don’t you say that about yourself again and definitely not in front of me.” Jinyoung said very sternly at the end but not as angrily as earlier.

Mark felt like he was being scolded but he was listening very intently and waiting to see where Jinyoung was choosing to take this conversation.

“I lied to you and myself earlier. I can’t care for you, you’ve been an but even so, I still can’t help but remember why hyung who held my hand when we had sleepovers because I was scared of the Dark or the hyung who taught me to swim even. You were my first friend and I will always treasure you, even know you are probably the only person I can be so open with. I wanted so badly not to care for because it is much easier and its less disappointing. However, when you said all that untrue crap about yourself, I snapped because I don’t care who it is, no is ever allowed to talk about you like that. You are the most caring person I know. Even when people made fun of me for looking like a girl when I was younger and called you gay because you stuck up for me, you never pushed me away. You always said I was the prettiest person you know and you'd marry me the second I was allowed to get married, to make sure I was treated right. When I was too small to do things with you, you just let our sisters go by themselves and you stayed with me even though I knew you really wanted to go. You hate cleaning up but whenever I would sleep over you would clean your room, until there was no dirt in sight because I was coming over.”

Mark flushed, he didn’t realize that Jinyoung knew he did those things for him because never wanted to make the younger feel bad, that Mark would be sacrificing himself for the younger.

“I didn’t know you knew those things,” Mark said embarrassed.

“You were sweet hyung, not secretive. You are very caring and just because you don’t want to do what your dad did doesn’t make you ungrateful or a disappointment. You may be a Tuan but that doesn’t make you any less Mark, it's your life and you shouldn’t let people who don’t give a about you or who are artificial with you have any say in how you view yourself. I can tell you what I see when I look at you, a filial son who loves his parents to the point he feels guilty for wanting to live his own life. A sensitive person, who doesn’t realize how amazing he is because he can only see how amazing other people are. A , who can’t figure out his feelings. However, a man who can admit when he is wrong but it is still a jealous kid.” Jinyoung said smiling at the elder.

“Jinyoung, I really want to be that hyung you remember again because I still mean it when I said you deserve to be treated right,” Mark said sincerely.

Jinyoung could feel his sincerity and although he was scared to get hurt again, he knows that he really wanted Mark back in his life, the Mark he knew. Although, he knew it would probably screw him over, in the long run, because even when he was an he couldn’t get over Mark. If he goes back to being his Mark, he’ll probably just fall in love all over again. Yet, Jinyoung could help but hug the elder and Mark didn’t take long to hug him back it was amazing as it used to be. Jinyoung felt warm and safe in Mark’s arms and Mark felt the need to protect he younger surge through his body.

“I missed you, hyung,” Jinyoung said burying his face in Mark’s neck and Mark pulled tighter and rest head on Jinyoung. Mark nuzzled Jinyoung’s head and it felt just right, even if it had been years since he held Jinyoung it wasn’t awkward. “Me too.” Jinyoung sighed contently before pulling away, at first Mark panicked not wanting to let go thinking if he let go it Jinyoung would disappear. However, he realizes now he was allowed to do this again and it would be okay.

Jinyoung smiled, “Well, when are you going to propose? I’m old enough now,” Jinyoung said joking because he wants to lighten the mood.

Mark was confused and remember his words, “I already proposed years ago, you’ve been mine since then.” Mark chuckled, but Jinyoung froze he didn’t Mark would say that, and he didn’t think he heart would be beating that fast. Mark saw the blush on Jinyoung and smiled because the same thing would happen when they were younger. He brought his really close to Jinyoung, “You got all grown up and masculine, luckily you still have these cheek and this blush.” Mark said softly before kiss Jinyoung chubby cheeks and pulling away light to whisper cute then he gave Jinyoung one last peck on his nose.

Jinyoung heart stopped and his whole face lit up in red, Mark chuckled at the sight he loved flustering Jinyoung and for some reason, he always loved being able to make the younger boy blush. Jinyoung, on the other hand, was in a state of panic he heart was trying to beat out of his chest and he was fighting the urge to pull Mark in close and kiss his lips that were centimeters away.

“Hyung~~~!” Jinyoung whined and his face in his face. “We are older now, you can’t do that anymore. People will get the wrong idea and think you serious.” Jinyoung groaned, he would be one of those people too.

“I am serious. You were mine before and mine now, you didn’t care before when people said things. Plus, you just told me that I shouldn’t care about what other people who mean nothing to me say. You mean to as much to me as my family so I should only care if you have a problem,” Mark said seriously.

Jinyoung was sure he needed to go the hospital because his heart was beating so hard he thinks he could hear it thumping. “I-people will this we are dating…” Jinyoung muttering, Mark smiled. “People think you and Jaebum are dating and that I’m dating Jackson because of how affectionate they are with us, so it really doesn’t indicate anything.”

“You can’t get a relationship if you go around kissing me in front people.” Jinyoung said to think of all the reason that Mark shouldn't be kissing him because his heart was telling him ‘kiss away’.

“If I wanted a relationship I’d be in one. Plus, they’d have to like you and be okay with this anyway because I’m not losing you again, not for anyone.” Mark said cupping his face, “I’m not going to leave again Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung heart was clenching again but painfully, “Mark hyung, don’t make a promise like that because…” He trailed off because he wanted to say that it gave him hope that he could have Mark.

Mark shook his head, “Don’t worry, I’ll get back your trust you’ll see I mean it because you’re important to me.”

Jinyoung felt like crying because he knew that Mark will never mean it in the way that Jinyoung selfishly wants. “Hyung, don’t do or say things that you’ll regret later okay? We are different people now, I don’t expect everything to stay the same.”

“Are you seeing someone Jinyoung?” Mark asked seriously and Jinyoung felt completely flustered again.

“What? No.”

“Then does it bother you, do you hate being this close?” Mark asked still completely serious.

Jinyoung sense told to say he was uncomfortable because they are older now but his stupid brain said ‘no’ instead.

Mark finally smiled again, “Good. Neither do I.”

Mark pulled Jinyoung down as his back laid on the couch with Jinyoung on top of him, “Good, we can make up for lost cuddling time because I forgot how comfy you are.” Mark said closing his eyes cradling Jinyoung on top of him and all of Jinyoung’s body was against him. He said stop and told his brain to pull away and tell Mark he has to meet Sehun but his brain told his body to snuggle into Mark and wrap his arms around Mark's waist.