warning: this chapter contains rated scene

 

“I was just growing a flower that can’t be bloomed, dreaming a dream that can never come true…”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

“Kim Taehyung, what’s with all the bruises, were you fighting again?”

 

His heart skipped to a beat the moment he heard the sweet, calming voice he missed over the month. The anguish frown on his face faded almost instantly. He was fighting with the urge inside not to pull the petite girl in his arms.

 

“Do you still care about me? Isn’t it none of your concern anymore?” his voice was low and frail. “You didn’t even reply to any of my texts,” he got up from the bench and ever so slowly, he paced up to Joohyun through the thick snow.

 

“Today is the day…” Joohyun looked away, avoiding his tormenting eyes.

 

Pulling her into his embrace, he closed his weary eyes “don’t…don’t say it…” his voice was shaking, hands around her waist were trembling. The fact that he was dreading to face was bound to be revealed, the fear of losing her, his love. “Don’t say what you don’t mean.”

 

Closing her eyes, she bit her quivering lips, painfully “You’re not the right person for me. That’s my answer, I’m sorry.”

 

His face cringed in pain at the answer he feared most, “no, I don’t believe you…” he pulled away from her and held tightly on her shoulders “that’s not the truth, what happened? Why is the sudden change, did Jennie said something to you? I know you do have feelings for me, isn’t it?” his cold hands reached out to her face but was harshly pushed away by Joohyun.

 

Hardening her aching heart, she scowled “I didn’t want to hurt you but since you’re asking for the hard way,” she looked up to him, emotionlessly “Just like what we had promised one another in the beginning, we would part way after the graduation. It’s over, it’s ended. You get it?”

 

“I can feel that you love me too...”

 

Joohyun cut him off, a glint of dark in her malevolent eyes, “you mean the feeling you got from the kiss and intimacy that we shared?” she snorted, crossing her arms over her chest “I never thought you would be this innocent, it’s just a kiss. It meant nothing to me, I could do it with anyone.”

 

Taehyung shook his head, biting on his lower lip. His fists tightened so hard that the knuckles were turning white, “you’re lying, the Bae Joohyun I know it’s not even a tiny bit like that.”

 

A mocking smile escaped from her lips, “you’re more naïve than what I expected you to be. True, I did show you some love. I did ‘pretend’ to look like I love you. But that’s because you might be the heir of YJ Group.” taking a seat on the bench, she continued “if you’re to write your own future without stepping foot into the group, then you’re just nothing.”

 

“What about the promise of not leaving me?” tear entered his eyes as the promises they shared during the trip replayed in his mind. He was gasping in pain.

 

“If I never say that, would you even give me your trust, would you fall for me?”

 

“What about this?” he grabbed hold on her arms and yanked her up with a strong strength. Holding on the necklace clasped around her neck, he asked “why are you still wearing it?”

 

“Taehyung-ssi, it’s a platinum necklace...” she removed it and shoved it into his hand “I’ll return this back to you if it could end things smoothly. It's all a lie, take it as a trip I've brought you to visit a dream that let you experienced love. When you get up tomorrow, everything will be fine.”

 

He laughed miserably, a tear dropped from his eyes of sorrow. “Well done Bae Joohyun, you’ve done so well. I bet my mother had given you a bunch of money to change me.”

 

“Indeed, that’s the reason why I have to put up with you even when you’re such a nuisance,” she admitted as if what she had said was not torturous enough.

 

Pulling his necklace hardly, he threw both of it towards the direction of the tree behind the bench. “Thank you for this game of love, it has engraved in my heart. I’ll never forget this experience.”

 

That was the last spiteful words Taehyung had said to Joohyun before walking away from her, stepping out from her life, completely.

 

-

 

Everyone was searching high and low for Taehyung and Joohyun after receiving their scrolls. When Seungwan found Joohyun at the benches area, she was frightened by her condition. The pale violinist was kneeling on the snowy floor digging and pushing on the snow in searching for something.

 

“Stop it, your hands are freezing already,” Seungwan held onto her hands but the frail girl shoved her off effortlessly. “What are you looking for? It’s snowing and it’s getting heavier already.”

 

When she attempted to stop her again, Joohyun finally found the shimmering necklaces, laid in the icy snow. She was holding onto it tightly, bringing up to her heart weeping, painfully. Seungwan removed her winter jacket and draped it around the shivering girl. The last time she has seen her best friend in such sobbing mess and pain was when Joohyun’s first love left. She wasn’t sure what has happened to her this time but her instinct is telling her that the pain Joohyun is experiencing, is way worse than the previous time.

 

“What happened? Joohyun-ah, you don’t scare me...” Seungwan wrapped her arm around her trembling shoulders.

 

Joohyun’s only response was shaking her head continuously, choking with her sobs along the way “everything has ended before it could even start...it’s over...”

 

Seungwan hugged her tightly, letting the snow hits on them.

 

-

(credit owner)

♪ Fake Love ♪

Jimin arrived at YJ Hotel in the speed of light the moment he received Taehyung’s call. He knew his buddy was in trouble just by listening his voice. Running towards the room number Taehyung gave him, he saw a girl came out from the room. Her dress was in a mess and he could see finger marks on her wrists before she could put on her large jacket. Storming into the room immediately, Jimin was petrified by the mess on the bed. He scanned through the room in searching for Taehyung. He was sitting on the carpeted floor, back against the wall, lifelessly.

 

“Taehyung...you’re bleeding.” Jimin rushed up to his friend and covered his top body with the white bathrobe. “Tell me what happened, what did you do to that girl? you’re worrying me...”

 

Taehyung laughed, bitterly “Do you know how I feel? It feels good to punish her on bed, it made me feel better. It was like I'm punishing Bae Joohyun.” he turned to Jimin, an unkind smile on his face “when I see this blood, I felt even better.” Taehyung brought up his hand watching the blood gradually dripped down to his wrist.

 

“Why would you want to punish Joohyun?” Jimin grabbed his hand and clean up his wound with a clean towel before getting the first aid kit. “Did you guys fight?”

 

Taehyung shook his head, emotionlessly “no...it will not happen anymore.”

 

“You must have made her angry again...” Jimin’s heart dropped when he felt a droplet of tear fell on his hand that was fixing the bandage on Taehyung. He looked up at his buddy before him. Taehyung was crying again, the tears escaped his eyes, endlessly. He looked broken and it reminded him of the 15 years old Taehyung.

♫♪♫

For you,

I could pretend like I was happy when I was sad

For you,

I could pretend like I was strong when I was hurt

♫♪♫

“She said it was all a lie, all the things she did it’s just to deceive me, to make me fall for her.” Taehyung brought up his arms and buried his head in it. “It was only an act, she doesn’t love me, not even a bit.”

 

“Joohyun is not that kind of a person, why would she do that?”

♫♪♫

I wish love was perfect as love itself

I wish all my weaknesses could be hidden

♫♪♫

“Because I’m one of the heirs of YJ Group...Jimin-ah, I love her, I love her very much, do you know that?” Taehyung fell on Jimin’s arms. He rested his head on the latter shoulder, sobbing hysterically. “She was the first person who made me feel loved, make me understand what love means and how beautiful it could be. Why must it be a lie?”

♫♪♫

I grew a flower that can’t be bloomed

In a dream that can’t come true

♫♪♫

Running his hand on Taehyung’s back, Jimin tried to offer any sort of comfort he could to the damaged boy as he listened to his cries. “I knew I don’t deserve any love but I thought god was kind to me this time...was it because of my weakness, my dark past? Because of these, I was not good enough for her. All this while, I was just growing a flower that can’t be bloomed, dreaming a dream that can never come true.”

 

“There must be a misunderstand, talk to her again...”

♫♪♫

I’m so sick of this

Fake love Fake love Fake love

I’m so sorry but it’s

Fake love Fake love Fake love

♫♪♫

“No... don’t, I can’t take it anymore...” Taehyung begged his friend as he lowered his head, “I should have known I don’t deserve her, I shouldn’t have fallen for her to save myself from all this pain. I swear, I won’t search for love, anymore...”

 

-Autumn, 2018-

 

“Because I want you to feel the same pain that I have. This is your punishment for the decision you made 7 years ago, for deceiving me,” another tear fell from his eye landed on her face. Taehyung got up from the couch, intending to leave but Joohyun’s sudden reminder halted him.

 

“Why are you making things so much harder than it already was?” Joohyun muttered as she propped herself up from the couch with her elbow. “Remember the rules you had set? There shouldn’t be any emotions involved, only intimacy and physical connections.”

 

He whirled around, fury “oh yes, a like you was meant to pleasure me physically only.” Walking up to her in haste, he held on her wrist and yanked her up “is that what you mean?”

 

She gulped at his menacing tone, “that’s what we are supposed to be in these 2 years, wasn’t it?”

 

“Great!” he hissed while pulling her towards the dining table.

 

Taehyung swept down all the porcelain items on the table before pushing her on it. He forced her to bend over on her stomach while unbuckling his belt, the sound of the shattering plates made her shivered even more but it didn’t stop him. Holding firmly on her neck, he could feel she was tremoring in fear. He knew his actions were frightening her but he couldn’t stop himself. The monster in him was unleashed by this woman beneath him once again.

 

“N-ot here, T-t-aehyung…” her voice was quivering, “p-lease, not here.”

 

“Does it matter to you? You’re just something to pleasure me, remember. You reminded me that time and again!”  he grabbed on the hem of her floral chiffon dress and pulled it up. She could feel chill running up her bottom and she squirmed the moment a smack landed on it. “You asked for this, !” he shoved his long finger roughly between her folds causing her shrieked at the sudden contact below her.

 

Joohyun held tightly on the edge of the table when he widened the gap between her foot with his heel, she knew what was coming. Without much warning, he pushed his length in her forcefully and the tears that she was holding back escaped her eyes. She could feel the pain but she wasn’t sure was it the ruthless force he’s using on her physically or his cold-heart that hurts her more.

 

“Ahhh…T-aehyung…s-t-op…” she barely got to speak coherently through her mess.

 

He leaned in against her back and whispered, “you sure that’s what you want? That sweet sound you’re making now it’s contradicting you, Joohyun.”

 

“It hurts…” tears welled up in her eyes.

 

He smirked, heartlessly “was it? but it gives me great pleasure.”

 

Pulling her up roughly, he pushed her on the wall before crashing his lips on hers without letting any of them to catch a breath. She could feel how fast his tongue immediately sought hers, his hold on the back of her head hardened, picking up his speed remorsefully. Moans and groans filled the doleful house that shared by the ill-stared lovers. In spite of each and every action of theirs were slowly killing them inside, neither of them dare to take a step further to stop this tormenting pain. They continued to hurt and damage each other despite the love they buried deep inside is surging up.

 

When he got up the next day, his arms were still wrapping firmly around the fragile damaged woman. He knew she was controlling herself not to be in tears but her shaking body failed her. Brushing off her messed up hair that was sticking on her face, he checked on her mildly. Only then, he noticed all the faint red marks that covered on her collarbone, his fingers marks were evident on her small wrists. He remembered how much strength and force he had used on her.

 

Getting out from the bed, he intended to prepare something for her but her sudden strong and firm arms enveloped around his waist stopped him. He looked at her over his shoulder, confused. “Stop complicate things even more, can’t we live normally till the contract ends? You’re making me break the rules and violate the terms in the agreement…I can’t risk my father’s company,” she wept, her hands were trembling around his waist.

 

Closing his eyes wearily, his heart wrenched every time he sighted the bruises on her fair body. He wasn’t sure what she meant by violating the terms. All this while she had been adhering to all of it unless, she’s falling for him. “What are you violating…” he asked timidly, despite knowing he’s endangering himself to be hurt again. Even so, he still wanted to ask.

 

“I…” her lips were quivering, tears never stop falling from her eyes.

 

“Stay here,” he unclasped her arms around him and walked into the bathroom.

 

Slamming his tightened fist on the vanity before looking up to the huge mirror, he stared into his own reflection; the side of him that he hated the most. “You lose it again!!!”

 

Joohyun was staring blankly on the off-white ceiling whilst lying motionlessly on the bed that filled with their sinful acts. A tear dripped down her pale face again the moment she recalled Taehyung’s wounding words. Suddenly, Taehyung lifted her into his arms and headed towards the bathroom. She squirmed in his arms as she was oblivious that he has came out from the bathroom, already dressed in tee and sweatpants.

 

“Put me down,” she whispered after circling her arms around his neck in fear.

 

“Shh…” he hushed her and stepped into the spacious bathroom. Placing her into the bathtub, he noticed she was avoiding to share any eye contact with him.

 

The warm water somehow eased her pain but with him eyeing at her closely, it made her blushed heavily. Her heart was racing, pounding hardly against her chest, it worsened when he had one knee on the marbled floor closing in their gap. Gazing at her red and puffy eyes, he was fighting inside whether to continue being harsh to her or to let go of his pride and bury her in his arms.

 

“Feel better?” he caressed on her rosy cheek without looking into her eyes.

 

“You don’t have to stay here, I can do it myself…”

 

“Do you like it when you see me so desperate?”

 

“Oppa…”

 

“I miss this voice,” he pecked on her lips then gently nibbling on her jawline down to her neck. “You’ll come with me for my next business trip in London.”

 

“But I…ahhh…” a moan escaped her lips when she felt his fingers. “Tae…hyung-ssi…” her head fell back giving him more access to her neck.

 

He smirked at her reaction, “you won’t want me to do more, be a good girl and say yes.”

 

“O-okay…I’ll go…” she begged with her breathy voice, her hand holding on his in the water.

 

He pulled away and stared into her eyes. Defying his cold-hearted heart, he inched in and placed his lips on hers. “You’re mine, remember that,” he murmured.

 

-

 

“Where are you going?” Taehyung held on her wrist stopping her from leaving the room.

 

Joohyun’s grip on her sling bag tightened, “Uncle Kim has arranged for a family dinner, appa insisted for me to join this time.”

 

“It’s still early, we can go together,” Taehyung’s hand loosened but still not letting go.

 

“Of course, we can’t” she said, nervously. “You’re supposed to be there with your wife. We can’t be seen together.”

 

“We can go in separately, no one would notice.”

 

“No, we can’t. After all, Baekhyun oppa will be picking me at my dorm later. I need to go back to the dorm before it looks suspicious.”

 

He sighed, resting his hand on her shoulder whilst holding on her nape “wouldn’t it be troublesome?”

 

Pushing him seated on the edge of the bed, she said “we’ll be in trouble if our family find out about us. See you later…”

 

Just when she was about to turn and leave, he pulled her back and made her sit on his lap, arm securely wrapped around her waist. She was surprised by his sudden move. Her nose tip brushed on his, they were only separated by an inch gap.

 

Caressing on her cheek, he teased “if you’re leaving just like that, then you’re not going anywhere.”

 

Trying her best to lean back so that she could keep a safe distance with him, his hand on her waist tightened again. “What do you want?” she stuttered.

 

“What do you think?” he eyed on her lips before looking up to her eyes again.

 

She bit on her upper lip, “I…”

 

He pinched on her lips, “are your lips that chewable that you have to always bite it?”

 

She shook her head, “will you let me go after I give you something?”

 

“Well…” he brushed the strand of hair to her back and said “we’ll see…”

 

She cut him off with a long peck on his lips. Her eyes were shut tightly. Before he could say another word, she had run towards the exit and left the room. A wide smile formed on his face without his realization.

 

The Bae family arrived early at the barbeque restaurant. Bae Seung Hoon was all prepared since morning and began to irritate everyone in the house, ensuring they are in their best shape to meet his best friend. Joohyun was lectured by Bae Seung Hoon throughout the journey from her dorm to the restaurant for being late. When she arrived at her dorm, she saw her brother’s car was already waiting for her in front of the security guard house. She ran all the way to the back door to enter the apartment building and almost broke her long-kept secret.

 

“Yeobo, can you just calm down,” Seung Hoon’s wife, Kim Yoon Mi finally voiced out. She was frustrated by her husband. “This is not your first time meeting Kim Young Jae, so why are you pressuring everyone here? It’s just a casual dinner.”

 

“We have not met for so many months and this is the first time for everyone to be here,” Bae Seung Hoon tried to reason with his wife.

 

“Luckily Kim Young Jae is not a woman, you would really divorce me for him,” Kim Yoon Mi folded her arms before her chest.

 

“Appa…omma is jealous,” Baekhyun teased his parents as he filled the glasses of water. Joohyun can’t help but chuckled on the jokes her brother made. “Joohyun-ah, you looked so much better now. Are you that happy living alone?” Baekhyun turned to his sister and shared a brief conversation.

 

“Do I looked that good?” her right hand raised to her face and before she could say another word, the vibration of her phone caught her attention, it was the text messages from Jin.

 

“They are here,” Bae Seung Hoon got up from his seat and paced towards the entrance.

 

“Uncle Bae,” Taehyung greeted with a bow and shared a brotherly hug with Baekhyun.

 

“This must be Taehyung’s wife,” Bae Seung Hoon smiled.

 

“Annyeon