‘‘That is it for today. Remember to study well for the upcoming exams next month. Class dismissed!’’

‘‘Thank you!’’, the students replied in unison, before packing their bags as the teacher walked out of the classroom.

Joohyun quietly grabbed her books, stuffing them in her black schoolbag whilst forcing herself to keep her head down. The feeling of loneliness always got stronger whenever she was amongst her classmates whom she had never spoken to.

It felt embarrassing, being the loner of the group. Joohyun couldn’t help but feel a bunch of eyes looking at her, criticizing her behind her back.

What did people think of her? What was her role? Was she intimidating, or did they feel sorry for her? Did people avoid her at all costs?

These questions never stopped echoing through her mind, endlessly playing like a broken record.

She thought about it before, during and after class. Every time she was on school grounds. Sometimes before she fell asleep. It became a routine.

These concerns made her feel buried alive. And as they controlled her, Joohyun did all of the mundane things on autopilot. Packing her personal belongings, walking, writing, eating.

Never fully engaged in the here-and-now.

She sighed in frustration, carrying herself through the hallway with hunched shoulders and heavy stones in her shoes.

For a moment, she had felt some hope.

The hope of a new beginning, of being able to start all over.

She had been blinded by temporarily happiness.

So naïve.

Her eyes searched for an isolated place to sit in the school’s cafeteria, settling on a table in a corner surrounded by other empty tables.

Joohyun took a seat and fished an apple out of her bag.

A group of four people had walked into cafeteria, happily chatting about the plans for the upcoming weekend. Joohyun recognized them as her classmates and she felt herself getting more uncomfortable being there on her own, with no one to talk to.

She quickly grabbed her phone, pretending to be busy typing, while staring at the black screen.

You are pathetic and weird.

Why did she care so much about others’ opinions no matter how irrelevant they were while knowing it destroyed her?

Because people love to judge, and they shut you out if you are different. That is how the world works.

Yes, that was the truth.

And her life was the evidence.

She had often wished that people were more like her.

Non-judgemental and accepting. Joohyun never criticized anyone, had never been a bully.

And it seemed as if there were more bullies in the world than not. That is why she had to be careful. Why she tried so hard to fit in.

To never experience that pain again.

‘‘Why are you staring at a black screen?’’

Joohyun jumped at the sudden voice next to her ear. A very similar voice. In fact, this whole situation was very familiar.

Her eyes met another pair of dark brown ones and a playful smirk climbed up the face of the person responsible for her second near heart attack since yesterday. Yeri.

The latter took a chair, sitting opposite of Joohyun.

‘‘It is so easy to startle you. And fun to do so!’’, she chuckled, taking a lunchbox out of her pink purse.

Joohyun gulped as she looked at the girl sitting in front of her. The last thing she expected was spontaneous social interaction, and she did not feel the least prepared for it.

‘‘Earth to Joohyun, earth to Joohyun!’’

Oh right, I haven’t said anything.

‘‘H...uh...hi’’, the older girl stuttered, and she bit her lip as a punishment. ‘‘Sorry.’’

‘‘Uh, for what?’’, Yeri asked before putting a spoon of white rice in .

‘‘For not talking… I guess’’, Joohyun nervously scratched the back of her head.

Yeri blinked a few times before shrugging her shoulders.

‘‘I didn’t know you also had a break at 2! Sooyoung is free from class in 15 minutes. We always eat together than’’, Yeri took another bite of her food. ‘‘Or actually, by the time she gets here, I am often already finished. This empty stomach cannot wait!’’

Ah, so Sooyoung was also joining. The three of them… together. As friends? Acquaintances? Joohyun wasn’t sure.

But one thing, she was certain of.

She would not spend this break on her own.

Her gaze fell on the group of classmates sitting together at the other side of the cafeteria. Joohyun was hoping they would look in her direction.

So they could see that she was not a loner, that she was not some weird person with no friends.

Why do you want their approval so much?

Joohyun frowned at the thought, earning a questioning look from Yeri, who curiously turned around and followed the older girl’s gaze.

‘‘What are you looking at?’’, the sudden question made Joohyun hold her breath and she pulled on the sleeves of her sweater, covering her hands.

‘‘N-nothing. Just thinking. About… something’’, she replied quietly and Yeri narrowed her eyes, trying to focus on Joohyun’s voice.

‘‘You have to speak more clearly and loudly, otherwise I can’t hear you well.’’

‘‘Oh, sorry…’’, Joohyun quavered as she took in Yeri’s words. She felt humiliated by the criticism the girl had given her.

I never do anything right.

‘‘You apologize a lot, don’t you?’’, Yeri stated, visibly observing Joohyun’s entire being. Or at least, that is how it felt to the latter.

As if Yeri was analysing her, accessing every detail. And the fact that she kept commenting on her behaviour only proved it.

People love to judge.

Maybe it was best to just stay quiet. If she didn’t talk, then it would be more difficult for Yeri to criticize her.

Yes, silence was the best option. It was def-

‘‘What are you thinking about?’’, the short-haired girl was persistent.

‘‘I...I am not thinking… I am just...tired.’’

No. She couldn’t. Joohyun was one to quickly feel guilty. She just could not bring herself to be rude and ignore Yeri.

Unlike most people.

Joohyun saw herself as a doormat, easily stepped on. And she never said a word about it.

Why should she? It wasn’t like people were willing to be nice to her; to respect her. They only thought of themselves.

She was lucky to have Seulgi around. The only person who treated her well. And Seungwan.

After hearing Seungwan’s words about making other’s happy, Joohyun felt safer in her presence.

Even though she had never actually felt threatened by her, not even during the first time they met. And that really was a rare occasion.

‘‘Are you sure? It seemed like you were thinking. That you were thinking a lot. You actually seem like an overthinker’’, Yeri nonchalantly commented as she chewed on a piece of fried chicken.

Joohyun’s mouth opened a bit, shocked at how Yeri just threw around comments like that without even considering how she felt about it.

Why does she dislike me this much? What did I ever do to her?

Thinking about it, Yeri did like startling her. She had done so the day before, and today. And now, the younger girl was sitting there, criticizing her out loud without feeling the slightest of guilt.

She did not even ask for permission to join her table, solely doing whatever she wants and evading her personal space.

Maybe she is bullying me? Can this be considered bullying?

It always started this way. Someone would poke her bit, testing her. And when they realized how weak she was, they pushed her on the ground, beating her up with words; showing off how much better they were.

‘‘I am not…’’, Joohyun muttered trying to defend herself, however Yeri was busy scooping up the leftovers in her lunchbox.

‘‘Oh, hi Joohyun! Nice to see you here! I didn’t know you also had a break at this time!’’

Sooyoung walked over to their table with a smile on her face. Joohyun didn’t know whether she felt relieved that there was someone else there, or scared since this person was close friends with Yeri, and probably as worse or maybe even more.

Joohyun could not bring herself to speak, so she nodded as a greeting. Maybe leaving was better. She was used to spending her breaks alone anyways. Yes, that should be a good solution.

‘‘Mind if I sit next to you?’’, Sooyoung asked in a friendly tone. Somehow, that question made Joohyun feel a bit more comfortable. Probably because of the contrast with Yeri. And Sooyoung’s smile seemed so… soft and genuine.

The oldest girl quietly nodded again, in approval.

‘‘Wah, Yeri… you already finished eating? Why can’t you ever wait?’’, Sooyoung pouted.

‘‘Well, I was hungry. And the natural reaction to hunger is eating.’’, Yeri answered casually.

‘‘Still can’t you even wait for 15 minutes? You really need to be more considerate sometimes’’, Sooyoung complained.

‘‘Please don’t tell me you are siding with my sister!’’

‘‘Seungwan does have point. Plus, it’s fun annoying you by siding with her’’, Sooyoung chuckled. Now it was Yeri’s turn to pout and she crossed her arms in defence.

Right. Seungwan was her sister. How was it even possible for such a selfless person to share the same genes with someone like Yeri?

While Seungwan made Joohyun feel safe, Yeri made her feel as if she was on the verge of danger all the time. Her anxiety worsened around her. Maybe it was warning her, maybe it was her intuition that was trying to keep her away from potential trouble.

At this point, Joohyun just wanted to run away somewhere far from the girl.

‘‘So, what were you guys talking about?’’, Sooyoung asked, grabbing a bottle of water.

Joohyun wanted to tell her about Yeri constantly criticizing her, and how she wanted it to stop.

But she couldn’t.

Conflict was the last thing she wanted, and she was sure that the younger one would lie about it. Pretend to be innocent. Just like everyone else did.