‘‘Are you sure you don’t want me to accompany you two?’’, Seulgi asked.

The latter and Joohyun were walking behind Seungwan, Sooyoung and Yeri, the two siblings engaged in an argument about Yeri’s habit to easily spend money on what her sister labelled as ‘unnecessary things’.

Joohyun lifted her gaze towards the blonde girl in front of her, taking note of the way she walked, how her hands would not stop moving as she was deeply committed to the conversation, the several facial expressions that she showed in a few seconds, how her lips curled up so prettily every time she smiled, the way she emitted warmth and was so… alive.

Not noticing how her own lips would go up every time she observed her, her fondness and attachment grew subconsciously in her heart.

She snapped out of her trance, as Seulgi loudly coughed in order to get her attention.

‘‘Oh… yes, I am sure. I will be fine Seulgi’’, Joohyun answered, giving her a gentle smile. Her best friend slightly bit the inside of her cheek, as she directed her gaze towards the feet moving in front of her.

‘‘What’s wrong?’’, she knew Seulgi had the habit of biting her cheek whenever something bothered her.

The brown-haired girl sighed and chuckled lightly.

‘‘You really know my habits too well, don’t you?’’

‘‘After 10 years of friendship I should. But that still doesn’t answer my question.’’ Joohyun was worried, which is why she could not help but sound deadly serious and somewhat a bit blunt.

‘‘I am just concerned’’, Seulgi simply stated, her eyes still glued on the floor. Joohyun took her friend’s hand into her own, giving it a gentle squeeze.

‘‘I told you I would be fine. You make it sound like she is going to abduct me or something!’’, she joked, however no sign of smile was visible on taller girl’s face.

‘‘It sure feels like it’’, Seulgi murmured only barely audible enough for Joohyun to hear. The latter opened to ask what she meant by the comment but got interrupted by an excited voice.

‘‘We are finally here!’’ Yeri squealed. ‘‘The best place to spend your time to its fullest potential.’’

Joohyun couldn’t see her face, but she knew Seungwan was probably either rolling her eyes so much they would almost disappear behind her skull, or giving Yeri a scolding look.

***

The group parted their ways, after Joohyun reassured Seulgi for what seemed like the tenth time that day that she would manage without her.

Seungwan suggested for them to go to a Ddeokbokki restaurant, and given Joohyun’s love for that dish, she wholeheartedly agreed.

‘‘How was your first day at this university?’’, Seungwan asked once they had settled down at a table near the corner of the restaurant next to a large window which displayed people walking around, entering and exiting shops.

They had ordered the food at the counter and were told to take a seat.

Joohyun internally chuckled at the question, since it sounded like something a parent would ask.

‘‘You are such a mom’’, she smiled. The blonde girl blinked a few times before erupting in a laughter, the butterflies in Joohyun’s stomach fluttering at the sound.

‘‘Yea, I have heard that a few times. My sister always complains about it’’, Seungwan had her elbow on the table, propping up her chin.

‘‘So, tell me about it. Your day.’’

Joohyun’s smile disappeared as she reflected on the past events. The only good thing about this day, was when she had stumbled upon Seungwan, Sooyoung and Yeri while waiting for Seulgi.

The rest of the day had been rather; lonely. And distressing. The constant feeling of being watched and judged by others was and has always been overwhelming.

To the point where she always wanted to go home and isolate herself from everyone else.

However, she would not admit this. She would absolutely not tell Seungwan about her feelings, specially if they were negative.

Joohyun had never been one to convey her emotions, as she was more often gloomy than not. Expressing those emotions would only mean that she would show someone a bad side of herself, a vulnerable side.

The imperfect her.

The times she did convey her emotions, it felt like she was spurting non-sense, as if nobody would take her seriously and dismiss it or judge her as a crazy person and avoid her.

It had taken Seulgi a long time to be seen as trustworthy. Eventually, she became the only person able to put Joohyun at ease; the person she dared to open herself to. There was no one else.

Even though, sometimes she even was unable to completely express every single detail of what she felt to her best friend.

So Joohyun did what she was best at.

‘‘It was a good day’’, she replied, not giving away any details. Usually, people would accept this answer, and move on with the conversation or it would result in an awkward tension and nobody being able to come up with a new subject.

‘‘Why?’’

Apparently, there is a third option.

Joohyun furrowed her brows in confusion. Seungwan tilted her head, a smirk climbing its way up to her face. There was an amused look in her eyes.

‘‘I asked why. Why was it a good day? What made you label it as such?’’

The black-haired girl’s heartrate quickened at the thought that she would have lie her way out only to fail miserably and Seungwan seeing through her.

Since the first day they met, Joohyun had felt like the girl in front of her could read her mind, as if she was an open book or had a transparent soul.

Seungwan did not once break eye contact, but her stare was not intense nor frightening. The amused look was replaced by something gentle, soothing and warm. Like blankets, hot chocolate or a hot bath on a cold day. As if she was melting her ice.

And for once, it crossed her mind; telling the truth, baring herself. Letting out everything that she had tried suppressing during that day and the past few years.

Joohyun thought about it for a few seconds, but as she felt a lump in , she was snapped back into reality.

No.

She couldn’t. She wasn’t allowed.

‘‘The teachers and my classmates were welcoming. A few girls approached me, and we had a short conversation.’’

She wasn’t completely lying; there was some truth to it. That is what Joohyun told herself.

‘‘Oh, that’s nice! So, you have already made some new friends?’’

None. And it’s all my fault.

‘‘I mean, we only talked a bit. You can’t consider that friendship.’’

Forming friendships was never her strength; having solely one friend for the last 11 years was the evidence.

Seungwan’s bottom lip slightly jutted out when she heard those words.

‘‘We aren’t friends?’’, the sad tone in her voice pierced Joohyun’s heart like an arrow.

.

Joohyun held her breath as her eyes darted, avoiding Seungwan’s face and quickly trying to figure out what to say. She felt her blood pumping in her ears as the stress increased.

This is exactly why she thought keeping shut was better. At least she wouldn’t make a fool of herself or say idiotic things with disas