Joohyun jolted out of sleep at the dreadful sound of the alarm she had set the night before. The bed cracked under the movements she made, tossing and turning until her fingers found the source of what would speed up her heart rate each morning from now on.

She put a halt to the disturber of her dreams, the bright light of her phone paining her slightly opened but bloodshot eyes. It was exactly 6 o’clock.

Deep sighs filled the otherwise silent room as she her back, allowing herself to recover from the adrenaline rush that was paired up with waking up abruptly.

Joohyun sometimes wondered, no, she was certain that alarms affected her health. Her heart surely did not appreciate it.

As she rested her right arm on her eyes, Joohyun felt herself drift away to the most unpredictable place; her own fantasy world that changed every night.

However, she was denied access as an object hit her head, and she instantly lifted herself from under the comfortable and protective sheets. Joohyun yawned as she fixated her eyes on a pillow which certainly did not belong to her.

‘‘Bae Joohyun, how dare you rob me from my one-hour extra sleep! Curse you, devil!’’, the unamused voice was more effective than any other alarm in the world.

Joohyun grinned as she let her fingers travel through her long black hair, softly massaging her head in an attempt to remind herself of her morning routine. It seemed to work.

‘‘Shower, clothes, breakfast, brushing teeth, bring laptop and notebooks, school’’, Joohyun listed as she thought about how much time she could allow herself to spend on these tasks in order to arrive at school around 08:15. Not too late nor too early.

Joohyun wanted to prevent drawing too much attention from her classmates. Being a new student, it would be inevitable to stand out, and it was something she was not fond of.

People were always naturally curious about strangers who were added to an already existing group, however they were also ready to judge them, and decide whether they were a part of the community or a misfit. She had experienced the struggles of being the odd one and it always came back to haunt her sooner or later.

The water covered her skin like a warm soft blanket, cleansing both her body and her mind. Joohyun had always been a fan of hot showers. It was a stress reliever, allowing her to momentarily detach herself from any negativity that was present.

She would either live fully in the moment, feeling every drop and concentrating on the relaxing sound of running water or let her mind wander towards the more positive things; pleasant daydreams or good memories.

Such as images of last night.

Seungwan’s smirk, her winks, the way Joohyun’s name rolled over her tongue, the way she tilted her head slightly to the right, how the tone of her voice could go from flirtatious to gentle, her melodious laughter, her vivid facial expressions and the most important part of the night; Seungwan’s hand gently caressing hers radiating comfort.

Joohyun snapped out of her thoughts. What she really thinking of that while showering?

Embarrassment washed over her as if someone watching her every move, reading her mind and passing on judgments. She felt disgusted with herself.

Hot showers were supposed to fix everything, but this time it was an exception. She groaned and turned off the water.

Maybe some breakfast will help.

It didn’t.

She knew it wouldn’t because as soon as she saw the kitchen counter, the memory of Seungwan’s suggestion to cook for her popped up.

A heavy sigh escaped as she slammed her hand on the black and flat surface, a couple of plates trembling under the vibrations.

Get yourself together you fool. Joohyun felt like she was losing her mind. The last thing on her to-do list was to stress over someone whom she had only met the day before.

How could someone be so annoying yet pleasant and kind and beautiful an-

Joohyun messed up her hair out of frustration, trying to erase thoughts of a certain girl whose eyes felt like the home she’d never had.

‘‘What the are you doing?’’, Seulgi’s sudden appearance startled Joohyun to the point of a nearly heart attack. She felt like a thief caught doing the deed.

''Nothing! I...was just thinking about what to eat’’, Joohyun was thankful to her brain for coming up with a lie that quickly.

Seulgi blinked her eyes a few times.

‘‘You know it’s already 08:00, don’t you?’’

‘‘WHAT?!’’, Joohyun looked on her watch, only to find out that she had been spending the whole time doing… well nothing really. She ran towards the bathroom quicker than the speed of light, an endless stream of swear words flying out of .

---

Her introduction could have been worse, even though the sound of her growling stomach echoing through the silence filled classroom with lots of eyes staring at her was a great step towards utter doom.

Yes, it could have ended far more unpleasant, however as soon as Joohyun sat down on the unfamiliar chair and grabbed her school equipment out of her bag, her own nagging voice could not stop criticizing her for every little mistake she had made.

Too much of a monotone voice, not standing straight enough, lack of facial expressions, her body language generally.

She wanted to make a good first impression, but instead just came off as unapproachable and y, the good old routine. Why couldn’t she get to be the person that she desired to be instead of all of this she continuously displayed?

Take it easy Joohyun, today is a long day. You have more chances to redeem yourself and start anew. Don’t judge a book by its cover, right?

She blew it.

There had been some perfect chances. During the breaks, some girls had tried to approach her, however Joohyun had kept her distant and they felt it.

Internally she was screaming to stop. Regardless of that, Joohyun could not help but automatically behave herself as she had been doing for several, lengthy years. She was torn between fighting the urge or let herself slip in this somehow comfortable habit.

There had been a few moments when she tried convincing herself to put her fears aside and to approach someone, but never carrying out the task. Drawing a line between pessimism and realism was something she had great difficulty with and maybe one of her biggest struggles.

Joohyun had often reflected about balance in life, but all she was left with in the end was a headache and an increasing heartrate, screaming only to be greeted with silence and no answers.

The rest of the day was spent writing down notes during classes, observing her classmates and having lonely breaks, since her breaks did not overlap with Seulgi’s.

Joohyun continuously wondered what people thought of her, and it did not come to a halt. Her self-consciousness grew by the second and it felt as if she was drowning in a sea of discomfort.

The bell resounded through the empty hallways, which were shortly after filled with chatter, and all sorts of students that you would find on a daily basis: cheerful as well gloomy, loud and quiet, the ones who were surrounded by friends, the ones who were accompanied by one other person and the ones who walked through the corridor by themselves. Joohyun belonged to the last type.

10 minutes before her last class had ended, she had received a message from Seulgi.

From Seulgibear:

Pls wait for me after school, need to pick something up at the library real quick! Xx

Joohyun sat down on a dark brown, wooden bench near the gate.

Even though it was very cold outside, she did not want to wait in the hallway, surrounded by other people. Besides, the cool wind gave her a sort of refreshing feeling and she always