It's weird, time flew by so fast, it was already the end of freshman year. Even so, it felt good. At least that's what I thought. Jinyoung and I have practically spent the remaining semester together. I was extremely happy, grateful even but...I just felt something wrong, Jinyoung looks at me differently, and he's much more quiet. I've lost weight for sure, but I'm not thin in the slightest either. I wonder what he's thinking, I don't care to ask, maybe it isn't right for me too do so. I just don't want him to feel uncomfortable, I'd be hurt if I was the reason he was acting differently. He's a friend, one that I really don't want to lose. 

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The bar was loud, many college students were here to celebrate the end of the semester. Some graduating, some in the middle, other's story just beginning. Jinyoung sat with his friends lost in the scenery outside. His thoughts of him had grown much more intimate, and he was trying as hard as possible to hold back. Jaebum had noticed the other's quietness as well, and it was unusual. Even if he wasn't the life of the party he'd at least throw in some sarcasm to sound sophisticated. But he wasn't in the slightest interested. "Cheers to completing our freshman year!" Jackson was drunk. Jaebum chewed on a squid, "We're not done yet, finals remember?" Jackson groaned slamming his cup down. "Can you not be such a party pooper!" Youngjae laughed at the bickering. "Youngjae can you please take this drunk back to the dorms?" He held up his thumbs in happiness. After twenty minutes of struggling they finally left the two alone. 

Jaebum poured a glass for himself. "What's up?" Jinyoung didn't answer. "Fine, don't speak, I'll just eat the remaining..." He gripped his hand before he got to the meat, "Jaebum stop~" The older chuckled. "What's going on with you?" Jinyoung swirled his cup of alcohol. "...honestly I don't know myself." Jaebum nodded. "It's about Mark isn't it...?" The other looked up, a small smile appearing. "Is it that obvious?" The older nodded again. Jinyoung took a sip of his drink. "Jaebum...I'm completely insane right now..." Jaebum never knew that he was gay and frankly he didn't want to come out to him, he was nowhere near a homophobe, but...it's not like he liked it either. But he kinda felt that Jaebum always knew, he just never cared to say anything about it. "It's okay to talk about your feelings. I'm not here to judge you." If Jinyoung wasn't so stressed he'd probably cry right now, Jaebum was always that chill dude who didn't care about your past he'd simply take you as you are for the now. 

Jinyoung looked down at the clear drink. "I can't stop thinking about him...my mind could be elsewhere and yet the first thing that leaves my lips is him, I feel something for him that seems so unbearable. When I'm alone with him I can't help but think...it's so embarrassing..." Jaebum listened quietly. "I don't know if he likes me the same, I don't know if he feels anything the way I do. He doesn't show signs, and I don't want to ruin our friendship, I don't even want to tell him how I feel if it means losing him entirely." Jaebum leaned back in his chair. "Jinyoung you should tell him. It'll hurt more keeping what you feel trapped inside, however it ends you should just tell him." Jinyoung shook his head holding his forehead in the palm of his hands. "Jaebum...I think I'm in love with him, it'll hurt more to see him leave."

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"Can you believe we've made it!"

"Just a few months left!"

"Aww, I'm going to mess you as my roommate..."

I passed the endless conversations about the end of the year, it didn't even occur to me how things may end up next year. Jinyoung might not be my roommate, not that he wants to anyways. He's been avoiding me at all cost and I don't understand why? We'd gotten closer just to move ten steps back. I sat on an empty bench alone, I've been doing so good with this weight t