I tapped my foot anxiously waiting. The bell was just about to ring, and thank god we had break because the overwhelming thought of failing exams were already giving me stress cramps. Women aren't the only ones who die every month, at least that was my thought. As a confusing and complex teenager, that's how I felt around him. My best friend I mean. I've known him all my life, spending the good and the bad, actually I knew him longer than I've known JB and Jackson and that's practically elementary school to now for us. But he was there from the beginning, diapers and all...haha, I couldn't have imagine losing him that way, I loved him, and so easily I lost him. From stupid decisions to stupid incisions, we were causing each other pain, simply form the honesty we kept bottled up in our dysfunctional brains. 

I said goodbye to him when he left... wrist and blood splattered photography, a real horror show. It wasn't a joke, rather a poke into the reality that I neglected to watch, relentless to listen, emotionless to understand. His name was Sijung, and I lost him to suicide, he's beyond the void, the land we never told. That place I'd surely met him again. That was our promise. 

—————————————————————————————————————————————

"How many stars in your section?"

"None."

"Really, not even one?"

"Nope, what about you?"

"Same." We dropped our binoculars, sighing at the disappointment in the clear night sky. Again no stars tonight. But still I felt like smiling because I was next to him. My best friend. Sijung picked his nose in the mist of the night, and I kicked him as we walked back. "You're absolutely disgusting." He laughed and wiggled his grossly sickening finger in my face. "Wanna taste? My boogers probably taste like the best thing on the planet!" I chuckled, "Yeah right." It grew stale with silence as we walked from the park. 

"Still hanging around Taejoon?" I bit my lip, I wanted to avoid being apart of this conversation. "Does it matter?" Sijung stopped. "I could careless, but Jinyoung he's a ing bully! Does he even know you're..." I covered his month, muffling his words. If I'm...yes I'm 1oo% gay, well gay for the boy that I'm covering my hand with. He knows, not of my feelings, but of my orientation, he's the only one I could ever tell. He bit my hand and I squeaked in pain. "Yo!" Sijung stared at me angrily, "I can't believe you, I seriously can't! Jaebum and Jackson maybe, but you're the sensible one!" I grinned shyly, and he stomped past me, "Don't be mad, Sijung!" He huffed. "I'll see you tomorrow at school." I smiled. "I'm going to call you." The other stopped in his footsteps. "I'm not going to pick up!" I shook my head, "I won't be able to sleep without hearing your voice." The other winced, like the thought of me not sleeping would be on his conscience forever. Sijung, was so undeniably sweet, despite his seriousness, he cared for the wellbeing of everyone else, and it's not lik