It was pouring, storming even. We were arguing, our yells booming louder than the thunder that erupted through the sky, or the lightening flashes that shattered the earth. The wet concrete against our soak shoes. I didn’t want to remember what happened a few hours later...it was my fault. If I hadn’t said those things...why couldn’t I notice the signs, if he was struggling mentally why didn’t he say anything!? Why? Why, damnit!? 

I sprung up sweat drenching my face. The last thing I could recall was being with Minjoon, but at the moment, I’m somewhere else...

I heard footsteps. 

“He has a fever! How long were you out in the rain!?” Sijung...that’s Sijung’s voice! I tried to move, but I seemed to be stuck in this position. I watched him bring a basin full of warm water. He was always so kind, treating people just like his older brother. If only I could touch you one more time, if only I could apologize...

The place started to fade...where am I to go now. 

“Jinyoung?” Where are you Sijung, take me with you! Take me to heaven with you! I’m so sorry! It’s so dark, so cold...I’m trying so hard to repent but...I just can’t do it anymore.

“Jinyoung!?” Please...kill me, take me away do what you will, I give—!

“JINYOUNG!” My eyes struck open, I was crying. Mark was next to me, feeling every inch of my forehead. He reminds me so much of him...but Mark is, and never will be Sijung. He couldn’t be. “W-Where am I?” Mark smiled. “Dormitory, a guy by the name of Minjoon brought you here. You started burning up soon after. I can tell you had a nightmare.” He brushed my tears away with his thumb. 

I chuckled sadly. “Is it that obvious?” Mark frowned. “Do you want to talk about it?” I shifted over to him. “Do you want to listen?” The other smiled. “Always.”

I gripped his hand tightly. “I had a friend...” A very close friend indeed, from diapers and all we knew almost everything about each other. He was my very first friend and those are always the special ones, I could tell him anything even my deepest and darkest secrets. He who never judge accepted me for who I was, but alas maybe I was too selfish. Joining a gang because of my insecurities, being a bully for my cowardliness, and yet he still managed to not