I stare blankly at the ceiling. I am really dizzy now. 

Beside me, there is Jae. He sits quietly while reading his novel. 

I am so hella tired. And... I think my heart is going to stop beating,

I feel like dying now. 

It's even hurt more than mom and dad divorce. 

Is it over for me now?

I won't have any chance more right. 

Young K and my sister are going to get married... Maybe tomorrow, or 1 month or 3 months later. 

So how about me? What should I do?

While thinking of that, I start to sobs again. 

I can't bear to see them standing while holding hand at the altar later.

What should I do?

"Hanbyul ahh... Are you okay?" Jae asked me. He sounds so worried. 

I can't even answer his question.

I can't say I am okay anymore. 

I am not okay. I am really in pain now. 

I touch my chest. It feels like someone just stab my heart. 

I don't know how many times I cry that night. 

How can I live with this pain?

I keep hearing my phone rings. But I don't want to look at it. 

I am scared... I am afraid that it is Young K who calls me. 

I can't sleep or eat well. Every time I eat, I will throw up. 

It feels like the system in my body already wrecks. It can't function well.

It's already 3 days I spend my night at Jae's. 

He is so worried and because of me he also can sleep well. 

I feel sorry for him but I can't help it. 

The only things that I do sitting and crying. 

My eyes hurt and so does my heart. 

My heart doesn't act like the way I want to. 

How can I stop this pain? 

Again, I hear my phone rings. But I don't have that energy to even stand up. 

I see Jae running to pick up the call.

"Byul ahh... It is from your mom. She says she will come back in 3 days." Jae said and sits beside me. 

I just nod my head and give him a f