When you love someone ~

I sit at the corner of the cafe that I like to visit. This 2017 is really a harsh year for me. 

I drink my hot latte while looking at people that pass by the cafe. On the table, there are some documents, my camera and also my laptop.

For the whole week after I left the hospital, I stay at Minkyung house. 

Before mom goes for business, she visits me, asking about my condition. 

Physically, I am okay. I can eat properly now without having any problem. 

I try to accept the reality that Young K will never love me... And maybe, the pain that I feel flatten a bit...

I hope so...

Jae has been trying to contact me... But I try to avoid him for a while. 

He is too kind and it makes me feel sorry for him... I don't want to become a burden for him. 

I will leave to Paris next week and will start a new life there. 

Just thinking about leaving here actually make my heart shrink. 

I will now leave my friend, my family and the one that I love with all my heart. I will go far away from them. 

I am scared that they will forget about me... Forget about our memories... 

But if I don't leave... I don't think I can survive this continuous pain. 

I will always feel this pain...

Suddenly, people start running to find a shade.

And it starts to rain... 

I don't know but after what happened before, I don't hurt rain anymore. 

Every time when the rain falls, I take a deep breathe trying to enjoy it.

*DRRR*... I open my eyes and take my laptop. 

There is a notification in my email and I open it.

It is from Jae... 

He sent me the video from their performance. 

From: Jae

To: Hanbyul

Message:

To my one and only star... Hanbyul.

I am very worried, actually...

But... I know you are a strong girl so I will believe that you are okay^^

By the way, as I promise... I sing the song that the lyrics are written by you last week and everyone like it. 

I attached the video performance here and I hope you will watch it. 

I want to wish you luck with your studies in Paris. 

Minkyung told me last night that you will go tomorrow.

I am a little upset because you didn't tell me about it but it is okay

When things get hard or you have problems... Remember... I am always here, just call me.

I hope you will meet many good friends there and... I hope you can forget about him.

It won't be easy, I know... 

Take a good care and...

I will miss you...

Tears start to fall when I read his message. 

He is the best friend that I ever had. 

I open the video and watch their performance. 

They shine the brightest when that they are together. They are the coolest person in the entire world when they perform. They are them when they do music. 

At least, he is okay... He doesn't look sad and hurt. 

As long as he is happy... I will be happy.

As long as he is smiling, I will try to smile too even though it is hurt...

That is because I love him...

I will smile for him... I will smile even though it is hurt... Because when you love someone, seeing them happy is the most beautiful things that you can see.

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It has been 3 years since I left Korea and now I am in Paris. 

Standing in front of the Eiffel Tower, enjoying the night view and the lights. 

With camera in hanging around my neck.

They are so many couples here and I feel happy when I see them. 

I take a few random pictures and decides to go back to my apartment because the cold starts to attack me.

I enter my apartment and go straight to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. 

I am a little bit busy nowadays because of my upcoming project. 

My room is full of painting, some brushes are scattered around the table, sofa and floor. 

I am into the oil painting for the past 2 years. I love drawing and it helps me to relax my mind. 

I plan to display some of my oil painting and my photograph for the upcoming project.

All of my collection will be display at the art gallery in Paris. 

It will be my beginning of my career as an artist. 

The local and international news will come to the exhibition. 

I never know that coming to Paris will change my life. 

Everyone in the University knows who I am because, on the first year, I won 3 awards for my photography and make it into local newspaper. 

I also have a workshop every Sunday for photography and I have some artist friends here. 

It is not the same life as I had in Korea... I... kinda miss Korea, a lot. 

It is nice here but... it doesn't feel like home. 

I do some cleaning and I realises something after I clean up. 

My apartment is nice but it doesn't as cosy as my own home. 

My friends come sometimes and we are having a good talk and laugh...

But it doesn't feel the same when I am with them...

I miss them a lot. 

I sit on the sofa with a beer in my hand. 

From what I know, Day6 is very popular in Korea now.

They even got invited to some offline and online radio show to perform. 

I am proud of them. 

Last 3 days, someone calls me with a private number and when I answer it, it is from Saebyul.

I can't speak... I don't know why...

I already forgive her for everything... But there is still remaining wound that hasn't healed. 

And it has been 3 years since I conta