When you love someone ~

I can't hold it anymore.

After I heard what Saebyul said... I really can't hold it anymore. 

I blurt it out... and I don't care about everything now. 

I don't care if she hates me or whatever... 

I just... I just can't hold it anymore. 

"Until when you want me to always give up for you? I always give everything to you... That day, when dad is going to Canada, I know you beg dad for him to take you because you don't want to live here... Because you think you will have a good life if you stay with dad. I don't say anything... I let you be the one who goes to Canada. What again? When we were young, mom and dad bought me new toys... And that is the first time I got it but what? You threw tantrum to mom saying that she only love you but you never think... I always play with your old toys... When you dated Hangyeol... I was the one who informed you that he is not a good guy... But what??? You said I am jealous of you because you had a boyfriend before me. I always remind you but you never want to hear me..." I said with a trembling mouth. 

"You think I don't know that actually, you put Nana into an adoption list?? You feel annoyed with it... You always let her sleep outside even though sometimes it's raining... I try to be patient with your behaviour... Always... Again... You do things that make me disappointed again... On my 17th birthday party... I beg you for a week for not bringing Hangyeol... But you insist... See what happened? You make a scene and almost ruined my first ever birthday party... And how stupid I am for asking Young K to comfort you... I never know I will dig my own grave..."  I never said these much of words before.

It makes me dizzy. 

Then mom comes and tries to separate me from Saebyul. 

"Hanbyul ahh... Stop it okay... You are still..." Before mom finished her words, I cut her off. 

I look at my mom with teary eyes and she also looks at me surprised. 

"Why!? Why should stop? She also doesn't know when she should stop. Why am I the one who always... Always stop?" I asked and I feel suffocated.

"I even wear the red wine dress that she gives to me... (sobbing). I really hate that dress... That dress is the dress that Hangyeol give to her but she asked me to wear it... I know everything... But because she is my sister, I stop... I don't ask her anything." I said it out because of the anger. 

Saebyul and my mom look surprised. 

Jae and Young K also look at Saebyul.

"Woah, this noona is really something," Jae said and he looks really angry. 

"Is that why Hangyeol comes to our school?" Jae asked me with a furious tone. 

"Ya, you know that Ha