"Byul ahh..." I heard someone calling me. 

That voice... How can I face him? 

I am not in the right mind now. 

"Ya... Just let her be." I heard Jae said that to Young K.

It is the first time Jae sound so angry. 

He is the brightest in the group and I never see him angry before. 

I am afraid right now. He really sounds so angry. 

"I... I just want to talk to her." Young K said. But I am not ready to talk to you. 

I am still not ready to face you. 

I keep remembering thing scene that I saw in front of the house. 

"Kids, let's have dinner." Mom calls all of us. 

Why there must be a dinner tonight? 

I try to hold my tears. 

"You heard that right? Time for dinner." Jae said with an annoyed tone. 

"Byul ahh... Can you talk to me after dinner?" Young K asked me but then I hear Saebyul's voice asking him to come down. 

I heard the footsteps that faded away. He already goes down. 

Jae grabs my blanket and tosses it. 

"Byul ahh... You need to be yourself. Don't show your weak self. This... This just doesn't look like you." Jae said while looking at me. Exactly on my eyes. 

"So how should I look like? Smiling? Laughing? Giving them a congratulation hugs?" I asked Jae with shaking voice.

I also hate myself now. What can I do? 

I am dying... Does anyone even know that?

"Until when you are going to cry like this? Until when you... you are going to keep your feeling?" Jae asked. This time, he looks worried. 

"Do you think I also want to be like this? I cry not because I want to. I cry because I can't take it anymore. My heart hurt like hell. I can't even feel anything except pain now. What do you want me to do? Confessing my feeling to him? After I saw him purpose to my sister?" I asked him raising my voice a little.

I can't hold it anymore. I burst out crying again. 

Jae hugs me tight. This is the first time I raise my voice