Ella was due to land later that day, and Alex knew she had to deal with her awful, Chanyeol – Junmyeon – her love triangle.  Ella wasn’t going to be happy with her, though she would support her, Ella had a way of making reality come crashing down that left Alex wanting to find her own way back on the ground first. 

She had spent all evening thinking about what she wanted.  She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but she was not the kind of person to settle into something just because it was there either.  She had learned from her life not to just go with the flow if something didn’t feel right.  She had come to the conclusion when she woke up that morning, that she needed to detangle herself from both men, as much as possible, start over in some way, and just be friends with them, like she was friends with Baekhyun.

Not wanting to delay any further, she made her way down to the end of the hall towards Junmyeons apartment.  She pressed the button and waited, anxiously tapping her foot for him to answer. 

When the door swung open and she looked up, expecting to see Junmyeons face, she was confronted with the tall figure of Sehun. 

‘Hey,’ he said, folding his arms over his chest, ‘Can I help you?’ he looked down at her, slightly confused.

‘Hey,’ she mimicked, not expecting to see him. ‘Er, is Junmyeon there?’ she asked him shyly.

‘Sure,’ he took a half step back to let her into the apartment.  It was very similar to her own, light, and laid out in much the same way, but it was far, far messier than her own.

‘Hyung,’ Sehun shouted into the apartment, watching her closely.  She hung back adjacent to the door, it felt strange finally being invited into one of there apartments.

‘Yah!’ She heard Junmyeon shout back from a distant room.

‘There’s someone here for you,’ Sehun told him still looking at Alex with a confused expression.

‘I’m Alex,’ she told him since she had never met Sehun before.

‘Noona says she’s Alex,’ Sehun shouted over his shoulder with a smirk back at her. 

‘What?’ Junmyeon came into view in the living room, wearing only black gym shorts.  Alex had to swallow hard and keep her mind on what she was about to say, not on how his chest rippled.

‘Alex!  What’s up,’ Junmyeons face broke into a huge smile, making her feel terrible.

‘I – er – can I talk to you?’ she asked him, a little uncomfortably, hoping Sehun would get the hint.

‘Yeah, come in,’ Junmyeon stepped closer to her, reaching out for her hand, and directing her onto the sofa, moving piles of clothes to make a space for her.  ‘Sorry, we haven’t cleaned up yet.’ He told her.

‘Its ok,’ she said quietly, feeling Sehun still staring at her from the door. 

Junmyeon turned to look at him, obviously conveying with his eyes for Sehun to leave. 

‘Ok, I’m going out anyway.  Nice to meet you Alex.’ Sehun told her as he made a hasty exit.

‘Bye Sehun,’ she called after him, as he poked a hand waving through the closing door.

‘Sorry, he got back two days ago, and after his suitcases exploded he’s just been sleeping.’ Junmyeon apologised sitting down next to her.

‘That’s – erm – that’s ok.’ She wasn’t sure what to say to him.

‘Do you want a drink?  Coffee or something?’ Junmyeon began to get up to the kitchen.

‘No,’ she pulled on his arm, to get him to stay still. ‘No, I’m fine,’ she forced a smile.

‘Ok, so what do you want to talk about?’ he asked, his twinkling eyes focusing on her as he leaned forward into her space eagerly.  She wished he would put on a shirt or something, that chest was just downright disruptive. 

She forced her eyes to his, she had to just come out with it.  Like a band-aid. 

‘I-um- I’ she began, faltering already, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and swallowed hard. ‘Ok, so I want to be honest.’ She found her voice, opening her eyes to focus on him.

‘Ok,’ he said brightly.

‘Ok, ok, ok,’ she repeated, ‘Ok, so something, - something happened, when I was with – Chanyeol,’ she spoke slowly, each word seemed out of her grasp.

‘Oh-kay’ he said slowly, his face dropping a small amount.

‘I don’t know – I mean, I’m not sure how, but, after the shoot, - we were, - we had food, and then, - then,’ She had to repeat almost every word as she spoke taking an age to get it out. ‘And then, he was – we were, kissing,’ she finished, ashamed as the words fell out.

‘Oh,’ Junmyeon sighed slowly. He shifted back a tiny fraction, his eyes dropping to the floor.  ‘Oh.’ He repeated.

‘I – I don’t have any excuse- I don’t really understand what happened.’ She told him, trying to explain. ‘I don’t really know what you and I are doing, but I wanted to tell you the truth.  You deserve that.’

His face was now in his hands, the pads of his fingers rubbing together in front of him. 

‘Did you – I mean, was there – more,’ he asked quietly.

‘No!’ she practically yelled at him, causing his body to twist to face her again.  His eyes had lost their sparkle, and she died a little inside.

‘I – we kissed, and then my brain started working, and I stopped it.’ She mumbled feeling tiny, scratching at her nails with her opposing hand.

‘Oh,’ he repeated. ‘So, you-you didn’t want -?’ he asked not making sense.

She sighed if she thought the hard bit was telling him about the kiss she was wrong.

‘I don’t know what I want.’ She whispered, wishing she had the answers for him.  ‘I’ve had a, a crazy year, relationship wise.  I wasn’t looking to get into something so soon.  But then here you are, perfect abs and chiseled jaw, and you’re the perfect gentleman.  And then there’s-‘ she swallowed again, ‘then there’s Chanyeol, and I don’t know – what I feel – it’s all very confusing.  I just, I don’t want to hurt anyone here.’

There was perfect silence in the room that stretched on for a lifetime as Junmyeon took in her words.

‘It’s ok Alex,’ Junmyeons back rose and fell with his exhale.  He turned to face her fully.  The sadness in his eyes was still there, but he smiled, slightly.  ‘We had one date.  We weren’t – you know we weren’t – officially -.  You shouldn’t feel guilty.’ He told her kindly. 

She smiled back, feeling sad that he was so, forgiving.  ‘I just, I don’t want to mess with anyone.  I don’t want to come between friends.  And I think – I think I just want to be friends with everyone, for a while, until, I figure out-‘ turned down sadly.  She felt the unreasonable burn in her eyes and prayed she wouldn’t cry. 

‘It’s ok. Hey-.’ His voice was filled with too much compassion for Alex to handle right now.  His arm circled her shoulders pulling her in close to him, as she began to lose it. 

‘Oh god,’ she cried, ‘why are you so kind to me?’

He sighed again, with a bit of a chuckle at the end, ‘I told you, I’m kind to everyone.’ 

‘I’m just – god – I’m sorry, I don’t like, keeping things from people.  I can’t do that.  And I like you, I like you a lot I just -,’ She began rambling.

‘Shh, it’s ok.  You just need some time to work things out.  It’s fine.  I like you too.’ He held her closer to him. 

‘I’m sorry,’ she breathed, breaking their silence as she managed to take control of herself.

‘You don’t have to be sorry.  But, thank you, for your honesty.’ He told her in a whisper.

‘Can we still – are we still – friends?’ she asked, insecure if she earned it.

‘Of course, we are,’ he told her as she leaned out of his grasp to face him.  He was wearing a big smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, the crinkle in the corners was gone, she had a suspicion he was wearing the smile for her benefit.

He rubbed her shoulders for a while in silence.  She didn’t want to leave things jus