I am driving one of my car going to the school, but today, it's not the same like yesterday where I'm the only one inside for Yam is also going with me. I'm quite happy knowing that Yam called me awhile ago that she's coming with me to school but still sad because she called me because Mike is busy.

I hesitated at first because I still feel awkward but maybe my masochistic tendency suddenly kick in making me agree and even tried hard to look good. Even looking at the mirror inside my car from time to time just to be satisfied about my looks and fix my already 999 times fixed hair.

I stopped around the corner of Aunt's Villa, mother of Yam. Checking the time, it is still early I sighed, I feel nervous. I check my reflection on the mirror again to see if my hair got messy or my face got something , even checking my teeth. I inhaled and exhaled a few hundred times, maybe, before going to the gate to rang the doorbell at the side of the gate.

Their house is big but compared to our house... never mind. They also have a garden around their house and some big trees but can be counted by hands. It's been years since I went here. Remembering the times where I went to sleep over when Yam's parents are away with my mom to have a meeting outside the country, I'm embarrassed when Yam and I shared the same bed but now I feel guilty about it, feeling like I'm a fox in a sheep clothes thinking about something when the person herself thinks that your a close friend .

There are even times when I go here just to see her with an excuse "i'm bored" just to be with her. I even have the key to their house, that's why when I know that she's here, I enter without permission but now. I reduce to this state where I'm even nervous about ringing the doorbell. Sigh I wonder if her parents will recognize me, will they feel disgusted when they know?

I gather my courage to ring the bell but when I'm about to , my mouth twitched when I heard her voice beside me.

"what are you still doing ?" Yam said and I look beside me and saw that she's already at my side looking at me weirdly. I want to hide my whole being now, I feel embarrass but still answered without losing my composure "I'm just thinking how beautiful the wall is" I bullted. who would confess that I'm daydreaming and didn't notice that she's already here.

"let's go" I added because it hurts to be look at like I'm some weird existence , I quickly open the passenger seat but feel awkward when she went to the backseat instead. Hearing the door close , I dejectedly entered at the passenger seat and crawled to the driver's seat for me not to lose face.

I started the engine and instinctively look at the rear view mirror to check only Yam was looking outside the window. I sighed again thinking that I really shouldn't have gone to fetch her here. I drove and accelerated from time to time, thinking that I'll be at school fast because I think every second my heart is turning cold , making the atmosphere drop every moment. I even thought that she's already okay with me and even told me that she wanted to talk but , what is this ? I felt like I'm being used as a driver because Mike isn't here, but isn't this partly my fault?

I accelerated again even when there's a car in front and just go passed them like some kind of a car racing. I promised myself to really let go of this feelings I harbored now.

- - -

"Aunt .. can I borrow some money for my tuition fee?" I asked as I look at my Aunt Min with a sad face and looking at Aunt with shock as she said "didn't your mother already gave the both of you your tuition fees ? how come it's gone? Did you lose it?" .I averted my eyes not to look at my Aunt's questioning gaze and thought, how I wish it will be snatched or got lost but not be taken by my sister when we are sleeping..

"Did your sister took it?" Aunt added when I still didn't answer she sighed and said "I'm sorry Pie, you know that I also payed Zee's tuition fee , electricity , water , gas ,etc. and also bought ingredients yesterday, If I knew your sister took the money again , I shouldn't have paid Zee's tuition in full"

"It's okay Aunt , I'm just trying my luck" I smiled and saw that Aunt Min are looking at me apologetically . We're basically happy when my mother is here but now that she's gone to work, my sister who have been grounded not to go outside , like a bird that been freed , gone again with the money in hand.

"how about I call your mom ? " Aunt Min said ad remembering that my mom's boss is rather kind she added "your mother's boss is good and i think your mother can take an advance salary from them to pay your tuition"

"it's okay Aunt, don't bother my mother about it, It'll just make her worry about us"

"Is that okay with you ?"

"yes... thanks Aunt, I'll just think about something" I answered while I planned to look for a job where I can get an advance payment without too many requirements..

- - -

I stayed at the cafeteria for not doing nothing at all at the school. Even the teacher assig