Chapter XVI - Brutally Honest, Confessions

Berry kisses between french fry bites and soda pop sips. Being brilliant disasters as we watched the rest of the sunset by the metropolitan bay, eating cheap fast food while leaning against my ridiculously exspensive car, and trying to enjoy the time we had left before saying mournful goodbyes. We laughed, talking nonsense and playing cat-and-mouse with our fingers. Picturesque or photogenic, either way we became a romantic comedy cliche.

God, we’re terrible.

But that's okay. These moments were precious to me.

Time lost all sense of flow as I watched her.

Watching her be a goofball, the weirdo.

Watching her be a clown, the court jester.

Watching her... be so beautiful to me.

She was just so ing beautiful to me.

Even when I saw the cracks in the mask.

Even when I saw her hesitate.

Second guess.

Momentarily pause.

Before reacting to me.

I wish I was able to continue lying to you in these moments. To continue going off on these games I play, all for the world to see so that I could live my life in peace.

But that wasn't going to last forever with her next to me.

Sorry, I didn’t tell you before. I was trying to hide how much it hurt me every time I saw the hints.

The world can be quite cruel to the brilliant…

Why am I like this? Why am I so observant? Couldn’t I just lived my life in ignorance and fall for her like a normal person? Why do my eyes see how hard she is trying…?

Why can’t I stop seeing myself in her broken gaze?

It’s funny.

SinB would have you believe that I was the biggest sadist in the world. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. People like me hurt more than we like to let on. Feigning confidence for apprehension, happiness for melancholy. Bearing scars, bleeding eternally with every word I speak.

A liar.

A lying walking on shattered glass, who’s gone too far to retrace her steps.

It’s laughable really.

And you want to know the worst part about it? The worst part of my existence?

It’s just how much I’m addicted to it.

Just how much I enjoy the misery.

And misery sure loves company.

“You know I have to get you back home eventually, right? Eunbi might get worried.” I mentioned her, just to be considerate. Like I was actually paying attention. “And you have class tomorrow morning.”

“You say that like you aren’t going.” Yuna wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into her embrace, reaching out to find some comfort in my soft body.

“I’m not. I have a couple of things I need to do…” I gave her a sly smirk. “Also, I lied to my teacher that my mom was sick in the hospital and had to take care of her. So he excused me for another day or two. Have to keep up appearances and what not.”

“You’re kind of incredible, you know that?” She didn’t disapprove of my antics. Almost like she half expected it.

“Glad you think so. But you’re the only other person that knows the truth and I’d appreciate it if no one else found out.”

“Not even SinB knows?”

“Nope~!” I shook my head. “That’s the really interesting thing, isn’t it? I can lie to SinB. I can lie to Sowon unnie. I can lie to every passer byer and unimportant stranger in that damned university. But... not you…”

The muscles in Yuna’s face relaxed, letting the words sink in a bit. It was like someone pressed pause on that movie quality face. I kissed her once more, breaking her from her mesmerized state and bringing her back to reality.

“Hehe. That was payback for this morning, you jerk. How dare you make my heart skip a beat.”

“I wasn’t aware I had such an affect on you,” she laughed, letting my forehead rest against hers.

“Never stop, my dear,” smiling and tracing her jawline and chin with my careful fingers. I loved teasing her like this. “But now isn’t the time for that. I want to show you something before I bring you home.”

I drove us through the streets of the metropolis, speeding along as we watched the sprawling silhouetted towers and the bouncing nightlife, until finally reaching a large business park that spread about three or four blocks.

“Do you know what my parents do for a living?” I asked.

“I don’t,” Yuna answered as she looked around. “Do they work around here?”

“Not exactly.” I’d put up the top since it had gotten cold but I put it down one last time to emphasize a point. “But you see that building over there?”

I pointed to one of the shortest buildings in the business park, one that rose about twenty or so stories high.

“Yeah?”

“And that one?”

This time to another behind us, a taller one that happened to be a hospital. Yuna got out of her seat and peaked over the rear of my car.

“Uh-huh…?”

“Actually…” I took another pause, trying to find them all. “Sorry, its a little hard in the dark but I think those three over there as well as that pointy one over there. Yeah, I think those are some of them.”

“Some of what?”

“Property my family owns.”

“...”

“...”

“...Wait, what!?”

“Hehehe~!” I giggled, enjoying her exaggerated reaction. “Yeah, I don’t fully understand it but my folks work in property construction and real estate or something. It’s like normal real estate. Just…” And I took another look around, seeing if I’d missed one. “Just on a much grander scale…”

Yeah… There was no way getting around the fact.

My family was rich.

I never liked having to flash my name for anything but this was one of those things I had to share with Yuna. it always just bogged me down with useless conversations and fake as smiles.

They think I’m beyond them. They think I sit upon my ivory tower, sipping on wine and wearing my monocle and top hat while playing with the lives of pions that grovel on my feet. I mean, I don’t mind the power, I just hate it being attached to my name than my actual ability.

It’s not even something for myself.

“Currently, they are in Japan. Partly on vacation, partly on business,” I continued. “They rent out buildings like this to companies all over the world. Japan, obviously. But also New York, San Francisco, Madrid, London, all over the place. Hell, even Jessica unnie’s office is one of theirs. Though we give her a bit of a discount since she’s family. Hehe~!”

“Wow… That explains a lot…” Yuna looked around, mesmerized. “I mean, I was kinda curious but I didn’t want to be rude and ask. The house… The car…”

I looked down at the beautiful vehicle.

“This thing is probably a percentile of a commission check they got over the summer, if I had to hazard a guess.”

Yuna feel deeper into thought, probably trying to estimate the amount of said commission check but quickly gave up as the numbers got too big.

“This isn’t a measuring contest, Yuna,” I interrupted her thoughts. “I’m not trying to show off or anything… Even though I’m well aware that that is exactly something I would do. Regardless…” I got back into the driver’s seat and signaled her to sit down as well, closing the convertible top. “...I just didn’t want to hide anything from you. Because it’s you...”

Laying bait between the lines of pretty truths. Truths I never share but found myself revealing to this broken beauty anyway.

Yuna was quietly thinking to herself before she spoke.

“What would… they think of me…? What would they… ex-ex-ex-pect… of someone who dates you...?”

Oh.

Did you see that?

I did. Of course I did. This was me we were talking about here.

And it tore me apart how much it hurt her to say it, to even think it.

What hurt you, Yuna? Who hurt you?

“What would they expect of you?” I repeated the question, emphasizing the point. “Yuna, this isn’t some late night drama on TV. I’m not going to get disowned or lose my inheritance if I choose someone who isn’t rich or not born into nobility. And, do you honestly think so little of yourself that you would even question it?”

“I… I know… But-!”

“But nothing! My parents are normal human beings, you know? Also, I probably don’t even have an inheritance to begin with. We donate so much money to that hospital and- well. Other crap.”

“Isn’t that what they always say though? How can you be sure?”

“Simple. Because choosing you would be enough for them. As long as I was happy, that’s all that mattered,” I held her hand as I drove, pressing my lips on the back of it and smelling her sweet perfume and french fry smell. “It’s their way of closing the gap between us… Of closing the distance…”

A rush of emotion ran from my chest and up my spine, causing me to clench my jaw as the feelings entered my brain, processing the data, and spewing out pain.

She was the only thing keeping me sane at this point.

“Because they are gone all the time?” She was catching on.

“Yup, yup. Ever since I was a kid.”

“How… How often are your parents away?”

“Usually months, almost a year at times. They are never back for more than a week though.”

“So that means… You must be lonely in that big house…”

Yuna hugged my arm close to her body, letting my hand fall along her thigh. Automatically, my fingers started to rub against her skin, teasing her as I tried to calm down.

“This morning was the first time it happened to me in a long time. They used to happen all the time back in middle school, the night terrors. SinB knew about it but never understood what was causing it. Actually, my parents don’t even know. I knew it would solve the problem but… why spoil their fun? I thought to myself. I’d just be a burden on them if they knew. Let them enjoy themselves.”

I told you.

I can be quite self-destructive.

“Lying became a coping mechanism. Pretending I didn’t care helped. It’s also how I got into gaming funnily enough. Distracting my brain… with a different reality…” Yuna squeezed my arm, shuddering at the words as I continued. “And by the time high school rolled around, it was pretty much gone. And I became so good at lying that it became just my mode of everyday speech. My daily vernacular. Casual intonation.

“Until now…  Until I met this beautiful thing who I can’t lie to. A beauty making me powerless in her hands… That’s how much power you have over me, Yuna.   It would be so easy for you to kill me if you wanted. Not literally, of course, I mean figuratively. Just say the word… Just say you don’t like me… and boom…

“A fatal wound...”

That was it.

Exposing almost everything, making her fer feel a sense of ownership of my body.

Because she should know. Because I owed her that much.

Which is why my anxiety started to kick in as I parked the Porsche on a nearly empty street by the university, reminding myself that this wonderful day coming to an end. In some futile attempt to keep it going, I decided to walk her to the liberal arts dorm, walking around like some campus couple filled with melancholy.

“So there you have it…” I said. “My full confession. Laid out in such a way only you’re supposed to hear. You don’t need to respond, obviously.”

“Hehe!” she giggled. “I know…”

“I’m glad…”

“Yeah…”

“Right…”

“...”

“...”

Neither of us liked saying goodbyes…

“Um… Yerin unnie…?”

“Yes, dear?”

“When do… you think we will see each other again?”

“Soon.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay... Well, um… Good-!?”

I pressed my lips against hers, shutting her up with my own parting words.

Berry lip gloss and the taste of french fries.

God, we were a mess.

“I should go…” I said, but my lips fell into hers again, pulling me in and never releasing.

We wanted just another moment.

Just one last moment to never come.

Until it finally did.

She reluctantly unlocked the door, stepped inside, and closed the-

“Yerin unnie…?”

“Hahaha, yes?”

Through the crack in the ajar door, Yuna gave me a torn up smile. A smile filled with so much sadness behind it.

“You too.”

“Hmm?”

“The power you have over me… Yerin unnie… You too…”

And then she was gone.

Hmmmph.

Thank you, Yuna.

I’m glad to hear that…

Really…

Really, I am…

“Well, hello, hello, Queen Heiress! Were you just dropping off our young Golden Child late at night!? Ooooo~! The scandal!”

I’d been staring so intently at Yuna’s dorm suite that I had failed to notice the familiar person leaning against an open doorway and flashing a perfect smile.

A goddess of a woman, curves in all the right places, with wide eyes and puffy cheeks.

An heiress in her own right, walking the same circles I do, breathing the same air from our ivory towers.

She was an acquaintance of mine, if we were being delicate.

Or more than that, if we weren’t.

An old family friend.

And someone I used to meet up with… Maybe once or twice.

This is definitely one of those chapters that, while isn't mature, deals with a lot of interesting topics that many would consider problematic. Namely, parental issues. I hope no one was put off by it and find answers in the characterizations I've implemented. Especially with Yerin. 

This one got really long sorry. Especially with that ending. I cut it short there because it was getting ridiculous and I needed a break. Hope you don't mind!!!!

I'm sure people will know who this new girl is... The biggest clue is that last sentence really... Bwahahahaha~!

More interesting developments to come!

Also! Yay! I got this out for Yerin/Umji birthday!

Remember to love each other and don't forget to comment your thoughts! Let me know what you think!

Have good memories and nightmares!

- Sundavar427