Dream Love Concepts II - Reset Button - Words Better Left Unsaid (WonHa)

(Author's Notes: This is basically a whole chapter continuing from the last one, told from Sowon's POV. Enjoy~!)

Steady breaths.

Breaths to steady my nerves and even out the beats.

Heavy beats. Loud beats.

Pounding inside my chest hard, they strained my sanity. I was barely holding on to the little bit of happiness left inside me.

“How long have you known…?”

The question was almost like an airborne plague. It stuck in the space between Yerin and I but neither one of us wanted to face it.

In fact, I wanted to run away from it. And from her.

I could barely look at Yerin as she spoke.

So much understanding.

So much guilt.

An unwarranted apology was written on her face.

The right side of her lower lip protruded out a bit, pouting. Her eyes scanned me. She was planning her next words carefully, crafting some sort of scheme as the gears rotated in her head.

Yerin and I don't hang out much in school but I like her enough to consider her as a friend. A friend that's kind of necessary since she's useful despite her faults.

She's a genius.

She's a beauty.

She's a helpful person.

But she's so much more than that.

She's a liar.

She's facetious.

She's a habitual flirt.

And, as I expected, I got to see all of that in action last night.

But she's mostly harmless. To other people that is. She's only destroys herself. She would never harm a fly if she could help it.

Which is why I think I wanted Yerin’s help with Eunbi.

I saw this party as a chance to get to know Eunbi better.

To try and become more than just classmates that sang together.

To try to learn more about her.

To try and get us alone together… without Yuna being there…

“How long have you known?”

The words entered my brain, now more solid and rigid. Like an earworm lodging itself in my skull.

Maybe subconsciously, I had always known about Eunbi's feelings. But I guess I didn't want to accept the reality that hurt me the most.

So I lied to myself, thinking it would some way help. Maybe help me so that I could smile.

“Sorry, Sowon…”

“No…” I put on an unconvincing smile. A smile I knew she would see through as I felt my eyes glaze over. “Don’t be…”

As she let out a breath, the gears stopped spinning in her head. She has already decided what she was going to do. I braced for the impact. Trying to find a way to shield myself for what was about to come next.

“How long have you known… that Eunbi was in love with Yuna?”

Nope.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore...

No matter how much I prepared, I wasn't prepared for how much it hurt.

~~~

[Sowon’s Guest Room, Last Night]

~~~

“Here,” I gave Eunbi a half hearted smile, making eye-contact through the bathroom mirror since her back was facing me. “Should be easier to wash your face a bit…”

After relieving some of her bowel movements, with some difficulty I might add, Eunbi seemed to back to her normal, undrunken self…

Er. Sorta.

This short stuff, cutie pie tucked her head in as I finished tying her hair back, eyes drowsy from the over consumption of alcohol. Her lips turned into a pout and her double chin appeared as she whined.

“Euuunnnngh~!”

I held her face still, my hand on her soft cheeks. There was a medical reason for it all but mostly I was trying to calm my beating heart.

“If you move your head too much, you’re gonna get more sick

“Okie-dokie, unnie~! Wooo~!”

I stand corrected. She wasn’t back to her normal, undrunken self.

I shrugged and rolled up my sleeves. Seeing as she couldn't do this herself, I proceeded to help her wash up.

We must look like quite the sight right now. Me holding on to this drowsy girl for dear life as I scrubbed her cheeks and helped her blow her nose. All while still dressed up for this party.

“Maybe you should rest now...” I started, trying to figure out how this situation will work out. “Lay on the bed while I head down to grab some water, okay?”

Eunbi eyed me suspiciously, though she wasn't doing a very good job of focusing on me.

“Mmm… Sowon unnie is trying to get me into bed… BWAHAHAHA~!”

Sigh… This kid was already a handful when she's sober… Now that she was a bit tipsy, I had to make sure to keep a closer eye on her.

“That’s- That’s not what I meant!”

“I believe you, unnie… Kekekekeke~! Come back soon~!”

Eunbi proceeded to wobble over to the bed and slumped into it. She was asleep almost immediately.

Hmmm…

She was almost peaceful asleep.

I felt my cheeks redden at the thought.

Maybe I should wait a bit and watch her sleep? Hehe.

Ah, wait. That sleeping position won't do.

I walked over to her and rolled her to one side in case she vomited again. She mumbled small protests all the while.

“Mmmm…” Her honey filled voice could melt me if I let it. “Stop it… That tickles…

Her giggles were contagious. It took everything within me to hold in my own laughs.

She took another breath before exhaling the last word.

“Yuna…”

And I was back in reality.

Right…

They are roommates after all.

She probably just confused us for a second. Although now that I think about it, the Yuna I know wouldn’t bother waking Eunbi up. She’d more likely just let her over sleep than anything else.

The party was naturally coming to its inevitable close as I walked through the rest of the house. A couple of people were still around, though I had no idea where SinB and Umji were. The DJ was packing her things, letting a simple light playlist over take the noise.

“Yo, Sojungie~!” called a nasally voice from the kitchen.

It had that sort of distinct quality that I would recognise without looking. Especially since Yerin and I heard it a lot in some of our classes last year.

“Hey Jisoo. Oh, and Jennie too. Hey!” I waved my hand to the couple as I approached. The two seemed to have just been chatting as I got downstairs. “I told you I stopped calling myself that forever ago, right?”

“But you’re always going to be Sojungie to me~!” Jisoo smiled.

“You know how she is,” Jennie spoke with a cool, matter of fact tone. “Once she has a nickname for you, she can’t stop.”

“Yeah, I know.” I shrugged and started searching through the kitchen for a water bottle.

“So what's been shaking?” ask Jisoo. “Haven't seen you much tonight… which is saying something since you’re so tall.”

“Was outside mostly…” I responded as I gave up on looking for a water bottle and grabbed a glass from the cupboard. For someone who lives alone, Yerin sure does have a lot of dinnerware. “Watching over some younger classmates of mine.”

“Ah! Weird! Me too!”

Jisoo pointed outside to two girls sitting on a loveseat outside. I didn't recognize the shorter one but I think the shoulder length, black haired girl with the slim dancer’s body was named Mona or Mina or something like that. The two of them had their heads close together, laughing as they chatted and observed the night sky above them.

It was kind of weird watching a scene I wanted for me and Eunbi being played out by someone else…

“I’m so proud of my little penguin~! Mina-bon has been waiting like crazy for this night.” Jisoo smiled triumphantly.

Ah, so her name is Mina.

I looked at the two of them outside, then to the couple standing next to me, as I poured some water into the glass.

“Well, good luck to her then,” I raised my glass as if to give the girls my regards. “I got to go back upstairs. Got a sick one waiting for me.”

“Ahhh~! Sure, sure. You go ‘take care’ of her.” She then gave me a wink. “Have fun playing nurse.”

Wait, what!?

“I- That’s not- But! Ugh! Later!”

I quickly escaped Jisoo’s teasing and laughter and headed back upstairs.

Eunbi was right where I left her, laying on the bed and quitely mumbling to herself.

“Eunbi…” I whispered. “Have some water… You’ll feel better…”

“Mmmmmm~!” Eunbi lifted one of her arms, calling for me as she made a beckoning motion with her hand. “I’m too tired… Feed me…”

Geez… She really is cute, isn’t she?

“Alright, alright… Sit up please...:”

She raised her other arm, further accenting her adorable visual as she called me to the bed.

Is… Is this right?

I started to have some real doubts about my next move right now.

What would Yerin do…?

Er. Nevermind.

I probably shouldn’t use her as an example.

She does need water though.

“Come here…” I whispered, sitting on the bed next to her. Slowly, I lifted her body to cradle her almost like a baby as I made sure her head and back were properly supported. “Drink some water. It’s good for you.”

Eunbi was still in a daze but opened to take a drink.

“That’s a good girl,” I found myself babying her a bit. Especially since we were in this position.

Or maybe…

Maybe I should have seen it coming because we were in this position.

She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and neck. With strength that I didn’t know she had. Pulling me closer to her tiny frame. And to her small, sweet lips…

It was messy.

Uncoordinated.

Though it didn't matter. She was soft to the touch.

The voice in my head told me that this was wrong. So wrong. That she was drunk and not fully in control.

My heart didn’t care. It didn’t care how wrong it was. It wanted this more than anything and I was all too happy to acquiesce.

So I kissed her back without any remorse.

Without hesitation.

Without caution.

Until I was out of breath.

We finally separated, after I don’t know how long.

All I knew was that wanted to stay like this forever. Looking at her cute expression as she danced between consciousness.

So…

I decided to say it.

I decided to let the words spill from my lips.

Words I've always wanted to say to her.

“Eunbi, you know I really like you,” I whispered slowly, letting every word carry its own weight. “Right?”

“I’m so glad…

Her words were barely audible as she drifted off.

“...to finally hear you say that…

But karma’s a ...

“...Yuna… I like you too…”

And she was pissed.

I immediately got up from the bed, leaving her in the drunken stupor. She didn’t seem to mind as she continued lying there, sleeping.

I…

I…

I…

I had no idea what to do.

I wanted to hate Yuna…

I wanted to hate this party…

I wanted to hate this entire life that I lived.

But mostly…

I wanted to hate myself…

I wanted to hate myself for falling in love with such a troublesome girl.

But I couldn't even accomplish that.

So I just sat there.

I sat on the floor…

And watched her sleep as I started to cry...

~~~

[Yerin’s Driveway, Present Day]

~~~

“Sowon unnie…”

Yerin spoke calmly but apologetic.

I could only give her a half a smile as I finished the story.

“And you know how the rest goes,” I shrugged. “I spent the rest of the night helping people leave and cleaned up. Anything. Anything I could do get my head out of the moment. SinB and Umji helped a bit…”

“Oh yeah, you mentioned them in your text last night.” Yerin raised an eyebrow. “What was that about?”

I tried everything in my power to not bring up that memory. Blech!

“Gah, no. Please!”

“Hahaha, wow. Okay...”

The was a beat of silence that clogged up the air. Yerin let it hang a moment more before proceeding to probe my head.

“So what are you going to do?” Yerin asked, unsure how else to approach the subject. “I mean…”

“Yeah… I know what you mean,” I stated, slowly stretching out a bit and drying my face. “You. Yerin. One of the biggest flirts of our class. The great mischievous liar.”

“Thanks.” Yerin flashed a sincere smile.

“Don’t mention it. But are you serious about her? Are you really honestly going to date her?”

“Yeah, I am,” she spoke with an even tone. “And I was hoping you could help me understand her past and her…”

“I figured you would catch on,” I smiled, satisfied with her response. “I don't mind helping you out. But please take care of the Golden Child, Yerin. I have no idea what in the world you did to get her out of her rut but something happened. And as far as I’m concerned you are the best thing she needs right now.”

“‘Golden...?”

“As for what I’m going to do,” I finally was able to clean myself of my tears and found my voice. “I’m going to stay by Eunbi’s side. I’m going to stay by her side like nothing happened because I'm not supposed to know anything. And… there will be a moment. That moment will have her crashing down and if I’m not there to pick her back up, no one else will. Not even Yuna…”

Yerin squinted her eyes, disliking my statement.

“So… you’re just going to play rebound… then?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“But Sowon unnie!” Yerin rushed to my side, holding my arms. “That’s insane! That’s not fair-”

“I know!” I assured her. “I know that it’s not fair. And I know you, Yerin. You don’t have to fix every little problem in front of you. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. I’m stronger than I look. You just keep making the Yuna smiling like you have been all night and I will be happy with that.”

“But will you really be? Will you really be happy knowing that if Eunbi were to like you now, it would only be because she is getting over Yuna?”

Damn…

Yeah.

She had to go there.

It was like walking into a brick wall.

“No, I won’t,” I spoke honestly, opening the door to the house. “But it’s better than where I am now.”

Author's Note: OMG. I'm gonna get so much hate for that character turn... Don't throw too much at me. TT__TT

Sowon is in a position that I personally feel is very common though. Of wanting to be the rebound, of wanting to be the one there to catch them... And its a terrible place to be. So... Some more dark is going to come. 

But YAY FOR THAT JISOO INSERT! Jisoo is such a fun character in "Press Start" that I had to include her here a bit. And this chapter is a bit of a spoiler for that fic... Kekekekeke. Go Mina, Go! 

And finally... The Golden Child thing. I can finally drop this little aspect of about Yuna that i've been holding back. Sigh. Such a load off my chest. So much will be unloaded in the next couple of chapters that i've been holding back. Like why is Yuna the Golden Child? Why is Sowon so concerned about her? What is Yuna really? And how will her and Eunbi's relationship going to be now moving forward. 

So  sorry for the delay btw. I got really sick.

Anyway, like always. Please comment! And rememver to have good memories and nightmares.