Yerin waken up in the middle of the night. Feeling thirsty. She came out from her room, wobblingly walk to the kitchen. Since she naturally know by heart how their dorm situation and every position of the stuffs, she feel not necessary turn on the light, she sure where she has to steps to get where she want to.

With half of open eyes, she open the refrigerator's door. The refrigerator's light shine out, that make Yerin's sight catch something unexpectedly on the corner of their kitchen, and existance of that 'thing' surprise her to shriek.

 

"Oh my gosh!!" Yerin yelped, her sleepiness gone instantly, "You scared me!! Geezz... what are you doing there, Unnie?! Why you sitting on the floor, at the corner, in darkness?! Are you trying to make a horror scene?! Geezz...!"

 

And that 'thing', the only person in their dorm who Yerin called as 'Unnie' just smirking and giggling mischievously.

 

Yerin took a bootle of water, open the cap then gulp it a half. After relieve her thirst and calm back down from her shocked, Yerin start to notice familiar smell that filling the kitchen's atmosphere. The scent of soju.

Yerin finally aware at those green small bottles around Sowon, also one that still on her Unnie's grip.

 

1, 2, 3, 4,....5?!

Yerin count those bottles by her mind.

 

"Unnie, what's wrong?!" Yerin about to turn on the light, but Sowon stop her.

"Don't turn on the light!" Sowon's voice stern but also a bit mumbling. Obviously, she sounds drunk.

Yerin sigh. She obidiently cancel what she about to do then go closer to where Sowon sitting and she squat in front of Sowon. The refrigerator's light that shine out which Yerin purposely let it slightly open that help her to able to see how her Unnie's face expression at that time. Sowon's look sad and desperate. Somehow it brake Yerin's heart.

 

"Unnie, what's wrong?" Yerin ask the same question but now in more careful and soothing tone. "You drink more than usual... and alone."

Sowon sigh heavily. The Soju scent smelled strong from her breath. "It's because I feel need to drunk right now... but it strange that I even became more sense and sober instead. It's weird... you know? I'm looking for an escape from my stuffy chest but it's irritating me even more... what should I do?" then Sowon take few gulps directly from the bottle, that makes Yerin shock. She never see before that older girl who usually well behave, dependable and dignity look so devastated like that moment.

 

"Why you feel need to drunk, Unnie? Why you feel stuffy? Were something bad happened?" Yerin carefully ask.

Sowon chuckle, "No. Instead... today we had a good news, right? Eunha and Yuju get new duet projects. Great, right? What a great news! Our main and lead vocals are indeed do their job greatly. We are so lucky to have them. What a talented vocals! Bravo!! Yoohoo!!" Sowon babling.

"So if that great, whats the problem, Unnie?" Yerin ask again. Confuse.

Sowon chuckle, "It is great. You are great. All of you... my beloved members... all of you are great. Very talented girls. I'm proud of all of you. The only problem is... me. I'm the problem. The only loser in this group is just me. Hahaha~..." Sowon's laugh is sound sad and miserable, and even more when her laugh turns to cry, a desperate cry.

 

"Aaww~... Unnie~..." Yerin can't help to feel hurt in her heart. She can't find any better way how to comfort her unnie at that time than to give her a tight hug. Sowon's body shaking on Yerin's embrace, obviously from her sobs. Yerin just keep hug her and rubbing her back, trying comforting. She let Sowon cry and wailling as much as she want to, and as long as she need to. Yerin thought that Sowon is finally off her ability limit to kept all burdens and sorrow inside herself. As the longest trainee group partner also as her roommate since their first dorm day, Yerin pretty much know how hard Sowon struggle to make sure a conducive group of them. It's obviously very hard work needed to herding hyperactive beagle puppies to go through on path, but Sowon manage them very well, Sowon lead them well, she can be firm and dependable, but also able to play along with their mischievousness, and always make sure every members get their needs, and pouring them with her care and love anytime they need, even all the time. She always there to cheer and comfort them.

 

After a while, Sowon's cry gradually calm. She loosen her hug then pull away from Yerin's embrace. She wipe her own tears using her back hand, then help to wipe Yerin's tears.

"Thanks, Yerin-ah..." Sowon's hoarse voice and the view of her puffy eyes are once again clutching Yerin's heart.

"Thanks? what for, Unnie? I'm not do anything..."

Sowon smile warmly, "You... being here, hearing my words, letting me cry and hug me. You comfort me. You have no idea how it means a lot for me. Thank you."

Yerin tidying Sowon's strands of hair that stick on her face due to her tears, then gently tucked them behind her ears. Carefully wipe Sowon's left over tears. "Unnie, be strong. Your time will come too. Just wait patiently and keep do your best." Yerin hear her own words and feel by herself that it sounds flat and fake, and that make her want to slap herself.

But Sowon, she smile to her. There's no sign of offended on her face. Yerin can't help to wonder whether her unnie is too naive or she is too kind so she able to accept her lame words, but then Yerin conclude that her unnie is must be an angel. How come there's a human being who way too nice as her unnie.

 

 

 

 

At the morning...

Yerin keep watch on her Unnie, who actually --- incredibly --- look very normal, calm, cool as normal her. Sowon able to cheerfully joking with everybody as if last night crap drama never happened. She bickering with SinB, adoring their Maknae Umji, being sweet with Eunha, unskin Yuju's crabs and feed that younger girl to make sure their Main Vocal get her proper meal and nutrition, and for more surprise Sowon even gave Yerin her Chocolate piece with excuse that she's not in the mood for chocolate at that time so Yerin can have it.

 

Huft~...

 

Yerin just sigh silently. The fact that Sowon 'act' okay is makes Yerin more worry about her. She wish that her Unnie be 'open up' herself and willingly share her burdens, or even if Sowon scold them more and express how she upset or mad of her members's naughtiness, that still would be much better. Than actually hiding a lot of hurt and burden by herself. That fact was just Yerin found out last night, and she really want to let her dongsaengs to know it too, so they can work things out together to help their Leader Unnie to overcome her low self-esteem, but Yerin also aware that she do that might cause huge trouble for their group. Yerin thought that she better help Sowon secretly for now, but she better find proper time and how to tell her dongsaengs, but at least not now...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Days after.... around the middle of December 2017.

Yerin is so shock when she get the recent news about "SHINee Jonghyun's Dead". As a Shawol (SHINee's fans) of course that news is a huge disaster for Yerin. Eventhough her favourite is Onew, but she loves them all. Her memory rewind to one day on February 2015, when she experienced MCing at Music Bank with Shinee's Jonghyun, and fond of them more after. When Yerin found out that the caused of Jonghyun's was because depression, pressures of stardom, that he feel lonely, needs support and acceptances from anybody, to tell him that he do good job.... that makes Yerin can't help herself to relate it to Sowon, to the late-at-night-lonely-drunk-at-the-coner-of-dorm-kitchen time. Yerin feel goosebump all over her body. Yerin is on a cab on her way back to dorm after had samgyepsal dinner with one of her high school friend. She ask the cab driver to faster, and as soon as she pay the cab fee she come out then quickly run, trying to get the dorm to find Sowon as soon as she can.

 

"Where's Sowon Unnie?!!!" Yerin ask in shout when she can't find her Unnie at anywhere their dorm, she already check their sharing room, living room, kitchen, even laundry room, but Sowon is nowhere...

 

"She go with Umji to convenience store down stair. What with your panic state all of sudden, Unnie? Did you got not enough Samgyeopsal for your dinner?" SinB said in annoyed frown.

"Shinee's Jonghyun is dead!" Yerin shout.

"We know that. It so sad... The news are all over the medias. But what the relation with you looking for Sowon Unnie? Unnie already know it too and she sad about it too." Eunha join the conversation.

"We have to save her! Quickly! Help me!" Yerin panickely shout.

"Who? Save who?" Yuju ask confusely.

"Sowon Unnie. We have to save her. Quickly!" Yerin shout while stomping her feet panickely.

"Why? What happen to Sowon Unnie that we have to save her?" Umji ask.

"Sowon Unnie is in depression. She's in low self-esteem. I'm afraid that she will end up like Shinee's Jonghyun Oppa or other celebrities who suicided because depression...(sobs)" Yerin explain then start sobbing. The girls taken aback hearing Yerin's explanation.

"You saying that Sowon Unnie is depress?" SinB ask in unbelieve tone. Yerin nod.

"Why? Why Sowon Unnie in depression?" Eunha ask.

Then Yerin tell them about the late-at-night-lonely-drunk-at-the-coner-of-dorm-kitchen thing that makes her dongsaengs shock.

"She look just fine all these time..." Yuju say in slow tempo, like thinking deeply while say it.

"Yeah... she cheer us so brightly..." Eunha also said like monologue.

 

 

Silence...

 

 

Suddenly Yerin decide to run to the door and get out to look for Sowon, since she really can't calm herself. She just need to see her Unnie being fine while close to her, that's all she want. Yerin come out from the elevator then run to  convenience store on the ground floor of their dorm building, but when she get in the store, there're no Sowon or Umji.

 

"Yerin-ah!" The convenience-store-Oppa greet her, since he already used to them.

"Ah... Oppa, were Sowon Unnie and Umji here?" Yerin ask.

"Yeah. But they already left about a half hour ago." The convenience-store-Oppa said.

"A half an hour? But I'm not meet them at dorm just now..." Yerin said confusely.

"Maybe they not back yet from the convenience-store which on the corner of the block." The  convenience-store-Oppa guess.

"What are they doing there?" Yerin ask again.

"They looking for something we don't have here, that's why they trying to look for on the other store." The convenience-store-Oppa explain.

Hearing that, Yerin quickly go for another run. She running crossing the front yard of the building, after out from the gate, she decide to turn left to where another convenience store she usually went with the girls. She run as fast as she can on the pedestrian zone until the corner of the block then turn left again, the convenience store should be just few meters from that turn.

 

And there they are... Yerin find Sowon and Umji right at the front of the convenience store. But strangely there's a strange man with them, who look like a bad guy, trying to rude to those girls. Yerin can clearly see Umji's scare face and Sowon's mad expression. Yerin's blood is boiling instantly. Her eyes is as if about to pop out from it socket, due to her anger. Suddenly Yuju stop right on her side cooly, followed by SinB who a bit panting, then Umji and the last is Eunha that desperately trying to catch a breath while bending hold onto their knees. They all quickly see the scene and understand what happen to Leader-Maknae, but before they start an act to help Sowon already do something...

 

*****

 

Sowon and Umji just came out from the convenience store with satisfaction to got what they want, when suddenly a stranger man suddenly stopped Sowon and Umji's way, and talk to them...

"Hey... cute girls. How about if we go together to have some fun?" That stranger man ask in somehow an act and visually like such a jerk.

"No. Thank you." Sowon firmly answer then trying to pull Umji's hand to make a quick run away, but turns out that man not wiling to let them go easily.

"Hey... why so fast? Why don't you stay for a while... c'mon, this ahjussi is lonely and need for companion. You girls look nice and kind, stay will you?" The stranger man keep on blocking their way.

Sowon sigh, trying to calm herself and keep her sanity when she actually really eager to smack and throw her wrath on that disgraceful man who get on her nerves. Sowon also can feel that Umji is gripping her hand tighter than before. She can clearly see that Maknae is terrified.

 

Suddenly that jerk grab Umji's wrist, with sort of disgusting gaze at Umji that make Sowon can't hold herself anymore. Sowon surprisingly clutching her long nails deeply on the badman's hand that gripping Maknae's wrist hand then forcefully snatch it off. Then kick his shinbone with all her might that makes him can't help to scream out in pain then naturally bend to rubbing his in-pain-shinbone, that chance is used by Sowon to give him another attack, a hard knee-kick right on his face that in result make him get a nose-bleed and another scream. Then Sowon quickly pull her Maknae to run away. But when they just few steps away suddenly there's 'something' flashing from their front, turns out it's SinB who add a flying-kick right on that bad-guy's back that makes him thrown away then fall right on her face. Then Yerin and Eunha also came to give another furious kicks and tickle torture.

"YAH!!! HOW DARE YOU TO RUDE AT OUR BELOVED MEMBERS???!!! GET THIS YOU AS****E!!!" the three of them savagely attacking the bad guy.

"Ouch!! Hahaha!! Aww!! Stop it! Hahaha!! I'm sorry!! Ouch!! Hahaha!! I won't do that again!! Ouch!! Hahaha!!" That guy just scream out in pain and uncontrolable ticklish laughing while begging for mercy until Yuju came running while pulling a policeman to help.

In short the policeman tie the bad guy then ask them all to come with him to make a report at the office.

All the affairs complete in less than half an hour, since there're evidence and witness that proof the crime of the bad guy, so then the police put him on jail, then the girls can go back to their dorm. The police offer to give them a ride but they refuse it, since it actually not to far, not to late at night and they said want to 'breath some fresh air' on their way back.

 

 

The 6 girls walk hand in hand in light footsteps, talk excitingly about their 'action thriller experience' just happened while laughing and shouting on how 'cool' their acted.

"Wow! It was so much fun! Hahaha!!" SinB lauging.

"You okay righ, Maknae? Is your wrist hurt a lot?" Sowon concernly ask.

Umji shake her head, "No. I'm fine. Thank God, that I went with you. You're so brave and strong, Unnie." Umji said with stare of admiration to her Leader-Unnie. Sowon smile warmly then hug her Maknae, silently grateful that they all okay.

"Yeah! You're so cool, Unnie. Especially I love your knee-kick. That was awesome!!" SinB compliment excitingly.

"Yeah, you're so awesome, Sowon Unnie!" Eunha join to compliment while walking in somehow caper cutely like a very happy bunny.

"Ah.. too bad I couldn't see you knee-kick, Unnie." Yuju said in regret.

"But thanks to your fast ran to get the police on time before these three savage kids make that bad guy out of breath. Hahaha!!" Sowon jokingly said that make all of them laugh.

"He deserved it!" SinB said furiously.

"Eeyyy.. don't say such that. There's nobody deserve to get bad thing on their life." Sowon wisely said.

"Unnie, stop being an angel... you also need to open up and express your feeling. Don't restrain yourself all the time. Feel free to tell us what bothers you, share your burdens, let's carry it together. We are a group, so it our all responsible to make this group works, not just for you, eventhough you are the leader, it's ours! So let us help you. Don't be too hard to yourself! Please!! I beg you, for goodness sake!!" Yerin finally explode herself to Sowon.

"SHUT UP!! Can't you aware that we are at public area right now? Are you out of your mind, Yerin-ah? Are you not grown up enough yet to aware of the situation? Let's talk when we get the dorm!" Sowon's sounds deep, firm, commanding, and intimidating at the same time, that bring chill along her members's spine and goosebump, swept away Yerin's hot temper instantly and turn it into fear and respect to her unnie.

 

 

 

At GFriend's dorm...

They gather on the living room. Talking about Sowon's matter. Sowon finally let out her thought and feel to all of her member. For sure, she tell them that she not jealous to other's opportunity of personal projects. She always proud of them and cheer for them sincerely. Sowon just wish that she gonna be good enough so she can get her chance too one day. She will continue to upgrade herself. But along the process there're times when she feel down, it's normal as human being, right? Sowon just ask her members to have an understanding of that side of her. The girls promise her that they will understand and support her, but they ask her to be honest to them, to tell them when she need them, and to share the burdens with them, to not restrain herself too much, to not keep troubles by herself, the kids willing to help and make their group works better and solid more as together. The kids makes Sowon promise to openly express her feel/thought to them, and she just said that she will trying her best. The kids just sigh deeply, understand that it means she might can't entirely open to them but at least she trying her best. They have to accept that their Leader-Unnie is 'indeed' an angel that way too kind and too much love them that prevent her to make them suffer or sad, she just want to only give the best and the happiest for her members all the time.

 

 

 

Huft~...

It's good thing, though...

But strangely upseting...

But they will be fine.

They GFriend afterall... right?

They love each other for sure and be stronger from time to time.

Huft~...

 

 

 

============

A.N :

Yuju and Eunha got their duet projects almost at the same time.

Eunha with TEEN TOP's Chunji collab single "Hold Your Hand", on October 26th, 2017. While Yuju and IZ's Jihoo have their duet track "Heart Signal", on October 27th, 2017.

Then again in also close time Eunha done a collab with Yoon Ddan Ddan on The Package OST titled "You Look Nice Today", on November 3rd, 2017. Then also Yuju collab with Jungkey on song title "First Love", on December 10th 2017.

It's fact that only Sowon who not has personal project (sing collaboration/feature singer/OST) among GFriend.

So sad~....TT

SouMu CEO-Nim, please give Sowon a chance too!! Or let her have acting or fashion project, or anything that might she be good at... Sowon need chance to explore herself. At least give her more lines...

 

And a tribute for Shinee's Jonghyun. He was a great artist. Blessed with musical soul and skills. Rest in peace, Bro...