He wished he was a bird again. So he could fly way above the limits of planet earth and just forget about anything that's ever surrounded him in his life.

But Chanyeol is not a bird. Not now and not ever in real life.

The reality of not being able to ever fly around is a little sad, but he has a damn good body that comes in handy when it comes to transportation. 

Not only is he big and long legged, but he is also pretty fit. His stamina's decent on the above average side and honestly, as long as it looks good and serves him the way it should, he doesn't need much more.

Satisfied with his own option of freedom unless he's locking himself in his room in order to complete some game quests , he never really thought of a life where he was not in control.

Even if his lawyer father is a little pushy and strict with him sometimes.

He can choose on his own whether he wants to sleep, eat, go out to get some coffee, go to class, go to the toilet. He has the power of both setting a target according to his wish, and then acting upon it to achieve it.

For Chanyeol there is no other way of life.

Maybe that's why he was so surprised or even slightly scared from his upcoming visit to the 'Do' household again. At the top floor of the rundown building with outer dusty cement stairs that lead straight from the door to the street.

The mere thought of losing the authorization over his own life terrifies him. He won't be able to survive. Chanyeol is a man of fire and desire, he sees, he wants, he acts. Simple as that.

But what if one of these stages are not something he's able to do by himself?

No no. No way. He shouldn't even be thinking about it. It's too to imagine himself having to depend on others for anything at all. Actually, it's to imagine anybody depending on him, too.

He'd gladly admit it. He does all the time to Baekhyun at least. How much he hates having to do that one single easy task of delivering some papers. Maybe he's taking it too far. Maybe he's just being a child about this whole thing.

But now while taking his time on the way to the house in the middle of the poor neighbourhood only twenty minutes away from university, he just can't help but feel upset yet again about his misfortune of handling this.

Two weeks in a row now he will be making a fool out of himself in front of the student he never really spared a thought for since they clearly were never in class. From obvious reasons.

He hates this. He hates Baekhyun for being such a fake and doing all these good things for people he doesn't even know all the time. It's probably his friend's way to pay back to whatever greater force controls the world to try and erase his sins.

He can see the crumbling walls of the unpleasant low life view of his destination now, and rather than a thrill he feels nothing but cold anger spreading in his body.

There is no way he is going to continue doing this job after today. It's the worst, and he has already given himself enough embarrassment and bad reputation during the very short and rude last visit.

Clearly, he is fully aware of the fact that he was the literal definition of 'Stupid' from the way he acted. But he will never admit it. He doesn't have to, because it's not like he'll ever be seeing that person again.

Both in the dismissive way, and the factual way. Because this person will... Literally not be able to meet him after today. Ever. He won't be coming back, and therefore that will be the end of their very short and very awful interaction session.

There are exactly thirty seven stairs separating Chanyeol from the street and the front of the 'Do' apartment door. Thirty seven stairs he is stepping on for the third, and hopefully one before last time ever for the rest of his life.

Right. So he shouldn't apologize for he has done nothing wrong, but he shouldn't be nice either because it's tiring. And also because it's not going to matter anymore.

There is no reason for his heart to raise up in speed, so that must be the result of just climbing up the stairs to get to this spot. The cold collected subtle anger under the surface isn't going to burst this time.

He knocked twice on the door, just like last time. Because that's the amount of knocks Baekhyun had told him he should count in order to alert the student that the papers delivery boy has arrived.

It didn't take long for the door to open again, just like  last time. Except this time Chanyeol's body doesn't freeze and jump in surprise before sprinting away. He can do this, even if just being exposed to this is a challenge.

He's such an for having such a narrow mindset about the whole situation. Can't he spare even a little bit of compassion? No. Apparently. He just wants to get back to his dorm quickly and play some games until he'll be sleepy and stressed enough to finish up and essay that's due tomorrow.

In front of him, now in full view and not through the sudden stress and fiddle of papers being shoved at the person residing in this apartment, Chanyeol was able to give them a proper look.

A boy. A boy sitting in a worn out looking wheelchair is right there with the doorknob in his hand after pulling the door open. A small grey plaid blanket is wrapped around his lower body, hiding whatever might be in the place of his legs.

A boy who looks up at him. With black soft looking hair, that seems to have not gotten cut in months since it drabbles all over his forehead unorderly. With large thick framed glasses, larger eyes behind them, and lips. 

That is an odd observation, lips. They are so pink and pretty, almost shaped like a heart. Not that it matters much, Chanyeol knows he's here for a reason much different than the one he thought of last week.

There won't be any smash or pass process going on here. Because this boy, with whatever might be hidden under the blanket is a whole entire smash. No-- No. Pass. Pass. Chanyeol needs to get a grip of himself.

How long have they been staring at each other silently like this Chanyeol isn't sure. But once the big eyes and big lips finally settled in his mind as appearance facts about the seated boy in front of him, he finally sent out his hands.

The total smash guy with glasses took the papers, this time they were not blown and shoved anywhere around between them like last time. He gave them a small glance and counted them before turning his gaze back up at Chanyeol.

"Thank you."

It's the same voice from last week. Well, duh. It's the same person too. The mysterious absent student. The resident of the 'Do' household.

Without saying a word Chanyeol shrugged, already erasing all memories of this encounter and the previous one from his mind before turning to the stairs and going down. He heard the door close behind him shortly after.

Good job. Well done Chanyeol. You're finished with this nightmare. The student got his papers and you're free from the burden. He'll forget you, and you are already forgetting him.
Chanyeol encouraged himself in his own mind on the way out of the neighbourhood he won't be visiting again.

Wow, he now feels even a little bit good about himself. Well, more likely because he's finally able to stop worrying and just focus on his game at the moment he gets back to the dorm.

Jongdae is not supposed to be around either, so that means he'll be able to be as loud as he wishes even before sundown. Their sleeping hours are a mess, no judgement there. It's a blessing their hours somehow match perfectly so neither will bother the other.

So Chanyeol got back, dropped his bag, and started his favourite thing in the world, which is playing until he forgets all about it. About the world and about the job he had finally finished that for some reason caused him a lot more discomfort that he had imagined.

--

"So. Like, it's not a rash. It's kind of much worse than that."

Baekhyun explained, half distracted by his attempts to shove a plastic straw into the little bag of grape flavoured juice he had got with him. Isn't that juice meant for little children...? Not that Chanyeol cares.

"Oh. That . You okay though?"

"Yeah, yeah. There's just one thing..."

His concentration levels have increased, and now instead of trying to do it blindly, he decided to focus on sliding it into the drink with the careful approach.  Who knew university students can still struggle with such things.

Seems like his efforts paid off though, because the straw finally got in and with a victorious expression Baekhyun was finally able to drink the poisonous juice. Chanyeol is not one to judge, he drinks many more unhealthy drinks normally.

"Taking care of it would be taking a long time. So I'll be missing a day of class every week."

"Pfft. You don't look very sad about that."

Chanyeol snickered at his classmate. The both of them are sitting at one of the outdoors wooden picnic tables located right outside the library doors, because they're waiting for Jongdae to finish his private tutoring lesson taking place there.

"True, I'm not sad because it'll be solved eventually. But there's another thing."

Now Baekhyun's expression shifts from satisfaction into a combination of worry and suspicion, and his eyes avert directly towards Chanyeol, who's half fiddling with his phone at the moment.

"Your favour's not over yet."

"What?"

"Yeah. The day I'll be missing each week is the day I usually go bring the papers to... You know."

Chanyeol's speeding fingers over his own mobile's screen have frozen in place, the message of 'Game Over' popped up with a small defeated and even slightly humiliating tune, and his eyes grew wide.

This means nothing is over. It means he will have to continue going to that person's house every week and bring him stupid papers for who knows how long it would take Baekhyun to heal up.

This means he will have to continue suffering on a weekly basis just because he agreed to be nice ONCE. Just because he was sure he'll be getting something for his own benefit out of the deal.

Like if the person living in that house was a normal ing person and not a crippled poor fool. 

Okay. No. Even for Chanyeol thinking such things is just wrong. He's mean, but not evil inherently.

"Dude.. Don't do this to me.."

He finally responded with a hoarse airy voice, raising his eyes to his friend, that is already looking away and sipping on the juice bag through the straw.

"Sorry. No offense but it's for my health so you could at least be a human and not give me for it."

"..."

Chanyeol allowed the front of his body to fall down onto the wooden surface of the picnic table with a thud that made a few other students in their surrounding turn their head and make sure he didn't die.

He will have to face this boy every single week now? For real? After finally feeling the relief of finishing what he had done until now? The world is out to get him. Or in this case.. Baekhyun, probably.

"For the record, I really. REALLY. Hate this Baekhyun. I should have never agreed in the first place."

"Oh wow, Mr. I got the golden rank in three days. Didn't think forty minutes once a week would be such a burden to spare for my health."

Well, he's got a point. Chanyeol is a selfish who is damn good at what he loves doing, which includes mostly playing games and ranking beyond expectations almost instantly. But he is a selfish that still values his friends.

Technically the reason the two of them are out here at all is because his friendship with Baekhyun and Jongdae is important enough for him to stay away from the games already.

"You'll be fine. Stop being such a ing . He deserves to get the study material just like we do. He just can't."

Baekhyun added again, smacking the back of Chanyeol's neck and causing him to jump lightly and groan with displeasure. So annoying. He allowed himself to celebrate too early and now he'll be stuck in the same routine again.

Just like in the games, he needed to make sure the target was dead before turning around, because this time he clearly missed the kill shot. Even if it wasn't exactly his choice.

A message popped up on the screen of his phone. Grabbing his attention away from the self pity he began drowning in. He hates these messages. He hates the person who sends them.

With a heavier sigh than the sigh concerning his own freedom, he tapped an answer onto the device, noticing Baekhyun's wondering eyes in his direction, he just shook his head lightly. Baekhyun doesn't need to get involved.

Quickly after receiving an answer for his own reply, Chanyeol returned right back to the state of a selfish mourn.

Devastated by his crushing future for the upcoming weeks, Chanyeol remained sprawled on top of the wooden table, looking miserable and tired even when he saw Jongdae approach them from the corner of his eyes.

Jongdae is seriously an angel. Chanyeol sees him coming closer and closer to their table from his odd angle of lying his head down, and before blinking there's his favourite snack bar being dropped on the table right in front of his face.

"Jongdaeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

"What's up with him this time?"

Jongdae ignored his whine and walked around his body, sitting himself down in front of Baekhyun instead.

"He's apparently dying because he will have to continue bringing the papers to our classmate."

"Ah. Chanyeol you're an ."

Jongdae confirmed without a second thought, glancing down at Chanyeol who's trying to catch the corner of the bar's wrapper with his lips instead of using his hands to make the task a hundred times easier.

Well, using his hands would mean moving up from the table and it has now become his home. He's fine like this, no more moving, no more dealing with the dread of taking care of a paraplegic student he never even knew.

"Anyway, how'd the doctor go?"

His roommate changed the flow of the conversation easily, directing it to Baekhyun and actually asking questions that show interest in the well being of his friend. 

Unlike Chanyeol who just like always, managed to turn himself into the center of the conversation because he's too dense to care enough about how other people might be feeling. Or doing, or anything, really.

At least he managed to tear the wrapper of the snack open and was able to nibble on it while listening to the answers. He does care... At least a little. He cares for his friends.

Just right now he cares more about his own destiny. Chanyeol doesn't even understand why it bothers him this much. It's just a person he brings papers to. Why does it matter to him so much that he's getting restless whenever the thought comes up?

Just because he is almost the exact opposite of Chanyeol's personality and whole being doesn't mean he's in any way worth less than him... Right? Chanyeol wants to trust himself to believe that.

But there is a part deep inside him that is still convinced that he's wasting his time, and that a person like the Do resident isn't worth any of the effort both Baekhyun and him put in order to help.

This is literally the worst thing to think ever, and he knows it. Maybe there is a little bit of inherent evil in him. Or it could just be his overflowing sense of self that generally reduces the value of anybody who isn't him.

--

This time Chanyeol only needed to look at the map once in order to get to the house. It made him feel disgusting and bad for getting even remotely familiar around such a low neighbourhood.

Combining the whole street's money together probably would be a total worth less than Chanyeol's own saved money for his opening in life once he's finished with university.

He's so shallow and having such ugly thoughts right now. Seriously it's pretty upsetting even for himself to be thinking so badly about other people. He doesn't exactly care at all about any of them, but it wouldn't harm to develop some internal mannerism.

Thirty seven steps up in the air he stood, feeling the dust from the climb stick to the bottom of his jeans. He hates this. It's stupid. And now he's stuck in this loop for a number of times he can only guess.

With a heavy sigh he knocked twice on the door.

A distant rumble of movement came from inside, and this time was the fastest the door had ever opened before him. It was a little surprising just how quick it happened.

The boy's expression looked more lively than ever too, his hair still uncfomortably uncut, but his eyes were shining and he even had a bit of a smile plastered on his fascinating lips.

It didn't last long though, because at the moment he had to raise his head up higher and higher to be met with Chanyeol's own, the smile faded and the shine in his eyes died along with it into the subtle awkwardness that was on his face the last time too.

"It's you again? I mean--- I mean, where is Baekhyun?"

He asked. So soft spoken and gentle. It seems that unlike Chanyeol's, and even his two best friends' loud and hyper personalities, this guy is more on the quiet side. But he does know Baekhyun's name.

For just how long has Baekhyun been coming over with papers for him to know him on a personal level?

"The doctor's or some ."

It seems the seated Do resident was a little surprised from hearing Chanyeol's voice for the first time. Well, Chanyeol's voice is deep and low, but it isn't too shocking for such a big tone to come out of such a big body.

Or maybe he was surprised from Chanyeol's unfiltered language. He looks so much younger than Chanyeol himself. Or maybe it's just because he's... Well, so short while sitting on the wheelchair.

Without much of a hustle Chanyeol handed the papers to him, watching the confusion on his face turn into something a little more sincere.

"O-Ohh... Uhm. Thank you. I'm sorry. Please tell Baekhyun that I hope he's feeling well."

His considerably small hands tugged to the pile of papers as he averted his eyes sideways and away from Chanyeol's possible judgemental glare. What is he even apologizing for? Whatever. 

"Mmh."

Chanyeol hummed in return. He'll probably forget to tell Baekhyun anything at all. But it doesn't even matter. Because this person doesn't matter. He has nothing to do with their lives.

He's just a useless stay-home student who can't even get to school at all. Must be a pain, but Chanyeol simply doesn't care. He turned around after the dismissive agreement and in less than a minute was already down the street on his way back.

It's the easiest thing in the world to do what he wants. Chanyeol will continue living under his desires and terms. He doesn't need to get involved with a person that can't even stand on their own.

Back at his room it took about exactly two minutes to forget he even visited the 'special' student at all. Let alone forget his request about sending Baekhyun his regards.

It doesn't matter. He doesn't care. Nobody really cares. Even Baekhyun himself started doing this just because the teacher offered him this task for the extra points he's missing in order to get in the higher grading ratio.

That guy is just a burden and therefore it's better for Chanyeol to forget about the whole emotional turmoil he's been through when he first came and realized what he's dealing with.

The concept of being caged in one place and unable to move is so foreign, scary and appalling that Chanyeol almost feels like he wants to work out even harder just to prove how much better it is than being a mole.

Ah, it's stupid. He really should stop caring already. It has nothing to do with him and even if he knows it's not the boy's fault for being... Well, that. It changes nothing in the way it makes him feel towards the whole situation.

"Chanyeol, will you be done until like four?"

Jongdae's voice was heard in his room, surpassing the game's background music.

Chanyeol turned to face his roommate, spinning on his chair and taking the headphones down to his neck. That's a good opportunity to stretch a little. He didn't even realize it's nearly three in the morning. Sort of morning.

"Mmmgh, probably. Gotta sleep?"

"Yup. Thanks bud."

"Night Jongdae."

His friend winked at him, leaving the room with his fingers shaped like fake guns in his hands before the door was closed behind him.

Right. Chanyeol has better things to think about. Like the cool new mount he managed to get in the game that runs faster than any other.

Tomorrow he'll do some running on the treadmill. Running is fun with some good music.