Chapter 21

Areum POV

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I walk down the street passing by my friend’s houses. But once I reach the end of the street, I am brought back to the beginning. They stand outside their doors looking at me, giving me dead stares. An uneasy feeling hits my stomach and I don’t feel safe or welcomed. Suddenly, their stares turn into laugher. They form a circle around me and point.

“What’s so funny?! Why are you laughing!?”

I repeat my question over and over again, but I never seem to get a response. Their laughter drives me insane and I attempt to squeeze my ears shut but I can still hear them clearly.

Then all off a sudden, it all stops, the laughter ends and the atmosphere of the situation changes. The sky darkens, and I make eye contact with Chin-Hwa.

I gasp at the disgusted side glance he throws me. “C’mon guys, let’s go.”

Without another word, they all proceed to leave me acting as if I was never there to begin with.

“H-hey don’t go!"  I begin to run but I’m not fast enough. There’s an unknown force holding me back and before I know it, they all manage to slip away from me..

I awaken with shock and my eyes fly open.

It’s the dam nightmares again.

Instead of sitting up and washing my face, I stay laying down and let the tears soak my pillow. I cry silently and glance around my dark room.

I sigh and gently wipe the tears. Hair strands are sticking to my wet face and my clothes are clinging to my sweaty body. Slowly, I get up and make my way to the washroom. Unfortunately, it’s a school morning so I have to get ready.

Everything feels so robotic as I do my face routine, makeup, and put on my clothes. My hair isn’t looking the best, so I attempt to put it into a neat ponytail and slip on some black heels. I grab my school bag and head to the kitchen, and I relax once I realise no one is in there. Quietly, I spread some peanut butter onto a toast slice and munch on it. I brew a fresh coffee to take and I’m all set.

The drive to school was simple but peaceful. Since it was a rough morning I played slow and calming songs to make me feel better.

Parking into the lot of Seoul High, I quietly grab my bag and notebooks and make my way towards the front entrance. The routine that I have been doing for nearly two and a half years.

It’s always the same.

I walk through the door and make my way straight to my locker. I pass by the library and watch groups of kids younger then me huddle together and giggle over a video playing on one of there phones.

Once I grab my books I make my way to first period.

A new day begins.

I never knew what I was in for.

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It’s finally lunch break and I’m making my way to Eunseo’s locker when I feel my phone buzz. I open the lock screen and see a text message from our group chat.

Jisoo: Hey, why don’t we eat outside today in the courtyard?

Mi-Hee: Sure!

I turn around and take the other hallway to get to the courtyard. I didn’t go to the cafeteria because I’m not that hungry and I have an apple to munch on in my bag. I step outside and see the girls already sitting in the field with a tiny blanket layed out.

“Hey Areum!”

“Hey guys!”

We all smile and immediately begin conversation. Nearly half of lunch is now gone and Jisoo starts another topic.

“So Areum are you and Chin-Hwa doing okay?”

I look at her confused. I had never mentioned anything questionable about our relationship that would make her think that. I scrunch my eyebrows and answer her slowly.

“Uhm..ya? Why do you randomly ask?”

“Well I just think you should be careful with Chin-Hwa.”

I put down my apple and stare at her.

“What do you mean?”

“C’mon Areum! Your dating him! Chin-Hwa! The schools most loved handsome playboy Chin-Hwa! You got to watch out!

“Did you just accuse my boyfriend of cheating on me?

“Areum honey why are you getting so defensive? I’m just telling you out of the concern of a friend!”

“I agree.” Adds Mi-Hee and I see Eunseo nod from the corner of my eye.

“I’m just skeptical about him and I think you should be careful, because I don’t trust him.” Suggests Jisoo.

Her words are making my blood boil. How dare she accuse Chin-Hwa like that!

“Jisoo I think you should keep your opinions to yourself because me and Chin-Hwa are just fine!”

Mi-Hee breaks her silence and spits her words towards me. “Why are you so desperate to be with him!?!”

Eunseo then speaks up. “I thought you were better then this!”

“Is he bribing you or something?”

I stare at Jisoo and my eyes begin to water. Her last sentence hurt. I look around and see all of them giving me judge looks with an ugly stare.

“H-how could you say that?” I choke back to them.

“WAKE UP AREUM! How can you tell that Chin-Hwa isn’t just probably using you to play with! Unless you have no self worth and you know of his intentions and play along like a clueless idiot!”

“THAT’S IT!” I get up and grab my bag.

“Did realization finally hit you?!” Jisoo taunts with an icy tone.

It takes all my might to not lunge at her and wack her across the face with my purse.

“Get lost Kim Jisoo.” I sneer.

“Oh Areum, aren’t you the one who has already lost themselves?”

Mi-Hee and Eunseo have obviously taken Jisoo’s side. They stand with her and the disapproving looks on their face tells all.

Is this really happening? Them against me? Everything we had lost?

“I never thought you would ever be such a to me Jisoo.”

“I think you just rubbed off on me.”

“YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW YOU KIM JISOO AND YOU MI-HEE AND YOU EUNSEO!”

“SCREW YOU TOO!”

"You know what Areum, this is your problm! You always think that your not at fault for anything! Stop pulling the I'm so lonely and miserable card all the time! Get over yourself!

Jisoo turns around instantly and stomps towards the door. I shake my head in disbelief at the situation.

I slowly walk backwards and turn my head, with my last sight being Mi-Hee and Eunseo giving me hateful looks.

What have I done?

What have we done.

I feel empty as I walk away. Tears aimlessly falling down my face. I go straight for the parking lot. The though of missing my afternoon classes doesn’t even faze me.

I get into my car door and pull out my phone to text my mom telling her I’m coming home because I don’t feel well.

Lie.

The tears don’t seem to stop and I drive on the streets of Seoul with blurry vision.

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Upset was an understatement. I am physically and mentally drained. I feel like a zombie as I walk through the front door of my house.

I am wreck.

My makeup is smudged and running down my face. My shirt that was neatly tucked in is now wrinkly and untucked in places. The neckline on my blazer is socked in tears and I’m not even wearing shoes anymore.

Why are you being so dramatic Areum, you may think. But in all honesty, I’m not being dramatic.

In all the years I have spent with these girls we have never had an argument this ugly. Today we just hurled rude comments and I felt like everyone just came down on me.

They were the only ones I really trusted.

Now it’s gone. That bond we share is gone. This wasn’t just some argument that can be solved over a simple conversation. It was intense, and they meant what they said.

I need to get over myself.

It hurts inside, it really does. The people who I told everything too. The ones who I showed the most love too, they see me as something so low.

Fresh tears appear, and I climb up the stairs making my way up to my room with heavy feet.

“Areum, your home? Why are you here early?” Donghyuk asks from across the hallway.

I turn quickly so he doesn’t see the mess I look like right now.

“I-I don’t f-feel good."

I slam my bedroom door shut before he can ask any more question and I sob into the covers of my bed. My emotions pile out and I cry to a point where I have no more energy left.

I cry myself to sleep with the darkness now being my only friend.

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