•21•

She had thought about wanting to change for Jongin, so that he will be regretting to turn her down – but then she thought, why would she be thinking like that when she could just change herself for her own self.

Having that motto in her life, Inhae grew up.

Second year on college and she already changed so much.

Confidence was something that Inhae didn’t know that she had but it was oozing so much that she felt so good wearing it around. Everyone liked that new side of hers and she didn’t have anything to complain about.

She was friendlier than she was, making new friends and always greeted people around her even to someone that she didn’t know. Even the people in different courses would know Inhae because she apparently liked to be greeting everyone around her.

She laugh a lot, not even caring about anyone else although Victoria sometimes had to turn away because she was so embarrassed, but Inhae felt great like that.

She felt great about herself.

And the other thing about herself was that – since she had being single for a very long time and was so cool with everything, every time something happened, her mind just seemed to say it, do it, let’s see what happens after.

And that usually happened to Inhae every time – even when she was ordering a simple menu.

“What can I get for a beautiful girl like you?” the guy behind the counter winked.

Inhae looked up. Her smirks tugged almost immediately. “Are you on the list?”

“H – huh?” the guy stuttered. The tip of his ears red and Inhae chuckled.

“Latte with whipped cream, please.” She ordered. Her lips tugged into an amused smirk.

Taeyong.

He got a nice name.

“Anything else?” he smiled.

“Can I get you?”

He pinked again and Inhae chuckled. “I’m kidding.”

Seulgi gawked. “Girl, where did you learn that?”

Inhae shrugged, lip tugging into a teasing grin.

The café was full of people, but the two managed to get their places near the end of the shop, beside the window.

Seulgi cleared . “First of all, you’ve changed. Not just the looks, but like…I’m seeing a new persona right now!”

Inhae rolled her eyes. “You’re being dramatic.”

“You’re not like this in high school! College changed you. I never thought I would be seeing you flirting with someone…”

She just chortled hearing Seulgi commented about everything and honestly, Inhae felt happy seeing her friend once again, talking about things and gossiped about the people from the high school.

“…by the way,” Seulgi cleared . “I saw Sehun’s Twitter last week and oh my god – he changed so much that I think about cheating on my current boyfriend.”

Inhae frowned, taking Seulgi’s phone and stalked her ex – classmate. She raised a brow at some of the pictures, acknowledging on how much he had grown.

“He’s hot.” Inhae simply commented and Seulgi snorted.

“Hot? Please, he’s Fahrenheit, okay?”

Inhae just laughed at her friend comment and sipped on the drink. “Is he single? Let me follow him. Maybe I could pay him to be my boyfriend.” She had joked, but Seulgi seemed to be taken aback by it because she suddenly gasped.

“Wait – hold up – you don’t have a boyfriend?”

She blinked. “Why?”

“I thought you have one! With your looks right now, I thought you have a boy already.”

“Are you saying I’m ugly before?”

Seulgi rolled her eyes. “You know I don’t mean that.”

Inhae just laughed at that.

“I don’t find the need to.”

The friend shook her head, sighing. “You know, if you being single for too long…you will be the hardest to love. Because you’re so comfortable with your own self – independence that you don’t need anyone else.”

Inhae sighed. “I know you take psychology and s, but please don’t go all that on me.”

The two laughed.

“But seriously, you should find someone.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Maybe I should introduce you to someone? Tell me, how do you like your men?”

“Seulgi, seriously…I don’t want.”

“You don’t want to…? Or is it because someone else already has your heart?” Seulgi wiggled her eyebrows.

Inhae knew that friend of hers was joking, but she couldn’t help but to feel the crack in her heart. She bitterly smiled, taking a sip of her drink.

“You’re an idiot.”

The thing about mending about a broken heart is that you learn how to grow up, even if you don’t want to.

And that’s what Inhae went through.

“He was never mine, but losing him broke my heart.”

She remembered saying that once.

Sure, it hurts.

She had lost someone that wasn’t hers in the first place, how could she forget about him? The thing is that – you don’t – you couldn’t.

She still remembered his face.

She still remembered his voice.

She still remembered his smile.

She still remembered his laugh.

She still remembered him.

Inhae cursed herself for thinking about Jongin in some point. She cursed herself for wanting to stalk him through her new Facebook’s account. She forced herself to forget about him. She forced herself to find someone better.

But the thing is, she can’t – she couldn’t.

So, Inhae stopped forcing herself. She stopped being so hard on herself.

She found herself stalking Jongin time to time, and still felt the jealousy whenever he posted and tag a picture of a girl or just anyone else, but she would just shrugged it off later.

She found herself thinking about him from time to time and wondering about him, but she just laughed it out and stopped thinking about it later.

There are reasons that he wasn’t for her.

Maybe she was too good for him, or he was too good for her.

But Inhae knew that if Jongin wasn’t hers, which means that he was someone else’s and she was happy for that and wished him the best.

She finally understands that Jongin will always have a special place in her heart and there’s nothing that she could do about it. And she understands that sometimes people are meant to stay in your heart, but never in your life.

Inhae accepted that Jongin was meant to stay in her heart, but not in her life.