"Mingyu, can we talked alone for a moment?" Jeonghan trying to get them a private space and time after they finished all their schedule for today.

"Is that so important? I really tired right now," Mingyu giving Jeonghan an excuse. 

"Ne...it is...jebal~~," Jeonghan plead.

Mingyu sigh.

"Ok, what is it?" Mingyu giving in to Jeonghan's plead. 

"Let's talk outside, all our members are here, I don't want anyone interrupt us," said Jeonghan.

Mingyu sigh again. He can predict what it is all about. Mingyu walking slowly behind following Jeonghan's lead toward the park near their dorm. After a while Jeonghan stop walking after make sure the place is hidden from people passing by. Mingyu follows Jeonghan's action. 

"So, what is it so important till we have to come here?" ask Mingyu annoyingly.

Jeonghan determine to talk it out with Mingyu about his feeling. He agonized over it for a few days after listen to Wonwoo's words in the practice room that day. He cannot stand Mingyu's avoidance anymore. He loves Mingyu and do not want to lose Mingyu. He need to stop that from happen, he need to take the risk if he wants Mingyu in his life.

"Ok, firstly I am really sorry for that night," Jeonghan try to start the conversation carefully.

"Hyung, can you just stop talking about that," Mingyu feels annoy.

"How can I stop, when that is the reason we became like this," reply Jeonghan.

"So what if we became like this? Is not that you lose all your attention from your dongsaeng, it's just me...it's just Kim Mingyu, you still have Lee Chan, Boo Seungkwan, Lee Seokmin, Xu Minghao and others...," Mingyu raise his voice to stress the point. He close his eyes and take a deep breath try to control his anger.

"Please hyung, I already feel really tired emotionally and physically but if you keep coming to me like this, how can I forget my feeling for you, I really want to sit beside you comfortably, joking with you, but for now, please...," Mingyu continue in half pleading tone.

"Please don't be like this... I...miss you...so badly, I really miss my Mingyu," revealed Jeonghan. 

"Hyung, jebal~~ don't talk to me like that when you didn't feel the same with what I feel," Mingyu trying to stop Jeonghan.

"Who say I didn't feel the same, I love you, Mingyu," Jeonghan tries to convince Mingyu his feeling and at the same time he feels a bit relief when the feeling that he being keep all along has been pour out. 

"I know you love me..you love Seungkwan, Hansol, Chan, Seokmin, Jun Hyung, Jisoo hyung all the members but...," Mingyu fling back to Jeonghan. 

"Ani~~ I love you...not as dongsaeng...I love you more than that...I want...I want you to be mine," Jeonghan cut off Mingyu words to show his determination in his confession. Even his voice stuttering, he want Mingyu to know his feeling.

'Did Jeonghan want to play with him. What is Jeonghan up to actually,' think Mingyu while scrunch his forehead.

"What actually you want from me? Are you playing with me now? You just said you love me but at the same time you told Seungcheol hyung I am just your dongsaeng. I clearly heard it you said to him that night," Mingyu feels annoy and confuse.

Jeonghan is surprised. He recalled that Jisoo mentioned about he bumped into Mingyu at the party. So, Mingyu heard the conversation between him and Seungcheol. That is the reason why Mingyu became like this.

"Mianhae~ I didn't mean that...when Seungcheol suddenly ask me about you, I just can't tell the truth...mianhae~~" explained Jeonghan.

"It is because you love him not me," Mingyu responds firmly.  

"aniya~~I clearly know who is the person I love," deny Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan tries to reach Mingyu's hand to assure the younger that the one he love is Mingyu but Mingyu pulls his hand away and take a step backwards. He already confused with Jeonghan's words furthermore with Jeonghan's action.

"I don't know what to think right now. That night, the time when I really need you the most but you chose to go to Seungcheol hyung," Mingyu remember back the heart ache he feels that night.

"I really have no idea about that, I learned it after I came back from the party, mianhae Mingyu," Jeonghan pleading. 

"It is not just that night, sometimes when I try to hold your hand, you pull away your hand. But you never do that to Seungcheol hyung. You casually hug everyone but not me. When I choose you, sometimes you just push me away. You act lovey dovey with Seungcheol hyung in front of me while you know how I feel about you. You seldom choose me when you were given the option. I always be your 5th or 6th choice...not even 2nd or 3rd... So, how am I supposed to believe what you said? I distance myself from you because I need to sort out my feeling to accept the reality and see you with Seungcheol hyung. So, just let me do that, hyung," Mingyu spill out his real feeling.

In his eyes now, all Jeonghan's words and action clearly show his love for Seungcheol and he also know Seungcheol loves Jeonghan too. Because of that he decided to distance himself.

"Mingyu~~... please believe me... I admit Seungcheol has been telling me that he like me and I already reject it but you should know Seungcheol is Seungcheol...never stop at rejection. You are always the 1st in my heart wherever I go and whatever I do. I just couldn't show it. I...I..." Jeonghan stop his words. He do not know how to explain why all of this happen.

"How am I supposed to believe you hyung when you didn't come to me that night... instead you went to Seungcheol hyung's party and you said to him I just your dongsaeng. Besides that, I also clearly aware of your affection toward your dongsaengs...especially chan, seungkwan & seokmin. Sometimes I feel offended when you rejected my touch and you always choose them instead of me but i tried to understand you. I tried to brush it off everytime it happened. But after what happened in that night, I know I am no better than them, not to mention than Seungcheol hyung. I am sure if they call you, you will come to them whenever or wherever you are. So, i know I should back off. It is shame of me if I continue to pursue you when I know there is no place for me in your heart...So, please hyung~~" Mingyu's voice starts to crack. He couldn't continue what he want to say. He try to take a long breath. He know his tears will broke down if he continue.

Jeonghan's sight start blurry with his eyes brimmed with tears. He tries to look at Mingyu's face. He can see the sadness and pain in Mingyu's eyes. He didn't realize all of his actions hurt Mingyu too much. Mingyu's eyes is always full of care, love and warmth just like his shoulder and hand. Everytime Mingyu hold his hand, he want to hold that warm hand forever but his insecure feelings tell him that Mingyu is same just like his ex-lover. With the quality Mingyu posses, Mingyu can get a better person anytime. So, everytime he feels insecure he will take a step back and go to others. But what he feels right now is worse. The pain in Mingyu's eyes really stab his heart. The feeling of losing attention, care & love from his beloved one frightening him. He wants Mingyu in his life. 

"I never lose my courage in whatever I did before...but now, I can feel I am losing it. I feel that I am losing myself...I cannot feel any passion in whatever I do now...So, please let me find it again. You should go to the person who you really love. I should go to find myself again. If you do this because you afraid that I hate you, you don't need to worry. I just need time, I will try my best...so later I can go to you again as your dongsaeng...But for now...I beg you, please...," Mingyu get control to his cracking voice this time but his tears slid down his face. 

Mingyu turns his back to Jeonghan to hide his tears. But Jeonghan see it. Jeonghan's tears also coming from his misty eyes after heard what Mingyu said. He feels a pang of guilt & regret. How he snatched Mingyu's courage & bright personality because of his insecurity. His urge to let Mingyu know all about him becoming so strong. He is bad in expressing his own feeling. His words will be messed up when he express himself but the one thing he knows right now he don't want to see Mingyu crying like this ever again. Especially because of him.

"Ka..jima...jebal~~," Jeonghan weeping while his two hand caught Mingyu's left hands trying to stop Mingyu from walk away. Jeonghan's gaze drop to their hand. Mingyu trying to release his hand but Jeonghan hold it tightly. Jeonghan strives to control his sobbing while trying his best to arrange his words. 

"I really...love you...for real. For all what I did to you, I am really sorry. I really didn't mean to hurt you like this... Everytime...everytime I push you away is not because of I didn't love you. I love you...but I am...I am...too scared being in a relationship again...giving all I have to someone I love and lastly...being betrayed...being hurt again...being dumped for someone else better than me. At first, I try to deny my feelings for you... Try to not falling in love with you...but everytime seeing your brightness...feel your warmth & love, I cannot stop it, I can feel it become stronger...When you hold someone else hand...I always want that hand to be my hand. But there are the times I feel, I don't deserve you...so I retreat but it feel bad...when you start avoiding me...I feel really lost. The last two weeks is the worst for me...not only because of I lose you but...seeing you tiring yourself contain your resent to me make me very upset."

Mingyu still confused but half of him want to believe all the words Jeonghan poured because he knew Jeonghan is not the person who easy to cry but now he is crying his eyes out. Jeonghan is sobbing. He try to take a deep breath.

"So~~ jebal don't ignore me anymore, if you want mad at me it's ok, just do it like you did just now, just yelling at me but don't avoid me," Jeonghan begging with his crying voice. His breath start stuttering.

Mingyu turns his body to face Jeonghan. Looking down at him, their gaze met. Mingyu try to reaffirm the truth behind Jeonghan's words in his crying eyes. Mingyu could feel Jeonghan tighten his hold as he don't want to let the hand go forever after he saw a tear slids down Mingyu's face. 

"I am really sorry...I realize...I was being selfish...In order to protect my own heart from being hurt, I hurt you instead. I was too scared... Mianhae...jeongmal mianhae...I always scared...scared that you will leave me...after you find someone else...better....You are the perfect Kim Mingyu who is good in everything you do while I am...just Yoon Jeonghan who lack in everything I do...," Jeonghan trying hard to pour his heart out in between his stuttering breath. He desperately want Mingyu to know all his surpressed feeling. 

"Hyung~~" Mingyu pulls Jeonghan closer to him softly and wrap his arm around Jeonghan's shoulder. 

He could feel his hyung's insecurity. From the day he knew Jeonghan, he could see the insecurity in his hyung but he thought that feelings already disappeared a long ago with the quiet and reserved Yoon Jeonghan but without his knowledge it is still there till now. He feels guilty he can't notice it earlier. He supposed to notice that feeling behind Jeonghan's habit checking 's love for him. 

Jeonghan immediately feel the warm from Mingyu's embrace. The warm and love which he couldn't feel for a while. He miss it so much. He lays his arms around Mingyu's waist and put his forehead on Mingyu's shoulder. His sobbing become louder.

"You are my beautiful Yoon Jeonghan, my kind-hearted Yoon Jeonghan, the person who dump you is the fool," Mingyu speak very softly with his husky voice while patting his hyung's back, comforting. Jeonghan cries and cries, he does not know the reason he cries anymore. It started because of his frightening of losing Mingyu, seing Mingyu being hurt and now he is crying relief listening to Mingyu's comforting voice over his insecurity, relief for at last Mingyu believe in him. He tightened his grip on Mingyu's waist. Mingyu doing the same to Jeonghan. They stay at this position for a while. 

When Mingyu sure Jeonghan has getting calmer. He loosening his arms from Jeonghan's shoulder. He cupped Jeonghan's face with his two hands and wipe the tears away from Jeonghan's cheek with his thumb.

"Mianhae, I hurt you...," said Jeonghan while look at Mingyu with his teary eyes.

"Aniya...don't say it anymore...," Mingyu smile to Jeonghan while wipe away again the falling tears in Jeonghan's face.  

"Let's find the place to sit ok." 

Jeonghan nodding his head while entwine his fingers with Mingyu's and follow Mingyu's lead. 

They sit on the nearest bench. Jeonghan keep tighten their fingers. After what they went through he doesn't want to be apart with Mingyu, at least for today. 

"Are you cold?" Mingyu asking.

"Aniya~~I have the warmest hand holding my hand right now," Jeonghan smile. 

Mingyu chuckled listen to Jeonghan. 

"So, is today our 1st day?" Mingyu tries to look at Jeonghan's face. The face which he's been yearning to look at. 

"We can say that...,"Jeonghan reply shyly. 

"Jeonghan-ie hyung~~," Mingyu call Jeonghan's name using his deep husky voice.

"ummm...," Jeonghan answer softly.

"Yoon Jeonghan~~," Mingyu call again.

"wae?~~" Jeonghan turns his face to Mingyu.

"I really miss to call that name and I miss to see this beautiful face," answer Mingyu. 

"My face is a messed right now, just look at other places today but starting tomorrow you cannot look at other places anymore," Jeonghan smiles and leans his head to Mingyu's shoulder. 

Mingyu laughs at Jeonghan's answer. He feel really happy right now. How the sadness turned into happiness in the blink of an eye, he is still amaze by that fact. They just sit there quietly leaning at each other looking at the star in the sky. 

"Mingyu, please don't leave me ermmmm?" Jeonghan opens his mouth after a while.

Mingyu held both Jeonghan's shoulder and bring their body to face each other. He looks at every inch of Jeonghan's face, he can tell Jeonghan still feel insecure. It shows in Jeonghan's expression. It will be his task and responsibility to make Jeonghan throw that feeling away. 

"Why would I leave my beautiful and kind Yoon Jeonghan?" ask Mingyu.

"I don't know, maybe you will meet a person who is more beautiful than me or richer and more popular," Jeonghan drop his gaze to the ground while answering Mingyu's question. 

"Look at me, if people in this world looking for the perfect person, they will be like that, leave someone for someone better and leave again and again. I am not like that, for me perfect person don't exist. Two imperfect person will complement each other. For me, the person is you. If you did not reciprocate my love, maybe I will falling in love again when I meet someone just like you. That's why I really having hard time these past two weeks to forget you. Even I told Wonwoo hyung I can forget you, actually I do not have confidence I can do that. Another reason is because of Yoon Jeonghan is my first love, people said first love is unforgettable," Mingyu smiles softly looking at Jeonghan's face. 

Jeonghan can feel the tender love from Mingyu's words and his eyes. He knows Mingyu is the person who honest with his feeling. Jeonghan hugs Mingyu tightly. He feel really grateful being Mingyu's first love. First love indeed unforgettable but being dumped by first love like him is really unforgettable nightmare. However, after listen to Mingyu's words, he want to forget his heartache first love, he want to give his all to Mingyu. His true love. Mingyu wrapping his arms around Jeonghan's body. 

"So, you don't have to worry hyung, I won't leave you...even if u want to leave me, I won't allow you to do that," Mingyu try lessen the seriousness in their conversation. 

Jeonghan muffled his laugh on Mingyu's shoulder.

"Mingyu...Kim Mingyu...," called Jeonghan softly. 

"Ne, hyung," answered Mingyu.

"Neomu...gomapgo... neomu...saranghae," said Jeonghan before tighten his hug.

"Nado...neomu neomu saranghae, don't forget it," reply Mingyu.

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how is it? Heheehehehe...I hope you enjoy their confrontation and Jeonghan's confession. ^^ Thanks for reading...