He never know heart broken can be so much full of terrible feelings. He can feel the pain, the anger, the sadness, the hopeless, the emptiness mixed together and it make him so tired. This is his first time being in love and care about someone. Being invest so much emotionally and all he got. When he heard Jeonghan said to Seungcheol that he is just one of his dongsaengs, the last hope he hang on just disappeared right away, every dream he has been wish before seem like being step on and being crushed. His heart aching like being cut by unsharpened knife. Jeonghan never respond properly to his feeling but Jeonghan clearly know Mingyu's feeling towards him. Sometimes he thought Jeonghan and him have mutual feelings but sometimes he don't. However, he hang on the hope into Jeonghan's sweet action eventhough sometimes make him confused. When he just try to sit quietly in the corner or the day he doesn't have time to join conversation with members, Jeonghan will come to him, talking sweetly or can he say flirting?? sometimes leaning to his shoulder while entwine their fingers talking about what were they doing for the day all night. When Mingyu try to become close or having skinship with someone else, Jeonghan always try to catch his attention. He remember the times when he grab Jisoo's arm who happen to be next to him when entering the horror house in one of their variety shows, Jeonghan who originally standing behind them just grab his hand and entwine their fingers tightly and make Jisoo switch his position with his. During their practice break, after he hug Jun as the consolation because of members make fun of Jun for his unfunny joke, Jeonghan pull and make Mingyu sit beside him and quickly cross him arm with Mingyu's arm. However there are the times when Jeonghan rejection of his touch make Mingyu feel offended but he try to understand every rejection Jeonghan put his through. But now, all the rejection has been answered. He is just one of Jeonghan's dongsaeng. 

"Why I cannot see it?" Mingyu keep talking to himself

"Why you are so stupid Mingyu? Why does it hurt so much?" Mingyu closes his eyes and tears just falling from corner of his eyes. 

 His first love, one sided love ended here. What happen just now, replaying in his head. 

----

~~Mingyu's flashback~~

He really need an accompany right now. The news he received from their manager this morning makes he really down. He's been prepare for the role he has been offered for the 6 months long. He went for the casting, first, second & third round audition and at last being picked for the role he has been dream since he was child. He was very happy however, this morning he is being told the role is being taken from him and be given to the other actor. He know in this industry, anything like this can be happen anytime but being offered for the role, been prepared wholeheartedly and lastly being replaced by other person make him feel extremely down. 

"Jeonghan hyung, can you come here, for a moment?" request Mingyu on the phone. When he feel down or he need someone by his side, he always hope Jeonghan will be the one. 

"Where are you now?" reply Jeonghan.

"Usual place," answer Mingyu short. This restaurant will be the usual place for them to hang out because the peace atmosphere and uncrowded.

"I don't know whether I can make it or not, I still in the office," said Jeonghan. 

"Hyung...," Mingyu want to continue but Jeonghan cut it off

"Mingyu ya...Can you call me later or I will call you later...I got to go, Jihoon & Bumjoo hyung is calling for me, I don't know what they want, ok bye." Jeonghan cut the line.

Mingyu sigh and looking at his phone. Mingyu spend the time alone trying to calm himself down. He try to think a lot of positive consequences will come from what happened. Maybe next time will be his chance. The disappointment feeling might not go in the short time but it will later. At 11:00 pm he got message from their group chat, Seungcheol mentioning he is throwing the midnight party for his brother's graduation. The venue will be 3 block from Mingyu's location now. However Mingyu have no desire to be in the crowded place right now. He just reply he couldn't join. He get out from the restaurant and go the Han River and strolling alone. He take a sit at one of the benches. His phone ringing. 

"Mingyu, where are you? come over here," Mingyu listen to Minghao's voice on the line. 

"I won't join," reply Mingyu.

"Yah...don't be so down, come here get some fun, all our members will be here," ask Minghao knowing Mingyu's condition over this morning news. 

"All?" ask Mingyu start to feel slightly hurt.

"Yes, all except you, Wonwoo hyung and Jisoo hyung, Wonwoo hyung is at his parent's home but Jisoo hyung is on his way," said Minghao.

Mingyu cannot stop his feeling from being hurt by Jeonghan's choice. It happen again. Usually he will brush it off but tonight he really feel hurt. It really hurt because this time he really need someone by his side. Mingyu just rush to the party venue, he do not know what he want to do there, confront Jeonghan or get some fun, he don't know and when he reach there, that is the time he heard Jeonghan and Seungcheol conversation that break his heart. Without greet or let anybody know he rushed out left the party.