''It's okay to be scared.

Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave.''

~

Seungri smiled when he finally ran out of Jiyong's house.

He leaned his back on a tree and laughed.

He did it.

He looked at his palms, trembling so hard.

He didn't need to see himself on a mirror for knew that his eyes were red as .

He quickly sighed and walked to their -place.

''Seungri!--What the ---God--Hey--Are you okay?'' Shin quickly grabbed him by his waist and helped him to sit on the old couch.

''N-now.''

Shin kept looking at Seungri with shock but then he understood what he meant.He quickly ran towards the other side of room and grab his backpack.

Seungri leaned his head on the couch and closed his eyes, let himself feel the thing he missed so bad.

How ing bad.

When he started to laugh, Shin waited silently for him to came to his senses.

''Jiyong did it, right?''

Seungri only nodded, still feeling too light.

''That always thinks---''

''Watch your word.'' Seungri suddenly lifted his head and looked at the other.

''Whatever.'' Shin stood up and threw the bag on the couch. ''This was the last one, we need to find money.''

''Did someone said-- money?'' Jonghyun grinned and walked inside the place, it wasn't even a house, just a place they used for get high, really high.

''Your hero is here with a plan that will save your asses!'' 

Well, Seungri didn't thought that awesome plan had a knife in it.

''What's this?'' Seungri asked, when Jonghyun made him hold the knife.

''A banana.'' Jonghyun rolled his eyes.

''Take it back--'' He tried to give it back but Jonghyun pushed his hand.

''The only thing you need to do is stand here, okay? Look Seungri, if there is no money, there is no candy.And if there is no candy, there is no you.Be a good boy.'' He grinned and ruffled Seungri's hair.

Seungri paused a little, but then he nodded, still holding the knife.

''Good, if the guy tries to run away and call for help, just scare him okay?-- Everything will be allright, don't worry.''

Seungri nodded again and Jonghyun smiled.

''Don't be scared, it will be okay.''

But it wasn't okay.

When the guy ran out of the market, he saw Seungri standing there with a knife.He got more scared but he didn't want to die in three junkies hands.Seungri was frozen because he never thought he would run out of the building, seeing that the man tried to grab his knife. 

If there is no candies, there is no you.

''--- Is he dead?''

Jonghyun quickly controlled his pulse.

''He is-- dead.''

Seungri kept looking at the body, which was laying on the ground.His looks were empty, he couldn't even feel anything.

''It's okay---Look at me!'' Shin quickly cupped his cheeks, tried to make him understand. ''It happens---- It's okay Seungri!-- We were never here---Come on.''

''Let's go.'' Jonghyun said, grabbing the bag.

Seungri kept looking at the man.

If there is no candies, there is no you.

He killed a man.

But it wasn't important.

People was always dying.

..right?

When this money was out of their hands, they will do the same thing again.

Did he need to be a thief? He would do that.

Did he need to be a killer? He was, already.

He would do anything.

Because if there was no money, there was no him.

When Seungri suddenly opened his eyes, he blinked for few seconds.

ing nightmare.

He quickly turned his head, for the see the person he wanted to see so bad.And when he saw Jiyong sleeping beside him, he sighed deeply.

Was it like this?

The story was just like that, right? Same with his nightmare?

He needed to find money, and he wasn't able to work.How would he find the money?

Wouldn't it happen soon or later?

Seungri breathed and remembered the feeling in his nightmare.

Not the feeling of killing someone.

The feel he remembered was, going numb.

Only focused on what he was trying to get.

He would do anything for get the money, or do anything what others wanted him to do.

It was, terrifying.

It was letting them steal your life.

Letting some candies, steal your life.

He turned to other side, looked at the carafe, which was there for the last 20 days.

He didn't know why but seeing Jiyong coming inside with the carafe in his hands every night, was so damn cute.

It was cute, how he even thought about the little things.

He turned his body to Jiyong after drinking a glass of water.

How many nights he didn't sleep because of him?

How many times he his back when he kept throwing up in the middle of night?

How many nights of his life was ruined because of Seungri?

How many days he kept being tired because of the previous night?

How many times.. his heart got broken?

Seungri could remember how awful was the first week.He was completely out of control.There was nothing he didn't offered Jiyong for let him go.Even having .

When Jiyong didn't accept anything he was going crazy, keep yelling, saying anything that he thought it could hurt Jiyong.Older wasn't fighting with him, saying nothing.But sometimes Seungri was catching his looks.

Who wouldn't be sad?

The person you love was offering you to have .And after seconds, he was shouting that he didn't love you even a bit.

When the alarm sound filled the room, Jiyong groaned.

''Good morning.'' He smiled and Seungri couldn't believe how could he still smile when he saw him.His smile was still the same, after all the things.

''Is everything okay?'' Suddenly his smile disappeared and he looked at Seungri with worry, seeing him awake in that hour.

''I need to pee.''

Jiyong chuckled and buried his head on the pillow again.

''You scared me.'' He said, still smiling.

''I keep going to toilet because of you.Take this carafe away.''

Jiyong smiled even wider and rolled around, looked at Seungri with his morning face.

Seungri wondered if he even deserved this view.

''Stop grumbling early in morning.''

''No.'' Seungri said, stood up for go to toilet. ''If you put it beside me, I keep drinking water.I'm tired of peeing Jiyong, seriously why do you---''

He kept talking from the toilet and Jiyong smiled while getting up.

He could grumble all day, it wasn't a problem for Jiyong.If he was around, Jiyong was okay with everything.

''Oh my God Ri---Did you drink all of it?'' 

''Yes-- Draining of the water inside me can take 3 minutes.''

Jiyong chuckled again and while dressing up.After Seungri get out of the bathroom, it was his turn and after 15 minutes, he was ready.

''Hyung! Come on! You're already late---Hurry up!''

''Should I wear the other shirt?''

''No--Come on!'' Seungri pushed him towards the door.

''Ri, I think if I wear the other one---Let me--''

Seungri sighed deeply.

''Go.''

Jiyong rolled his eyes but when he looked at his watch, he noticed that he was really late.

''---I should go--See you, Ri!''

When Jiyong closed the door and ran down the stair, Seungri smiled.

He walked towards the kitchen, like he always did, he was going to clean the table, which they had breakfast.But when he saw something on the table, his smile disappeared.

A key.