Chapter four

Following in a world without it


In my dreams, I always waited for my prince. He who would come and take my heart. And I would know that it is my destiny. But this time fate is playing with me. And I'm tired of playing. Why when the handsome prince appeared in my life, I did not have the heart to ask him to stay. This prince is not mine.

I have an important event today. Fan meeting. I love my fans. And I want to return all the love they give me. Our meeting will be unforgettable. My heart is filled with gratitude. And happiness for these moments. Where I share a little of my life with them, and I feel connected to them.

As I prepare for the show, a message arrives:
"Shin Hye-ah, good luck today! Will be all right! Fight! "Hong Ki always knew how to cheer me up. His message made my smile widen further, and my heart soothe its rhythm.
Then one more message arrives:
"Shin Hye-ah, good luck in the fan meeting today! I'm rooting for you! Hugs from your friend Yong. "I confess this made me a bit surprised, but in a good way. Yong Hwa's message was more a relief from nervousness and anxiety. And even now knowing his feelings, I would not avoid him, not at least until we could have a conversation about it. At the moment I would leave things as they are.

After a few minutes, after thanking my loyal friends, another message:
"That today her meeting with the fans made her very happy. They are my sincerest wishes of happiness to you! I'm still waiting for an answer. Hugs, Jong Suk. "Well, I even expected that. After all, Jong Suk had confessed to me that day, and was waiting for my decision. And I had no idea what to do with it.

After a few minutes, another message. But this was totally unexpected:
"Avant-Hye, I learned that today is your gathering of fans. I remember when we used to share everything with each other, and I always knew when you had some commitment. But now we're so close, and at the same time, so far away. We do not talk to each other like we did before, and we do not see each other very often. I miss your company, our laughter. One day when you're not too busy, you can call me, and we can have coffee and reminisce about old times ... Hye, I sincerely hope you will. There are some things I need to tell you before I enlist. From your Oppa. "
My heart began to beat too fast. I could not concentrate on anything else. Oppa's words echoed in my mind like a carousel. Whirling around, repeating every word over and over until he could process everything he wrote. Did Oppa really feel this way? Did he miss me? Of our conversations? I did not know he felt that way. I had no idea. And the most frightening thing was that he wanted to find me.

Of course we've gone out before, but never the two of us alone. Always in a group. After all, I'm just a friend, not my girlfriend. Never the girlfriend. I had grown accustomed to loving him from afar. Admire it and not have it. So it's surreal to believe in this message he sent me. But curiosity killed the cat, and I, being very curious, want more than anyone to know what he has to tell me. But should I go? Oppa has a girlfriend now. Will not she be jealous? Will you feel uncomfortable? I do not want to disturb Oppa's life. He more than anyone deserves to be happy. And I'm very fond of him always.

Fanmeeting started, and I was trying to focus on my fans, to stop thinking about the messages I received. With each song, I could get more and more in touch with my fans. And the atmosphere was getting more and more enjoyable. And the whole concert was unforgettable.

When the meeting was over, and everyone had already left the theater, I returned to the stage. I closed my eyes, wondering how many times I shared a stage with him. And how good it was to be together on stage. The complicity was mutual. The feeling too. At least on my part. The memories came back like a flood, and it was inevitable that tears would fall. I wiped off the corner of my hand, and kept walking across the stage.

Without words

I should have ignored what I felt
What I felt deep in my heart
Coz now I do not even know
How to start letting you go
Oh yeah ...
It hurts so bad I can not explain
I should've just ran away
Beside you, I just can not stay
Coz I know that we will not be
More than friends it's clear to see
Oh yeah ...
Coz in your heart, where is she?
Without words you have shown me what love is
Without words your name is what my heart screams
It breaks I just know you really love her
I will try my best that it will not show
Without words you have made me much pain
Without words it feels like I have drowned in the rain
And I was such a fool to believe that there really was you and me
I really do not know why
I never know how to say goodbye.
Without words you have shown me what love is
Without words your name is what my heart screams
It breaks I just know you really love her
I will try my best that it will not show
Without words you have shown me what love is
Without words your name is what my heart screams
It breaks I just know you really love her
I will try my best that it will not show
I should have ignored what I felt
What I felt deep in my heart
Coz now I do not even know
How to start letting you go
Oh yeah ...
It hurts so bad I can not explain

 

Somewhere in Japan

I've been thinking for days, months, years. It did not seem like an easy decision. I wanted our friendship to last forever. But somewhere in time, something has changed. I do not know exactly what happened, but at some point, I fell in love. I fell in love with this girl. Innocent Shin Hye, at the height of his twenties, can not even see beyond his eyes. Innocent girl, what have you done to me? I did not plan this. I tried so hard to get away from her, but I did not feel like this with anyone before. And now, I can no longer bear the idea of ​​leaving for two years without even telling him the truth.
Yes I have a girlfriend, I know. Is it not for me to think of her right now? I like her. Of course I like her. We get along, I can not deny. But it's not the same feeling. Never was the same feeling with any other woman. And it may already be too late, after all, Jong Suk is really interested. Not to mention all the others who kept their admiration for her at a distance. Yes, the distance, of course, because they fear death, and my anger. During these years, I managed to drive them all away. Everyone kept their distance in respect to me. I think it's time for me and Jong Suk to have a little talk.