Nothing went as planned.


As Jong Suk guided my hand to the dance floor, my heart was beating with adrenaline, at the same time that I was already experiencing symptoms of late regret. What was I doing?

When we reached the lane, I felt Jong Suk's hand slide down my waist. At the same time I looked at the direction Oppa was sitting. He had seen me. And her face was boiling with rage. I do not think he was liking what he saw. His hands were no longer on that plastic woman's shoulders. And his attention was all over me and Jong Suk, who smiled brazenly towards him. I had already sensed that was not a good idea. Now I was certain of that statement.

I quickly removed Jong Suk's hand from my waist, embarrassed by Oppa's gaze toward us. As if calculating my next step. But in a fraction of a second, he was already in front of me, face cold as winter, taking my hand firmly and taking me practically dragged away from Jong Suk, who was in shock with that sudden interference.

As I walked away from Jong Suk, Oppa held my arm tightly, and I looked back just in time to see that guy standing there, staring at me. Oppa stopped moving as we headed out the back door. He dropped my hand abruptly and started to scream.

"What do you think you're doing?" He shouted loudly, enjoying no one listening to the sound of the pub.

"I was doing the same as you." I replied in the same tone, looking deep into those dark eyes.

"Same as me? Really? Because dancing in that guy looks like something else to me." he said, lowering his voice slightly but not losing his anger at him.

"And what do you think I was doing?" I asked, almost in a tearful voice, trying to hold back the confusion of my feelings

"I saw Shin Hye! I saw! You rubbing yourself in that little guy. I just can not understand why. Why did you do this to me?" He said, practically begging for an answer.

"Is this what you think of me, Oppa?" I replied, the instant a tear trickled down my face. "I saw you Oppa. I saw you sitting with that woman, with her arm on your shoulder, and laughing, laughing the way I thought it was mine. I felt jealous of Oppa, how could I not feel it? It was like a knife crossing my chest. And it hurt too much. It hurt so much. This feeling of being deceived. Betrayed. So I purposely did what I did. I used Jong Suk to hit you. I wanted you to feel the pain I was feeling." I managed to say, through the tears that came down

"I ... Hye ... I can explain. I did not know, I know I need to explain everything to you. What you saw, is not what you're thinking ... " he said, and I stared at him this instant, seeing the fear in his eyes

"No!!! You do not have to explain anything to me, I do not want to hear!" I shouted, scaring him. "If you think you can fool me is wrong. I will not let you do that. I know you too much to believe it was nothing. I've always been by your side, and I know you do not love me as much as I love you, but I was happy about it. Happy only if you want me. After so many years, I'm still in illusion. But now it's enough. I'm tired of deceiving myself. And today it just proved to me that I need to forget you." I was badly hurt. My heart almost did not beat, and I did not have the strength to continue arguing.

But it seems he had not given up yet, or was not understanding. Because he took my hands and stared at me, biting his lips. I could feel his hands trembling at my touch, and he was struggling not to cry in front of me.

"How can you say these things? How can you believe that I do not love you? I love you with all the strength of my being! Like you're a part of me. That woman you saw is a noona, an old friend, and that's all. I hugged her because today is her birthday, and I was congratulating her. Only that. I would never do anything to hurt you, I swear. How could I live without you Hye? I can not. I do not even want to think about that possibility. You're everything to me. My world, my princess, my most precious possession. What else do I have to do to believe me? Say it and I will. Do you want me to tell the world how much I love you? Tomorrow I'm going to call a press conference and let everyone know that I'm hopelessly in love with Park Shin Hye. I do."

I did not know what to say at that moment. I believed him. And in those sincere words. But my heart is too stubborn, and maybe some distance was better so I could think of everything that had happened tonight. Oppa was waiting for an answer.

"Oppa ... you do not need to call the press. I believe you. But my heart was put to the test today, and I was very foolish. At first I doubted you without even listening to your side. I feel so sorry for that. I feel that now it is I who am not deserving of your love. I need some time to think." I replied, the words coming out like whispers.

"A time? You're not serious, are you?" He asked, his face terrified with fear.

"I'm serious about Oppa. It will be better this way. I promise to return to you as soon as this confusion in my heart calms down. "

"You do not have to do this. You can stay by my side and we can sort it all out together. "

"Do not you understand Oppa? I need space. "

"Do not you love me anymore?" He said, his voice choking with sadness

"Of course I love you Oppa! Do not doubt my love. But I need some time alone. Can you respect that? "I asked softly, looking at him, who was staring at me, begging me to change my mind. He held my hands tighter, and laid soft kisses on them. I closed my eyes, feeling that inexplicable sensation. And then when I opened my eyes, I heard him say

"It's all right. If that's what you want, I'll respect your space. I'll be here, waiting for you to come back. "

We said goodbye with a long hug. Oppa wiped the tears from my face with her fingertips. I went back into the pub, looking for Krystal and the girls. I saw Sung Kyung from a distance, laughing excitedly. I approached them and told them I was going home. When leaving the pub, neither sign of Jong Suk or Oppa. I called a cab, and within minutes I was home. Upon arriving in my room, my cell phone whistled.

"I'll be waiting for you. Even if they take days, months or years. I'll wait you come back to me. My princess, never forget that I love you. I will love you until the day I die. Eternally yours, Keun Suk. "

I was late for sleep that night. The tears and sobs muffled by the pillow were slow to pass. Had I made the right decision?