“Isn’t your flight in three days? Why are you coming back early? Is there anything wrong? Why I can’t call you for these past days?” Sojung rushed to Yewon’s bedroom as soon she know that her sister already arrive from Europe at evening.

“Unnie I’m tired. Can we just talk tomorrow? I really want to sleep” Yewon answer didn’t bother to spare a look to Sojung. She just hiding herself in the blanket.

“Are you okay Yewon?”

“I’m okay unnie. I’m just really tired. I can’t sleep in the flight and I feels like I’m going crazy already” Yewon say. Lying, but she have to.

“Al—alright then. Have a good rest and let’s talk tomorrow okay?” Sojung then just patted Yewon’s shoulder slowly before left Yewon’s room.

Right after the older girl closer her room door, Yewon let out her tears that she has been hold since earlier. Cry and cry again. Her mind just busy thinking about Eunbi. She is busy thinking about her life after she left Europe. Leaving Europe means she have to start her new life. Her new life without Eunbi, her new life where she have to accept that between her and Eunbi there is nothing else that they are not meant for each other. 

She is tired. Tired from crying so hard. Tired from everything. She don’t want to think about Eunbi anymore. She want to sleep because she really tired from everything. Can’t wait anymore, Yewon open her drawer and take a four of sleeping pills from the bottles. Yewon did have an insomnia, but she never take that much and that night she did. For her, she just want to take sleep as soon as she can, because she is really tired.

………………………………………………………………

“I’m really sorry for yesterday, mother. I’m being rude to Yuju unnie. I—I didn’t meant to shout at her” Sinb apologize to the old woman that rest in the room. The old woman just let out a motherly smile as her hand patted Sinb’s head softly.

“It’s alright. I understand you. There must be a misunderstanding between you and her right? I will talk to Yuna later, so don’t be worry okay?”

“No mother. It’s okay. I will talk to her later, I will apologize to her. It is my fault after all, it’s just I feel sorry that I raised my voice to your daughter. I really didn’t meant it. I’m sorry”

“Eunbi, both you and Yuna are my daughter, I treat Yuna same like I treat you. I love both of you same, so please don’t mention that kind of thing”

“But still, I’m just a—“ Sinb can’t continue her words her the old woman shushing her. So she just throw herself in the old woman’s arm with a little tears fall from her eyes.

She is trying hard to not let out a tears in those hug but seems she’s failed. Her tears start falling like a waterfall as her mind and her heart remember everything. How she feel thankful to Yuju’s mother. The old woman has been take care of her since she was just in her sixth grade. The old woman is the one who saved her from the car accident that killed all her family. Basically, Yuju’s family always take care of Sinb, they are treated Sinb as if she is the part of Choi’s family.  

‘I’m sorry mother. I’m sorry that I lie to you. I’m sorry that I lie to you and Yuju unnie. Trust me, I really want to tell the truth to both of you but I can’t. I really can’t’

“I’m sorry mother” Sinb say, tighten her hug more. Searching for some comfort that she barely feel.

……………………………………………

“Dad please don’t do this! I’m begging you!”

“I don’t care!”

“Dad please! How I’m gonna save mom of you take this! Mom need help but why are you being like this?!”

“Do I look like I care? Just tell that orphan to get some help! Many times I told your mother to throw that girl out but she just being such a stupid! Tell that orphan to do something useful instead live and eat in this house without paying anything!!”

“Dad! Why would you say that?! She might be heard you! Stop saying that, it’s not even her fault, why are you being like this?”

“Let go of my hand and stay away from me! You are not my daughter and tell that old woman to piss off!”

“You are too much dad! Get out from here! Get out!”

“You don’t have to tell me, I can go out from here with a light step!  What an ungrateful young girl!”

She is crying again. She hate herself. She hate herself for being selfish. Why would she felt hurt by the man’s words? He is true all the time. She just an intruder who suddenly come to the family years ago. She really hate being her, how can she still think about her relationship with Yewon when Yuju’s problem is way more important than her’s. Sinb hate herself. She really hate being her.

“My favorite girl is crying again~~ What should I do~~?”Yerin’s voice snapped Sinb from her daydream as she wipe her tears quickly.

“Yerinnie is bad! She let her favorite girl crying! Yerrinnie is bad!” Yerin say again, raising her voice and hit herself with the stuffed animal that on her hand.

“Stop it~Yerin”

“But you are crying? What I should do?” Yerin ask cutely.

“I’m okay. Ahhh~~ here, for the house” Sinb say then take out a few dollars from her wallet and handed it to Yerin, make the girl stare at her.

“Chloe~Please”

“I already owe you a lot Yerin”

“Arghhh!! Four years Chloe! Four years! Can you and Yuju stop doing this kind of thing every single month?! It’s four years!” Yerin mad. Her cute voice and cutie face suddenly disappear when Sinb give the money to her.

“But Yerin-ah, we have to. We owe you a lot. We owe you for all the time, since the time we stay here”

“We stayed here together, this is our place together! Why you still keep doing this Chloe? Please don’t be like this.”

Sinb lowered her head. Sometimes Yerin is being too much. Being too much kind to them. For her, Yerin really did a lot for them, Yerin helped them a lot. She just don’t want to take Yerin’s kindness for advantage.

“This is the last Chloe. If you keep insist giving me the money, I don’t want to talk to you!” Yerin last words before left Sinb alone in the living room.

Yerin didn’t meant to leave Chloe just like that in the living room. She know that Chloe need someone by her side. She know that Chloe might need some comfort but she don’t want the girl to see her tears. Four years knowing Chloe, Yuju and Yuju’s mother, not even once she shed a single tears in front of them. Not even once. Because she hate it. She really hate it. And she hate it when Chloe nor Yuju treat her like that, because for Yerin, all of them are family. And family isn’t like that.

…………………………………………………….

Yewon going out for a jogging after a long time. She want to clear her mind that always been mess for the whole years without her Eunbi. She keep thinking for a few days already, thinking hard about her decision. She keep saying in her mind that between Eunbi and her, it is already done a long time ago. Maybe both of them should just forget each other, maybe it’s better for both of them to keep their distance forever.

After being out for an hour at the park, Yewon go back to her house, wanting to take a breakfast with her father and Sojung. She just want to talk something to them, even though back in her heart refuse. But Yewon have to, for her to live.

“Where are you coming from?” Mr Kim ask Yewon as soon she take a sit not far from him.

“Jogging and take some fresh air. It’s been a while since I breathe a fresh air. It feel so good” Yewon answer with sincerely. Showing her pure smile to her dad. She chuckle a bit whenever she heard her father let out some laugh in the middle of their conversation while waiting for Sojung.

“Good morning, wow! Did I missed something?”

“Nothing dear. It’s just Yewon. She just make an old joke in this early morning” Mr Kim say and then laugh again.

“Don’t you think father love it a little too much?” Sojung joke and three of them laugh again. They are spending their breakfast happily with a lot of conversation. And Yewon like it too, she is glad hearing and watching her father and her sister’s smile on their face. That’s when Yewon realize that she maybe did a good decision.

“I—I have something to tell both you”

“What is it dear?” Mr Kim ask, still smiling.

“i—I—“Yewon’s hand start sweaty as her heartbeat beating fast and suddenly, Yewon want to run, run away from everything and left everything behind but her rational mind held her.

“I—I think I will just accept it” Sigh.

“What do you mean Yewon?”

“i—I mea—I mean the marriage. I think f—father’s decision is right. I will just get marry with Hanseol” Yewon say. Silently let out a small sigh in between. Seeing how her father react make Yewon let out a faint smile. She saw how happy her father after listened to her decision, how proud his face telling all the worker in their house about her decision and Yewon can just smile. 

She take a look at Sojung who went silent right after she spill her words just now. Sojung didn’t say anything about it. She just look at Yewon’s eyes for a while even though the younger girl try to not to have an eye contact to her. Sojung smile, she just smile silently and left the place after getting a call from her secretary that she already late for morning meeting.

“Father, I’m going to my room. I need to take a shower because I sweat a lot when I jogged just now” Yewon excuse herself after a few minutes watching her father laugh happily. She saw it. She saw how happy her father after she tell him. How precious his smile to her.

Yewon tears finally fall along with her small steps. Suddenly her whole body feel heavy, suddenly she feel that her shoulder become heavy. She step into her room didn’t forget to lock it from inside. Her leg give away. She feels like her world just break apart. She feels like everything in the world is put on her shoulder. But how can she think about that, she can’t. How come she feel extremely sad about her decision when her father is happy about that. How come she cry like that when her father is smiling and laughing proudly after listening to her decision just now.

“You can’t be selfish Yewon. Father did a lot to you since then. He did a lot. This is the only thing that he want you to do, how can you refuse to do it? You can’t. He did a lot to you” Yewon whisper to herself. Trying to comfort her wounded heart so it won’t hurt anymore.

…………………………………………………

“Sinb, here your pocket money for this month”

“Unnie~ You don’t have to give me this anymore. Mother is important than me”

“But still you need money right?”

“I’m okay unnie, I just want to help mother. Just keep it for mot—“

“I already keep some for money and this is for you. You don’t have to worry about it Sinb. I can handle it”

“But unnie”

“No buts! Just take this. You are my little sister, so of course I need to take care of you too. You are my precious little sister”

“Thank you Yuju unnie. I owe you and mother a lot. I promise I will reply your kindness in future”

“Don’t say that. Mummy love you and I love you too. So just don’t think about it okay? We love you”

“What do you want from me?! I have nothing to give you!”

“Haishh, this kid. Can you stop shouting!?”

“What do you want from me?!!”

“Let me go!”

“Well—well. So this is kind of person that dating my daughter? What is her name again?”

“She called Hwang Eunbi sir”

“Tch ! Even her name sound such a loser to me”

“Alright! I don’t want to stay here any longer. I just want to keep things simple. I want you to stay away from my daughter’s life. Since both of you already break up not long time ago, let’s just do this”

“Just stay away from me, my family and especially my daughter Kim Yewon. I don’t like you and I don’t like she have any relationship with anyone that I don’t like. You just an orphan, a loser who shouldn’t be love. Stay away from her so your bad luck will not get into her”

She tighten her fist, trying to control herself that might explode any single time. Her tears almost fall after being look down by the old man but she stop herself because she don’t want to shed any tears in front of people who look down to her. She don’t want to act weak, just because she don’t have anything.

“You can’t control Yewon’s life. She have a right to be with anyone that she want!” Sinb fight back.

“Yeah, but not someone loser like you. You just an orphan, a girl that nowhere to live, a loser who maybe end up sleep on the road if that Choi’s family didn’t take you with them”

Sinb tighten her fist. She didn’t even realize that her palm already turning red and sweats start coming out from everywhere. She tried to calm down but for the whole time she tried to calm herself down, the man’s words keep her blood boiled inside. Can’t stand anymore, Sinb spit the man right on his expensive shoes and few seconds after that she already get slapped by the others guy.

“Once a filthy, will be always filthy! Such a disgusting orphan! You! Talk to her and settle everything! Make sure she sign everything and just give how many she want, I can’t stand breathe a same air with filthy people like her! I want this thing settle today!”

“And one more thing orphan, make sure to disappear from her life forever! I don’t want to see your face anymore”

The big guys left Sinb who still tied tightly on the chair alone in the room. She hissed a little bit after she can feel a sting on her wrist, maybe because of the rope that was tied tightly. Sinb try to lose the rope but fail so she just wait in the room, patiently trying to take a breath slowly and later fall asleep after feel a little bit tired from everything.

“Here! Take this and stay away from Kim’s family!” Sinb snapped and awake from her little sleep. She still trying to process everything that was put in front of her.

“Untie this first” She said. Just stating, not pleading.

After free, Sinb take the paper and read it carefully. For the whole time reading the agreement, she was mad. Mad to herself because how she want to tear the paper but she know that she can’t. Tears start streaming on her eyes, still refuse to let it fall in front of the guys that still keeping their eyes on her.

“I—I don I don’t want this”

“Then what do you want? How mu—“

“I said I don’t want any of this!”

“You ungrateful bit—“

“Bro, let just not hit her again. Let me explain to her slowly. Let’s just stop hitting her” Sinb look at the guy who try to stop the man from hitting her again. She didn’t say anything, nor let out a relief breathe because for her, everyone in the room is just the same.

“Listen first okay? If you don’t want to accept this then tell us how much you want? We can give more than this. If you still think those amount won’t enough for your living then we can change it and make it higher. Let’s just do this thing so both side have an easy job”

Silent.

“I don’t like to hit anyone, women and especially girl teenager like you. We just want to settle this thing in a good way. Just tell us the amount, so there’s no any hitting and shouting happen here. We won’t get mad for any amount that you say. Just spill it”

Silent.

“We don’t have a lot of time orphan! Just spill the amount!”

“Bro, no shouting come on”

“Fine!”

“I—I need more” She said slowly.

Tears. Her tears finally fall. She tried not to shed any of it. She try. But fail. Her hand trembling as she write the amount on the paper. Her tears fall along with it, leaving a stain on the paper. She feels like her heartbeat already stop beating when she sign and write her name on the paper.

“We hope you have a good living life with the money that you request. Let’s not meet again, and we hope you will keep your promise as stated on this paper. Thank you for your cooperating”

Worse.

That is Sinb’s feels that time. She feel worse to herself. She hate herself.

“Tell me Yewon. Tell me how I’m gonna face you after everything I did? I’m such a worse. I’m sorry”

been a long time..~~~

i'm sorry TT

hope you enjoy this update and Happy Eid Mubarak everyone~~!