Minhyuk drive along the Han river and parked the car when the sky darken. He put on his hoodie and a mask on his face. “It sure is hard to be an idol, right ?” I said in concern. That looks stuffy.

“You should have breath in the fresh air out there, not stuffing your face with those black cloths”
 

“I don’t have any other chances” He said as he zipped up his black hoodie. “You look like a creepy stalker” I laugh as we go out to get the fresh air, “But with great hair”, I hear him laugh after awhile. Finally he is back to himself. Seeing him looks worried just now makes me feels like I’m losing the old him.

“Do you always come here for a walk ?”
 

“I don’t remember the last time I was here” He said as we walk along the Han river. There’s quiet a few people here. A few are on their bicycles. A few is just simply walking around like us and the rest are playing around or just sitting right there, talking about things in life.
 

It just feels so right to do things like this.
 

“How about you ?”
 

“I don’t really like going out since Kihyun left home” I said and he is looks shook toward my answer. “I do go out sometimes. My bestfriend, Reen always ask me to go out and see life, so I did”
 

He grab after my hand to stop me, as he lead me to seat on the bench as we faced the river. “Life must be so hard on you back then” Minhyuk said as he put off the mask and pull the hoodie to hide his face. “It was. Kihyun used to protect me when I was small so I don’t have the confidence to keep on living when he was not there”
 

“I never knew Kihyun is that important to one’s life”
 

“I know right” I smiles as I close my eyes when the cold wind hit my face. “I think I can start to be happy now”
 

“Is that why you did that ?”
 

“Did what ?”
 

“Your wrist”
 

“Ouh.. I guess” I said as I look down to my wrist. I pull the sleeve and let the cold wind hit my skin. The scar can be seen, its so obvious. I run my fingers through the cut and sigh. “I did that everytime I feels lonely. Sometimes I did it so I can feels that I am actually living. The pain makes me realised I am living a life”
 

“That’s sounds depressing”
 

“The last time I did it was two weeks ago” I confessed. He turn and look at me in worried, “I just lost it when I find out about the accident. I lost both my parents in a blink of an eye”
 

“Hey” He said, trying to stop me. I feels warm tears trickled in my eyes. “You don’t have to keep on telling me these things. Don’t force yourself”
 

“I don’t want to do it but a part of me keep giving up on living” I hiccuped as tears started to stream down my cheeks. “My friend have to check on me every hour to make sure I am okay.. to make sure I am still breathing..”
 

“Mihyun-”
 

“I don’t know why I keep stopping myself when I am almost there”
 

“Mihyun, stop it” I feels his hand pulling my head to leaned on his shoulder. The tears won’t stop as he pat my back gently. “You don’t have to do all of that again. You have Kihyun now” He said, “You have the rest of the members, you have me, we are all family. Things will be okay” He said. I let myself breathing properly as the tears stop falling down my cheeks.

It was quiet since then, but doesnt feels awkward at all. I dont remember how long since the last time I feel this calm as I faced the pretty view of the calm river an