Chapter 1

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"Wait, what time is it?" His voice asks me through the phone.

I yawn, "uhh, I think it's 12:08."

"You think?" he asks with a light chuckle.

"Yeah, it's 12:08," I reply with not an ounce of energy left in my lifeless body.

"So..., when are you coming back?" I ask as I opened the fridge door and stared blankly inside for a while?

A faint sound of joy mix into his deep voice as he responds, " You miss me?" I imagine the smile on his face as the words came into my ears. "You're a whole child," I said in a dull, disinterested tone and yawn again. This yawn was long and loud, "I think I'm dying," I said while yawning and attempting to talk.

" If you're dying of sleep, then go to sleep," he said back to his low, chill voice, "I know Hoshi worked you guys to death at practice today," he continued.

"Yeah, that's why you have to come back and join the torture," I said, trying to sound sarcastically mad if that even makes sense. It went silent. I didn't say anything, cause I thought maybe he was doing something, or just thinking, but the silence continued. "Uhh,  if you want to sleep, don't let me stop you," I said, a bit ignored and also trying to dissolve the silence. I close the fridge door and just stood in the kitchen, distracted by our conversation. I heard a deep sigh through the phone, almost as if we're in the same space, then he said, "goodnight Jeonghan." Before I could respond, he hangs up. "....What the hell...okay then," I said more ignored than confused.

Cheol went to Daegu 4 days ago, when his father called in a panic because his Grandmother had an emergency and was rushed to the hospital.  It must have been crucial, because his father would have never called, knowing the situation Cheol's in, as a leader of a group. He knows his son will never choose work over his family, especially if his grandmother was rushed to the emergency room. I would probably have done the same thing. It's hard enough to hear my sister attempt to keep herself from sounding sick or sad when we're talking on the phone. I know she doesn't want me to feel sad and homesick, but it's really hard sometimes. I'm trying to make my dreams come true and work my hardest at it, but sometimes, I ask myself, what am I dreaming for and how far does the dream go?

Unfortunately,  there's no space for thoughts like that, when there's 12 other people working twice as hard for their own dreams to come true, and sometimes I'm afraid of giving into my thoughts. In a group, those guys are my brothers, we might not be blood relatives, but our hearts and souls are connected with the same goals as a group. Cheol and I made it official a few months ago, I say a few, 'cause it’s basically on and off. Sometimes I don't even know if it's an actual relationship, or what it is. Just don't date people you work with, it's dreadful. I hate that every day, every single day, we're doing group activities and the time we're not, is when we're trying to get some rest and then it's back to work. Oh yeah, I also have friends I try to hang with every blue moon. You get what I'm saying. I love being an entertainer and being apart of such an amazing group. Also, never would I have imagined that I would be blessed to be with such a wonderful, talented and loving group of guys.