"You're in a weird mood," Jessica commented, looking her little sister over. Krystal was modeling a new dress design for Jessica who'd wanted to see it on a real person. She was never sure of some of her designs until she saw them move.

Krystal nibbled on the tip of her finger, trying not to fidget. She and the rest of her f(x) members would need to head out to Jeju island for their photoshoot in a few days and Amber was still being, well, just Amber around her. Amber was behaving so normally that Krystal was beginning to doubt that night had ever happened.

She'd expected an awkward conversation or something. Anything. Instead...nothing. Nothing more. Nothing less than how they were before. 

"Soojung..." 

Krystal pulled her mind away from her heavy thoughts and looked at her older sister with vulnerable eyes. "I think I..I think I made a mistake." 

Jessica dusted the shoulders of the dress before stepping back so she could see the full affect. "What do you mean?" 

Krystal fidgeted, not sure where to start or if she even wanted to talk to her sister about this. But it was weighing heavily on her and she needed to at least seek someone's advice. Her own thoughts travelin round and round were of no help. 

"I slept with Amber." 

Jessica looked at her blankly for a moment, wondering why this was news, then her yes widened. "Like..slept, slept?!" she asked in astonishment. 

Krystal nodded her head, tugging strands of hair into . "Gongju had died and she was so sad, and she was there with me in the dark. So close and so full of need.  And I just... we just, she wanted to forget and I wanted-" Krystal pressed her hands to the side of her head. "I'm so stupid. That wasn't what she needed. I should've just held her and-" 

She stopped when her sister's arms wrapped around her, pulling her close. Her head fell on the older girl's shoulder and it wasn't until then she realized she was crying. 

"I ruined everything." 

Jessica shook her head, her little sister's hair. "No you didn't. Just talk it out and I'm sure-" 

"She's pretending it never happened. Everything's exactly the same as it was before and that's somehow worse than if she told me she hated me or stopped talking to me. It's like it meant absolutely nothing at all. It wasn't earth shattering or completely life changing or even a blip on her radar." 

Jessica didn't know what to say to that so she just held her sister even tighter. 

"What should I do?" Krystal asked tearfully.

Jessica shrugged. "I don't know. Follow her cues, maybe. If she never wants to talk about it, then don't talk abou it. If it starts to become a huge thing between you to the point it's hard to work together, you should probably talk to her."

"So just wait?" 

Her sister shrugged and tucked Krystal's hair behind her ear. "Yeah. Just wait." 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Amber was exhausted. Getting up enough energy to tell her fans about Gongju, going through her pictures of him, seeing her stuff around the house and Jack Jack's drooping head had just left her feeling empty for days. Playing with her friends and working on her music was a nice distraction, but she knew that these things just had to run their course. One day she wouldn't be as sad thinking about Gongju, and at the moment her heart was with Jack Jack. She didn't used to worry so much when she had to travel and leave him behind, but now she was leaving him behind alone. She knew her friends would take good care of him, but it wasn't the same. 

"...hey..." 

Amber looked up to find Krystal by her side. She'd been asleep in the van, or at least had appeared so behind her dark sunglasses. 

"Hey." Amber smiled. "You look like an insect. Those things are literally eating your face." 

She could practically feel the younger girl roll her eyes behind the tinted frames. 

"Yeah well, yours aren't big enough to cover those eyebags. Are you sure those aren't just glasses?" 

"Yah?" 

"Do you ever get any sleep?" 

"Only when I'm exhausted." Amber flipped her hat off her head and readjusted her hair before settling it again. "And right now, I'm exhausted. I'm probably gonna crash as soon as we get to Jeju even though I was hoping to have time to take my camera out and explore a bit." 

Krystal had forgotten Amber was working on her photography and directing and wondered if Amber had any projects she was practicing. 

They quickly showed their identification and were soon hustled onto the plane. Amber sighed with relief when she got a window seat to herself, a staff member settling in beside her. She was thankful Krystal hadn't been assigned the seat next to hers. It was so hard pretending everything was the same when it was all so different now. 

She couldn't look at Krystal without remembering how she'd kissed her or ran her smooth hands over her body. Or how her fingers had touched-

Amber cranked up the volume on her ipod, drowning out thoughts as Chinese language lessons played though her headphones. It was easier not to think about it. Pretend it never happened. 

She closed her eyes against the remembered sensations. 

She didn't have time for this. For distractions. She'd learned her lesson last year, trying to start dating for a bit. Or at least she thought she had. But this was especially foolish since it was someone in her group and she wasn't even sure she had feelings for her. At least not the kind to risk both of their careers over. She'd loved how easily the had taken her problems away from her, for even a few moments, and she could feel herself developing a dangerous desire to go there again so she wouldn't have to deal with all the things crowding her mind. 

But that wasn't good, for either her or Krystal.

It was better to let it go. Forget skin on skin and gasps of pleasure. 

She pressed her fingertip to the chilled window of the plane and began to trace out Chinese characters. Anything to keep her thoughts from straying where they didn't belong.