I’m disappointed but I can’t show my feelings because I’m too afraid to be called as a weak person. I want to cry but I can’t, stating the fact that I’m the one who’s assuming all the time.

“Hyun Mi, are you okay?” I heard Nayeon eonni called me and I just gave her a smile. I didn’t answer, instead, I just walk away.

As I walked downstairs, every step is heavy and I realized that I’m bearing so much pain. I want to call Suho oppa but I thought that he’s still busy right now and I don’t want him to worry much about me.

“Yah! Hyun Mi!” I turned to see BamBam who’s waving at me. I waved back but I didn’t answer just like I did to Nayeon eonni. “Are you okay? Seems like, there’s something wrong about you,” he added.

I walked faster than him so he can’t catch me and I exited the JYP Entertainment. I know he’s still following me that’s why I ran. My tears started to fall and I can feel the disappointments and tiredness inside my body.

“Hyun Mi!” I heard his voice and he stood beside me. “Is this all about the JYP Sixteen?”

I didn’t answer him and I’m just crying. He hugged me and I can’t move. My tears are just falling and my knees are trembling.

“Let’s sit for a moment,” he said and guided me towards a bench. “I know you have been through tough times and you’re tired but don’t think of giving up,” he said and I glared at him.

“I didn’t give up! I’m just disappointed because JYP told me that among those girls, I’ll be the first one to debut,” I said while staring at my own feet.

“Well, I’m training here in JYP for almost seven years but I’m still getting my hopes up that I’ll debut someday that’s why I always work hard to impress the CEO. The good thing about him is that, he keeps his promises,” he said while looking at me.

I didn’t know if he’s just making me feel better but I don’t want to assume again. It’s enough.

“But he didn’t,” I said, and then I cry again.

“Well, we don’t know, maybe you’ll become a soloist. JYP is unreadable and we don’t know his plans yet but he already told us that there will be a new trainee tomorrow, he’ll train with us for three months for the preparation of debut, the Girls Girls Girls, I hope I will get picked,” while listening to him, I frowned because I’m jealous at him, he could debut already. And he has a chance.

“Thanks,” I mouthed and he pats my head. He didn’t answer and we were silent for a moment until he spoke up.

“Where’s your home, I’ll drop you right there,” he said and I’m thinking of going home or going to SM. I can’t choose.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine, I’ll just get a taxi,” I said and he grabs my arm. I don’t why but I feel safer around him.

“No, you need to go with me, I’m afraid you’re still not okay,” he said and I heave out a sigh. Should I go with him or nah?

“Alright, I’m going to the SM Entertainment’s building,” I said and he raised his eyebrow. What’s wrong with him?

“You’re a trainee of SM Entertainment?” He asked and I laughed. I guess, he still didn’t know about it. “Don’t laugh at me,” he added.

“Of course I’m not a trainee of SM, I’m the sister of some Exo’s member and SNSD’s member,” I said and he got shocked.

“Really? So you’re close with them?” I nodded and he was really shocked and I just laughed at him. “Could you please tell Taeyeon that I’m his fanboy, please?” I laughed at him and I nodded. Taeyeon eonni must be really pretty, huh?

“Alright,” I said and we grabbed a taxi. “Thank you again Bam,” I said and he just smiled at me.

🌸🌸🌸

When we arrived at the SM’s building, he waited for me to arrive inside and then I waved back at him. The taxi drove off away and I enter the building.

While walking towards the dorm, I enter Suho oppa’s room and he’s still not right here. I lay my back against the bed and grabs my phone.

I opened the messaging app and texted Suho oppa.

To: Suho Oppa

I just got arrived from JYP. Text me soon if you’ll go here.

I closed my eyes and I can’t sleep. I look at the ceiling and I could always feel the sadness inside me. I don’t have a family to comfort me right now but at least, BamBam was there that made me laugh.

My phone beeps and I saw Nayeon eonni’s number. I opened the message and read her message.

From: Nayeon Eonni

Hyun Mi, bambam told me you’ve been sad because you didn’t made it to jyp sixteen. Did you know that JYP pd-nim was looking for you? I bet he wants to talk to you. Anyways, he told me that he will see you tomorrow and you must go here at seven. See ya!
ps. I’m your friend so tell me if you need help

I feel a little bit sorry to her cause I went with BamBam. I replied to her.

To: Nayeon Eonni

Thanks, see you tomorrow.

I put my phone down and I sang TaeTiSeo’s Only You. That’s my favorite song and it keeps on playing inside my head.

“You’re everything I’ve been looking for,” I sang and then I hugged the pillow.

I was wondering if JYP will say sorry and then I entered JYP Sixteen. I hope so. I don’t want to get my hopes up again because it hurts. I just want to talk with him tomorrow and get things clear.

A while ago, BamBam hugged me and I don’t know why I feel some awkwardness. It’s my first time being hugged with a boy except for my father and to my brothers.

My phone beeps and I got two messages, from Suho oppa and Nayeon eonni. I read their messages.

From: Suho Oppa

See you later. Still practing J

He must really be busy right now. I hope he won’t forget about his health. And for all the members also.

From: Nayeon Eonni

Okay. Love lots. ♥

I didn’t replied and instead, I closed my eyes so that I would fall asleep. And, I did.

🌸🌸🌸

When I woke up, I saw Suho oppa preparing a ramen beside me. I sat properly while looking at him. I don’t know if that ramen is for me or for him. I’m assuming again but I’m really hungry.

“You’re awake now, how’s your dream?” He asked but I didn’t answer. I’m too hungry. “Am I talking to a ghost?”

“I bet you are,” I said and he looks at me. He gave me the ramen and I immediately ate the noodles.

“How was the JYP Sixteen?” He asked but I didn’t answer. I don’t want to talk about it. “You should rest now, you must be very tired,” he said and we silence filled the room.

“Oppa,” I called him and he looks at me.

“Hmm?” He answered while raising his eyebrow.

“I’ll tell you honestly, I didn’t made it to JYP Sixteen but JYP wanted to see me tomorrow, I don’t know what to do,” I said while eating the ramen. I want to cry in front of him but I’m still eating.

“I’ll drive you to JYP Building and accompany you there, okay? Don’t worry, I’ll be with you tomorrow,” he said and gave me a smile.

I continued eating the ramen until I ate all of it inside the cup. I threw it inside the trash can and I grabbed my phone again.

I got a message from Suho oppa and from an unknown number. Who is this?

From: Suho Oppa

On the way to the room.

From: Unknown Number

Hyun Mi, are you okay now?

I wonder who he is. He knew my name and I don’t want to reply him because it’s difficult to have a stalker.

I put my phone back to the table and charged it. I want to think of something. I guess I’m too obsessed to become an artist.

“Hey, what’s running inside your mind again?” I heard Suho oppa’s voice and I didn’t answer him. “I’m sorry for that news but I really want you to answer me,” he said and I chuckled.

“Sorry oppa, I just want to be an idol right now, I want to be famous like you guys,” I said and he heaves out a sigh.

“Let me tell you this sis, being an idol is not all about fame and awards, it’s a passion and a hobby where a person could be happy. Having fans who supports you always is a gratitude that’s why I cherish those fans I have,” he said but I couldn’t understand what he said so I just nodded. “You may not understand it right now but someday, you will,” he said and left me alone to think of something else.

Foods.

I’m really hungry.

🌸🌸🌸

“Yah! Hyun Mi, are you going to JYP or not?” I heard Suho oppa scolded me as he hit me with a pillow. “It’s already 6:30!”

As he said that, I immediately stood up and ran towards the wash room to clean up. What a total mess.

🌸🌸🌸

After preparing, I immediately ran towards the SM building’s exit. I enter the car and Suho oppa was glaring at me, please help me.

“So, let’s go, you only have ten minutes left,” he said and we rode towards the JYP.

As Suho was driving, he speed up the car and I was like, this is an action! I Love it!

“Faster!” I shouted and he glared at me once again. Why he’s so mad at me this morning?

“Do you want me to die?” He shouted and I laughed.

“At least I’ll die with you so hurry,” I said and he shook his head, feeling annoyed.

When we arrived at the JYP’s building, Suho oppa put on his cap, mask and shades while walking inside the JYP.

My hands were shaking and my heart is beating faster, it feels like I’m performing again. We walk towards the CEO’s office and I could feel that I;m going to die soon.

“Are you ready?” He asked me and I nodded. “Alright,” he knocks at the door and I heard JYP’s voice. God, no.

“Come in,” JYP said and Suho oppa opens the door and we went inside.

JYP looks at us while Suho oppa removes his shades, mask and cap. He smiled at us and walks towards us.

“Hyun Mi, it’s great to see you. I’ve been looking for you yesterday but you went home already with BamBam,” he said and Suho oppa raised his eyebrow at me. I’ll explain it to you later, I need to deal with this old man first.

“Ah, yes,” I answered and he nodded.

“You’re not entering JYP Sixteen because I’d already told you that you’ll debut first among those girls,” he said and I hugged Suho oppa who is also smiling at me.

“So, she will become a soloist because she’s special?” Suho oppa said and JYP shook his head. What? I’ll be an actress?

“No, she will debut with a boy group.”

“WHAT!?” Suho oppa and I asked in chorus.