Hyunwoo and Kihyun arrive at a nice little restaurant a bit further from campus than they usually go. Kihyun is surprised to find out Hyunwoo has gone so far as to make a reservation at this new place, the older pausing at the hostess podium to give the necessary information. Usually, Kihyun is the one to be in charge of such planned-out dates. Not that Hyunwoo is careless when he’s in charge of date night, he just doesn’t think to make reservations and such.

The older moves to pull out Kihyun’s chair, earning a chuckle from him.

“Overcompensating,” the voice comments. “He’s doing all this to try and sway you. He knows you don’t really love him. If you did, you wouldn’t be hiding so much from him. You’d have told him about me long ago. But, you know that he’d only leave you if you did.”

“Do you like it here, Kihyun-ah?” Hyunwoo asks, his gentle voice breaking Kihyun away from the voice. Kihyun throws on a wide, dimpled smile, ignoring the voice as best he can.

“I love it,” he answers. Hyunwoo visibly breathes a sigh of life, causing Kihyun to chuckle once more. The two share a smile, and then turn their attentions towards the menus.

The dinner goes on without a hitch. The voice behaves itself, not even making any snide comments about Hyunwoo’s adorable, nervous blushing. Kihyun loses himself in the night, managing to forget for a moment his perpetual inner turmoil.

“So, Kihyunnie,” Hyunwoo begins, leaning forward on the table. Kihyun giggles soundlessly at his expression, the beautifully benevolent grin making his heart feel light and fuzzy.

“Yes, hyung?”

“I know we agreed on not doing gifts tonight,” he continues, the statement earning a curious raise of the younger’s brow, “but I’ve noticed lately that you carry around a rock. I don’t know why, and you don’t have to explain if you don’t want to, but I thought that maybe you’d like for it to be easier to have with you.” His hands suddenly come up from underneath the table, holding a small cloth drawstring bag.

As he speaks, explaining his idea, Kihyun’s delighted smile falls to a confused half-frown. When he brings out the bag and places it on the table, the younger’s eyes dart to it and then back up to his boyfriend’s face, an almost accusatory light within them.

“You…” Kihyun breathes out anxiously. “Did you take my rock without telling me?” He snatches up the bag and opens it, dropping its contents into the palm of his hand. His beloved rock is now not just a rock, but a rock with leather wrapped around it and securing it to a thicker strip of leather. It’s obviously meant to be a bracelet, a thoughtful gift if Kihyun has ever seen one. Kihyun glances back up at Hyunwoo, for some reason panicking at the change. At least he knows now where it’s been all this time, he supposes. But, will it still work like this? 

“I’m sorry, Kihyunnie,” Hyunwoo says immediately upon seeing his reaction to the gift. “I just thought you’d like it if—“

“I’m not mad, hyung,” Kihyun tells him, holding up a silencing hand. He tries for a smile, despite the furious whisperings in his ear. “In fact, I love it. It was very thoughtful of you.”

“Don’t lie to him like that,” the voice screams at him. “He took your one safeguard, the only thing that’s helped you, and changed it. He’s marred it, made it useless. It’s just another rock now. Him taking it and morphing it into this has ruined it forever.” Kihyun stares hard at the rock, as if silently willing it to work like it used to. He wants so desperately for the voice to be wrong.

“You sure you like it?” Hyunwoo asks hesitantly. There’s something in the younger’s eyes that makes the older question whether or not he should believe him. His pupils seem a bit more dilated than they should be, and he keeps on glancing at the air all around Hyunwoo, as if following an invisible fly. Kihyun gives him a tight grin, nodding his response. He grips the bracelet with white knuckles, as if it’s a lifeline of some sort.

“Positive,” Kihyun answers. In an attempt to prove himself, and to see if the rock will work if the jewelry is actually worn, he moves to put the bracelet on. He has trouble, though, his fingers shaking slightly. Hyunwoo reaches across the small table and helps him, tying it around the younger’s wrist with gentle fingers. Kihyun smiles at him gratefully, holding up his wrist victoriously as Hyunwoo sits back down. “See? It’s perfect.”

“Perfectly terribly, you mean,” the voice tells him, causing his heart to sink. It’s right. The rock won’t work anymore because Hyunwoo’s tampered with it. It isn’t his fault, of course, he didn’t know. Kihyun never told him. He wishes he had, though. He wouldn’t be in this mess if he had.

Hyunwoo’s anxious gaze remains on the younger until the server comes by with the check. He doesn’t quite believe Kihyun still. He wishes he did. He wishes he could just accept whatever Kihyun says and be done with it, like he used to be able to. He doesn’t know why he can’t just move on from this.

The two walk back home after paying, Kihyun trying to lighten the mood but failing miserably. All Hyunwoo can think about is his reaction to the bracelet. The more he thinks about it, the more he thinks that it was a horrible idea. He can tell by the way Kihyun continuously pulls at it that he doesn’t really like it as much as he wants Hyunwoo to believe, which only serves to aggravate the older into a silent stupor.

Kihyun wishes so badly he could ignore the voice, that the bracelet that Hyunwoo had been so thoughtful and perceptive to think of could help him like the rock used to. However, the entire walk home the voice nags in his ear, listing all the ways Kihyun has ruined the evening. It begins in the morning of that day, citing the instance when he forgot all about the dinner in the first place. It goes through everything Kihyun has done throughout the day, causing him to feel that this awful mood between him and his boyfriend was always inevitable because of him.

“You don’t have to wear it, Kihyunnie,” Hyunwoo tells Kihyun, sitting down on his own bed. Kihyun sighs, rubbing circles around his temples. The walk home had been incredibly silent as far as Hyunwoo is concerned, though he couldn’t hear the voice that had given Kihyun a migraine from its constant negativity.

“I want to, hyung,” Kihyun argues through clenched teeth. “Now come on, it’s late. We should go to sleep.” He moves to turn off the light, but pauses at Hyunwoo’s shaking head.

“I never want you to feel like you have to do anything for me,” Hyunwoo continues. “Please, take off the bracelet if you don’t like it. I can fix it so that it’s just a regular rock again.”

“No,” Kihyun says aggravatedly. “I like it as a bracelet. I will wear it as a bracelet. Now drop this, please.” He heaves a sigh, and attempts to turn off the light again.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re lying to me?” Hyunwoo asks. Kihyun groans, rubbing at his eyes tiredly.

“Because you are lying to him,” the voice chuckles. “Finally, the dolt has figured it out. But, you’re lying to him about a lot more than just a simple bracelet, aren’t you Kihyunnie? Go on, tell him. Break his heart on tonight of all nights. You don’t love him. You never did. How could anyone like you ever love someone like him?”

“Shut up,” Kihyun mumbles, glaring at the lamp. Hyunwoo frowns confusedly, taken aback by the vehement tone. He’d never heard Kihyun speak to anyone like that before.

“What?” he asks. Kihyun shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

“Nothing, hyung,” Kihyun replies. “I didn’t mean you.”

“Then who did you mean?” Hyunwoo demands. “We’re the only two in here, Kihyun-ah, and I don’t think you were telling yourself to shut up...”

“I said it was nothing,” Kihyun insists, panic entering his mind. He hadn’t meant to actually say it, only think it. God, he’s too exhausted from staying out so late the night before to be having this conversation with the older now.

“You’re lying,” Hyunwoo says. “Kihyun, don’t you trust me? Why are you trying to hide something from me?” Kihyun bites his tongue, refusing to answer his questions.

Hyunwoo continues to stare at him, silently demanding an answer. Neither know how long they sit there, neither uttering a syllable. Finally, Hyunwoo stands with a sigh, shaking his head at the younger.

“I’m going for a walk,” he tells him. “I’ve got to clear my head.” Without waiting for a response, he then grabs his keys and leaves.

Kihyun doesn’t move, only glares at the bracelet on his wrist. His aggravation grows into a burning anger. Why couldn’t he just have a simple anniversary date with his boyfriend? Why did the voice always have to ruin everything for him? Why couldn’t he just be happy, if at least for a single night?

Burning tears begin to flow from his eyes. He takes off the bracelet, screaming as he throws it at the door. The small outburst alleviates him of a tidbit of his rage at his horrible life. He shakes his head at himself, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes as he lies down.

Why did he always have to ruin everything with Hyunwoo without even trying?