“This place has the best ramyeon near campus,” Hoseok tells the younger, trying for a supportive smile. Kihyun hums in acknowledgment, staring at the table in between him and his friend.

“Why even bother?” the voice asks. “You’ve officially managed to push away the one person who cared about you. You’re a failure, Kihyun-ah. You’ve ruined whatever chance you could ever have at happiness. There’s no point to anything anymore. You know that. There’s no use fighting it.”

“…Is that okay?” Hoseok says, breaking Kihyun’s concentration on the voice. Kihyun glances up to meet Hoseok’s eyes, trying for a smile as he nods.

“I’m not all that hungry,” Kihyun answers, “so whatever you want is fine.”

“You need to eat, Kihyun-ah,” Hoseok insists. “It’s been a long day. A big bowl of ramyeon will do wonders for you.” Kihyun chuckles at the very typical statement, shaking his head.

“Your faith in a single dish of food astounds me,” he comments. Hoseok chuckles at the statement, the boisterous, lively sound bringing a smile to Kihyun’s face.

The waiter comes by and takes their order soon, leaving Hoseok and Kihyun alone in silence. One of Hoseok’s favorite things about this place is how small it is, but tonight it seems too cramped. He feels almost claustrophobic sitting at such a small table with Kihyun.

The two eat the meal with little discussion between them. Hoseok tries to start up a chat every once in a while, but Kihyun’s mind is understandably elsewhere.

Soon enough, the older pays for the meal and takes Kihyun gently by the arm. As expected, he didn’t eat much. Hoseok holds his leftovers in a takeout bowl, and leads Kihyun back to the dorm wordlessly. There’s almost unsettling about how quiet the younger is. He wants so desperately to know what’s going through his mind, though he knows he shouldn’t ask. He feels it isn’t his place to pry in such a way so soon after his friend’s breakup.

They reach the dorm soon enough, and Kihyun merely disappears into the bathroom with downcast eyes. Hoseok bites back a sigh, putting the younger’s leftover noodles into the fridge before lying down. He opens his phone and scrolls through the messages Minhyuk had sent him throughout the night, asking if Kihyun is alright and telling him how Hyunwoo is doing. Hoseok runs a hand through his hair, brainstorming a response carefully to keep his feelings in check.

Even though Minhyuk knows about his crush, and has in fact come clean about a crush on Hyunwoo he’s been harboring, Hoseok still doesn’t feel comfortable enough talking about it yet.

As he types, he glances over at the bathroom door, listening to the faint sound of running water from the other side.

Kihyun stares dully at the water rushing out of the faucet, filling the bathtub with the warm liquid. He can’t help but replay all the fights he’s had with Hyunwoo in his mind, all the times he’s failed the older one way or another. He doesn’t know how he’d put up with him for as long as he did. Kihyun feels so incredibly guilty for putting Hyunwoo through what he did, the emotion gnawing incessantly on his heart.

“There’s nothing left for you anymore,” the voice whispers to him. Tears come to Kihyun’s eyes almost immediately, feeling the voice to be right. Why not? It’s been right about everything else. He’s worthless and despicable, and has pushed everyone who’s ever bothered caring about him away.

“Just put an end to it,” it continues, almost cooingly.

Kihyun shuts off the water, a certain numbness filling him. He gets the awful suspicion that this is how he’ll feel for the rest of his life.

His thoughts then flash to Hoseok, how he had barely said a word all night.

“He knows how hopeless you are,” the voice explains, “so he doesn’t even bother trying. Why try to fix something so obviously broken beyond repair?”

Kihyun shakes his head, moving away from the bathtub. He wipes the steam off the mirror, glaring at his own reflection. He feels as if he should yell at the voice that it’s wrong, that it couldn’t be any further from the truth… but he can’t quite bring himself to.

The indignant fire leaves Kihyun’s eyes, leaving them looking nothing more like empty orbs of darkness set into his skull.

He grips the sides of the sink tightly as if it’s a lifeline, trying his hardest to argue with the voice. But, is it really so wrong? Hoseok obviously is so burdened by this mess he’s created, and Hyunwoo… Hyunwoo…

The young man shakes his head once more, dropping his gaze down to his hands. His eyes land on a razor, and he can’t seem to quite pull his gaze away. He glances between the full bathtub and the shaving implement repeatedly. He finds himself picking it up, trying to think of a reason to not do it. However, he can’t think of a single one.

He slips out of his jacket and socks, setting them neatly on the shelf to keep them out of the way. He locks the door as quietly as possible, hoping Hoseok doesn’t notice. Hopefully, the older is already asleep and won’t be aware of this until tomorrow.

Kihyun then slowly gets into the bathtub, lowering himself gently into the water, and closes his eyes.