Feiyan

With each passing day, Feiyan felt her suspicions grow that something was changing within her body. And so, after Yixing left for morning court one day, she personally visited the royal physician tent to confirm. The physicians scattered in surprise as Feiyan arrived, hurrying to greet her properly. Usually if a member of the royal family needed medical assistance, they would send a maid to summon a physician; it was rare for a royal to appear on her own, much less the crown princess. Feiyan quickly dismissed them and pulled Physician Han aside.

“I need you to take my pulse and diagnose what illness I have contracted.” She said. The older man looked confused.

“Of course Your Highness,” He said, “But why have you come all this way yourself to do that?” Feiyan pursed her lips.

“Just do it.” She ordered, deciding not to go into the details. If she was not pregnant, then there was no problem. If she was, then she had some thinking to do. At the present time, a child could be a weakness, a vulnerability just waiting to be exploited by those searching for one. Before Yilong was removed, Feiyan hadn’t thought about giving Yixing a child, but now that the possibility had arisen...what if Yixing found her and the baby a burden? Pregnancy would keep Feiyan from completing many of her usual tasks, and she certainly would not be as able to share Yixing’s daily burdens as crown prince. Physician Han led her to his corner of the tent and carefully pressed two fingers to her wrist. His brow furrowed slightly before he looked up carefully at Feiyan.

“Highness,” He said cautiously, “Have you had your cycle this month?” Feiyan bit her lip and shook her head.

“Trouble keeping food down? Feeling nauseous and sensitive to certain smells?” The physician pressed on. Feiyan swallowed hard and nodded. The man smiled and rose to bow to Feiyan.

“I must congratulate you, Your Highness.” He declared, “You are with child! Judging from your pulse, the child was conceived a little over two months ago.” Feiyan’s eyes widened, and she quickly pulled the man back down before the other physicians could notice.

“Keep this a secret for now.” She ordered in a hushed tone, “Especially from the crown prince. If anyone asks, I had a stomach bug and it is now passed.” Physician Han frowned.

“I can do that,” he agreed, “But why, Highness? It is a happy matter.” Feiyan sighed. There was no way she could explain that would make the elderly physician understand. She simply patted him on the arm and rose from her seat.

“I have my reasons.” She replied calmly. Feiyan has barely finished speaking when a servant rushed in.

“The khan has fallen very ill!” He gasped.

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The khan’s large tent was swarming with people as Feiyan arrived along with the royal physicians. She looked around carefully and hurried to Yixing’s side as she spotted her husband. He looked worried, his hands clasped in front of him tightly. Feiyan gently tugged his hands apart and laced her fingers through his with a reassuring squeeze.

“What happened?” She asked quietly. Yixing sighed and shook his head.

“No one is sure.” He replied, “Father was fine this morning, but suddenly collapsed in the middle of morning court. None of the physicians have been able to diagnose anything yet.” Feiyan patted his arm gently.

“The khan will be fine, I’m sure.” She assured him. However, as she watched the physicians exchange confused glances and looked at the khan’s pale face, Feiyan couldn’t be quite so sure of her statement anymore. After hesitating, the physicians gathered in front of the princes.

“Well?” Yixing demanded.

“We...are not sure what is wrong with the khan.” Physician Han replied, “His pulse is erratic at times, but smooth at others. Yet at the same time, he has a difficult time breathing. While we believe something is wrong with his lungs, we cannot diagnose anything beyond that.” Yixing let out a low growl.

“What use is keeping all of you around if you can’t diagnose anything?” He snarled. Yifan squeezed Yixing’s shoulder calmly.

“Calm down, Brother.” He said, “Yelling at them will do little good. Let the physicians return to their quarters and discuss what they have found. Then, they can try medicine as they see fit.” Yixing took a shaking breath and nodded.

“Do as Yifan says.” He ordered. The physicians nodded and dispersed. Feiyan quietly kept her reassuring grip on Yixing’s hand, but couldn’t keep herself from peeking over his shoulder at Yilong. The elder prince had arrived at the same time as the rest, but while he kept a respectful pose, his hands clasped in front of him with his head bowed, he seemed oddly at peace in comparison to Yixing’s current state. Of course, one could attribute it to the brothers’ different positions in the empire, but Yilong almost seemed a little...too calm. Feiyan bit her lip as a thought entered her mind.

Yilong wouldn’t have….would he?

No matter how much Yilong desired the throne, he surely wouldn’t be so cruel as to attack his own father...at least, Feiyan hoped as much. There was surely a limit to everyone’s ambitions, even Yilong’s. She shook the thought away and subtly placed a hand on her stomach.

No, now is not the time to tell Yixing about the child.

__________________________________________________________________________

Two weeks later

As Feiyan had expected, Yixing’s responsibilities grew overnight with the khan’s sudden illness. Essentially, all the tasks usually left for the khan fell onto Yixing’s shoulders. Every morning, the crown prince left as the sun rose, and returned late after conversing late into the night with the various ministers and court officials. Feiyan tried to help him read as many of the petitions sent in as possible, but there was only so much she could do. At the same time as their workload grew, Feiyan could feel herself growing increasingly tired as her child grew inside of her and her morning sickness increased. Yixing’s constant work kept his attention off of her and away from her growing stomach, but Feiyan knew it wouldn’t be long before Yixing noticed. Although she was afraid and worried about what would happen, there was little use in keeping the baby a secret from him. She would have to tell him eventually.

“My lady?” Feiyan jolted out of her thoughts as a maid called out to her. She blinked and turned to the girl holding a platter of desserts with a little smile on her face.

“Yes?” She queried softly. The girl held out the desserts towards her.

“Would you like to check these sweets before they are brought to the banquet tonight?” She asked. Feiyan sighed as she looked at the plate in front of her. Yixing was hosting a banquet to welcome the leaders of the merchant bureau tonight in his father’s place, and Feiyan had offered to look after the food for him. The sight of the sesame rolls on the plate sent a wave of nausea rolling over her again, and Feiyan barely held back the urge to gag before waving the maid off. As she turned to one of the windows for fresh air, Feiyan sighed again and poked at her stomach.

“Don’t create trouble for me, okay?” She whispered. After taking another deep breath, Feiyan returned to the tent to prepare for the banquet. As she reached for her dress, she paused as her gaze flitted to the dresser where her other dresses lay. Within that dresser were many traditional Mongolian dresses, prepared for her under the khan’s orders when she had first married Yixing. Feiyan had avoided wearing them out of mere defiance before, but now...Feiyan looked down at her stomach and took a deep breath before heading to the dresser to pull out a different dress. It was time for some change.

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Feiyan paused as she noticed Yixing standing in the banquet area, a tall man and a young woman in front of him. The man smiled and motioned to the young woman, who bowed graciously at Yixing. Feiyan scoffed. It was clear from the girl’s flirtatious gaze and besotted look that she was a potential concubine. Feiyan moved carefully closer to listen to what they were saying.

“Your Highness, this is my daughter.” The man introduced, “Her name is Khulan.” The girl blushed as she looked up at Yixing’s handsome face and bowed politely. Yixing politely allowed her to rise, careful not to touch Khulan’s hand.

“Sir, is there a reason why you have suddenly brought your daughter along?” He asked. The merchant looked a little taken aback before he smiled graciously.

“You see Highness, my daughter is of the age to marry.” He said, “I have heard news that the Crown Princess has yet to bear an heir for you. If my daughter is to your liking, perhaps…” Yixing started to laugh, to the man’s bewilderment.

“What do you take me for?” He asked, “A erted man seeking to collect as many young women into my harem as possible?” Yixing narrowed his eyes coldly.

“Listen carefully.” He growled, “Xu Feiyan is my only wife now, and will be my only wife in the future as well. No matter if she bears me an heir now or never does, that doesn’t matter. I love her, and that is all that matters to me. She will be the only woman to sit by my side in the future, and I never intend for that fact to change.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Do you understand?” He asked coolly. Feiyan felt a small smile play across her lips, and straightened her back as she stepped forward into the banquet area.

“You are quite bold, Sir Merchant.” She called out, sending both father and daughter rushing to bow politely, “To offer another woman to my husband out in the open, don’t you feel shameful?” Yixing turned in surprise, his expression changing into a pleased smile as he noted her clothing. Feiyan had chosen a sky blue Mongolian style dress, paired with a white beaded headdress that blew softly with her hair as she walked. She crossed her arms and leaned closer to examine both father and daughter.

“Or are you trying to say that I, a Ming princess and future queen of the Mongolian people, am worth less than your merchant’s daughter because I have yet to give birth to a child?” Feiyan demanded. The merchant turned pale, realizing the gravity of his mistake.

“I would never dare, Your Highness!” He cried, falling to his knees. Feiyan huffed.

“You’d better not.” She replied, “Or else you will not be appearing at the next merchant’s banquet. Do you understand?” The man nodded furiously. Feiyan laid a hand on Yixing’s arm.

“Yixing, won’t you have the servants prepare a seat for these two in the back?” She asked coolly, “I’m afraid my eyes will burn if I see them too clearly.” Yixing could barely hold back an amused smirk as he beckoned to a few servants.

“Do as my princess says.” He ordered, lacing his hand through Feiyan’s. She smiled and followed Yixing to their seats at the front of the banquet.

“You look especially beautiful tonight.” Yixing commented softly. Feiyan smiled.

“I thought it was time for some change.” She replied, her gaze flitting carefully to where the merchant father and daughter were sitting far away in the back. They immediately looked back down at their feet, looking ashamed.

“You can be quite harsh when you want to be.” Yixing whispered as food was served. Feiyan grinned.

“That will teach him to think twice before offering his daughter like a sow for breeding.” She declared softly. Yixing chuckled and squeezed her hand lightly.

“My sassy wife.” He teased. Feiyan pouted.

“Aren’t I more than that?” She asked. Yixing grinned and spooned some roasted meat onto her plate.

“The sweetest and most caring wife a man could ask for.” He replied. Feiyan grinned and looked down at her plate, watering as the smell of roasted beef wafted up. A delighted smile floated to her lips as she began to eat happily.

It seems like I’ve found what the baby likes!

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Feiyan yawned as she and Yixing returned to their tent, the banquet finished at last. Yixing wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder.

“I’m impressed at how you handled socializing tonight, wife.” He murmured in her ear. Feiyan laughed and reached back to pat him on the head.

“But of course!” She replied, “How can the crown princess be a shy wimp?” Yixing laughed in amusement.

“Of course, of course.” He agreed. Feiyan turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“But Yixing.” She said, “Do you know why I decided to wear a Mongolian dress today?” Yixing thought for a moment, then shook his head. Feiyan grinned and led him to sit on the bed.

“Give me your hand.” She said with a teasing smile. Yixing frowned in confusion, but did as he was told. Feiyan took a deep breath, and gently pressed Yixing’s hand against the gently rounded stomach.

“I’m pregnant.” She said softly, “If all goes well, the baby will be here by the first snowfall. Now that there is a child on the way, I thought some change was proper for this new part of our lives.” Yixing froze, shock written all over his face. His gaze slowly went from his hand to Feiyan’s face, and then back again. Feiyan swallowed, bracing herself for the worst. Then, Yixing reached out and pulled Feiyan into his arms, his body trembling ever so slightly.

“Oh Feiyan!” He whispered, “That is the best news I could ever receive!” Feiyan felt tears fill her eyes.

“You mean...you don’t mind having a baby this early?” She asked quietly. Yixing laughed and kissed her gently.

“Silly girl.” He chided, “Why would I mind? I have been wanting to start a family with you!” Feiyan sniffled.

“But Yilong…” She mumbled, “And all the things you have to do now that the khan is sick…” Yixing gently shushed her.

“That won’t get in the way.” He promised, “You won’t be a burden to me. No matter what happens, I will be by your side until the baby is here, and even after that. Nothing that Yilong can do will stop me.” He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Feiyan’s forehead. Feiyan closed her eyes, and felt the anxiety in her heart slowly relax. A tiny smile spread over her face as she remembered how Yixing had defended her against the merchant and his daughter. Perhaps things would be alright, at least for now. However, a new feeling took over as Yixing pulled away.

“Yixing.” Feiyan mumbled, feeling embarrassed. Yixing tilted his head slightly.

“Yes?” He asked. Feiyan felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“I’m hungry.” She announced, “I want roasted meat.” Yixing looked at her for a moment in surprise before bursting into laughter.

“I’ll have the servants bring some immediately.”

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A little over a month later, Feiyan

True to his word, Yixing somehow managed to balance both his duties and time with Feiyan. Every night, he returned to eat dinner and spend time talking with her, sometimes taking her out on slow rides around the main camp. And once a week, Yixing made sure to take a walk during the day with Feiyan, in order to make sure she maintained her health during the pregnancy. On one of these days, Feiyan sighed and let herself enjoy the fresh air as they walked along a hill near the edge of the main camp.

“Fresh air is so nice!” She said with a laugh. Yixing chuckled.

“Is it that nice?” He teased. Feiyan huffed.

“Of course!” She replied, “You’ve taken away so many of the things I can usually do! Most of the time I’m inside one tent or another!” Yixing grinned and wrapped an arm around her waist.

“That’s just to protect you and the baby.” He replied. Feiyan poked him on the cheek.

“If you say so.” She replied. The couple walked for a little while longer before sitting down on the soft grass for a break. Yixing turned and looked at Feiyan.

“Hold out your hand.” He said. Feiyan did as she was told, her brow furrowed in confusion. Yixing smiled and carefully slipped a bracelet over Feiyan’s wrist. She stared at it in surprise, taking in the deep red color of the bracelet.

“Is this...a handmade red bean bracelet?” She asked. Yixing smiled and nodded.

“I know the Ming have a tradition where a man gives red bean to his lover to signify his eternal love and devotion.” He said, “I know you still have some doubts in your heart, that is why you didn’t tell me about the child at first, right?” He gently clasped his hand over her wrist.

“I know this can only do a little to assuage your fears, but it’s something to show my sincerity.” He continued, “Will you accept it, Yan’er?” Feiyan felt tears bubble up in her eyes as she heard the new pet name, his sincerity ringing through his gentle grasp.

“Oh, why do I cry so easily these days?” She mumbled, rubbing at her eyes. Yixing chuckled and kisses her on the forehead.

“Let this child be a test of our affection for each other.” He said softly, “To see how our trust and love has grown. I’m certain I will pass the test.” Feiyan giggled.

“I’ll be watching.” She warned. Yixing chuckled and tucked Feiyan’s head against his shoulder. Feiyan closed her eyes for a moment before a soft fluttering movement from inside made her gasp.

“Feiyan?” Yixing looked down in alarm, “What’s wrong?” Feiyan hesitated before taking Yixing’s hand and placing it on her stomach, her eyes wide. After another moment, there was another flutter of movement, followed by a soft jab on the side. Yixing gasped.

“Was that…?” He asked, eyes wide. Feiyan grinned and nodded.

“The baby is saying hello!” She chirped happily. Yixing laughed and leaned down to press his ear to Feiyan’s stomach.

“Be good in there, ok? Father can’t wait to see you!” He said to the baby. Feiyan squealed as Yixing’s voice led to another kick from inside her womb. Yixing straightened up and pulled Feiyan into a happy hug.

“We’ll be the best parents.” He promised. Feiyan smiled and leaned into the warmth of his embrace.

“I’m sure we will.” She replied. Feiyan sighed as she closed her eyes and let the soothing warmth of Yixing’s arms around her lull her to sleep.

Please let this peace last, even if just for a little while.