Yixing

Yixing froze as he slowly processed Feiyanm’s request.

A divorce…

“Are you out of your mind?” Yixing whispered at last, finally collecting himself. Feiyan smiled bitterly.

“On the contrary, I am quite clear minded right now.” She replied, “I know exactly what I am doing. While you can justify your marriage to that girl, others will look back on it in the future and criticize your every action in this situation. Things will be different with my permission. Isn’t that what you wanted anyway?” Yixing frowned.

“But you have nowhere to go besides here.” He said, “Your people will look down on you if you are a divorced woman.” Feiyan gave a short laugh.

“That is funny. Are you actually concerned about my wellbeing now?” She asked. She leaned over Yixing’s desk and slammed her hands onto the wooden surface.

“It doesn’t matter where I can or should go.” She said firmly, “The important thing is, I do not have to face you and that girl, Ruyi. You two can be as happy together as you want, just out of my sight.” Yixing’s expression darkened.

“Must you really go this far?” He asked. Feiyan’s eyes narrowed.

“You were the one who pushed me to take this step first, Zhang Yixing.” She replied coldly, “You can blame no one but yourself.” Feiyan leaned closer so that their faces were right in front of each other.

“Why should I stay in a place where I neither belong or am welcomed? Why should I subject myself to the maximum unhappiness and suffering?” She asked. Yixing frowned.

“You do belong here.” He protested weakly, “Your role in being married here is-” Feiyan crossed her arms and levelled her gaze at him.

“I know.” She interrupted, “My role here is to be a peacekeeper, a symbol of harmony between the two countries.” The same bitter smile from before turned up one corner of her lips.

“You should remember, Zhang Yixing.” She continued, “I know my place and my role here, and I am more than happy to act out that role for the rest of my life. That said, I am not a weak pushover, nor am I a pawn for you to push around as you wish. Whether I stay here unhappily or leave unhappily, the end result will be the same. There is no harmony to speak of.” Yixing was taken aback by the intensity growing in her eyes. Although swollen from what must have been a bout of crying, there was a fire there that he hadn’t seen before. Before waiting for a response, Feiyan turned and walked to the door.

“I have given you the choice.” She said with an air of finality, “Take your pick.”

____________________________________________________________________________

Feiyan found Yizhong waiting in her tent as she returned.

“Jie, you’re back!” The younger boy welcomed, “I was wondering where you went!” Feiyan smiled faintly and patted the boy’s head.

“What are you doing here, Zhong’er?” She queried. Yizhong grinned and clung onto Feiyan’s arm.

“Yifan told me to come stay with you for a while.” He chirped, “To cheer you up!” Feiyan smiled and ruffled Yizhong’s hair fondly.

“Thank you, Zhong’er.” She said softly. Yizhong thought for a moment before his eyes lit up.

“Ah, I almost forgot!” He declared, “Yifan asked me to see if you found anything else strange about that fake Ruyi!” Feiyan thought for a moment.

“Anything else that is strange?” She mused for a moment before something came to mind.

“Ruyi’s peach blossom perfume!” Feiyan said, “She’s always wearing it, and every time I smell it I feel dizzy and can barely tell what is going on. When I supposedly cut her hand, the same thing happened!” Yizhong’s gaze grew thoughtful and he nodded.

“Okay, I will let Yifan know.” He said, “But for tonight, I’m going to stay here with you!” Feiyan shook her head and gently pushed Yizhong to the door.

“Zhong’er, you are young, but still a prince.” She reminded, “You will soon be at the age to marry. What will people say if they hear that you spent the night alone with me in my tent?”

“But jie!” Yizhong whined, “Yifan told me to-!”

“I will tell Yifan if he asks.” Feiyan interrupted, “But I really need time to think right now, okay Zhong’er?” Yizhong sighed and pouted.

“Alright.” He gave in, “But if you ever need me, just come looking for me!” Feiyan smiled in amusement as she waved Yizhong off, watching as he disappeared over the hill and towards his own tent. She closed her eyes and let the night breeze blow lightly over her face. There was little doubt in her heart about what Yixing would choose to do.

Perhaps this is just my fate.

____________________________________________________________________________

As it turned out, Feiyan did not have to wait long for Yixing’s answer. As Yifan was replacing the bandage on her hand the next morning, Yixing walked into her tent, a beige colored envelope in his hand. Feiyan looked from the envelope to Yixing’s expressionless face and knew immediately what it was. She stretched out her hand for the letter, and Yixing silently placed it into her outstretched palm. Feiyan pulled a single sheet of paper from the envelope and smiled bitterly as she read over its contents. Nearly every possibly relevant reason for a divorce was listed in the official divorce decree, signed and stamped with Yixing’s personal crest. Yifan’s eyes widened as he scanned the contents of the decree.

“What is the meaning of this?” He demanded. Yixing sighed deeply, but his expression didn’t change.

“Princess Feiyan asked for a divorce in exchange for allowing me to marry Ruyi.” He replied, “After thinking about it last night, I decided to grant her request.” Yifan’s gaze darkened.

“Have you lost your mind?” He demanded, “Does Father know about this?” Yixing crossed his arms.

“The princess was my wife, and I alone will decide the fate of our marriage.” He said firmly, “Father does not need to know.” Feiyan felt a chill settle in her chest as she listened to the brothers.

The princess...Princess Feiyan…

It all sounded so...strange, unfamiliar, as if they had not spend nearly half a year as a married couple overcoming crises together. A low growl sounded in Yifan’s throat as Yixing turned to go. Before Feiyan could stop him, Yifan rose from his seat, grabbed Yixing by the collar and punched him across the face, sending the crown prince tumbling to the ground.

“What are you doing?” Yixing snarled as he looked up at his brother.

“Letting you know how it tastes to be hit by a person that you trust and love!” Yifan snapped, “What has gotten into you, Yixing? Even if you do love that woman this much, I can’t believe you are ignoring the entire picture for one person!”

“She asked for the divorce decree and I gave it to her!” Yixing yelled back, “The desire to separate is now mutual!” Yifan snarled and responded with another punch that sent Yixing tumbling back down to the ground.

“You have lost all sense of rationality!” He snapped furiously, “If this is the way you truly are, then you do not deserve Feiyan as your wife! Nor do you deserve to rule this country!” Yixing shoved Yifan away from him.

“It is not your place to tell me that!” He growled.

“How can it not be?” Yifan snapped, “That Ruyi you are about to marry is-!”

“Enough.” Feiyan’s voice was dangerously calm as she interrupted the fight, and both men stopped at the sound of the single word. Feiyan rose to her feet and folded both hands calmly in front of her.

“Yifan, you can hit him as many times as you want.” She said, “But that will not change the reality that we live in. Why bother wasting your energy?” Feiyan then switched her gaze to Yixing.

“As stated in your divorce decree,” She said, “I agree to stay for another week until your wedding to Ruyi. After that, we will have absolutely nothing to do with each other.”

“Feiyan!” Yifan protested. Feiyan smiled and shook her head.

“Thank you, Yifan.” She said, “But it’s really enough.” Yixing glared at Yifan as he picked himself up off the ground and headed towards the exit.

“Zhang Yixing.” He paused as Feiyan spoke again and turned slightly in her direction.

“I’m very disappointed in you.” She said quietly. Yixing’s hand clenched briefly at her words, but without responding, he turned away and left.

____________________________________________________________________________

One week later

Long before the sun rose into the sky, Feiyan rose from her bed. She lit a single candle on her table and spread a sheet of paper out in front of her. She thought for a moment, then dipped her brush into a small pool of ebony ink, and began to write.

A few hours later, Feiyan returned from the kitchen and placed a steaming plate of red bean rice cakes on the table next to a folded sheet of paper. Taking one last look around the tent, Feiyan gathered her bundle of belongings and headed out to the stables. The festive red wedding banners fluttered in the wind, drawing a wry smile across Feiyan’s lips. Before long, the bride and groom would begin dressing for the ceremony, the entire camp bustling with activity. She slipped onto her chosen horse and e last time as she reached the top of the hill. Below her, servants were beginning to rise, soft distinct lights beginning to fill the smaller tents on the outer circle of the camp.

As the first rays of sunlight began to streak across the lilac morning sky, Feiyan rode out alone and away from the man she loved.

___________________________________________________________________________

As the rest of the Mongol population lay blissfully unaware of the Ming princess’s departure, a lone rider rode towards the entrance of the tent. His horse was covered in sweat from the exertion of a long and hard ride, but the insignia of the Tibetan people shimmered clearly on the rider’s saddle. At the same time, a royal physician rushed from his tent towards Yifan’s, a stack of papers fluttering in the wind generated by his haste.

“Your Highness!” The physician gasped as he tumbled into the tent, nearly tripping over his feet. Yifan turned from where he had been dressing for some early morning martial arts practice before the wedding began.

“Physician Han!” He exclaimed. A few days earlier, Yifan had bribed one of the cleaning maids to steal a little of Ruyi’s peach blossom perfume and sneak it to him. He had then handed it to Physician Han for testing, one of the few people that Yifan trusted most in the main Mongol camp. The older man quickly pushed the stack of papers into Yifan’s hands.

“That liquid you gave me to test!” He said quickly, “It is highly dangerous!” Before Yifan could continue asking, a second man hurried into Yifan’s tent.

“Prince Yifan!” The man called. The prince looked over in surprise.

“What is the crown prince of Tibet doing here?” He demanded in shock.

____________________________________________________________________________

Yixing

“Yixing!” The crown prince looked up at Yifan stormed into the tent, followed closely by Luhan and a third man he didn’t recognize.

“What do you want now?” He asked, frowning. Yifan slammed a stack of papers onto the table.

“You need to read this.” He said urgently, “You cannot marry that Ruyi today! She is a dangerous fake!” Yixing frowned and crossed his arms as he rose to look at his brother.

“Look, if this is about Feiyan again-” He cut off as Yifan shoved the top sheet into his face. Yixing sighed and gave in.

“Very well, but just what-” His voice cut off again as he began to take in the contents of the paper. It seemed to be a medical report of sorts, an analysis of a type of liquid.

“A poison?” He raised an eyebrow, “Why are you making me read this?” Yifan poked a finger at the paper.

“Because this, is the analysis of the peach blossom perfume that your girl wears all the time!” He replied, “It won’t kill you, but it will take the emotions you hold towards the user and magnify it multiple times while suppressing all other emotions. In the end, that one emotion is the one that takes complete control.” He sighed.

“Which means, as long as you hold feelings for your first love, all your attention and focus will be on Ruyi alone because she is using this on you!” He concluded, “It’s essentially an aphrodisiac to you.” Yixing reeled backwards a little, stunned.

“But...it didn’t work on anyone else!” He protested weakly. Yifan crossed his arms.

“That’s because there are two parts to it.” He replied, “The target must ingest a pill for the perfume to work. Hasn’t that fake Ruyi been making you food since she came here? It must have been in there. It only works on men, which is why Feiyan felt dizzy every time she smelled it.” Yixing frowned, his hand tightening around the paper.

“Why should I believe this?” He asked suspiciously, “You have never liked Ruyi anyway.” Luhan groaned.

“Yifan had Physician Han analyze it!” He stated, “Physician Han is the oldest of the royal physicians here and Father’s most trusted physician. Even if you don’t trust us, you must trust him!” Yixing bit his lip. It was true; Physician Han had been around for so long, Yixing couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t serving the royal family. Instead of answering, Yixing swallowed hard and looked behind the brothers to the unknown third man.

“This is…?” He asked. Yifan motioned the man forward.

“This is Prince Tenzin of Tibet.” He introduced, “He is the crown prince, I met him when I was exploring the borderlands there.” The man came forward and bowed to Yixing.

“I am Tenzin.” He said, showing Yixing his badge, “A little while ago, Yifan sent me a letter regarding a woman who claimed to be my father’s adopted daughter and asked me to investigate.” He reached into his sleeve and pulled out a letter.

“Because it is regarding the royal family, the matter is of utmost importance to me, and hence I personally rushed here to ensure the truth was revealed.” Tenzin said as he handed the letter to Yixing. Yixing frowned and looked over the letter carefully.

“Compare the stamp on it to the one on Ruyi’s letter.” Yifan added. Yixing felt shock settle over him as he read the letter. According to the Tibetan king, he had once adopted a foreigner as a daughter, but she had died a long time ago. Based on the dates listed on the letter, the king’s adopted princess had died before Ruyi had been attacked by bandits at the age of 13. Which meant...Yixing rushed to pull out the letter Ruyi had brought with her and placed the two letters next to each other. While both had a similar stamp, the one on Ruyi’s letter was darker and more firmly pressed into the white paper. On the contrary, the one on Prince Tenzin’s letter had clearly been wobbly pressed, a result of old age and shaking fingers. Yixing felt his heart drop as he compared the handwriting as well.

“This...isn’t your father’s handwriting, is it?” He asked Tenzin. The Tibetan prince shook his head.

“That is impossible.” He said, “My father is very ill and growing weaker every day. Even if he managed to write an entire letter, it would be written in shaky letters like the one I brought. He has not written as stably as the one you hold in a very long time.” Yixing fell back into his chair, multiple trails of thought spinning through his mind. Tenzin reached out and handed Yixing a tiny vial.

“If you still have doubts,” He said, “Please drink this. It is an antidote for the poison.” He smiled as Yixing looked at him in surprise.

“Perhaps that girl is from Tibet, because that perfume was originally made by our people, but was banned many years ago.” He said, “Just in case it every surfaced again, my father ordered an antidote to be made. My brothers and I keep some with us just in case any women try to use it to obtain benefits from us.” Yixing hesitated as he examined the bottle. At this point, there was no way he could deny how solid Yifan’s evidence was. And with Tenzin here, the letter from the king could not be false this time. But still...he was afraid. Afraid that it would all turn out to be a lie.

Get a grip, Zhang Yixing!

He looked at the tiny bottle one more time, then gulped down the antidote. Immediately, he felt as if something was burning in his chest, and then a rush of emotions filled his body at once. Guilt, pain, terror...Yixing almost physically choked as the emotions rushed up in a torrent. Tears filled his eyes unbeckoned as he let out a cry of pain. When the world finally stopped spinning, he found himself hunched over the table, his hand clenched tightly onto the tablecloth. Someone handed him a cup of water, which he gulped down gratefully.

“What was that?” He asked as he finally caught his breath.Tenzin laid a hand on his shoulder.

“The after effects of all the emotions that were slowly becoming suppressed as a result of the poison.” He replied. Yixing’s throat grew dry as he thought back on the torrent of emotions he had felt.

“Were all those...the ones I couldn’t feel towards Feiyan?” He asked quietly. Yifan crossed his arms.

“What do you think?” He asked. Yixing looked down at his hand, suddenly remembering the things he had done during the past few weeks. He could still remember the touch of Feiyan’s cheek against his palm when he had slapped her, the slow shock that had spread across her face afterwards. He could remember the tears in her eyes, the frustration on her face as she insisted that she hadn’t touched Ruyi. And finally, he could remember the pure exhaustion on her face as she had accepted the divorce decree from him that day.

I am disappointed in you, Zhang Yixing, her voice echoed in his head. None of his brothers had been lying to him, Yixing realized now. No, he had been the one who had stubbornly and stupidly believed the words of a stranger and hadn’t even realized the things she had done to him. And now…

Feiyan!

“Brother!” Yizhong’s voice drew his attention before Yixing could move, and the younger prince burst into the tent a few seconds later, completely out of breath.

“Feiyan!” He cried, “Feiyan jie is gone!”

____________________________________________________________________________

Yixing felt dread fill his chest as he hurried after Yizhong towards Feiyan’s tent. Indeed, just as the younger prince had said, the tent was completely empty, save for the two things on the table. Yixing hurried forward and pulled the white envelope out from under the plate on the table. His heart clenched as he recognized Feiyan’s handwriting before pulling the letter out from inside.

“If we had never met, I would have never known how much my heart could hurt.

If we had never met, I would have never understood how it felt to be in a living hell.

But...if we had never met, I would have never known what love is.

If we had never met, I would have never known how much I could care for one person.

If I could choose again...my choices will surely stay the same.

I hope you will not live to regret your choices either.

-Xu Feiyan”

Yixing’s hands trembled as he slowly laid the letter down, his hands clenching tightly around the paper. His gaze slowly switched to the plate on the table, and his trembling fingers slowly picked up a red bean rice cake. It was still warm and chewy, the red bean filling having just the right level of sweetness and texture. In short, it was perfect for him.

Just like Feiyan.

“Ge?” Yizhong asked cautiously, only to be shushed by Yifan.

“What have I done?” Yixing’s voice eked out as his hands continued to shake, “What have I done?” One drop of liquid fell onto Feiyan’s letter, then a second, until with a start, Yixing felt tears begin to rush down his face. He usually wasn’t one to cry; no, that habit had been knocked out of him early on in life. But at the same time, the guilty sobs that arose in Yixing’s chest were uncontrollable as his entire body shook with the effort to make himself stop. He felt Yifan’s hand hesitantly pat him on the shoulder, and after a little while, Yixing finally was able to calm down.

“Find her.” Yixing said quietly. Luhan’s eyes widened.

“What did you say?” He asked. Yixing’s hand clenched firmly around the letter.

“Find Feiyan and bring her back!” He declared, “I don’t care how many men it takes or how far you have to go, just find her!”

______________________________________________________________________________________

Author's note: So...I hope all of this was not too big of a stretch in terms of realistic-ness/too cliche.