Feiyan

Feiyan’s eyes widened as she took in the gravity of what Yifan was saying.

“Yifan, that is not something you can say rashly.” She warned. To lie to royalty was a crime worthy of a lifetime of incarceration. Pretending to be a princess and tricking the entire royal family was certainly asking for execution. Yifan shook his head.

“I am not being rash.” He said, “I noticed something strange when Father first put on a feast to welcome Ruyi back. The Tibetan people never eat donkey meat, but Ruyi easily ate it that day. Also, when the Tibetan women always sit on the right side of tents, it is taboo to sit on the left. But I have seen multiple times when Ruyi sat on the left without even looking embarrassed or moving.” Yifan looked at them intently.

“While she says she has been with the Tibetan people for only five years, that is more than enough time to learn their etiquette.” He analyzed, “That applies especially if the king adopted her. Perhaps a lot of people do not realize this because they are little known facts, but after traveling so much with the army, I’ve learned my fair share of foreign cultures.” Feiyan frowned.

“Then, if she isn’t Ruyi…” She fell silent as her thoughts spun around her head for a few moments. If her guesses about Yilong had been right, then he surely couldn’t be expected to give up the fight to get rid of Yixing so easily.

“Could she be a part of Yilong’s next attempt to remove Yixing from his position?” Feiyan guessed. Both brothers looked up in alarm and didn’t say anything, but their reaction was enough to confirm that they were thinking the same thing. Feiyan held up a hand as Yizhong opened his mouth.

“It doesn’t matter how I guessed.” She answered before he could ask, “What matters is how we’re going to confirm this guess. At the very least, Yixing must know that this Ruyi is a fake.”

“But how?” Yizhong asked, “She had a letter from the Tibetan king and all the background checks proved what she was saying.” Yifan scoffed.

“The current king is old and easy to sway.” He commented, “It would be child’s play to fake his signature as long as someone can be paid to do the task. With his poor eyesight, he may have signed it without even knowing what it really was.” Yifan thought for a moment, tapping his chin.

“I still have some contacts in the Tibetan military.” He said, “I will send them a letter and have them check into this Ruyi’s identity.” He looked down at Feiyan.

“The thing is...Tibet isn’t exactly close by.” He warned, “It may take over two weeks at least to get a response. Can you hold out for that long?” Feiyan smiled faintly.

“I will do my best.” She promised.

____________________________________________________________________________

A little while later

I did say I would try my best, Feiyan thought, But that is far easier said than done.

The music spinning around her was starting to make her head throb, which didn’t help the ache she was feeling in her chest as she saw the lovestruck look on Yixing’s face as he watched Ruyi dance. Usually at the monthly afternoon feast where immediate members of the royal family and the top court officials gathered together for lunch, it would be the crown princess’s duty to prepare performances and entertainment. This time however, Yixing had asked Ruyi to perform instead and watch over the preparations for the meal. He was making it more than a little obvious who the favored woman was. Feiyan’s eyes watched carefully as Ruyi leapt and spun. Something about her dancing style seemed off, although Feiyan couldn’t place a finger on it. The grace and beauty of a Chinese dancer was all there, but while the movements were fluid, Feiyan found something strange about it. Her thoughts were interrupted as the dance came to an end and the audience erupted into applause. She sighed and forced herself to politely clap as well. Yixing rose from his seat and joined Ruyi in the middle as she bowed politely to the khan.

“Father, I have a request to make.” He said with a formal bow. The khan looked at the couple standing in front of him.

“What is it, Yixing?” He asked. Yixing hesitated before looking up bravely at his father.

“I would like to marry Ruyi.” He declared, “Not as a concubine, but as a princess consort.” Startled murmurs spread throughout the seated nobles, and Feiyan felt go dry. She felt a chill run down her back, and blood began to roar in her ears as she slowly processed Yixing’s request.

If Yixing marries her as a princess consort...then for all intents and purposes, Ruyi will be on the same status as me. Although I would be the main wife, his favoritism for her would at the very least make us equal…

The khan’s voice broke into her thoughts.

“I am not against you taking a second wife, Yixing.” The khan replied, “But first, you must obtain your wife’s permission, as per our tradition.” Feiyan saw Yixing grit his teeth as he bowed.

“I know, Father.” He replied. Ruyi looked over at Feiyan and hurried over to the princess’s side.

“Feiyan jie jie!” She said sweetly as she tugged on Feiyan’s hand, “Will you give us your blessings and permission?” Feiyan felt her free hand tighten into a fist below the table, and slowly rose from her seat.

“You are older than me, Ruyi.” She replied as she forced herself to be calm, “Please do not call me jie.” Ruyi smiled and shook her head.

“When I marry Xing gege, you will be the first wife.” She answered, “It is only right that I call you jie jie.” The mention of marriage sent the billowing fire inside Feiyan sparking into something more.

“I am not your sister!” She finally snapped, losing the little calm she had managed to keep a hold on, “Nor will I ever be, whether in marriage or through other means!” Feiyan yanked her hand out of Ruyi’s grasp, sending the girl tumbling backwards in surprise as she lost her balance. Yixing moved faster than Feiyan had ever seen him before, one arm reaching out quickly to catch Ruyi before she fell. Feiyan saw pure anger burning in his eyes as he turned to look at Feiyan.

“Xu Feiyan!” Before Feiyan could say a single word, Yixing raised his hand into the air and slapped Feiyan across the cheek, the sound cracking throughout the feast area. Gasps of shock filled the air along with an alarmed shout from the khan, followed by dead silence. Feiyan felt herself freeze, a numb sensation slowly spreading to overtake the sting that had initially settled in. Something wet was dripping from her lip; Feiyan reached up and swiped a finger across the corner of and saw that it came away with a drop of red liquid on it.

Blood.

Yixing had hit her so hard, her lip had been cut open. She felt no pain; at least, not in her face. As Feiyan turned slowly to look back at her husband, she saw a brief moment of shock spread over his eyes before being replaced again by the initial anger.

“Do not think that you can do as you’d like just because of your current status.” Yixing snarled, “I am your husband, and you will listen to what I say! I will marry Ruyi no matter what your thoughts on the matter are!” Feiyan felt a cold bitterness settle into her heart and she carefully scrubbed the blood off before speaking.

“Now you are going to claim that you are my husband?” She asked as she leveled her gaze at Yixing, “Now that it is to your benefit, you are going to play the role of the powerful and capable husband?” Yixing took a deep breath and nodded.

“Indeed.” He said, “And you can do nothing about it.” He tightened his grasp on Ruyi’s shoulders.

“Let us go, Ruyi.” He said, and gently led her away, leaving behind only the faint scent of peach blossoms.

“Zhang Yixing!” The khan snapped sharply, clearly intending to reprimand his son, but Yixing paid him no heed. Feiyan fell numbly back into her seat, all sound fading to a distant hum at the back of her mind.

What have I done to deserve this…?

____________________________________________________________________________

Feiyan sat silently as Luhan carefully wiped at her cut, Yizhong holding a bowl of warm water next to him.

“What was my brother thinking?” Luhan muttered, “Slapping the crown princess in front of all those people! He’s not usually so irrational.”

“He shouldn’t have raised his fist in the first place!” Yizhong complained furiously, “I don’t know what sort of medicine that girl gave to Yixing, to have him obsess over her like this!” Feiyan didn’t respond; her tongue felt as numb as her face, unable to move even though she wanted it to. Luhan sighed.

“I wish Tibet wasn’t so far away.” He said wistfully, “Then Yifan’s letter wouldn’t take so long to arrive and obtain a reply!” Yizhong shook his head.

“At this rate, Yixing wouldn’t listen even if we had evidence.” He said sadly. Luhan gently applied medication to Feiyan’s lip and packed the medicine kit away.

“In any case, get some rest.” He told her, “Zhong’er and I will come back tomorrow.” Feiyan forced a tiny smile to her lips and nodded. As the two men left, Feiyan felt the familiar burn of tears at the back of her eyes and closed her eyes to push them back down.

I am so tired.

___________________________________________________________________________

One week later

Feiyan watched from the window in her tent as servants scurried around the main camp, busy preparing for the upcoming wedding. Although Feiyan had not given her permission, Yixing had plunged ahead with preparations. In the meantime, he had somehow managed to find an exception in Mongol history where a prince had been allowed to marry another wife without his first wife’s permission because his first wife had been unable to bear him children. To the rest of the Mongol population, Feiyan fell into that category. Feiyan frowned and poked at her stomach.

“He can’t fully blame me for that.” She muttered, “Why should I have to bear the full blame for that?” Now that the attention was off of her for the most part though, Feiyan finally had the time to think. As she thought back to Ruyi’s dance that day, she finally realized what had struck her as odd. Chinese dance, no matter where in history you looked, emphasized the lightness and grace of the body. When Ruyi had danced, the style seemed to match, but there was a hint of a heaviness to her body as well. It was almost as if she had been originally taught in a different style and then learned a separate method of dancing over it later on.

“Feiyan jie jie?” Feiyan froze at the familiar voice. She took a deep breath to steel herself before turning.

Speak of the devil.

Ruyi stood near the table in the center of Feiyan’s tent, a plate of fruit in her hands. Feiyan sighed.

“What is it?” She asked, crossing her arms. Ruyi smiled and placed the fruit on the table.

“This isn’t much, but I would like to apologize for what happened the other day.” She said, “I already explained to Xing gege that I lost my balance and that it wasn’t your fault. He understands that now.” Feiyan could barely resist the urge to scoff.

You must take me for a fool! If he really did believe you, then he wouldn’t have avoided me like the plague for the past week!

Still, Feiyan pressed a thin smile to her lips and walked over to the table.

“You don’t need to blame yourself.” She lied, “I have already forgotten about the incident.” Feiyan reached out and plucked a piece of fruit and the fruit knife off the tray. If she didn’t like Ruyi, she at least know how to act like she did.

“Oh, please let me cut it.” Ruyi insisted, reaching across the table for the knife, “It is only right that I do it.” Feiyan shook her head.

“It’s fine-” She began, but cut off as Ruyi leaned closer to her. The same scent of peach blossoms that always surrounded her filled Feiyan’s nose, immediately making her woozy and dizzy, as if there was a choking cloud surrounding her head. As she fought to clear her head, the knife slipped slightly from her hand, and she heard a startled cry come from nearby. Feiyan reached out to search for the source of the sound, and to her surprise, found the fruit knife still in her hand, but with the blade slightly wet with blood. As her head cleared, Feiyan saw Ruyi cradling her hand, a small stream of blood running down her palm.

What just…?

“Ruyi!” Yixing’s voice drew Feiyan’s attention, and she felt dread fill her heart as she saw him standing in the doorway, taking in the scene in front of him. Feiyan knew exactly what the scene looked like. She was the one holding the knife, Ruyi was the one injured. Once again, Feiyan was the aggressor. And once again, Feiyan had let herself fall into a trap. Yixing fussed over Ruyi for a few moments before turning angrily to Feiyan.

“What are you doing?” He demanded, “Is this the way you will treat someone who kindly came to apologize to you?” Feiyan sighed and looked down at the knife, knowing that it was futile to argue or defend herself. In any case, she had been so dizzy she herself barely knew what had happened. All Feiyan knew was that she surely had not lunged forward across the table in her woozy state to cut Ruyi. That was simply impossible, given her condition at the time. She swallowed hard and looked directly at Yixing.

“Does it really matter how I answer that question?” Feiyan replied. She looked at the knife again, reached up, and sliced a neat thin line across her own palm. Yixing’s eyes widened as the cut began to bleed and Feiyan tossed the knife onto the ground.

“Feiyan...you….” He seemed at a loss for words. Feiyan levelled her gaze at him coldly.

“An eye for an eye, right?” She said as she let her hand drop to her side, “Isn’t that what a warrior tribe like yours likes to emphasize?” Yixing seemed dumbfounded, stuck between shock at what Feiyan had done and outrage at her alleged actions. Ignoring them both, Feiyan kicked the knife away from her on the ground and left.
 

___________________________________________________________________________

Yifan tsked as he placed a bowl of warm water onto the table and began to clean Feiyan’s hand. Unsure of where to go, the young princess had wandered aimlessly around the main camp until she reached the stables where Yifan had been checking on the military horses. He had taken one look at her hand and guessed what had happened. Feiyan flinched as Yifan carefully smoothed medicine over the cut.

“It’s deeper than I imagined.” He mused, “You didn’t have to go so far, Feiyan.” Feiyan shook her head silently and bit down on her lip to keep from crying out as Yifan began to bandage her hand. Her hand trembled slightly with the effort, and Yifan sighed as he tucked the end of the white bandage under the rest of the cloth.

“Feiyan.” He said softly, “Don’t stop yourself from crying. If it hurts, you don’t have to stay silent.” Feiyan felt herself waver at the sound of Yifan’s gentle tone. In many ways, Yifan’s tough warrior exterior but gentle interior reminded her of Tianjun. Whenever Feiyan felt hurt or upset in the past and was too proud to show it, it was only in front of Tianjun’s gentle comfort that she let herself expose her emotions. Tears began to bubble up in her eyes as she looked up at Yifan.

“Yifan…” She said quietly, “Will you lend me your arms for a little while?” Yifan chuckled and pulled her into a warm hug.

“Of course, Feiyan.” He said soothingly. Tears began to flow down Feiyan’s cheeks, and one sob, and then another, escaped Feiyan’s mouth. It wasn’t her hand that hurt; no, more than her pride, more than her self esteem, her heart ached so much she thought it would burst.

“It hurts!” She cried as her hands clenched tightly onto Yifan’s shoulders, “It really hurts!” Yifan didn’t say anything; he just held her tightly and patted a soothing hand on her back.

“What did I ever do to deserve this?” Feiyan sobbed. Yifan shook his head and patted her on the shoulder gently.

“Nothing, Feiyan.” He said soothingly, “You have done nothing wrong.” Thoughts floated through Feiyan’s mind as she cried into Yifan’s shoulder.

Why do I feel this way…?

Why does it hurt so much…?

I...love it when Yixing smiles.

I love it when I can make Yixing happy, no matter how small the act is.

I worry when it seems like someone wants to harm him.

I feel so safe when he protects me.

I once felt like as long as Yixing was there, nothing could ever go wrong.

I...love him.

____________________________________________________________________________

Yixing

Yixing looked up as soft footsteps approached his desk, and frowned as he saw Feiyan approach his desk.

“What do you want?” He asked coldly. Feiyan’s expression was equally cold. Yixing couldn’t help but look towards her hand though, and a strange feeling of relief briefly flooded his chest as he saw that it had been properly treated. Feiyan took a deep breath before speaking.

“If you want to marry Ruyi, then go ahead.” She declared. Yixing’s eyes widened in surprise.

“You’re giving me permission?” He asked, shocked. Feiyan nodded and held out her hand.

“But before you do.” She continued, “Please divorce me. That is my one condition for your marriage to that girl.”