January 17- Day 1

I loved and hated the cancer ward at the same time. I loved being there for children who had no one to listen to them and also for those who didn’t know what to say in the first place. Knowing I could help them in some way, I kept myself awake at night when I was lying down, wondering what the hell I was meant to do with my life. It was in the cancer ward where I met Jeon jungkook, on January 17th, it was a gray afternoon Which promised nothing in particular. I took his file which was with the others in my desk, I had it in my hands, it was heavy, heavier than normal. I slid my fingers over it to open it, but I resisted, knowing that it was best to go and meet him face to face first before I had any first impression of him. I went to his hospital room with my usual warm smile, getting ready to meet My new patient. He was half-sitting on his bed, his shining brown eyes glued to his laptop between his legs, his face was pale, with jet-black hair above his lovely forehead, a little disturbed as if he had just awakened.

"Hello," I said putting my folder between my chest and my arms trying to show a friendly attitude. “ I am Taehyung.”

He did not move, just blinked and said a little sharply. "Hello, are you here to make me feel better?" I wasn’t discouraged. I had had that reaction with other patients before.

I discovered that while everyone wanted someone to listen to them, nobody really wanted to open up and say what they felt.- I would just like to talk, make you feel better is the pills work.

He turned his gaze to me, his face still without expression. "You're not the first to try to make me feel better.”

I just nodded. My supervisor had informed me of Jungkook's craze to run the therapists, but I liked to think that all that was not true. "I heard that way ..." I walked over to him and took a chair. "Would you mind if I sit here? "He shrugged." Come in. "I sat on the chair crossing my legs. As I looked at him, I tried to feel what he was feeling. Jungkook, on the other hand, ignored my presence, looking at his laptop, it seemed that he was being absorbed by this one. He looked small in his sheets, his strong shoulders dwarfed by a pile of pillows and a quilt wrapped around his waist. He had an air of defeat, as if he had looked to the future and accepted his fate. He wore death like a cloak. "Do you want to talk, or should I just sit here while the hour is over?" I asked, drawing some kind of conversation, resting my elbows on my knees as I looked at him.

He murmured evasively, running his finger slowly over the laptop mouse. I nodded, accepting his answer. If he did not want to talk, there was nothing else i could do. I could not force him. "" All right,  then"I replied.

I opened my bag and took out a book entitled "The Great Gatsby." I opened the book right where the tab was, as I began to read. I had read this book for the first time in my English class and I was hooked on the metaphors and the way the words came together, almost like poetry. The book still had silly pencil annotations that I had made, they were supposed to help me "understand the novel." The hour passed quickly, with no word articulated in the hospital room. It wasn’t the best meeting i had ever had, but i was prepared for Jeon jungkook’s challenge. I watched as the digital clock by his bed changed to 9:00 p.m. I put my book back in my bag and closed it. "See you next week, Jungkook.” I said giving him a small smile. I was about to turn around and leave, when he spoke. His lips moving slowly as words came out of his mouth.

"I like that book."

I stopped and looked at him. "Me too.”

He nodded minimally. "So he led us to death through the cold twilight.”

I tried not to keep my mouth open as I looked at him. He was quoting the book. This boy who had spoken no more than ten words, was quoting Gatsby as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"It's beautiful." At last I said, I was not sure what was beautiful exactly, but it was beautiful and clouded my brain.

"I know." I stared at him for a long time, hoping to say something else before I left, but it was not like that, I said goodbye and went home.

January 24- Day 81

. Of course I had not spent all week with his words circling my head. That would be stupid. He hadn’t been waiting until Tuesday either, and he certainly hadn’t been counting the hours until eight o'clock. Or maybe he did.

When I entered the hospital room I felt a strange mixture of hope and a persistent nervousness, Jungkook looked up at me when I entered, but quickly returned his eyes to the screen in front of him, without any expression.

"Hello," I said, taking a chair by his bed without asking. The chair had no pillow, but it was comfortable and large enough so I could lie down on it a little. He nodded his head in greeting, he still ignored my existence. I let out a sigh. I thought this would be easier. "Do you think we can talk this time?" I asked, having some hope.

"What do you want to talk about?" He answered in a tone of affirmation rather than question.

"You can tell me about yourself," I suggested. I knew he could make it open with me, I knew.

"Someone didn’t read my file." He smiled, nodding as he looked at the file in my hands.

“I don’t like to have a first impression of the person, I prefer to hear how you are from yourself.” I answered, trying not to let his attitude affect me. He had cancer for God's sake, he was allowed to be a little insolent. He seemed satisfied with my answer.

"Well, let me tell you that you're here because I'm depressed." He said with malice, without any sign of encouragement at all. "Because it seems that a brain tumor and six months of life at seventeen is something that I have to be happy.”

"No one said you have to be happy," I replied. I felt a kind of sadness in my heart. Six months. Six months and his body would stop. "But I