It was over 10:30 PM when we finally decided to go home.
Suga, J-Hope, and Krystal weren't entirely sober. I offered to take Jungkook back to the hospital as he found it difficult to go alone.
We got into a taxi that stopped in front of us, a yawn appeared on my face as I slipped on my seatbelt. I adjusted my jacket as Jungkook gave the driver the address.
He leaned back and gave me a crooked smile as we drove to the hospital, the permanent home of Jungkook.
"Don't you get tired of sleeping in a hospital bed?" I asked.
A lot of terminal patients preferred to die in the comfort of their home.
"It's my bed now. " He answered with a small smile that showed his teeth.
"So you'd rather live in the hospital?" "I loved my house, it was so comfortable, I could not imagine myself sleeping all night with the hospital bustle. One of my favorite parts of the day was to enter my room, to get into my bed and cover myself completely with the sheets, it was like a small space where for a moment the world couldn't hurt me.
"You have no idea how many times I've had this kind of conversation with my mother."
"I don't think we talked much about your mother yet," I said, joking a little.
He let out a sort of feigned sad noise. "If I had known you were going to make me talk about my feelings, I would have walked home!"
I let out a laugh, It was a laugh that sounded a little less sober because of the beer he had previously taken.
"You, walk to your house? It would be more like dragging you home."
" One day you will start dragging me. "He answered me sarcastically as he moved a little from his place and leaned against the door of the taxi looking at me sideways. "My mother is good. She still doesn't understand what happens to me or what I really want. But I guess she tries to understand."
" You tried to explain what you feel? "I asked enjoying the music from the radio, feeling the noise of the engine, the smell of the taxi, but especially the aroma of Jungkook.
He shrugged as he tapped the taxi mat with his foot. "I really don't want her to know how I feel. It's better that way."
" Why? " I wanted to understand, but I couldn't. It seemed to me that all the decisions she made made things more difficult for Jungkook.
"Because it is easier for her to believe that she helps me with everything she does." He answered me with his eyes fixed on the taxi mat, leaning forward in a shadow with his body.
"Maybe she could help you if you explain what's wrong with you," I suggested, but maybe he was right. Maybe if she didn't know how the cancer was affecting him and how he felt about it could protect her from a great sadness. Jungkook wanted to make his mother believe that there was still room to buy him a little more time to live.
"No." His voice was defensive.
I slid my hand down the gray seat and placed my fingers in his. "You're right ... I know I undrestant"
 "So ... what did you and J-Hope talk about?" He asked me, it was typical Jungkook to change the subject.
"We talked about the metaphor of eating the icing first and then the cake." I replied by lying to him, letting the conversation be easy without so many questions."J-Hope thought eating the icing first is a symbol of sweet childhood, and then when eating the cake is a symbol of bitter adulthood. I had my own theory in which eating glaze first means that you understand that you should enjoy the best parts of life while you can, instead, when you eat the cake without separating these, it is like living a hurried life without stopping at Enjoy it."
He snorted, squeezing my hand as he returned to his former position so I could see his face without shadow. "You're a damn liar."
"Why would I lie to you?" I asked, before I could stop him a laugh came out of my mouth.
I didn't use to laugh easily. But then I assumed that before I met Jungkook I didn't do many things. I wasn't unhappy. But if dying was like falling, then my life was