JiYong wasn’t left alone in the next few days, and not in a bad way. After Jiyong went back to the apartment from the hospital, his mum had come straight to his apartment and cradled her broken son in her arms as he cried his heart out. The next day, Youngbae had commanded him to come and stay with him and Hyorin, he hated the thought of JiYong by himself in his misery. So he took up residence in the spare bedroom of Youngbae’s home, he didn’t leave the room. Youngbae was trying to be strong for the both of them but it was so hard.

Hyorin cooked them dinner and brought it to JiYong but he refused to eat and stayed bundled in his duvet. When they finally got him down to the kitchen, Jiyong just stirred the food around the plate, took about one bite and then just stared into space. Youngbae often came and sat with Jiyong through the night.

Yg told the world four days after it happened. JiYong received a phone call from hyunsuk on the fourth day. He sent him a draft of the article he was going to release and Jiyong couldn't get through it without breaking down.

We are devastated to announce that after two years of fighting cancer, Lee Seungri, the beloved Maknae of Bigbang passed away last tuesday night. He had spent the day surrounded by loved ones and passed peacefully and painlessly in his sleep.

We wish to share our great sorrow with the fans and we hope you understand that all albums from bigbang are postponed. Seungri was in the middle of recording his album and we may be releasing that in the future.

We can only ask that you give the rest of bigbang time and space to mourn and grieve for their lost one.

Much love.

It was a short article but Jiyong just sent back a thumbs up before falling back onto his sheets. The funeral was tomorrow and JiYong just wasn’t ready to say goodbye. The last year had been so busy and such an emotional rollercoaster. He had grown so used to his schedule.

Get up in the morning, have a shower and make some coffee, bring Seungri his medication in bed, go to the hospital for Seungri’s chemo session, spend some time in the studio on his album, more medication for Seungri, cuddle his husband as much as possible, relax in the evening, cook a nutritious dinner, go to sleep. That had been his routine up until the last few months of Seungri’s life.

After chemo had stopped though, things had become harder and the day had been filled with giving Seungri painkillers, trying to make him as comfortable as possible in the last few months. And then the last few weeks in hospital, all he had been able to do was watch as Seungri drifted between being conscious and unconscious, and when he was conscious - he was usually delirious but in the odd lucid moments Jiyong never had failed to show Seungri how much he loved him.

When JiYong had been woken up that night by the doctor, he hadn’t understood what was going on. He had sleepily just let himself be carried by the doctor to the chair. And then he saw more nurses coming in and he had woken up from his sleepy state; and then he had seen the flatlined heart monitor.

Jiyong shuddered at the memory and buried his face in the pillow. Hyorin came up at some point in the day and handed him a sandwich. Jiyong ate it but it just tasted like cardboard in his mouth. Youngbae had packed an overnight bag for him. Dami was driving him to Gwangju which was where the funeral was going to be.

The media were having a field day, the fans...not so much. It was a ripple of shock through the industry, tributes were made on awards shows. Seungri had been a well loved idol by not only the fans, but other idols as well. He had tended to make friends with everyone and it seemed that the whole industry was grieving for the loss of an angel.

The funeral was the first time that Jiyong had seen Daesung and Seunghyun since everything and Seunghyun opened his long arms and wept into JiYong’s shoulder, Daesung looked so impossibly sad and JiYong hugged his brothers close and cried gently in their comforting arms.

The headstone was simple, it simply read “In memory of a loving Brother, Husband and Son.”

The funeral was a small and private affair but somehow the paparazzi found out about it and they were crowded on the way out of the cemetery. Jiyong kept his face down and his arms folded over his chest, he didn’t want to be seen. He couldn’t believe how disrespectful people could be and they were all yelling for them to look at the camera. How could they be so disrespectful at a funeral.

The wake was simple as well, Hanna spoke of her brother in a Eulogy and JiYong just drank his way through the night, eventually, Youngbae took them back to the hotel they were staying at and JiYong waited until they were all asleep before cracking out a bottle of whisky and staring at it in contemplation.

In the end he decided he didn’t give a about his life anymore and opened the lid before taking a swig. Youngbae found him passed out in a puddle of his own puke the next morning and helped clean his best friend up, little did he know that it was only the start.

When Jiyong returned to Seoul, he didn’t talk to anybody - he locked himself up in