Hospital

"You’re a brat,” says Hongbin. Lightly, he cradles Seongi’s head that’s buried in his stomach.

The girl hiccups, her red eyes peer through the thick glass that separates them and her brother. No flowers in sight, except for the frail boy and his breathing mask and the life supporting machine.

“I’m sorry,” says Seongi. “It was an accident.”

It wasn't an accident. Hongbin saw.

He wipes the tears off her puffy cheeks. She looks up at him fearfully. What for? He's not her parents or God that holds judgements and makes the final sentence. He is a passerby stumbling upon an unfortunate event. He is an empathetic passerby.

The voice below him gurgles. Something about a dream. Something about a secret flower field up on the northern mountain. “Just like in your painting, Hongbin-ssi.” She dreams of a sea of lavender that the children can get lost in.

The breathing mask is condensed with carbon dioxide. He looks suffocated instead of breathing free.

She tells Hongbin that she was picking a flower in that vast field. The flower was her brother. The stem was the cord that connecting him to the supplement tank. So it was no accident.

Hongbin understands that she wants the most beautiful thing to herself, especially the most gorgeous thing in its prime time. He was dying anyway. If she plucks him off the ground. He will live by her side forever.

“Seongi.”

Seongi glances past Hongbin’s stomach. She doesn’t break into a run into the arms of the woman calling her.

“Seongi.” Her voice breaks like water past the dam. She walks quickly past Hongbin. The brief glances exchanged between them will save a load of troubles for Seongi: he is telling the woman “no.”

Her charging stance relaxes. She holds her shoulders lightly; both of them will rive if she asserts more force. “Why?” She brushes past her hair gently. Her voice softer.

“Minah unnie.” She buries her face in her shoulders to stiffen a howl. “I’m sorry.

“I killed him.”

The coffee cups warm their hands. The pink ugly chairs in the hospital corridor are hard on their backs, but they barely notice.

“You’re Hongbin,” says Minah. “I heard so much about you from my sister.”

“I didn’t know she has a pretty sister.”

Minah cracks a smile; it quickly dissipates. “Those two hated each other since birth. They became best friends after he got sick. Ironic, isn’t it?”

“Maybe they never did hate each other. They were playing a game.”

“Or they are playing a game right now. They’ll go back to hating each other once he gets better.” Minah stares at her cup. She is finding assurance that he will indeed get better.

“It makes sense that they will go against each other; they’re both so strong.”

Minah smiles for the second time. “I’m always the weakest one in the family. I’ve never seen my parents cried in front of my brother. Not once. I’m really different from the rest of them.” She looks over to Hongbin. “Thanks for being around Seongi. I’m so busy at the broadcast station. I can only come by after midnight.”

The Midnight Angel---Hongbin tries to hold on to that nickname. The name fits for someone who protects people while no one looks. His life is being touched by the Midnight Angel obviously.

Hongbin likes the idea. A lot.

Minah smiles at him again. Hongbin’s heart trembles as he memorizes her features for another painting in his collection.

Hongbin’s

The ringing of the bell sounds like rounds of bullets attack Hongbin’s apartment. Hongbin groans in his bed and wrinkles his bedsheet and blanket. He stuffs his ears with his pillow. It’s just Ken. He can go away. He cocoons himself all around, and he only pokes his nose out to breathe a little through his thick blanket. 

“Hongbin,” says the shrill voice on the other side of the door. The early morning visitor bangs on the door and sounds determine to shred the door down with pure will. “Hongbin-ah, open the door.” 

Hongbin’s eyes shoot open. Crap, that is not Ken. He scrambles out of his bed. And a draft of wind hits his torso. He shivers and stalks back towards the bed. He buries his front in the blanket. Bam. Bam. Bam. The visitor is going to wake the neighbours up and the cops will be here in five minutes. Hongbin groans. He rolls around to wrap himself in his blanket then gets up again. He throws open the door and is about to yell when Leo falls all over on top of him. 

“Now you decided to show up in ing three in the morning,” says Hongbin. “Am I just some booty call to you?” 

Leo pushes him back, indicating he heard his cursing. “I don’t just like your . I like you too,” says Leo with a slur.

“God, you’re so annoying and beautiful.” Hongbin opens up his blanket to bundle them up. Hongbin jolts awake a bit when something soft and warm spreads from his chest to the rest of the body. Plus some stink of alcohol reeks from Leo sticks on him. “Hongbin…” Leo slurs his words. 

Hongbin drags themselves both to his twin-sized bed. Leo’s weight crushes Hongbin heavily. The smaller man grunts before pushing Leo to his right side. He untangles the blanket to cover Leo up to his chest. He wraps an arm on top of his body. Leo mumbles something about Sojin. Hongbin tells him to shut up, he needs his beauty sleep. The man of his dream keeps his lips sealed for a bit. Though the peacefulness does not last long when he hears quiet sniffing. The sniffs become hiccups, and then sobs. Hongbin jerks his eyes wide. He does not believe his ears so he has to witness Leo’s frowns and feels his heaving chest under his arm. Hongbin pulls him close to himt. He hums a soft tone that his dad sang to him when he was young. The singing and the crying weave a horror story soundtrack. Hongbin sings himself to sleep. 

Hongbin must have slept for an hour or so when he is woken up by something soft tracing patterns on his back. 

“They can’t get over how I chose the path of a broadcaster. I can’t be a public servant that they always wanted me to be.” Leo sounds more sober than before. “Who knows that their precious quiet son wants to be on TV?” His chuckles echo sadly in the dark room. “I don’t want to be with a girl. I want to live my life the way I want. They want their only son marrying a nice girl. I don’t blame them. They think their son is the hidden gem that everyone should sought after.” Leo sighs. “The girl I got set up with today was so annoying. She asked me if I have a house already. None of her business.” Another sigh. “I miss Sojin. The only other person who wants me is a crazy person. How can they not see that?” 

Hongbin keeps his breath shallow, his back is still turned to him. 

Leo lays his cheek against his . “It’s hard to stay single. They won’t ever leave me alone. I should just settle down with a plain girl. I will go on to live my normal life.” 

Hongbin flips around on his side. In the darkness, he presses his hand to the bed to resist his hair, telling him that he wouldn’t be content being an anonymous, average person, being lost in the stream of people. Leo moves an inch away from him and turns his back on him.

He is tempted.

Hongbin throws his arms all over him. “Pretend you’re leaving me a message.” 

“Lee Hongbin, you already knew that I keep going back to you because I’m lonely. I don’t really like you.” 

“You’re lying and I don’t care,” says Hongbin. He wills his voice not to shake so he can talk some sense into his boyfriend. “You love how crazy and unpredictable I am. It’s much better than your boring, goal-oriented life. Or some plain girl who you’ll have to marry one day.” He leaves a tender peck on the back, telling him that he’s there for him. 

Leo clings onto him tighter. “Exactly. You’re not a woman, you can’t give me what I want.” 

Hongbin would ask him “what about love?”. But he’s not that delusional to think that it’s important to him. He just wants his Taekwoon to be around.

Hongbin wakes up to the whirring sound of the coffee machine. The salty smell of buttered bagels had coaxed him out of his bed. He hauls himself on a stool. “I have bagels at home?”

Leo plucks out two breads out of the toaster and lays them on the plates. He pushes them to Hongbin. “I found them at the back of your freezer. They expired last month.”

Hongbin spits out the chewed bits in his plate.

Leo cringes. “Eat your food properly. They are still edible.”

Hongbin bites on the crispy bread. The butter melts on his tongue.

“Did you brush your teeth yet?”

Hongbin ignores his nagging and devours his breakfast quickly.

 eo nods his head over at the paintings burying the couch. “What are all that for?”

Hongbin wipes his sticky hands on his pajama pants, he got another frown from Leo. He takes Leo’s wrist to pull him along towards his mini exhibition. He points at the centrepiece. It is the blue sketching of Taekwoon running towards the finish line. “You were part of my last exhibition. You are so beautiful.”

Leo runs his hands over the lines that make up who he is. “I know how good looking I am but I never liked running. My parents thought a few medals would look good on my portfolio.”

“That doesn’t matter now.” He put two hands on Leo’s tensed shoulders. He levels himself at his eye-level. “You’re going to be a part of my portfolio that I’m going to show Ravi. I haven’t showed him my stuff for years, he better likes them. I think he will fall for you.”

“Why do you like me?”

Hongbin's gaze falls on the painting. “Look at you. What not to like about you?”

“That’s just a drawing. You were the one drawing me.”

Hongbin’s index finger traces Leo’s real neckline lightly. “How do you know that you’re not the one I like? I have to like you to create a masterpiece. You are a beautiful inspiration.”

Leo puts up his hands. “Your pick-up line isn’t working. You don’t have to like me to draw me like a god. You can just like the concept of me.”

Hongbin dares to take a step forward. “Real or not. You came to me on your term. You’re still here with me. That’s enough for me.”

Leo stares at his portrait again. Hongbin smirks. “I don't mind that you came to me because you’re lonely. I am too. I'll always be available for you.” He stares into his eyes earnestly. Leo looks off again. Hongbin knows that he has him. He had him all along.

“I will give one drawing to you. Pick one.”

“I don't want anything.” Leo moves away and occupies an armchair instead. “What are you going to say when you meet Ravi? Are you going to tell him you went crazy because of him?”

Hongbin doesn’t look at him. “No point telling him that. He probably knew already. I'll just do business with him.”

“How can you be so sure that he’s moved on?”

“Because I'm not the one he's in love with.” He grins. “We were never meant to be.”

“We are not meant to be either, but I’m here.” Leo lowers himself on the floor again. He slides in closer until his fingertips touch the back of Hongbin’s hand.

“You’re a rebel. Like playing with fire.” Hongbin curls his fingers into his. He can’t really suppress his smile either. “What are you going to do with girls now?”

“Nothing. I’ll live and die alone.”

“Are you going to tell them that you’re gay?”

"There’s no point.” Leo’s answer misses no beat. “I’m old enough to decide for myself.”

“You have to tell them eventually. They won’t let you off the hook. You’ll have to have a wife and kids one day. I thought you like that. To keep up with your perfect man image.”

“I wanted that. It didn’t work out.”

“‘What are you going to do?’

“They can’t do anything about my life when when I’m rich and famous.”

Hongbin leans over to peck his lips ever so lightly. “You’re so naive. You’re working hard for them, not for yourself.” Hongbin spots Leo flinching, so he breaks gaze with him and his eyes land on the drawing of Taekwoon. “What about you? What do you really want?”

Leo grabs Hongbin’s jaw between his fingers so he will look at him again. Him only and no one else. Hongbin lets Leo’s warm mouth envelope him, swallowing him whole. He’s willing to share the heat. His hands wrinkle his shirt by running up and down Hongbin’s side, trying to hold something tangible. A draft of wind hits the slit of Hongbin’s as his shirt rides up to reveal half of his back.

“I want you,” Leo says.

Hongbin chuckles. “Yeah, I got that. What else do you want?”

Leo’s hands sneak upon his abs like tomb thieves creeping into the forbidden dark. Hongbin’s heart beats faster. “Stop talking,” says Leo. “You just want my body. That’s all you draw all day.” He lifts Hongbin onto the couch. He yelps from his hidden strength as Leo pins him under by his hip. His shirt comes through his pale torso and over his head in a split second. He leans towards him to recapture his lips. Hongbin grunts but he stops breathing. Leo grabs Hongbin’s wrist and stretches his arms above the crown of his head. “Try to touch me back. I’m real. I’m better than your drawings.” Leo’s plump lips are moist next to Hongbin’s burning ear. “You can’t paper, can you?”

“I don’t just want . I want you.”

As if his words break the spell. Leo sits upright. “But you don’t know me.”

“What couples start off knowing each other? What’s the fun in that?”

“You’re different from other people. I’m not the person in your drawings. He’s someone so perfect that I can never be. It doesn’t matter how much you wish it.”

“I don’t wish it. I believe in you.” Hongbin’s eyes are unwavering.

Leo says nothing.

“You encouraged me through hard times. I will do the same for you. It doesn’t matter if you were real or not.”

Taekwoon, can you hear me? All you need to do is to be good to me.

Leo swoops back in and kisses Hongbin deeply.

Broadcast Station

Leo watches Minah walking out of the conference room. He suppresses a smile. His hands clutch onto the brown bag and the latte. The last time he bought these for her was when she was accepted to the same department as he. And the last time he treated her to grilled beef was last month, after she finished her long special segment on air. Everything was fine and burst with rainbows. And Leo felt content. Afterall, he had been the one who had inspired her to go to journalism school.

He waits for her to approach her desk and walks straight to him. He mirrors her frowns.

“You were crying?” Leo quirks his brows.

“Shut up, sunbae.” She slams the files on his chest. She hunches over in her seats. Anyone can detect the dark despair enveloping around her. The coffee and cookies are neglected. “I envy you, sunbae. You always know what you are doing with your life. You even fought against your parents to go after your dream job.”

“I’ve been doing midnight broadcast for the past three years. That’s trouble.”

“But you aren’t being suspended.” Minah takes a sip of the sweet drink.

“How long?” Leo will push down the joy or whatever nasty expression that threatens to break out of him.

“Two weeks.”

Leo grips onto the desk. “Enough for a vacation.”

“Not long enough to punish. They still want to keep me around.” Minah glances at him. She holds the universe of questions in that long stare. Those eyes ask him if he’s satisfied. If he’s happy yet.

A small dent of a smile dances on Leo’s facade. “Good for you. Bring me a souvenir.” Leo is about to walk away briskly, keeping his head held high and his poker face together.

“Sunbae.”

Leo stalls. She hands the cookie back. “I don’t feel like eating. You can have it.”

He takes it back---a part has been bitten off.  “You’ll be fine,” he says.

Leo strolls to the hallway. He throws the sweet snack down the trash bin, disgusted by her leftover cookie.

Hospital

“Why does the angel bleed?” asks Seongi.

Hongbin should have snatched that drawing of the angel dying under the hundred piercing spears from Seongi’s hands. Red is everywhere---on the weapons, on the shining gold garment, on the snow-white feathers. Her arms are stretched out against the black night, leaping off to the starless night. Her face is distraught, devoid of the peace that heavenly creature suppose to possess.

She looks like Minah.

When she came to him, she bled internally. He could see through her flushed face.

“Backstabbing is a crime, Seongi,” Hongbin tells her.

Have you wondered why my name is Minah? Not Seonah or Seonri?

“Minah isn’t really your sister, Seongi.”

The little girl puffs out her cheeks. “You’re not funny. Minah loves me and I love her. We are real sisters.”

You love them and they love you. You guys are real family. No matter what they say.

I’m not ashamed that I was adopted, said Minah indignantly. I just had to work harder than everyone else.

I understand how Leo sunbae feels. I don’t care for the competition at all. Anyone who has merit will get to that place eventually. I pity him.

Hongbin tsked. Leo won’t like it if he heard the word “pity”.

Minah shrugged. I’m going for a vacation, Hongbin. For a while, I don’t have to say no to those greedy people.

Rejecting people is the hardest thing to do, Hongbin. I couldn’t reject my family even if I tried. We love each other so much. How dare they take our love aa a joke?

Love is never a joke, Minah.

My Midnight Angel, don’t weep. I will avenge you.

A/N:

The story has taken a slight turn since a few chapters before, how are you guys while following it? What do you think Hongbin will do next now that he is getting a fuller picture of the real Leo?

What do you think of the bet b/w Ravi and N? Is it really wise to gamble with RavixKen's future?

Let me know in the comment down below. Kudos and subscriptions are much appreciated.

Happy summer!

-suzyelf