"Stay Here stay with me/ without any purposes/ Stay Here stay with me/ like falling into the deepest sea." - Xue Zhi Qian ("Stay Here")
 

Bedroom

He is supposed to arouse some sort of animal instinct within her. The smooth curve of her neck guides his hand that offers pressuring touch digging into her skin. She is unresponsive to his cold fingertips and his warm chest pinned underneath her, though she tries nibbling on his lips---she only tastes synthetic pin cushion. The bed sinks under the force of her. She pushes her tongue into his cavern as if this is the best solution, this is the way of life. She is convinced.

He responds passionately. His soft hands that are like innocent newborn’s tap on her bony back. He believes wholeheartedly that this is the life that he deserves to have. He latches his teeth onto her collarbone, marking his presence in this room with her, solidifying his good life. He should be with a woman. His own animal instinct is unleashed.

She, too, as if affected by his determination, starts believing him. Tentatively, she releases a low moan that encourages him to explore the unknown land.

In the end, she is a piece of land that he can cultivate and profit upon. Or a moving body that reminds him of his lover. “You don’t want to end up like him.”---his lover who lost everything because they know about them. Knowing is powerful. Knowing is destructive. He rather not know anything.

Holding a firm grip, he pushes her away.

She holds onto him so she will not fall into herself. Her eyes are accusing: Just when I give everything to you, you betray me.

He is a traitor to his lover, not her. She knows it too. They both pretend that they do not know. Ignorance is winning their game.

“I don’t love you.” She confesses quietly that night in utter darkness.

He bolts straight up. His eyes wide with panic. Apparently, she knows more about their game than he.

“But I have to be with you.”

They part their bodies. There is no point to continue this stupid game if their lies---the only thing that bind them together---are unravelled.

Hangang River

The night’s wind picks up at Hangang River and blows towards Leo. His dark eyes’ only lights are reflection of the buildings across the water. He stands by the railing and gazes at nothing. The cold, on the other hand, does nothing to freeze Leo’s features. His heart is already frozen at negative thirty degree celsius. The sewer smell of the river is like Sojin’s tears. He feels dirty to have her cry over their misfortunes. Leo cried too when they said their goodbye. It was a shame. They told each other. An universe wedged between them, yet, they felt closer to each other than ever before. Sojin told him for the first time: “Dad worried about me as I got older. I should have kids now at my age. My dad is all I have.  If that woman didn’t leave him…” That “woman” was her mother. “I thought I was ready for marriage, but I don’t think I can live with another person for the rest of my life.” Leo did not know that she could cry so much.

“I thought I can marry a woman too,” said Leo. He despised the pity in Sojin’s look. That contemptuous look also questioned if Leo could commit to anyone in general. They wished each other good luck half-heartedly. Either of them believed in it.

At least Sojin won’t marry anyone like Leo, he still has a chance to score that broadcaster position. Leo stretches his mouth wide open and screams; no sounds comes out of his most desperate depth. He pulls out his phone to look for someone he can talk to without strangers turning heads at him because he howls at a river. He scrolls past names like Hakyeon, Ken, and Hyuk. They will wag their fingers at him. They are the good people who will tell him that he deserves his downfall. They will never empathize with him for what he does to have the things he desires. They never understand how far he pulled through. He fought against everything for his dream too like they did. No way he will turn back to that sheltered Taekwoon. He pauses at the name “Hongbin”. Hurriedly, he shoots him a text. He waits for the person who never knew him.

“Taekwoon.” Leo whips his head at his old forgotten name. Leo gave up the name Taekwoon because it was not trendy for the workforce. Hongbin smiles at him as if he likes the sound of it. Leo stops himself from correcting him.

Instead, he pulls Hongbin into a warm hug. His chin fits snuggly on his shoulder. His nose is right above his coconut scent. Hongbin places his hands at his hips lightly. Leo’s hug is impeccable, doing Hongbin’s part too. “I’m so glad you don’t know me.” He breathes out the words down his neck.

“But I want to know you.”

Leo releases him. He holds his shoulders at an arm-length to scrutinize his intent gaze that hopes for something. Leo laughs a little. “You don’t want to know what a bastard I am.” The glint of faith disappears from Hongbin. Leo is almost sorry to see it go.

Hongbin squares his shoulders. “You’re not me.” He sounds firm like an oak rooting in the ground. “You can’t decide if I want to know you or not. I’m sick of people telling me what I can do.”

Leo leans on the railing for support. Hints of smile and frown mix together on his face. “I wish people will tell me what to do.”

“You should get to know me.” His full lips curve.

Leo smiles back. “What’s in it for me?”

“An exciting place you’ve never been.” Hongbin’s sparkly eyes beckon him nearer. “You haven’t met too many unimportant people like I. That’s something new.”

Leo’s laugh is light like snow and rewarding. “Alright, but I get to decide if I want to know you or not.”

Hongbin pulls himself into his magnetic field. “And I get to make you.”

Cafe

Visiting the Twosome Cafe became a habit of Ken. It is right by Jellyfish and it is N’s favourite coffee place. He orders the cheapest plain black coffee. If the budget is not tight unlike before, Ken would have ordered the most expensive one with the company’s money. Ken sits back in his corner, eyes are on the glass window the whole time to watch people and cars litter the streets and roads. A tall figure in white turtleneck approaches the cafe piques Ken’s interest. Ken continues staring at the man until an invisible will attract the man to look his way. When the magnetic pull fails, Ken calls out: “Leo hyung.”

Leo swivels around to the nasal voice. His expression melts into a smile as he approaches the other man sitting. He slides into the seat across from him. “Hey. Are you with someone? Where’s Hyukkie?”

Ken turns up his nose. “I don’t go everywhere with him, ‘kay? Are you waiting for anyone?”

“Yeah. But we got some times to kill. He always so wrapped up with his work. He won’t show up ‘till later.”

“Oh. Who’s the lucky guy? What does he do?”

“He’s an artist.”

Ken’s smile falters. That son of a went ahead and dates him behind my back anyway. “What’s his name? Maybe I know him.”

“Lee Hongbin. He had exhibitions sometimes. Maybe you heard of him.”

“He’s my best friend.” He sips on his coffee and burns his tongue. Keep cool, Ken. He offers him his tensed smile.

Leo his eyebrow. “You have other best friends? I thought me and Hyukkie are your only best friends.”

“Chill. We didn’t or anything. He’s my childhood best friends. We’re like, bros.” Ken frowns when he sees Leo visibly relaxes. “Do you like him that much?”

Leo blinks. “No.”

“I swear to God Jung Taekwoon, if Hongbin cries because of you-”

Leo chuckles. “You should calm down. I’m just being cautious. We haven’t dated for that long. It’s hard to tell.” He leans over and takes Ken’s cup for a sip.

You have no idea. Ken wants so badly to tell him that Hongbin doesn’t feel the same way. “One word of advise: stay away from Hongbin. He’s crazy.”

Leo puts down his cup. “What do you mean?”

Ken slouches forward. “He broke up with this guy once and got so depressed after. He smuggled an illegal gun and hid it under his bed. He was waiting to either kill himself or that bastard. He’s not someone you can mess with.”

Leo stares back at him blankly. No words come out of him right way. “Are you serious?”

Ken nods solemnly. “It looks like he’s a fling anyway. You’re not having a serious relationship with him anyway, so run off right while you still can. Find some rich lady to settle with and live a comfortable life.”

Leo stiffens. “I’m not as shallow as you think I am.”

Ken snorts with laughter. “I’m sorry, what? If you aren’t, then I don’t know who is.”

“I like being shallow. I have a good job right now because of it.” Leo sneers. His stance as if telling Ken that he could have been like him, but Ken was not focus enough. He was not cruel enough. He did not know what he wanted.

“Congratulation. Stay away from Hongbin. He is not useful to you.”

Leo slides in closer, staring down at the younger man. “Are you trying to keep me away from him, or keep him away from me?”

Before Ken can reply with some bull, he looks up past Leo’s shoulders. Leo turns around when he feels a hand on his shoulder. Leo greets Hongbin with an arm around his waist. Hongbin smiles his closed-lips smile at his boyfriend before giving Ken his glare. “What are you doing here?” he asks.

“I’m having my coffee and a chat with your new boyfriend.”

Hongbin takes a seat next to Leo. “What did you guys talk about?”

“You.”

Hongbin’s smile drops. “Hey, Leo. Can you order us coffee and cheesecakes?”

Leo flicks his eyes over at Ken and to Hongbin before moving towards the counter.

“What did you tell him?” asks Hongbin.

“Chill. I left out the part where you are obsessed with him ever since high school.” Ken smirks as Hongbin still has his guard up. “But I told him the part where you broke up with Ravi and went crazy.” Ken flinches as soon as Hongbin grabs a the coffee cup without flinging the warm liquid at him.

“What are you trying to do?” Hongbin’s voice cracks. “I thought we are friends.”

Ken’s face feels tighter together. “Sorry. I just want to keep you safe.” He pulls his hand in his, caressing it like a newborn kitten. “You scared me to death after that break-up with Ravi. You were a wreck. I thought nothing could fix you again. You even quit art school… I feel like you’re going down that path again.”

Hongbin returns no pressure to his touch; he does not pull away either. “I learned my lesson. I see what important to me now. I have my artworks, you and my other friends, and my family. I’m not going to throw you guys all away for a guy after being through all that. I’ve changed.” He squeezes his hand.

Ken covers their hands with the other one. “Just be rational when you’re around him. You can be so blind sometimes.” He ruffles his trimmed bang.

Hongbin nods. Finally, a real dimpled smile blooms on his face. “And I’m sorry for saying all these things to you about your dad and Ravi. I stooped too low trying to win an argument. You take your time trying to clean up your mess. I’ll be there for you.” Hongbin beams.

Ken pats his hand. “You were right. I am running away from my own problems and sticking my nose in others’ businesses. It’s time for me to live my life. I’m going back to Daejeon.”

Hongbin’s eyes widen. “But you never went back there. You hate where we grew up.”

“Ravi and N are shooting the movie there. I want to go back with him.”

Hongbin squeezes his hand. “Wow. You never went back with me but you’re going with him? You’re an .”

Ken grins. Hongbin laughs too. “Ah, man. You’re being serious about him. I hope he loves you back.”

Before Ken can reply, Leo slams down the tray on the table. Ken and Hongbin quickly untangle their laced fingers. He places a tall cup in front of Hongbin. “That’s your matcha iced latte.”  He reclaims his rightful place next to Hongbin’s once more. He squeezes Hongbin’s thigh under the table while glaring at Ken. Ken and Hongbin meet each other’s eyes and smiles. They try to contain their laugh but fail. Leo pierces a piece of cheesecake to feed it to Hongbin to stop him from laughing. “Eat up. Let’s go to the beach before the tide comes.”

“Yeah. Binnie. We don’t want your jealous boyfriend to wait for you.” Ken winks.

Hongbin bursts out laughing. “Isn’t the jealous Leo the cutest thing ever?” He touches his chin and turns his flushing face to him.

“Awe. Leo hyung is the cutest when he’s mad,” says Ken, cooing.

Leo swipes the sharp fork at the both of them and swears to kill them all if they don’t shut up and eat all of the food he paid for.

Track

Rows of bleachers stack against atop of one another makes Leo experience a vertigo.

“Come on,” says Hongbin. Again, those harmless dimples are irresistible; Leo can’t say no to his senseless request.

Clank. Clank. Clank. Hongbin holds on to his hand as they storm down the metal bleachers.

Their breaths are huffing by the time they reach the track and field.

“Why are we here?” asks Leo.

“Do you remember this place?” Hongbin stops in the middle of the track number one.

"My elementary school.”

“And?”

Leo shakes his hand.

Hongbin frowns, clearly not too pleased with his answer. “You were in this line. You were a tiny kid from class 5-A.” He bends over, his slightly off the ground, his hands touch his toe. “When the teacher blew on his whistle. You stood up like this.” He hangs his high in the air. “And ran off.” He starts running around the track. “You ran so fast like this,” he says loudly to the wind. Hongbin huffs. His arms flailing around, trying to sprint as fast as he can like riding on a bullet train. His coat flapping by him like wings. “You ran so hardcore that you passed that fat kid by a millisecond and woo hoo. You won the gold medal.” Hongbin collapses at the end of the track.

Leo rushes to his side and flips him over. A sheen of sweat covers his face. He still has his dumb, carefree smile.

“I remember now: I was that fat kid. I came in second,” says Leo.

Hongbin’s smile freezes. He gets up fast. “You were chubby, not fat.”

“Uh. Huh. That’s not what everyone thought, apparently.”

Hongbin gets up on his feet. “You can teach me how to run.”

Leo stands straight too. “Running is easy. First, think of something that scares you the most.” He pauses. “Got it?”

Hongbin nods.

Leo bolts onto the nearest track. He sprints off and never looks back. The air around him squeezes whatever he has in his lungs. His legs are on fire after years of disuse. The mobius is cranked to life by a handle drawing towards the gravity. Leo lied to Hongbin. You shouldn't think of what scares you the most when you run; you need to think of what you want at the end in the finish line. The shape of it. The smell of it. The texture of it. As vivid as you can. Fear is for losers. “I win.” Leo passes the imaginary ribbon. He pivots on his heel. Hongbin is kneeling on the tracks. He gasps like a puppy suffering summer heat. Leo stalks back to him and squats in front of him. “Are you-”

Hongbin pushes him towards the ground before taking off again, but he doesn’t get away too far; Leo yanks him backward. Hongbin stumbles and falls on his . Leo shoves him back onto the heating asphalt track. “You cheater.” He’s aware of how close they are, though it doesn’t seem to intimidate Hongbin one bit.

Hongbin is fast and swift without warning. His lips presses in Leo’s deep and slow; he makes sure every fibres of Leo feels his softness; he makes lingering contact that pushes Leo to the cliff by inches. Leo is charged with adrenaline with the anticipation of falling; he makes Leo shivering, defenseless. In a blind haze, Leo holds off Hongbin’s creeping hand under his shirt. “Not here in the open.”

“You’re going to run now?” His tone has an edge, signaling a challenge.

Fear is for losers. Leo flips him over without a hesitation. His mouth comes down quicker, more merciless. He devours every of Hongbin’s moans, every bit of Hongbin’s desire for Leo as he grinds into him. He doesn’t stop Hongbin’s hand from threading past his pants. They don’t stop until Leo gets what he wants at the finish line.

H-Mart

Hyuk drops two rolls of socks into the shopping cart. He looks at the shelves of colourful socks loom immediately over him amidst the cornucopia of daily necessities and regrets his decision already. He throws two more rolls in his cart.

Ken comes over carrying a huge box of cereal. “That's a lot of socks for me. I'm only going for a week.”

“Who said you’re the only one going?” Hyuk pushes the cart. “Lucky Charms? How old are you?”

Ken pouts. “Five,” he says in a baby voice.

Hyuk tuts at him, but he doesn't throw the cereal box away.

“Are you buying those socks for Ravi too?”

Hyuk snorts. “No. I'm buying those for myself.”

Ken rubs shoulders with him. “Cute. You want to match with your hyung.”

Hyuk brushes him off, muttering “you are gross.” He picks two travel-size red toothbrushes off his left.

Ken leans his elbows on the top of the cart. “Are you going somewhere too?”

“Yup. I'm going to Daejeon.”

Ken stops dead in his track in the middle of the aisle selling hygiene products. “With us?”

“I’m with N’s team. You do know that they are going to shoot some parts of the movie, right? You’re a terrible paparazzi.”

Ken jumps on him and has him in a headlock. The metal cart rattles beneath their weights. “I’m sacrificing myself to Ravi so I can stalk N.”

Hyuk squirms away. “Oh. Please. You would have gone with him anyway without N. Tsk. Tsk. You’re too clingy. N is not going to steal Ravi. I trust him.”

“Oh. You’re such a smitten fanboy. Too bad you’re just a little brother to him.

Hyuk shouts after him, clearly is offended. Ken takes over the cart and speeds down the aisle, scaring the ajumma being in the way.

Hyuk chases after him. That hyung’s denial is bigger than the Nile River. Why doesn’t he admit that Ravi is the love of his life? Hyuk catches up with him at the checkout line. He rests his chin on Ken’s shoulder. He peers down at the things that he and Ken picked out: a pink and a blue towel, green tea bags for Ken’s recurring headache, matching panda neck cushions, bags of tissues, and a bunch of their favourite snacks. Bet Ravi didn’t think of buying all these things. Hyuk smirks to himself. “N probably gets breaks from the filming. Where should we all go? I want to go to the beach.”

“We can go to the museums. You like art.” Ken puts the groceries on the conveyor belt. He jerks his shoulder. He can’t shake Hyuk off, because he’s glued there.

"Boring,” he says, dragging out his vowels.

“Then don’t come.” Ken pays the cashier before shoving the items into the plastic bags.

Hyuk helps too. “You don’t want me to go?”

Ken grabs two full bags and walks out of the store. Hyuk follows on his heels.

Ken shrugs. “You’re doing your job. Who am I to stop you?”

“I volunteered to go, because of you. I won’t go if you don’t want me to”

Ken slows down. He looks back at him. “You aren’t going for the love of your life, N?”

Hyuk shakes his head. He steps up to his Ken hyung and puts both of his hands on his. “You’re not in your right mind ever since Scandal News is a disaster. I want to help you.”

“Hyukkie, you’re not in Scandal News anymore. You don’t have to snitch on anyone.”

“But we’re still friends. I am sure this is what I want to do now that you guys are back together.” He untangles Ken’s clutch on the plastic bags. He lifts the burden from his hands.

Ken stands empty-handed for a moment. He jogs after Hyuk who is getting away. He takes back the bags from him. “Thanks, Hyukkie. I respect your choice, but I can carry these.” He grins.

Hyuk starts protesting, telling him that he can’t. Even if he can, Hyuk wants to do something for him. “Hyung.”

“What?”

“Don’t you feel the heavy weight in your hands?”

Ken bends his elbows, levering the bags. “Not really.”

Hyuk sighs. “I feel so heavy just looking at you.”

“Fine. Alright.” He lifts up two bags. “Take these if it makes you feel better.”

“It’s not me. I want you to feel better. Are you happy with Ravi hyung?”

Instead of replying to Hyuk’s question, Ken says, “I promise I’ll come to you first when I get hurt. Deal?”

How about you don’t get hurt? Ever. “Deal. Promise me you’ll let me beat him up. I didn’t take taekwondo for nothing.”

Ken laughs. “Alright, kid.”

He skips away lightly like air. Hyuk is weighty like the crystal ball holding an entire future.

A/N:  How do you like Hongbin's "creeping"? What do you think he or Leo is up to? o.O

And do you see a future for Ravi and Ken? 

Plus, don't worry, there will be more Ravi, N, and Ken in the next chapters. I don't want to switch back and forth between the storylines, which might allow you and I to lose track of what's happening in each one.

Thank you for all these comments! I love reading them so much and I'll respond to them ASAP. If you like the story, please sub and upvote. I appreciate all kind of feedbacks. :)

Your dreamer,

suzyelf

P.S: Shangri-La is so asethetically awesome!! <3 My fav in the MV are N, Hongbin, and Hyuk. WBU?