rags to riches but i'm addicted to being broken

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To be honest, without Hoseok at his side all this time, he wouldn't have become who he was now. He wouldn't have gotten this far, never. It was all thanks to Hoseok that Namjoon was actually a living person, because in Namjoon's opinion Hoseok was who made him human. Maybe he physically was from the beginning, but he had never had felt like one until Hoseok had entered his life. Eventually before he had had his friends, he had had his music, but he had been working like a machine, acting like one. Hoseok had been the one who showed him love and the one who had given him some kind of a future to hold onto, a perspective. Namjoon's everything was thanks to Hoseok. And sometimes he thought about the fact that he had only been born because of Hoseok, being in fact a part of Hoseok's being. That may sound crazy, but it was just his reality. He couldn't live without Hoseok and without him he just felt like dying, falling apart and vanishing into the thin air.

He knew, as the individual he was, that he had to get better again in order to keep on working and being who he was supposed to be. After all Hoseok had made him what he's now and he never wanted to destroy that. Hoseok had been working hard on all this, even unintentionally, but still, Namjoon promised himself to not destroy himself, to not destroy what Hoseok had built. Neither would he ever allow himself to destroy all his work and accomplishments, well Hoseok's, nor would he allow himself to destroy what was left of him after Hoseok