i don't keep love around

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He didn’t really understand how it had even gotten that far. He really didn’t, but currently Hoseok was sitting on his couch, typing on his phone. Namjoon was standing next to the door that lead into his bedroom, leaning against the wall, watching Hoseok, well, more like staring at him. Hoseok hadn’t changed at all, he was still the same. His attitude was the same, he still was the nice and kind guy that brightened everyone else’s life. The smile he had gifted Namjoon ever since he had arrived in front of his apartment were still brighter than the sun, and Namjoon could just feel the way his body was gaining back energy just by looking at him. They had been talking about different thing for some time, and Namjoon had no idea how he managed to actually do that. Not that he wasn’t able to talk when Hoseok was there, but it indeed was heart since he normally would stop thinking straight, forgetting about everything around him, forgetting to breathe and actually feel the way the pain in his head doubled. However, this time was different, it felt different. And it frightened Namjoon. He had no idea what to think about what was happening in front of him. Hoseok was clearly here because ‘friends spend time together’ not because he wanted to talk about them or anything similar, yet it still let loose a hurricane of emotions inside of him.

“Did either Yoongi or Jimin talk to you about their breakup?” Hoseok suddenly asked, starling Namjoon as he was once again getting lost in the memories of him and Hoseok. Namjoon slightly shook his head, forcing himself back to reality. He then walked around the couch, sitting down at the other end of it and looking at Hoseok, who had been following him with his eyes.

“No, I haven’t been told anything even though Yoongi had been staying in my apartment for some time.” Namjoon explained, still looking at Hoseok, who now studied his face. Obviously Hoseok was looking for something, but Namjoon was sure, whatever the other was looking for, he wasn’t supposed to show it to him.

“Jimin’s not doing fine though.” Hoseok stated, still studying him and Namjoon somehow got the feeling that Hoseok wasn’t really referring to Jimin anymore, more like using him as a metaphor. However, Namjoon decided to ignore it, because, who knows, it might just be one of his usual imaginations that nowadays made it to his mind so easily. But, Namjoon just had to do the same thing, he couldn’t keep himself from doing so. No matter if Hoseok was using Jimin’s situation as a metaphor or not, Namjoon would just do the same. No matter if Hoseok would get it, no matter if he would be hurt.

“And so is Yoongi, but what could he possibly do? Jimin was the one who left him, not the other way round.” Namjoon stated, shrugging his shoulders. He heard Hoseok sighing before he let out a quite chuckle. Namjoon’s gaze shot back to Hoseok’s face, watching the beautiful smile the other would show to nobody in particular, probably just smiling due to a thought he had.

“Don’t you think they should talk about it? I mean they were engaged.” Hoseok asked, leaning back against the backrest of the couch, gaze once again at Namjoon. Now it was Namjoon’s time to sigh. “Maybe Yoongi should just tell him that he still loves him. Jimin clearly would be happy about it.” Hoseok continued, smiling slightly. Namjoon shook his head at that. He knew what Yoongi was going through, what he felt like. It wasn’t like either Namjoon or Yoongi never thought about doing so, in fact they did all the time. However, getting left by someone you love hurt, deeply, and it also destroyed parts of oneself like confidence and a certain will to just do so. Being left also destroyed part of one’s dignity and just caused one to wallow in self-pity.

“If Jimin doesn’t see the love Yoongi holds for him then he’s blind, Hoseok. Yoongi loved, loves, Jimin more than anything in this world, because Jimin is basically his world. But, if Jimin really waits for Yoongi to come to him even though he had been the one hurting the other, then I must say it’s better they’re going separate ways now.” Namjoon stated, looking down onto his hands as something in his mind was clicking like he realized something by himself. “It spared them a whole lot of pain. Just imagine them breaking it off after they got married. It would have been much harder.” Namjoon continued as he was standing up from his place, walking over to the kitchen.

He noticed Hoseok was following him to the kitchen as he walked around the corner. He wasn’t able to look at the older for long due to the wall, but there was something in Hoseok’s eyes that worried Namjoon. He walked over to the refrigerator, opening it in order to get out two bottles of beer, opening both of them and handing one to Hoseok as the older walked into the kitchen after him. Hoseok took the beer and took a sip from it. Namjoon noticed Hoseok was thinking about his words, he just couldn’t decipher how the older was actually feeling about it. Namjoon took a sip from his beer as he was watching Hoseok.

“Don’t you want them to