The right thing to say to a woman about:

Dinner

Dangerous: “What’s for dinner?”

Safer: “Can I help you with dinner?”

Safest: “Where would you like to go for dinner?”

Her dress

Dangerous: “Are you wearing that?”

Safer: “You sure look good in brown!”

Safest: “Wow! Look at you!”

Her being emo

Dangerous: “What are you so worked up about?”

Safer: “Could we be over-reacting?”

Safest: “Here’s my paycheque.”

Her weight

Dangerous: “Should you be eating that?”

Safer: “You know, there are plenty of apples left.”

Safest: “Can I get you a piece of chocolate cake with that?”

Her doing nothing

Dangerous: “What did you do all day?”

Safer: “I hope you didn’t stress yourself out today.”

Safest: “I’ve always loved you in that robe!