It had been dark outside for quite a while already when he heard the key in the lock of the front door, unlocking it to allow the man to come in. From his room, he could hear that he was carrying something that must be heavy and kind of big from the rustling against the walls and furniture as the man lugged it inside, but also soft, judging from the soft thuds that reached his sharp ears when the man put whatever it was down on the floor, still in the hallway.

Curiosity spiked in him, and it took him a considerable amount of self-control not to sneak up to his door as quietly as he could manage and peek outside to find out what the man had brought home.

He was at a war with himself there though, since he couldn’t decide if it was better not to find out what it was, since there was definitely a possibility that it could scare the life out of him, even if he just misunderstood whatever it was, or if it would be better if he was forewarned in case it was something threatening.

He found himself wanting, begging whatever entity might be looking out for him for it to be something harmless that had nothing to do with him and that proved the man to not be a threat for him. He wanted the peace he’d been feeling that whole day while the man was gone to last forever, no matter how boring it was just sitting there with nothing to do. At least his body wasn’t hurting all over, and there was nothing to fear while he was gone.

But the man was home now, and apparently he was standing by his words from earlier before he’d left again, making dinner. It smelled delicious, and his stomach roared. He hadn’t dared sneak anything from the kitchen, and not dared touch his hidden sandwich and pack of chips, either. He might still need those later… who knew if the man was really making dinner for him, too, and not just for himself?

He sighed, resting his chin on his bent knees in front of him while focusing his senses on the activities of the man at the other end of the apartment. Eventually, the smell of food intensified, and he couldn’t exactly make out what kind of food it was. It smelled delicious, but not like anything he’d ever gotten to try.

His mouth watered, but then he could hear the man filling plates, and he held his breath in anticipation if there would be a plate for him, too. At least it sounded like the man was filling more than one, then there were liquids being poured, and then… footsteps.

He tensed a bit in his spot, registering with both anticipation and fear that they were nearing his door.

Sure enough, the knock sounded, and even though he didn’t answer, the door opened seconds later, revealing the man; and with him, a tray full of the delicious smelling food.

His heart sped up, eager to try the delicious food, but at the same time, more than one alarm bell rang in his head.

Why did the man keep doing this? Why did he bring him delicious food and was so nice to him?

 “Hi… I’m sorry it got so late… I hope you didn’t get too hungry in the meantime…”

His niceness, his apparent worry about whether or not he’d gotten hungry, his obvious care in how he’d put together his dinner tray that he was now swapping with the empty one from lunch… It didn’t add up. He couldn’t understand it, refused to trust it. There had to be something, somewhere, sometime that would make it all make sense. There was a catch in all of this, he was sure of it.

Apparently, the intensity in the gaze with which he was following the man’s every movement unsettled him, and he scratched his neck awkwardly for a moment, before addressing him again.

 “Uhm… I’ve just noticed earlier that I still don’t know your name, and I’ve been wondering ever since… What is your name?”

He tensed, averting his eyes from the man really quickly and focusing his gaze on the floor in front of him. That question again… The one that even if he wanted to, he couldn’t answer. And weirdly enough, he found himself even considering wanting to answer him! But he couldn’t. He tensed further, cowering in on himself as he expected some sort of reaction from the man that would signal the end of his patience with him for not answering his questions.

“Ah, well… Hey, there is no need to be scared, it’s ok if you don’t want to tell me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy dinner, and sorry again it got so late. If you need anything from me, I’ll be in the living room.”

The man smiled in his direction before leaving the room, but even only seeing him from the corner of his eyes he could tell the disappointment he felt over not getting an answer yet again. Somehow, that question seemed to matter more to him than the others he’d asked him so far.

He didn’t really understand why; for as long as he could remember, even when he’d still remembered his name and told it to the people around him, he could barely recall anyone ever calling him something other than numbers or just “the hybrid”, and that was during the good days before only insults had started being directed at him, or the nickname he loathed.

So why was the man making a big deal of it wanting to know his name? Couldn’t he just call him whatever everyone else had always called him? He would know sure enough that he was meant…

He shook  his head, clearing it of those thoughts for the moment as he listened out to make sure the man had returned to the kitchen, busying himself far enough away from him for him to eat in peace.

It was a good thing he had made sure of that before starting to eat, since the second he tried the food, the taste of it dominated every other sensation. It was without a doubt the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted, even more delicious than what the smell promised, and for a moment he was sure he wouldn’t survive eating something that tasted that good. Again, he took the time to savour the food as he ate it, despite the man being just a few rooms over, and didn’t just finish it out of fear of not getting another meal for an unpredictable timespan, but mainly because it tasted so good he just didn’t want to stop eating even after he was already full.

A meal that nice definitely made the wait worth it, and when he returned to the spot in the corner where he’d left his blanket he almost felt like purring like the proverbial content cat. He didn’t though, reigning himself and his instincts in to keep from doing such a lowly act. He couldn’t afford the image of vulnerability that purring conveyed! It still didn’t change that he did feel quite content for the time being, until he could hear the man get up from the couch in the living room and his steps nearing the side of the apartment his room was situated in.

He held his breath, tensing again when the man did approach his door and knocked on it, letting himself in shortly after.

“Ah, you are done eating! Did you like it?”

The man asked the question as if not expecting an answer, but to his own surprise he found himself nodding lightly in answer. The man’s face visibly lit up with happiness as he saw his nod, and he averted his gaze, feeling a twinge of shame. How could such a small answer make someone’s face light up with so much happiness? And why did he still refuse to answer most of the time when his answers could have such an effect on the man?

He shuddered as the meaning of the thought hit him. He didn’t want to be some stupid pet who only lived to make his master happy! The word “master” resonating in his brain was enough to make him feel sick to his stomach, and he forced his thoughts away from the route they were taking, refusing to let them head further down that bitter path. Thankfully, the man helped him with that as he continued talking.

“I’m glad you liked it. I got some things out in the city today that I hope you’ll like, too. I went to the stores earlier to get you some clothes in your sizes. A friend of mine helped me pick them out, because to be honest, I don’t really have that much of an eye for fashion. He’s about your size, too, so he tried the clothes on to make sure they would fit you. Some might still be a bit big on you, especially the shirts and jumpers, since your shoulders are wider than his and we didn’t have a reference to know exactly what size you’d need. Anyway, let me just bring this to the kitchen and I’ll bring them over.”

The man all but rambled, his tone conversational even though he didn’t expect and didn’t get an answer from him. True to his words though, he picked up the empty tray and carried it out, leaving him behind to stare wide-eyed at the spot he’d just vacated.

The man had bought him clothes? Just for him? He even asked for his friend’s help to choose them and make sure they would fit him? Just him?

He couldn’t wrap his mind around the thought, even when the man returned, loaded with bags that must hold the clothes. The first thing that hit him was the smell wafting out of them when he put them down next to the door; they smelled new, the exact smell that always lingered in the stores he’d never dared to enter…

Those were new clothes, and they were meant for him? Not worn out hand-downs?

He continued to stare, wide-eyed, as the man opened the first bag and started taking out clothes.

“I haven’t removed the labels just yet in case you don’t like them or would rather have them in a different size or colour. You can try them on whenever you want to, there is no pressure since I made sure I can go and return or exchange them for you whenever you decide you want me to, as long as the label is still on. They are all yours, too, you can do with them whatever you want, and I promise I want nothing in return from you for them.”

The man explained as he took out a bunch of sweaters and T-shirts, and he could see even from afar that they should fit him as if they had been made solely for him. It was like a dream, and still the man kept pulling out more clothes from the bags.

“I’m going to sort them into the dresser for now. You can always sort them into the wardrobe if you want to later. There should be hangers in there, too, still, but if you need more I can give you more. Or if you need them while I’m not home, there is a box in the wardrobe in the spare room that has more hangers. Feel free to get yourself as many as you want to of those; I don’t even use them.”

He didn’t know if he actually nodded in understanding or just imagined he did as his focus was held transfixed by a really pretty long-sleeved black and white striped shirt that the man had just lifted out of one of the bags, shaken out and folded neatly to put on top of the pile he was forming in one of the dresser’s drawers.

But not only that shirt, all those clothes were so pretty! He couldn’t believe they were supposed to be his! Only his!

He wanted to run and look at them from closer up, wanted to feel how soft they were and smell their smell of new and clean! More than anything, he wanted to get rid of the stinking, scratchy, cold and threadbare clothes that the dirt was caking to his body and replace them with the new and beautiful ones.

But right now, first of all, the man was still there, still too close, and he wouldn’t risk taking off any clothes that were shielding his body even for the shortest time with him around. Then, he wasn’t sure if he could really believe him, if those clothes were really supposed to be his and his alone, if he could really wear them without any consequences. And lastly, he wouldn’t dare touch them because of how dirty he was. If he touched the clean and fragrant clothes like this, they would become as dirty and stinking as he was, and he couldn’t do that.

Eventually, when he was sure the dresser must barely close anymore with the amount of clothes the man had managed to put into it, he finally pulled out the last pair of pants and put it away, starting to fold up the empty bags neatly.

“That’s it for now. I hope you find some things you like in there, and if you want me to get something in a different colour or size or don’t want them at all, just let me know.” He finished folding up the bags and brought the pile outside, storing them away somewhere before returning to the room and almost stumbling over the duvet he had discarded right where he’d woken up from the fever.

He watched the man closely as he picked it up, shook it out and returned it neatly to the bed, not commenting at all on how dirty it had become because of him, or the fact he’d left it on the floor, or that it had been laying in the way and almost made him fall.

All of those actions he kept seeing from the man -or rather, missing actions that he didn’t get to see- confused him. Up until now, most of the things he’d done or not done could have warranted him some sort of punishment from pretty much everyone that had ever claimed to be in charge of him, yet with the man… nothing.

Granted, he’d only spent a few days with him, but that had never stopped the people he’d met before. They’d taken their task of “disciplining” him quite serious from the very first minutes he’d spent in their so called care. Unfortunately, he was quite learning resistant and kept repeating the same mistakes that kept pissing people off over and over again, no matter how often he was punished. Thus it was quite a surprise that he’d stayed unscathed for so long since arriving at the man’s apartment, and it was actually bordering on unsettling.

“Alright, it’s starting to get quite late and I’d like to go to sleep soon… Can I check your wound again before going?”

He lifted his hand to his neck slightly confused, having all but forgotten about the wound. He also realized in that moment that his tenseness had almost completely faded away despite having the man so close around him for so long, but it returned quickly at the prospect of the man coming close enough to actually touch him once again. He knew it was a necessity, though, and was glad that that nasty wound was being taken care of instead of being left to fester and heal on it’s own through days of fever and sickness.

He allowed the man to change the dressing once again, noticing there was barely any discomfort left as he cleaned the wound underneath and applied new ointment as well as a new dressing. Thanks to the faster healing properties inherent to hybrids, only two spots on the back of his neck still stung when the man touched them, but it was bearable and he didn’t show the signs of his discomfort.

The man left soon after finishing the dressing and cleaning up the remains of the previous one, but he couldn’t find any rest. He was suddenly alert after realizing he’d let his guard down even though the man had been in the same room with him!

He couldn’t explain it to himself how something like that could have happened. He didn’t trust easily, and definitely not that fast! Granted, the man had done nothing but help him ever since he arrived –well, since before that, even, since he had rescued him from the shelter- given him food, tended to his wounds, even bought him clothes, never raised his voice at him, never hurt him… But he’d only been there a handful of days! Things could change so fast! So, how could he trust already?!

He shook his head. It wasn’t trust. Maybe… maybe he’d just been lulled in by the man’s calm behavior, his soft voice, his unrushed movements, the gentleness with which he took care of his wounds, because… because they were indeed soothing. He must be craving the comfort and gentleness the man seemed to exude more than he thought, and that was why he was accepting it so readily even though his mind scolded him and called him an idiot for doing so.

He sighed, shuffling further into the corner he preferred to stay in and wrapped the blanket around himself. He needed to stop doing that, needed to consciously remind himself that he couldn’t trust anyone –and that included the man!- and keep his guard up at all times.

It was so tiring, though, exhausting even, to always keep his guard up, never really rest, never trust, always doubt and double-check… So tiring that he did fall asleep at some point, without even realizing it and definitely not keeping his guard up as he slept rather peacefully.

*#*#*#*

Taekwoon wasn’t in the best mood as he entered his office the next day. Hakyeon had called him just before he’d left home that his lunch break would be cut in half that day by a meeting that had to have been rescheduled since it was suddenly inconvenient to hold it at the end of the week as it had been planned, and  Taekwoon wasn’t prepared at all.  Also, the meeting meant he couldn’t go home during the lunch break to check on the hybrid, and that more than anything annoyed him to the point of glaring holes into the ground he walked on and not answering any of the Good mornings he heard on his way up to his office.

His mood lifted slightly when he managed to finish his preparations for the meeting earlier than expected, though, and on top of that word came back on a bunch of compositions he’d sent to another artist who happened to fall in love with his style and was full of compliments for his work.

Still, while he was going through the compositions he was still in the process of finishing up without being able to decide which one he should pick up on, he couldn’t really focus since his mind kept wandering back to the hybrid sat in his home. Not being able to find anything he could work on resulted in him finding himself pretty bored, and it led to him wondering if the hybrid wouldn’t be bored and lonely as well, sat in the apartment all day, possibly even only his room, without anything to do.

He chastised himself for only thinking about it now when he could do nothing against it and not earlier, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. Besides, he didn’t even know what the hybrid liked to do, what his favourite hobbies were, what he should get him or provide him with to keep him occupied.

Lunchtime ended up coming faster than he would have thought, and he decided to venture to the cafeteria and get himself something to eat. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to facing the crowd of his curious coworkers that had spent all of the day before discussing him and the hybrid he’d adopted, but on the other hand he decided they weren’t worth passing up on food, either.

Hakyeon was nowhere to be found after he’d finished putting together his lunch, and he found himself an empty table to sit on. It didn’t stay empty for long, and his first reaction was to glare at whoever had decided to sit too close to him, but his expression softened when he saw it was Sungjae.

“Hi, hyung. Do you mind if I sit here?”

Taekwoon shook his head, inviting the cat hybrid to sit down, and returned to his attention to his food. At least outwardly, as it really ventured back to a certain other cat hybrid. Thinking of the scared and cautious hybrid at home, his heart ached for him that he hadn’t found a family as nice as the one Sungjae had when the project that had birthed them shut down.

“Hyung…”

Taekwoon was pulled out of his thoughts by Sungjae’s voice.

“Hm?”

“Is it true that you adopted a cat hybrid?”

He should have expected that question, but while he hadn’t expected it, he would have expected to react differently when asked. He didn’t lose his temper with Sungjae, though, as the younger one seemed just as excited as curious, and he knew him not to be one out for gossip.

“It’s true.”

The younger one tilted his head and frowned slightly.

“I can’t smell any trace of hybrid on you, though.”

Taekwoon was used to the traits of Sungjae’s behavior that differed from his human co-workers and wasn’t put off by the fact that he’d been smelling him anymore. What surprised him was the little pang of pain in his heart at his words.

“He isn’t exactly… very up to cuddles and affection or even any kind of physical contact in general. I don’t know if he’s left his room further than to go to the bathroom, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he hasn’t touched anything beyond what’s in his room and the bathroom so far.”

Sungjae nodded pensively, a hint of sadness in his eyes as he focused on his own food.

Taekwoon watched him push his food around for a bit, remembering he’d meant to ask Sungjae a couple of things anyway.

“Sungjae, uhm…” He waited until the younger one looked up at him. “Can I ask you a couple of things? I mean, I hadn’t planned on adopting anyone, and now… I feel like I don’t know as much as I should when it comes to… to cat hybrids…” He blushed a little, averting his eyes minimally, but he still caught how Sungjae perked up, almost bouncing in his seat excitedly as he sat up and nodded his head.

“Of course! What do you want to know?”

Taekwoon scratched the back of his neck embarrassedly, but once he reminded himself he was doing this for the sake of the shy boy at home, he got a grip on himself.

“Well, the first thing I’ve been wondering… Is there anything cat hybrids can’t eat? I don’t want to accidentally give him anything that’ll hurt him…”

Sungjae cocked his head in an explicitly kittenish manner, his cat ears twitching as he thought for a moment.

“Ah… there isn’t too much… Our digestive system works basically like a human’s, so… Hmm… Well, we do need more protein, though, like meats and fish… I don’t know if it’s more of a personal preference, but everyone I’ve met so far has always liked their meat not too cooked, too. Oh, and… Your new friend might hate me for this later, but we can’t have too much sweets. Also not too much salt, and only little amounts of spices.”

Taekwoon listened closely to what Sungjae explained, trying to take mental note of everything as the younger elaborated beyond the subject of foods without him having to ask.

“Already giving him the kitten 101, I can see, huh?” A voice chuckled behind Taekwoon, and he twirled around in his seat to see Eunkwang standing behind him before rounding the table and sitting down next to Sungjae.

The younger shrugged, returning to his cooling food.

“He asked me first.”

“Well then, I’m sorry for interrupting. Taekwoon, I’m also sorry about that meeting. I hope I didn’t cause you too much trouble, I know you were only supposed to have the list ready by Friday, and if you don’t have it right now you can hand it in later. Also… I heard that you rescued that hybrid from very unfortunate conditions, which makes it especially unlucky that you can’t go home during lunch today. Again, I’m sorry. But… You can go home earlier if you want to.”

Taekwoon rose his eyebrows at his boss’ suggestion. Granted, he knew Eunkwang as more than just the company owner and his highest boss, but still. He didn’t usually get his orders from him personally, and especially not his work schedule. He was thankful nonetheless.

“Thank you… I do have the list ready, though, we can discuss it today. And… If it’s not too much trouble, I would gladly take that offer. It’s not that I want an easy way out of work! Not that! It’s just…”

Eunkwang shook his head, interrupting him.

“Taekwoon, listen. I don’t know all the details, but if even a hint of what has been cursing around in the rumor mill of this company is true, you should take the offer. Actually, you should spend more time at home during lunch, and go home earlier at the end of the day as well. You can easily do a big part of your work from home, you don’t need to sit around here. Both you and the hybrid will benefit from it in the end even if you just spend time together in the same place. I’ll talk to the staff supervisor and have them take you out of the clocking system until we work out something new. Until then, just come and go as you see fit and think you need it for both of your sakes. I know I can trust you to do the right thing.”

“Eunkwang, I… I don’t know what you heard but… I’m sure I’ll manage, I don’t want to cause trouble…”

“Taekwoon-ssi! Everyone says your hybrid is feral, is that true? Why would you adopt a monster?” Someone from the table behind Sungjae and Eunkwang shouted, interrupting their conversation, and everyone’s head in the cafeteria turned towards them, searching for Taekwoon with their gazes.

Taekwoon froze, and anger built up in him at the word ‘monster’. Not caring if everyone was watching him and indifferent to the fact the company’s owner was sitting right in front of him, he rose from his seat, squaring his shoulders as his voice rose louder than he’d ever risen it before while at work.

“He. Is. Not. Feral!”

He glared over the heads of his friends at the moron who’d shouted the question, but all his answer did was encourage more questions from more people that he didn’t want to answer, breaking loose a cacophony that made it impossible to distinguish even single words. It only came to an abrupt end when Eunkwang himself rose to his feet, and his employees recognized him.

“Friends, please. Let’s not invade our colleague’s privacy, shall we? Let’s trust him that he knows what he’s doing and mind our own business, alright?”

A light murmur rose again as everyone returned to their conversations and food, and Eunkwang sat back down. He frowned slightly, though, looking at Taekwoon.

“He really isn’t feral, though, right? And you do know what you are doing?”

It wasn’t Taekwoon who answered him, but Sungjae, who elbowed him not too gently in the ribs.

“Of course he isn’t. If he was feral, Taekwoon-hyung wouldn’t be here now. He would have killed Taekwoon at the first chance he got, not caring if he was tagged with some detention collar or something like that or not –which he would be if he was classified feral- and be dead himself by now.”

Taekwoon shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“They did classify him as feral at the shelter and wanted to… to kill him. And he is wearing a collar now that I can’t take off…”

Sungjae shook his head and dismissed Taekwoon’s words with a wave of his hand as he finished chewing and swallowed.

“It doesn’t change anything. If he was feral, you’d both be dead now. The fact that you are still alive proves that he isn’t feral. The shelters and such just like to classify us as feral to have an excuse to kill us off, but if they had someone at their hands who really was feral, then trust me, that would make the breaking news. A feral hybrid doesn’t go out without taking at least a dozen people with them. When a hybrid goes feral, they don’t care if they get hurt, they don’t feel bullet wounds or electric shocks anymore, they just kill everything that comes within reach. They are incapable of rational thought and feelings, the only thing they feel is bloodlust and rage.”

Taekwoon’s eyes had gone wide at Sungjae’s explanation, and so had Eunkwang’s. No, that did definitely not apply to his hybrid!

“The knowledge you’ve been acquiring really astounds me sometimes, Sung-ie.”

Sungjae only shrugged once more.

“I do what I can to stay informed. I know I got lucky to end up with you, but I hope that I can end up using my privileged position to help others who aren’t that lucky in the future.”

He missed the proud look Eunkwang gave him as he continued focusing on his food while trying to hide how his hyung’s praise affected him.

“Alright. Taekwoon, are you done eating? We should start going up and hopefully get this bloody meeting over with as soon as possible.

Taekwoon nodded, starting to gather his things, but Sungjae stopped him before he could follow Eunkwang.

“Hyung… I just wanted to say, I’m glad you didn’t believe them at the shelter when they said he was feral. I… I don’t know him, but thank you for saving him. If I can ever help you, with anything, just ask, ok?”

Taekwoon smiled at the younger.

“Thank you, Sungjae. You already helped a lot today, but I’ll definitely come to you if I have more questions.”

The young cat hybrid looked happy with his answer, and as Taekwoon hurried to follow Eunkwang to the meeting room, he found he was really glad he was friends with people like Sungjae -and Eunkwang, too- who understood him and knew a lot more about hybrids than he did, and who he could turn to if he needed help.

*#*#*#*

From his spot on the floor, he could see the weak autumn sun rise on the grey sky, behind a layer of clouds. He couldn’t tell the time, but he could tell it was passing slowly, incredibly slowly. He’d tried to go back to sleep after the man had left for work, but he wasn’t tired enough. Other than that, he had no idea what he could do. He simply didn’t dare touch any of the things in the apartment, in fear of breaking or dirtying them, and he had nothing of his own to pass the time with. So he just sat there, looking out of the window, and waiting.

Lunch time came and went, and like the man had told him that morning, in a rush before leaving, he didn’t come back. He ate what the man had left him for lunch (which he had hidden, just in case, but brought back out when lunch time came and he got hungry), and went back to waiting for anything to happen, really, no matter what it was.

Time seemed to pass even slower now that lunch had passed, and his boredom increased. The only let up in his boredom were trips to the bathroom, but he kept those as few as possible, too, to minimize the chance of breaking anything.

At some point, he started to question his boredom. He had never felt bored before. Even when he’d had nothing to do, even when he’d just sat in a cage in the shelter, he hadn’t been bored. He’d been anxious, and time had stretched endlessly then, too, but he hadn’t been bored. He had wanted the time to pass slowly, loving every second that passed where nothing happened to him.

But here… He was bored. He wanted the time to pass faster, and, he realized with a start, he wanted the man to come back!

It didn’t make sense, the man could hurt him at any given time, too, and he should be glad he was gone for so long!

But the truth was: he wasn’t glad.

He couldn’t make sense of what he felt, only that it was there, and that he must have gone stupid to feel that way.

Then again, maybe it did make sense. While the man wasn’t here, he could be out plotting his future with who-knew-whom without him knowing. If he was here, he had at least a chance to somehow find out what he was planning for him, maybe through some hints the man dropped, something he brought home, something he said without thinking…

For the man to say something he hadn’t been planning to, he needed to keep him talking, though, and the man didn’t talk that much, either. But if he actually answered his questions for once, or even asked some himself… The man might talk more, and reveal his true intentions somehow. All he had to do was talk to him…

Despite his intentions, when the man came home and eventually knocked on his door, the words to invite him in that he’d originally planned on saying didn’t come past his lips. It didn’t matter, since the man let himself in after a moment, like he always did, but it annoyed him that he’d failed to answer him already.

“Hi! I’m home early today… I’ll start making dinner soon, but I wanted to make sure you are alright first after leaving you here alone all day. Are you ok?”

He wanted to answer him, he really did, but all he managed was a nod of his head, no words.

“Ah, I’m glad. I just… I realized earlier that I didn’t see to making sure that you had something to pass your time with… Uhm, what did you do all day? I hope you didn’t spend it all closed up in this room…”

This was it, he had to answer that question, even if he didn’t answer any other! Maybe not with the entire truth, but…

Damn it, the man was already preparing to talk again! He had to be quick!

“Sleep…” He managed to answer, startling the man into silence even though the first syllable of whatever he’d been about to say had already been past his lips. “And… wait.”

The man stared at him, stunned. He hadn’t really been expecting an answer, but he seemed to be radiating happiness now that he’d gotten a verbal answer from him. He visibly fought with his emotions when he took in the meaning of his words, though.

“Oh… Only that? I mean, that’s obviously ok, you can sleep as much as you want, but… You must’ve been bored… There’s no need-… Feel free to read any of the books that you can find. Or watch some TV, or a movie. You can also use the tablet or the console, there are plenty of games on both. Or listen to music. There is a piano in the office; if you want to play, feel free to do that, too…”

That wasn’t what he’d expected to come out of him answering the man’s question, and besides being wary of his offer and knowing he wouldn’t take it, it made him a bit sad that even if he wanted to, he couldn’t. He couldn’t read, and without knowing how to read, how was he supposed to manage any of those things? His heart was heavy, but he didn’t show it as he nodded his head once in understanding.

The man seemed happy with the gesture and soon left the room to cook them dinner, and he laid back on the floor again, keeping an ear out to pick up on the noises the man made on the other side of the apartment to hear when he would come back.

Their short conversation of sorts had been remarkably fruitless, and he chastised himself for not being able to say more, to keep the man talking. He had to stop living in his brain, only thinking, and finally start talking, saying what he thought!

It was easier thought than done, though, since it was too ingrained in him that when he said something it was likely he got punished for it, or no one listened anyway. It was new to him that someone actually asked questions and was happy about it when he answered them.

But how could he answer questions when he had no time to think about his answer first? Maybe it would be easier to talk when he was the one who chose the topic… It was a daring move, and he couldn’t tell if the man would welcome him bringing up conversation topics, but he wouldn’t know if he didn’t try.

The first topic that came to his mind that they could talk about were the clothes the man had brought in the day before. He hadn’t touched them, hadn’t even opened the drawers to look at them again since the man had put them away, but… He should thank the man for them. He might not trust the situation yet, was still wary that it would backfire somehow at him if he started actually wearing the clothes, but… If he thanked the man, he might also find out more about whether it was safe to wear them or not from his reaction or answer, and should it really be safe, should they really be just for him without any intentions behind it, thanking the man was the least he could do.

His resolve was set, but when the man returned to bring him his dinner, his throat closed up and he found himself unable to utter the words he’d thought over and over in the time he’d waited. Nervously, he pulled on the hem of his threadbare shirt, worrying the already frayed edges and stretching the worn material further than what it could stand, until a sickening tearing voice had him freeze.

His eyes widened as he realized his already battered shirt must just have gotten another hole in it, and judging by the noise, it wasn’t a small one. To make matters worse, the man had heard the noise, too, and was focusing his attention on him now while he cowered in on himself, regretting every decision he’d ever made.

Surprisingly, the man’s expression turned softer than usual, and it looked as if there was sadness in his eyes and smile as he addressed him.

“You’re afraid of putting on the new clothes, aren’t you…” It wasn’t a question, and he didn’t understand it as such. Instead, his heart skipped a beat, just to beat faster afterwards at a rhythm that bordered on painful.

“All I can do is promise you that nothing bad will come out of you accepting and wearing your new clothes, though. I can guarantee you that I never break my promises, but it is up to you if you believe me or not…”

The man sighed softly, expressing his hopes that he enjoyed dinner, and left him alone to eat.

He’d been hungry, but his appetite had somehow left him. Still, he made an effort to eat what he’d been brought, and even found himself enjoying it after a while despite the loss of appetite. After all, the food was delicious, the most delicious he’d ever gotten to taste.

Once again, he ate too fast, though, feeling bloated and uncomfortably full afterwards. If the meals kept being this big, he would have to start leaving food behind… But would that be ok? Would he still get enough food in the future when the man saw he left some over? Maybe he could hide it somehow, get rid of it when the man wasn’t home…

His stomach aching uncomfortably, he returned to his corner, laying down again and trying to find a position that wasn’t as uncomfortable as the others. He couldn’t remember succeeding, -or falling asleep, for that matter- but he did jolt awake with a start when the man knocked on his door to pick up the empty tray and check on his wound. It took him longer than usual to get his bearings, and he was still in the process of scrambling into a sitting position when the man came in.

The man observed him for a while, until he was sitting up and obviously aware of his surroundings again, before letting his gaze trail over to the untouched bed.

“You really haven’t been using the bed, huh?” It was both a question and an affirmation, and he tensed.

He didn’t want to think about the bed. For all he cared, the bed didn’t exist in the room.

“Why, though? Is it uncomfortable? If the mattress is too hard or too soft, we can get you a different one…”

He felt panic well up in him as he tried not to think about the bed even though the man kept talking about it. He didn’t want it, he wouldn’t sleep in it! He couldn’t sleep in it! If he did-… He shook his head violently, trying to disperse the image that he knew would be forming in his head before it had a chance to.

The man misunderstood the shake of his head as something else, though.

“No? What is it then?”

He tried coming up with something that didn’t come close to the truth but that would still serve as a valid excuse and make the man leave him alone.

“Dirty!” The first thing that came to his mind blurted out.

“Oh?” The man rose an eyebrow and stepped closer to the bed, making him retreat further into his corner.

Before he knew what the man was about to do, he’d folded back the duvet and inspected the bed.

“You are right, it is dirty! I’m sorry, I didn’t notice! I’ll go get new sheets…”

The man sounded apologetic enough, but he shook his head again.

“No!” He interrupted the man as he was about to leave, making him halt and turn around to look at him.

The man’s sudden scrutiny intimidated him, and he wrapped his arms around his pulled up legs, swallowing heavily.

“I-I’m… dirty.”

The man smiled softly at him.

“Ah… You are afraid you’ll get the sheets dirty?”

He bit his lips, nodding almost imperceptibly.

“Oh… That’s ok, though. Everyone’s sheets get dirty when they sleep in them, you know. Some faster, some slower. If yours get dirty, we can just wash them and put on new ones. Every day, if you want to.”

He could find nothing but understanding and kindness in the man’s eyes as he reassured him, and his throat closed up.

How did he do that? How did he manage to say things in a way… In a way that left him so confused, so unsure yet so reassured at the same time?

He found himself wanting to sleep in the bed now instead of on the cold, hard floor. It was as if the real reason why he didn’t want to sleep in the bed didn’t exist anymore, now that the man had offered him a solution for the made up reason… It was as if with that, he’d offered a solution for every worry, or at least promised silently to find one for everything.

He was lost in thought as he allowed the man to redress the injury on his neck, and even when he’d long left and silence settled over the apartment, he still laid awake, on the floor, thinking.