Hongbin’s eyes didn’t waver from where he’d fixed them on Taekwoon’s back, following him down the hallway after he’d locked the door to their apartment. That strategy almost resulted in luring him into the elevator. Almost. But when Taekwoon walked into the small cubicle and turned around, Hongbin stopped short. There was no way he’d willingly step into that small, cramped space.

“Hongbin? Are you coming?” Taekwoon had to step into the door again, keeping the doors from closing.

Hongbin shook his head.

“Can we… can we take the stairs?”

Taekwoon frowned.

“We’re three floors up.”

Hongbin swallowed, counting mentally. That wasn’t that far. It also would make for a relatively short elevator ride. But what if someone else decided to join them in there? In that small space where there was no room to flee anywhere. He could feel his chest constricting as he tried to convince himself to get into the elevator, for Taekwoon’s sake.

It wasn’t happening, though, no matter how much he tried.

Taekwoon stepped back out of the elevator, into the hallway.

“Ok, we’ll take the stairs, it’s alright.”

Hongbin released a sigh of relief, but he still felt bad for not being able to get into the elevator.

“I’m sorry…” He apologized quietly, but Taekwoon shook his head with a small smile.

“It’s ok, don’t worry about it. Three floors aren’t that much, and elevators aren’t everyone’s thing. I get it. Let’s go.”

There was no hint of resentment in Taekwoon’s voice, nothing that indicated that he might be mad at him for refusing the elevator, and Hongbin calmed down quickly. Fixing his gaze on Taekwoon’s back once again, he followed him to the staircase and down the three flights of stairs to the bottom floor.

He jumped out of the way when the elevator doors opened just as he walked past them, revealing someone who’d just taken the elevator down, and almost ran into Taekwoon. Taekwoon caught him by the shoulders, steadying him quickly before releasing him again.

“Whoa, there! Careful!”

“S-sorry…” Hongbin stuttered, his heart rate sky-rocketing and not calming down even when the person had stepped past them, not without a weird look, and left the building ahead of them.

“It’s ok, Hongbin. Take a deep breath, calm down. None of the people we’ll run into are going to do you any harm, I promise. Just ignore them, ok?”

Hongbin needed more than one deep breath, and Taekwoon gave him the time patiently. They were in no rush, they had all the time in the world. This was for Hongbin, so it was imperative that Hongbin felt comfortable first before they went ahead with anything.

“Better?” Taekwoon asked gently when Hongbin’s breathing returned to normal.

Hongbin nodded, but truthfully, he didn’t feel much better. His stomach was in a knot, and his chest still felt as if it was being crushed in from all sides. Still, he followed Taekwoon as he moved through the foyer towards the large front door.

So far, he was coping, but once Taekwoon opened the door, that came to a screeching halt. And so did he. The wealth of noises that washed inside the building was overwhelming. Mostly, it was the noise of cars driving by in an incessant stream, but it was enough to root him to his spot.

Taekwoon stood quietly in the open door, giving Hongbin time to adjust, but this time it was even harder than just moments ago.

The noise of the cars driving by blended with the noise of blood rushing in his ears, seemingly becoming louder and louder to the point where Hongbin only wanted to wrap his arms around his head and physically block the noise. His legs went from trembling to shaking, feeling as if they definitely weren’t made to be able to support the whole weight of his body, and he could feel himself starting to sweat all over; not the kind of sweating from earlier when he was just too warm in all the clothes, but a cold sweat that made him feel like he was drowning in his clothes.

The noise from outside was joined by smells soon. The smell of rain-wet pavement, exhaust fumes from the cars, hot rubber, wet dog, rotting food. It stank, and it made his stomach heave.

Still, he forced himself to take the few steps towards Taekwoon.

He’d thought he knew what the world in front of the house looked like; he’d spent countless hours staring out of the living room windows studying every detail, after all. From down here, it looked completely different, though. The other high rises surrounding them were suddenly so much taller, standing closer together, looked darker, as if they were giant claws closing around him. He couldn’t help a distressed whimper from escaping his throat.

Taekwoon gave him a worried look, and that was incentive enough to make Hongbin take another couple of steps that brought him past Taekwoon and onto the sidewalk in front of the door, out of the building.

That was as far as he went, though, the rest of his strength seemingly fleeing him right then and there, and he actually gasped when he heard the noise of the front door falling shut behind him. It was a noise of such finality that it overwhelmed Hongbin and he turned back around, starting past Taekwoon and grabbing the handle of the door for leverage as his knees gave out under him.

“No-… no! Please-… No, please, no…” He panted, pushing against the door weakly and hoping for it to open again. He couldn’t do this. It was too much. He wanted to go back inside. Back upstairs, back to their apartment. Back to his room, his blankets. He only wanted away from all this, this… everything. Everything that was too much.

“Hongbin, what-… Hey, hey, shhh, it’s ok. I’m right here, Hongbin. Nothing is going to happen to you. I’m here with you.”

Hongbin shook his head, not knowing how to convey to Taekwoon that he couldn’t do this while his vision started going dark around the edges.

“Please, I don’t-… I can’t… P-please, don’t-… In. Please. Up…”

Hongbin knew he had to breathe, feeling that he wasn’t getting enough air to his lungs, but it seemed impossible. His throat felt as if it was being squeezed shut, and every inhale only brought more smells to him that made him nauseous and scared him. He vaguely felt his knees touch the ground and his hands slipping away from the cold metal handle of the door, and then he felt a strong arm around his body, hauling him up from the floor again.

The door opened in front of him and he was being pushed inside, away from the noise. And then the door fell shut behind him and everything was immediately farther away. The noise, the smells. He felt how he was being lowered again, until he sat on something. The arm disappeared from around him, but a heavy hand remained on his shoulder.

Taekwoon’s hand; he knew it was Taekwoon’s hand. Taekwoon was still with him. Taekwoon was talking to him. He couldn’t hear what Taekwoon was saying, but he was pretty sure he was telling him to breathe again. Now that the smells were gone, and the noises only distant, he could do it again. He could breathe. Not as well as he would have liked to, but it got oxygen to his lungs again, and his head cleared.

“Are you with me again, Hongbin? Can you hear me?”

Hongbin nodded weakly, feeling so, so tired all of a sudden.

Taekwoon’s hand that wasn’t resting on his shoulder came up and wiped over his face, and only then did he feel that his cheeks were moist.

“Do you think you can stand up and walk?”

Hongbin wasn’t sure if he could even think, never mind know if his legs would carry him. He guessed he couldn’t, since he could barely keep his eyes open, but he still tried to get to his legs shakily. Taekwoon’s hands were back on him, on his back and his arm, steadying him. He wasn’t sure if he would have been able to stand on his own, without his help. Still, he blinked hard, fighting the tiredness.

“Are you sure you can walk? Stairs, even?”

Hongbin swallowed. He could only try. His hands found the railing of the stairs Taekwoon had sat him down on, and he turned around to start climbing them.

He made it two steps up before his legs gave out under him and Taekwoon had to catch him before he hit the floor. The thought alone to climb all three flights like this was enough to almost make him collapse from exhaustion before even starting.

Taekwoon sighed softly.

“We won’t go far like this… Hongbin, can I carry you?” He didn’t sound too sure, surely expecting Hongbin to refuse and having to come up with another plan.

Hongbin didn’t know an answer to his question, either. Taekwoon was strong, and he thought he wasn’t too heavy; at least technically, he should be able to carry him. Then again, being carried involved Taekwoon holding him rather close, and his feet would be off the ground, putting him at a serious disadvantage…

Had he had the strength to do that in between trying to supply his lungs with enough oxygen as he tried to catch his breath again, Hongbin would have snorted at himself. What did it matter if his feet were off the ground, putting him at a disadvantage? He wouldn’t be able to use them even if they were on the ground anyway; he could barely move, after all. He was at the worst disadvantage possible already!

Remembering Taekwoon still needed an answer, he shrugged. There was nothing he could do himself at the moment, so it really didn’t matter if he agreed or not with what Taekwoon planned to do with him for the time being.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel worse than you already are…”

Hongbin wasn’t sure; he just didn’t care. Or at least that was what he was telling himself. But he was really starting to long for a place to lie down and sleep that was more familiar and felt safer than the foyer of the building, and so he nodded.

Taekwoon still hesitated.

“Alright… Uhm… I’m going to lift you up, then, ok?”

Hongbin nodded again, but he still tensed when he felt Taekwoon’s arms coming around his shoulders and passing under his knees. His stomach lurched when he felt the ground under him vanish, and instinctively his hands scrambled to hold on to the first thing they could reach to steady himself, despite his tired state. His fingers dug into the lapels of Taekwoon’s jacket, holding on way weaklier that he would have wished.

“Shh, I got you. I won’t let you fall or anything, promise.”

Taekwoon adjusted his hold on Hongbin, and exhaustion caught up with him. His head rolled to come to a rest against Taekwoon’s shoulder without him being able to do anything to avoid it. He didn’t know why he should avoid it anymore, either. He just suddenly felt that it was ok now. Everything was. He could stop struggling, against everything. Especially against falling asleep. He sighed softly, and the tension left his body.

The rocking motion that came with Taekwoon carrying him up the stairs was the final straw to make him give up fighting sleep, and he drifted off.

When he next came to, he was in the living room. On the couch in the living room, more specifically. Under his own blankets. And he was no longer bundled up in a myriad of clothing layers; the coat, scarf, beanie and shoes were all gone, and he felt like he’d be able to move again, if he wanted to. Which he didn’t, not particularly, since he felt quite comfortable where he was.

He startled a little when Taekwoon came back into the room all of a sudden, carrying a mug of coffee, and sat down on the end of the couch, somewhere off where Hongbin’s feet pointed to. Taekwoon just sat there, pulling his phone out to tap something on it while sipping on his coffee, and Hongbin relaxed again. Taekwoon was ignoring him as long as he was ‘sleeping’.

He knew he couldn’t pretend forever, though, and he should just face reality. He’d messed up their going out and had given Taekwoon trouble, having to carry him upstairs, and he needed to own up to it and face the consequences.

He chewed on his bottom lip nervously. Knowing what the right thing to do was and actually doing it were two very different things. And he really was quite content with how things were in that exact moment; quiet and comfortable.

He figured he could compromise. He didn’t necessarily have to alert Taekwoon that he was awake, but he wouldn’t hide it from him, either. He could just quietly lay there, staring at the ceiling… At least for a little while, before it became nerve-wracking and he felt itchy and nervous and anxious, to just lay there and imagine possible scenarios of what would happen once Taekwoon noticed he was awake.

That being said, Taekwoon might even have long noticed that Hongbin was awake and was just waiting for Hongbin to stop being a coward and speak up first…! Hongbin bit his lip hard enough for it to seriously hurt before releasing it. He took a moment longer to gather courage before shifting to sit up.

Taekwoon’s attention was on him immediately, and he regretted everything. There was no turning back now.

“Hey… You’re awake. How are you feeling?”

Hongbin felt stupid. Taekwoon’s voice was so soft and concerned… He should know by now not to expect Taekwoon to greet him with yelling when he’d just woken up.

Hongbin shrugged in answer. He was not about to admit he felt stupid to Taekwoon. Not when Taekwoon was most likely just asking to know whether he was hurting or feeling faint still or something like that, anyway.

“Fine…” He answered truthfully, at least regarding the most obvious things Taekwoon’s question could be about.

“I’m glad. Want some tea?”

Hongbin blinked, not expecting that kind of question, but nodded. Taekwoon got up, and when Hongbin moved to slide off the couch and onto the floor, Taekwoon shook his head.

“Stay there, and rest up. I’ll be right back.”

He went to the kitchen, and Hongbin rested back against the couch cushions. They were so comfortable, so much more comfortable than the floor… He knew his place was not up here but down on the floor, but he liked it so much better up here… And it had been Taekwoon who’d placed him up here and told him to stay, so there was no logical reason to assume he shouldn’t be up here… right?

Taekwoon returned with a mug of tea, handing it to Hongbin, who was perplex at how fast Taekwoon had come back.

“I made it earlier when we came back and put it in a thermos. I figured you’d probably want some when you woke up and didn’t want you to have to wait too long.”

Hongbin thanked him quietly, sipping on the hot beverage. How was Taekwoon always so considerate and thinking ahead? How was that even possible? Humans were such mysterious creatures sometimes… Especially Taekwoon. And especially because he didn’t seem the least bit mad at him, once again. He wondered how that was possible the most, since he himself was mad at himself, so he figured Taekwoon should be even more mad at him.

“I’m sorry… for earlier…” He eventually piped up when he was about halfway done with his tea, gripping the mug tightly. If his hands shook now, at least he wouldn’t be spilling tea over himself.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Hongbin. You don’t control those kinds of reactions from your mind and body.”

Honestly, Hongbin would have felt better being scolded than getting that kind of understanding answer from Taekwoon.

“I am sorry, though… I… I really… I was really trying…”

“I know.” Taekwoon gave him a warm smile. “I know you were. You were trying so much it was maybe a bit too much. We should both have thought about it that too much at once could be overwhelming for you.”

Hongbin hung his head, looking down into the mug he was holding in his lap.

“I ruined it…” He whispered, barely audible, and Taekwoon sighed.

“You didn’t ruin anything, Hongbin. Don’t beat yourself up.”

But Taekwoon didn’t know how much he’d tried to be able to do this so he’d be proud and he had definitely ruined that. He’d wanted this. And it left a sour feeling inside him that he hadn’t been able to do it. He didn’t even understand why he’d reacted that way, either.

“I… Don’t know why-… It’s not… Not even new, all that… Outside. I’ve been there… A lot.”

Taekwoon hummed pensively.

“That might be the reason, you know…?”

He could almost feel the confusion radiating off Hongbin, and knew he had to elaborate.

“Since you’ve been out there a lot… And know well what it’s like, you probably have a lot of... experiences… Maybe that’s why you got overwhelmed, facing it all again so suddenly.”

Hongbin pulled his legs up to hug them to his chest after placing his mug on the table, and rested his forehead on his knees to hide his face, staying silent for a while.

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that…” He eventually whispered.

Taekwoon sighed softly.

“It’s ok… There is nothing wrong about how you reacted. If you want, we can try again another time, just maybe slower. And if you don’t want to try again, that’s ok, too. It’s all up to you.”

Hongbin’s head herked up slightly, his grip on his legs tightening.

“But I want to try again!”

Taekwoon was actually startled by the ferocity of his statement, and Hongbin didn’t miss it, immediately making himself smaller again.

“I-I mean… It’s… I can. I can do it. I won’t fail again, if we were to go…” He trailed off and swallowed thickly, uncertain.

Taekwoon gave him a contemplative look. It wasn’t like Hongbin to actually admit he wanted something, so this must be really important to him.

“Ok… We can try again whenever you want to.”

Hongbin seemed to think about it for a while before taking a deep breath.

“Right now?”

Taekwoon’s eyes widened with surprise.

“Really?”

The way Hongbin flinched, Taekwoon knew that was the wrong reaction.

“I mean, sure. Whenever you want to, means whenever you want to. And if you want to go right now, we can go right now... But I should warn you that now there are way more people out and about than there were earlier.”

Hongbin chewed on his bottom lip again for a while.

“Can we go outside… But not outside-outside? Just… Downstairs?”

Taekwoon nodded.

“Sure.”

Hongbin thought about it a moment longer.

“Do I need to dress up again?”

Taekwoon hummed pensively.

“Coat and shoes should be enough, just in case. It’s still quite cold in the hallways and staircase. Colder than in here, at least, and I don’t want you to get sick.”

Coat and shoes was a compromise Hongbin could live with. If he left the coat open he could even discard it quickly should he need to and run. He lowered his legs again slowly until his feet touched the floor before he hesitated again.

“Can we really…?”

Taekwoon nodded.

“Absolutely. Want to go ahead to get dressed? I put the coat and shoes in the hallway together with mine.”

Hongbin didn’t hesitate anymore, getting up and leaving for the hallway to get dressed with a renewed energy he had completely lacked even before their first try in the morning. Taekwoon followed him after a while, waiting in the doorway until Hongbin was done.

“You can go ahead and explore the hallway while I get dressed. Just this floor. I’ll leave the door open.” Taekwoon offered, and Hongbin didn’t indicate being against that idea, so Taekwoon reached past him and opened the front door wide. Hongbin hesitated in the opening, and Taekwoon didn’t push him to go ahead as he got dressed himself. They probably wouldn’t be going outside, anyway, there really was no need for more than shoes and a coat.

Hongbin was still no further than two steps out of the door by the time Taekwoon was done suiting up, and Taekwoon waited patiently. There was no rush to get anywhere, so Hongbin had all the time in the world to explore at his own pace.

Hongbin turned around to check where Taekwoon was, if he was coming.

“I’m right here. Take your time.” Taekwoon reassured him, standing in the opening of the door. Hongbin took a few more steps down the hallway, the opposite direction than they’d gone in the morning, and peeked around a corner.

“Who lives there?” He whispered over his shoulder, and Taekwoon shrugged.

“An elderly couple. I don’t really know them.”

Hongbin took a few steps back and away from the corner, pointing at another door. “And there?”

“That’s a maintenance closet, no one lives there.”

Hongbin took a step closer.

“Is it open?”

“No idea. You can try the door, though.”

Hongbin approached the door with barely concealed curiosity, and Taekwoon could see the tip of his tail swishing from under the hem of the coat, his ears pointing straight forward in high alert as he approached the door and put his hand on the handle. A moment later, Hongbin jumped back.

“It’s open!” He breathed, and Taekwoon chuckled.

“What’s inside?”

Hongbin approached the door again, opening it cautiously only just far enough to peek inside. He opened it a little wider a moment later, shoulders sagging.

“Just an old broom… and a broken bucket… And lots of dust.”

Taekwoon chuckled.

“Well, it is just a maintenance closet.”

Hongbin pulled the door shut again, having lost all interest in it.

“Does anyone live there?” He pointed at the last door on this floor.

“Some college students, I think.”

Hongbin frowned at that, not commenting further before he started for the staircase. Taekwoon pulled the door to the apartment shut behind him and followed Hongbin at a distance as he inspected the stairs, looking both up and down.

“How many floors are there?”

“Seven, not counting the ground floor.”

Hongbin nodded slowly, looking at his hands and counting his fingers quietly to have an idea just how many floors seven were. Taekwoon never found out to what conclusion Hongbin came for himslef before he started to skip the first flight down, miraculously not producing any sound as he hopped down the steps. He peeked carefully around the corner before taking the next flight that ended in the floor below, and waited there expectantly until Taekwoon joined him.

“It looks the same as upstairs…” Hongbin commented, and Taekwoon hummed.

“The floors all look the same.”

Hongbin seemed disappointed by that, until he had an idea.

“Is there a maintenance closet here, too?”

Taekwoon honestly didn’t know.

“Maybe, I don’t know. If there is, it would be in the same spot as the one upstairs. You can go check if you want.”

Hongbin hesitated only a moment before walking over to the door that would be in the same spot on their floor, trying the handle. He was disappointed, though, his ears drooping along with his shoulders.

“It’s locked…”

Taekwoon hummed understandingly.

“That’s too bad. But maybe the one on the first floor is open.”

Hongbin peaked up again, turning around to go back to the staircase and starting down it before Taekwoon even had time to turn around as well. Taekwoon smiled at his enthusiasm, following him at a slower, but still rather quick pace, just to make sure to be there in case something happened.

Hongbin was waiting on the last step of the stairs, rushing into the hallway as soon as Taekwoon came into sight as he rounded the corner of the stairs.

Just as Taekwoon reached the last step of the stairs, a voice that wasn’t Hongbin’s reached his ears.

“What are you doing there?”

Hongbin yelped, jumping back from the maintenance closet door, slamming it shut before he took off down the hallway and towards Taekwoon. For a moment Taekwoon thought Hongbin would run straight past him, but he stopped short right next to him and cowered behind him.

A grumpy looking man stood in front of one of the apartment doors, pulling it closed and locking itafter him while eyeing them warily.

“Good afternoon. We’re from the third floor. We were just checking out the maintenance closets.” Taekwoon explained, shifting a bit to give Hongbin more room to hide behind him.

“The cleaning team keep their stuff locked in the closets on the second and fifth floors. Won’t find much more than dust bunnies in the others.” The man grumbled, and Taekwoon nodded.

“Yes, we’ve been noticing. Anyway, have a good afternoon.” The man nodded, grumbling a “Likewise”, and headed for the elevators.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Taekwoon turned around to check on Hongbin.

He was holding his coat closed in front of him, standing unmoving as he kind of hugged himself like that.

“Hongbin? Are you alright?”

Surprisingly, Hongbin nodded. And after a moment passed, he hid his mouth behind his hands and whispered:

“His hat looked so weird, did you see?”

Taekwoon laughed loudly, relieved, and grinned in answer afterwards.

“I did. I’d only ever seen that print on dishtowels, but never a hat… To each their clown, I guess…”

Hongbin made a choked noise, still hiding half his face behind his hands, but Taekwoon thought he saw something like amusement twinkle in his eyes before he lowered his gaze to his feet.

“Want to keep going or go back up?” Taekwoon eventually asked, and Hongbin thought for a moment, before decidedly answering “Down.”

Taekwoon stepped back, letting Hongbin take the lead again. He was slightly less enthusiastic and fast, sticking closer to Taekwoon and making sure to wait up at every corner until Taekwoon had caught up to him as they took the last flight of stairs down to the lobby.

“Do any people live down here?” Hongbin almost whispered as they stepped off the stairs.

Taekwoon shook his head.

“Not really. There are two apartments down here, but one is empty and the other rented out to a yoga group or something like that, I think.”

While Hongbin had gone ahead to explore the other floors on his own, he didn’t go far from Taekwoon down here, and he ignored the existence of the front door and elevator almost completely as he did advance slowly.

“Why is there a desk?” He asked after a while, still whispering.

“There used to be a security service here, before it was discontinued. But I guess in case they ever want to hire security for the building again, they kept the desk down here.”

Hongbin shivered, the thought of a security service in the building making him feel unwell, and he pulled the coat tighter around himself. Security service reminded him too much of enforcers, especially since they tended to work together, and it never boded well for him. He was glad they no longer had security in the building, or he’d never ever leave the apartment, ever again.

He finished inspecting most of the lobby and inquiring Taekwoon about where the different doors led, deciding he didn’t need to see the basement, and hesitated when he came to an end and couldn’t think of any more questions. The only thing they could still do down here was leave the place, and that wasn’t something Hongbin felt up to at the moment.

“Can we go back?” He asked, quieter than even any of his other questions since they’d arrived in the lobby.

Taekwoon shrugged, then nodded.

“Sure.”

He stepped back once again to let Hongbin lead the way, and Hongbin headed for the stairs. He was much faster climbing them than Taekwoon, getting less out of breath, too. In fact, with every step he took, he felt lighter, and by the time they reached the third floor he was almost skipping to their front door, waiting next to it for Taekwoon, who took a moment longer to finish climbing the stairs and to catch his breath before joining him.

It was only when the door fell shut behind them with them inside again that Hongbin felt completely at ease again, though, and it was clearly visible for Taekwoon. Watching him scamper down the hallway and to his room, Taekwoon still decided that it had been a good idea to go out again this very same day, as it seemed to have improved Hongbin’s mood a lot despite the episode in the morning. They simply had to take it slower, and think their steps further through before going ahead with major things for Hongbin to be fine with them, he decided.

*#*#*#*

The next few days saw the ‘take it slower’ part through, when it came to the project of going outside. Another trip down to the lobby resulted in Hongbin peeking out through the a crack wide open front door for a good twenty minutes, before a neighbor came home, startling Hongbin as he missed them coming up to the door until they were in his face, and Hongbin darted up the stairs two flights.

During the next trip down, Taekwoon held the front door wide open for Hongbin to study the outside from a safe distance inside the building, letting him come closer to the open door at his own pace, even though his knees were freezing off from the winter chill coming in. The trip ended with another arriving neighbor, but this time Hongbin felt it was enough to only hide behind Taekwoon until they were out of sight again. He still asked to go back up afterwards.

On the third trip, Hongbin found enough courage to take a few steps outside the front door, to the corner of the building, where he finally found the sights he was used to from looking out of the windows upstairs. He might have gone further to explore more around the corner, but a light rain started up and Hongbin made it back to the front door so fast Taekwoon could have sworn he left a vapor trail standing in his wake.

After that, Hongbin spent over an hour in the bathroom before asking Taekwoon for help with washing his hair, and even with drying and brushing it. It was getting too long for him to get those tasks done alone again, but he didn’t dare try to cut it himself, nor ask Taekwoon for help with that. Scissors anywhere near his head was a no-no that still made his ears tremble in fear and phantom pain.

The following days brought rain, and Hongbin quickly got bored just walking the same old hallways and rather uninteresting staircase again and again.

It was a Friday when he found the skies not weeping for once and went to ask Taekwoon if they could really go outside that day. Taekwoon agreed, not without coaxing Hongbin into bundling up again, though.

Once they took one step outside and the icy winter winds hit Hongbin, he was actually glad for Taekwoon’s insistence.

It was the middle of the morning, and the cold wind kept most people inside the buildings, meaning they didn’t see many people. That, and the fact they didn’t stay by the big road, but rather walked to the back of the house and away from the worst noise.

The scents and noises still crashed into Hongbin with ferocity, but he was adjusting rather quickly, now that he had had time to get used to them again. He felt calmer now, standing on the muddy lawn between the houses, than he had even the second time down in the lobby on that first day.

“Where does this path lead to?” He asked Taekwoon, pointing at a path of broken concrete tiles, lined by waist-high hedges that were a year or two overdue for a trim.

“To another big road when you go left, and the park I told you about before when you go right.”

Hongbin’s attention focused in the distance to where the path led to on his right.

“Can we go?”

Taekwoon nodded.

“Of course, if you want to.”

Hongbin felt adventurous, and took a few steps down that path before turning back to see if Taekwoon was coming. He needn’t worry, though, since Taekwoon was a mere two steps behind him.

Hongbin walked rather quickly and with purpose as long as the path meandered between the backyards of the houses, with the overgrown hedges to both sides, but slowed down once the end of the path came into sight, and stopped completely when the path ended and opened to a sidewalk and small one-way street.

Taekwoon caught up the two steps he was behind Hongbin, looking down the street to both sides. It was empty, no cars nor people in sight, so it would be safe to cross and walk into the park. Still, he waited for what Hongbin wanted to do.

“It’s ok to go in there?” He eventually asked, and Taekwoon nodded.

“It is.”

It was all the encouragement Hongbin needed to cross the street and step through the opening in the hedge on the other side and into the park. Still, now he made sure to stick to Taekwoon’s side as they walked, even if it visibly cost him quite a bit of self-control.

“You can go and run around if you want to, explore at your heart’s content. I’ll be here and make sure no one bothers you.” Taekwoon reassured him.

The park was wide and open, and he’d notice immediately if someone else joined them in it. They’d gone far enough in that it would give Hongbin plenty of time to come back to his side should anyone else come into the park and unsettle him, too.

Hongbin still hesitated for a while, but as they neared the pond in the center of the park, his curiosity won over.

“Be careful, the edges are slippery. And the water is gross and freezing, I wouldn’t recommend going for a swim right now.” Taekwoon warned as Hongbin edged closer to the water’s surface, but Hongbin was already being careful, crouching close to the water’s edge.

“There are fish!” He exclaimed after a moment, and Taekwoon came closer to inspect the murky liquid. A few rather small, red goldfish swam into the shadow Hongbin was casting on the water’s surface, most likely hoping he’d throw something in to feed them. Hongbin stared in fascination, watching the fish for longer than Taekwoon thought they could hold anyone’s interest, and he was starting to wonder if it was a cat-thing when Hongbin eventually stood up again.

“Can fish get cold?”

Taekwoon blinked at the sudden question.

“I, uh… I don’t know. But I can look it up later.” That was something he’d never wondered about before.

Hongbin didn’t seem too upset at his lack of an answer, soon finding something else at the bottom of a bush that caught his interest, which he poked at with a stick. A gust of wind went into the bush and blew whatever it was Hongbin was looking at out of it, and Hongbin took off after it.

Taekwoon could only say he was impressed at the speed at which Hongbin ran, and even more at the leap he took into the air to catch the thing; and he caught it at once, needing no more than that one precise leap.

Hongbin seemed to realize what he’d just done as he caught a glance of Taekwoon, hunching his shoulders and lowering his head as Taekwoon once again closed the distance between them.

“What did you catch?” Taekwoon asked nonchalantly, and Hongbin straightened a little, unsure if he was in trouble or not. He opened his hand, showing Taekwoon the leaf he was holding. It wasn’t special, just a small red leaf with jagged edges and some dark dots, but it was kind of pretty.

“That’s cute.” Taekwoon nodded approvingly, and Hongbin straightened the rest of the way, realizing he was, in fact, not in trouble.

They kept walking, and Taekwoon saw Hongbin put the leaf in his coat pocket surreptitiously, as if fearing to be caught and told off. He focused his gaze on the walkway in front of them then, sighing to himself. Hongbin always seemed to be thinking he was doing something that warranted a punishment, no matter what it was what he was doing. It really made him wonder what kind of hell he must have been through, if simple things like running or putting a leaf in his pocket were enough to make him think he might be in trouble.

Most of all, it made him wonder and worry what he could do better to take that fear from Hongbin. Was he too strict, too? Or was he unknowingly intimidating Hongbin somehow? Was there anything he said or a way in his reactions that might make Hongbin think he’d be in trouble all the time?

He needed to talk to Minhyuk again; it pained him to see Hongbin so wary all the time, he wanted nothing more than for him to be able to feel comfortable around him, and to not fear him.

A quiet gasp from Hongbin eventually pulled Taekwoon out of his thoughts. Looking over to where the other was walking next to him, he noticed how fidgety Hongbin had become.

“Huh? What is it?” He asked, confused, before his mind caught up with his mouth.

There it was again, the tensing in Hongbin’s shoulders as if he was expecting-… He didn’t know, but it certainly wasn’t anything positive.

“N-nothing…” Hongbin answered, much to Taekwoon’s dissatisfaction. He was soon distracted again, though, and Taekwoon followed Hongbin’s gaze to a tree. At first, he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, until he spotted a movement on one of the branches by the trunk.

An orange striped cat sat there, cleaning itself.

A truckload of questions popped up in Taekwoon’s mind, all of which he thought might be inappropriate to ask Hongbin, so he stayed quiet. He still wondered, though, if Hongbin would be able to communicate with the cat on another level than for example what he would be capable of. Or if hybrids considered themselves above the animals they shared traits with, like humans tended to. He wondered if they felt offended by the animals, since Hongbin was indeed behaving very strangely, or if it was nothing like that at all and he might even feel a sense of companionship with the cat in the tree.

Eventually, he couldn’t keep watching Hongbin’s fidgeting any longer, and at the risk of offending him, he finally asked the question burning on his tongue.

“Do you want to go over?”

Hongbin almost jumped.

“W-what?”

Taekwoon nodded at the tree.

“Over to the cat in that tree. You’ve been staring at it.”

Hongbin stopped in his tracks, shifting his weight from one foot to the other while almost looking up at Taekwoon.

“C-can I?”

Taekwoon frowned a little, still unsure about so many things.

“That depends. Are you planning to hurt the cat?”

Hongbin looked horrified, and the expression alone was answer enough for Taekwoon.

“No! I’d never!”

Taekwoon hummed, nodding.

“Ok. I was just making sure. In that case, sure, go meet the cat.”

Hongbin hesitated a moment longer, and it took another encouraging nod from Taekwoon before he took off at a jog towards the tree. The cat on the branch stopped cleaning itself, looking down at the approaching figure. It didn’t move, though.

Taekwoon could only watch from a distance what was happening, but it seemed like Hongbin was trying to coax the cat to come down from the tree. It wasn’t happening, though.

And then -Taekwoon was sure if he’d blinked he would have missed it- Hongbin crouched for a moment, and the next he was pulling himself up onto the branch next to the cat, which still didn’t move an inch.

Taekwoon gaped at the scene, watching Hongbin get comfortable on the branch while the cat watched him as well.

He shook his head, wondering if he’d imagined what his eyes had just seen, if he was possibly still at home in his bed, sleeping, and having a weird dream.

Of course, that was nonsense. But so should the leap Hongbin had just taken be, and yet, that had been very real, proven by the fact that Hongbin was still sitting on that branch. The orange cat was now standing half on his lap and sniffing up at his face while he leaned down to meet it halfway, and Taekwoon shook his head again. He just had to accept the fact that Hongbin had jumped up to that branch that was way out of his own reach, and could probably do a bunch of other things he had no clue about, too.

His shock subsiding, he slowly ambled over to the tree himself, wary of staying too far away from Hongbin for long. No matter what his abilities entailed, hybrids were not safe on their own in a society such as theirs, and those with a tracking collar and ‘feral’ status even less so.

Once Hongbin caught sight of Taekwoon again over his playing with the cat, he froze in his spot for a moment, and then calmly removed the orange cat from his lap and placed it back on the branch. He hesitated only for a moment longer before sliding off the branch, much to Taekwoon’s dismay, and landed perfectly on his feet in front of Taekwoon a heartbeat later, to the latter’s eternal relief.

Hongbin was completely unsure about what to expect now, cowering in on himself as much as he could while still standing. He hadn’t thought before jumping up onto that tree. It had just been the logical consequence; if the cat didn’t want to come down, he had to get up. But now… That could get him into serious trouble. If someone had seen him and called the enforcers…! And if that got Taekwoon into trouble, he would never forgive himself. Also, Taekwoon had every right to be mad at him. He’d probably dirtied the clothes he was wearing a lot by sitting on that damp, mossy branch, and he was covered in cat hairs. And… jumping up onto trees really wasn’t what was considered appropriate behaviour anywhere. He should have known better.

“So, did you get along with that friend?”

Hongbin blinked in utter confusion, just to see Taekwoon tilting his head as he looked up at the orange cat with the same warm smile he wore so often. For a moment, he wasn’t sure if Taekwoon was talking to the cat or him.

“I, uh…”

Taekwoon lowered his gaze to Hongbin again, who quickly averted his own.

“Did you get hurt jumping down from up there?”

Hongbin shook his head, and Taekwoon continued.

“You didn’t have to come down just because I caught up. We’re in no rush to get anywhere.”

Hongbin hunched his shoulders again.

“I just… I didn’t… I shouldn’t have gotten up there…”

Taekwoon frowned slightly.

“Huh? Why?”

Hongbin took a deep breath.

“I-I-… It’s not… I-…” He exhaled slowly before continuing, a little calmer. “It’s not allowed.”

Taekwoon was still frowning.

“I didn’t see any signs anywhere saying that it wasn’t allowed. In fact, I see kids climbing around in the less tall trees in the summer all the time, so why shouldn’t it be allowed for you?”

Hongbin didn’t know how to answer, and Taekwoon continued, much softer.

“If you thought I’d be mad at you for climbing up there, I’m not. I’m a little surprised about how easy you got up there, as well as I was surprised at how fast you can run and jump and catch things earlier. But I’m not against you doing any of these. You can run and jump and climb as much as you want here, and I’ll make sure no one bothers you because of  it.”

Silence hung between them for a moment, and just as Hongbin was about to reply, something bumped against the back of his leg, making him jump with a choked squeak. It was the orange cat, which had climbed down in the meantime, and had come to bump against him to ask for more attention.

Taekwoon chuckled at that, crouching down and extending a hand to the cat. The cat didn’t hesitate, taking the invitation immediately and bumping its head against Taekwoon’s hand, letting him scratch behind it’s ears and pet it.

Hongbin gaped at that, and then his brows furrowed and a low growl escaped his throat before he could hold it back.

Taekwoon looked up at him, raising an eyebrow, before getting up with the cat in his arms and closing the distance to Hongbin. Gently, he transferred the orange cat into Hongbin’s arms, which went up to hold it instinctively when Taekwoon started to pass it to him.

“There’s no need to be jealous, Hongbin. I’m pretty sure I can talk for this little one, too, when I say we’ll both always like you more than we’d ever like each other.”

Hongbin felt the heat of shame creep up his neck and cheeks, and he would have apologized for his behaviour, if he hadn’t been distracted by the cat starting to try to catch the string of the hood of his coat to play with.

Taekwoon chuckled as he watched the scene.

“Go on and play with him, and don’t worry for a moment. It’s all good.”

Hongbin wasn’t sure about it, but the cat soon managed to convince him to set it down and before long they were chasing after each other. Hongbin never went too far from Taekwoon, though, for which Taekwoon was secretly grateful, and the cat soon caught on and stayed close as well.

Engrossed in their play, Hongbin jumped up onto the tree one more time without thinking, and ended up rolling in the wet grass once, too. Taekwoon made a mental note to get Hakyeon’s coat professionally cleaned before returning it to him, and to get Hongbin a coat of his own as soon as possible. That was, if it wasn’t too late and he’d have to get Hakyeon a new coat, too. Seeing Hongbin so carefree, even if just for short moments at a time, made it all worth, though.

It was the orange cat that eventually stopped the fun, indicating very clearly that it didn’t want to play anymore. The cat trotted off to the far end of the park, and Hongbin returned to Taekwoon’s side.

“I got the clothes dirty…” Hongbin admitted with a small voice when he reached Taekwoon, but Taekwoon only shook his head.

“That’s fine, they can be cleaned. Did you have fun?”

Hongbin shrugged lightly, slowly, as if not sure whether to admit to it or not. There was no use denying it, Taekwoon was thinking, but then again it had been so obvious that he wouldn’t have needed to ask about it in the first place, either.

“Where did he go?” Hongbin then asked, looking in the direction the cat had disappeared into.

“Home, probably. He belongs to the owner of a small café over on that side of the park.”

Hongbin kept looking into the distance where the cat had disappeared to, until a growling stomach interrupted the momentary silence between them. Taekwoon knew it wasn’t his own stomach, and he chuckled slightly as Hongbin bit his lip, frowning at himself.

“You’re hungry. Want to go back home, or should we go to the café, too?”

Hongbin didn’t answer, biting his lip again as he debated. Taekwoon could tell whenever he was leaning towards preferring to go home, and when he was debating going to the café. In the end, the latter won out.

“Can we really?”

“Go to the café? Absolutely. I wouldn’t suggest it if it wasn’t an option.”

Hongbin was still hesitant, though, chewing on his lip a little more as he looked in the direction of the café again. Taekwoon was starting to think that he should really make sure Hongbin found a different occupation than chew his lip raw. It was kind of getting out of hand lately, and his poor lips were really starting to show it.

“But… Can… Can I go, too?”

It took a moment before Taekwoon thought he knew what Hongbin meant.

“You’re with me, so there won’t be a problem. It’s a nice place, too, they don’t discriminate. You’ll be fine to go there.” He’d done some research about places around the area that were nice enough to take Hongbin to eventually, but he’d known about that café before. Coincidentally, he’d first discovered it because of that orange cat, too, quite some time ago.

Hongbin’s posture relaxed somewhat and he let go of his abused lip. When he was ready, they started towards the café, but Hongbin quickly hung half a step back when the first glimpses of the building came into view through the shrubbery. He reassured Taekwoon he was ok, though, when the latter asked, and kept following him as he lead the way. To Taekwoon’s surprise, he didn’t hesitate to enter the establishment after him, either.

Taekwoon chose a table by a window that was half hidden by a huge rose-bush growing outside, and it was then that Hongbin showed the first signs of hesitancy.

“Is this ok? Or would you rather sit somewhere else?”

Hongbin shook his head.

“No… No, this is ok. It’s ok. It’s-…” He exhaled sharply, and closed his eyes. He didn’t open them when he spoke again. “Where do I sit?”

Taekwoon blinked, confused.

“Wherever you want to…” He realized then that that was not a satisfactory answer, not in this case. “Oh… Wait. Not on the floor, though. Choose one of the seats.”

Hongbin looked as if he’d told him to sit in the middle of the freezing, muddy pond instead, and Taekwoon sighed in defeat.

“I’m sorry, I forgot for a moment that you don’t like sitting on chairs and such. But you can’t sit on the floor in here… I’m really sorry, I should have thought about it. We can leave, if you want to.”

Hongbin kept his gaze trained on the floor, silent for quite a while, while Taekwoon gave him the time to make a decision and signaled the waitress not to come over.

“It’s not… not that I don’t like… not sitting on the floor…” Hongbin eventually whispered, only just loud enough that Taekwoon could hear him. “It’s… I’ve never… I was never… Sitting on furniture never ended well for me…” Taekwoon could barely catch the last bit, having to lean in to do so.

“Oh…” He breathed, ever so eloquently. “Oh… I’m-… That’s-… Well. I promise you, you’ll never get in trouble with me for sitting on furniture. If it’s meant to be sat on, you are allowed to sit on it. I won’t force you to, and you can choose wherever you want to sit at home. It’s just, here…” He trailed off, helplessly, and Hongbin nodded understandingly, though not without looking at the chair as if it was about to spit on him.

“We don’t have to sit at this table. Look, those over there have padded benches. Would you prefer those?”

Hongbin eyed the booths with the benches propped against the walls curiously. The benches with the thick padding were new to him. Not new in the sense that he’d never seen the kind before, but new in the sense that he’d never even come close to sitting on one. Which, of course, also meant he’d never been kicked off one, and his body wouldn’t hurt with the memory of past blows and anticipation of new ones while he sat there.

Taekwoon interpreted the look right and moved over to one of the booths, but let Hongbin climb into it first. He realized only when he was sitting down that he was blocking the entry to the booth, basically cornering Hongbin with the way he was sitting, but Hongbin didn’t seem to mind, entranced already by the image of a cake stamped on a glossy menu.

“You can choose whatever you want to eat and drink.” Taekwoon informed him, picking up a second menu card to choose something for himself.

Gingerly, Hongbin picked up the menu he’d been staring at, too, mimicking Taekwoon. Sadly, there weren’t images of everything to help him choose, and he had to decipher the words that covered the pages to find out what the café had to offer.

“There’s tea, if you want that.” Taekwoon eventually helped him out, and Hongbin looked up from the menu, placing it flat on the table next and pointing at a word near the bottom of a page.

“This?”

Taekwoon smiled softly.

“Yes, that’s ‘tea’. Do you want that?”

Hongbin nodded, only once.

“Ok. And any cake?”

That one was easy, and Hongbin pointed at the one on the front cover. It was an opulent chocolate and cream cake, but Taekwoon figured since Hongbin usually didn’t eat that much sugar, he’d be ok this once. Lord knew that Sungjae ate way more sugary stuff than Hongbin did, and he was still alive, too.

“I’ll go over to the counter and order. Will you be fine over here?”

The café was mostly empty, there were only two women sitting in the last booth on the opposite end of the row, and Hongbin had already smelled that one of them was a hybrid, too. He’d instantly lost a considerable amount of his instinctual fear upon registering that. Also, anyone who came in through the door had to pass by the counter, where Taekwoon would be, so if anyone came in, Taekwoon would still be between him and them. He would be ok, and he answered accordingly. Only then did Taekwoon leave to place their order.

It took him a while to come back, but when he did, he was bringing their drinks and food with him. Hongbin couldn’t help but jump in his seat once, just a little bit, in excitement as Taekwoon put the tray down. His excitement died instantly when he noticed there was only one slice of cake, and changed to confusion when Taekwoon placed that slice in front of him, anyway.

“I’m good, don’t mind me. If I want some cake in a bit, I’ll just get myself some. Enjoy yours.”

Hongbin hesitated a bit longer before picking up the small cake fork. Taekwoon cleared his throat quietly.

“No one is going to judge you, Hongbin. Just use your left hand.”

Hongbin blushed, lowering his head, and passed the fork to his other hand before digging into the cake. His expression froze slightly as he chewed the first bite of the cake, his grip on the fork tightening.

Taekwoon watched him closely.

“Is everything ok?”

Hongbin nodded once, but his expression said it wasn’t ok. He took another bite of the cake, and tried to mask a cough, but the grimace that contorted his face was stronger than his will.

“You don’t have to eat the cake if you don’t like it, Hongbin…” Taekwoon reassured him, guessing that that was the reason for his discomfort.

Hongbin wanted to deny it, say that the cake was delicious, but he couldn’t. He put the fork down with a dejected expression.

“It’s so sweet…” He whispered, shuddering slightly.

Taekwoon chuckled.

“I figured it would be. Want to get another one?”

Now that was something Hongbin would never ask for, but his longing gaze betrayed him, and Taekwoon got up to get him another piece of cake. Something less sweet, and more fruity. He was pretty sure Hongbin liked fruit, if the permanently vanishing grapes in his fridge were any indication, and so he chose a fruit tart with plenty of grapes for him instead this time around.

“I’m sorry I don’t like that cake…” Hongbin apologized as soon as Taekwoon returned.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to like everything. Here, try this one. I’ll eat the rest of that chocolate monster.” He placed the new slice in front of Hongbin, taking the other for himself.

One bite was enough to confirm that Hongbin liked that cake a lot better, and Taekwoon himself tried the chocolate cake. He found it wasn’t even that sweet, but then again, Hongbin had never struck him as having much of a sweet tooth before, either.

They ate in relative silence, as they always did, until Hongbin spoke up.

“Why do so many trees and bushes lose their leaves in winter?”

Taekwoon was a little confused by the question for a moment, until he followed Hongbin’s line of sight and found the bare rose-bush in front of the window.

“Ah… I think it’s because the leaves would freeze off in the cold anyway, so the plants prefer to get rid of them before that happens.”

Hongbin hummed, continuing to stare out of the window.

“That’s petty.” He concluded eventually, and Taekwoon snorted, almost choking on his cake. Hongbin looked alarmed for a second, until he realized Taekwoon was laughing.

“I suppose it is.”

Hongbin’s alarm died down and he went back to looking out of the window while munching on his cake and sipping his tea occasionally.

“What is this fruit called?” He asked after a while, pointing at one piece on his cake.

“I think that could be mango. It probably says in the menu.”

Hongbin handed him a menu, and Taekwoon held it so that they could both read at the same time.

“It’s this cake here. What does it say is on it?”

Hongbin leaned forward, half across the table, to decipher the words.

“Grapes, kiwi… what’s this?”

“Strawberry.”

“Strawberry, banana… Banana is easy to read… But this isn’t…” He pointed at another word he was struggling with.

“It’s pineapple.”

“…And mango.”

Taekwoon hummed.

“So that orange bit is mango.”

Hongbin sighed contently, sitting back.

“Mango is delicious…”

Taekwoon added mango to his mental shopping list.

Slowly, the pieces of cake vanished and the drinks emptied, in between a bunch more seemingly random questions Hongbin came up with while observing the world around them, both inside the café and in front of the window. Taekwoon didn’t mind his questions at all, even if he didn’t know perfect answers for all of them, but did his best to answer. Hongbin wasn’t upset when Taekwoon didn’t know something, simply coming up with a different question about a new topic instead.

Taekwoon loved this new, curious side of Hongbin. He had a feeling he was trying to distract himself from his underlying nervousness that didn’t go away completely this whole time, but it seemed to work enough for him to relax at least somewhat and seemingly enjoy himself. As time passed, he noticed Hongbin was getting tired, and he decided it was probably time to leave. He announced he was going to the counter to pay, and Hongbin nodded absentmindedly, still looking out of the window, where two birds were fighting over something in the rose-bush.

Taekwoon vaguely noticed that the door opened and closed while he was paying, but didn’t pay it any mind until he turned around to go back to the table to pick up his coat and get Hongbin, but almost barreled into him as he came rushing towards him, eyes wide and terror written all over his face. Taekwoon caught him as he was about to fall over backwards from his abrupt stop.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Hongbin tried to answer but the words died in his throat and instead he sunk his fingers into the sleeves of Taekwoon’s sweater, holding on tight as if his life depended on it.

“Here… T-they’re here… They-…” Hongbin stammered, tears springing into his eyes as he turned to look at the other side of the room were two men were just sitting down.

“What? Who’s here, Hongbin?”

“T-they… T-the-… The-… Over t-there…” He motioned vaguely at the two men, and it was only then Taekwoon noticed they were in uniform. A dirty whiteish grey, the kind worn by city workers and-… Oh.

Taekwoon’s heart sunk.

Gently, he shifted so he was standing with his back to the enforcers, shielding Hongbin from them, and blocking Hongbin’s view of them.

“It’s ok, Hongbin. They can’t do you any harm. You didn’t do anything wrong, they don’t have a reason to hurt you. And I’m here with you, I won’t let them do anything to you. You’re safe from them.”

Hongbin shook his head, though, his grip on Taekwoon’s sleeves tightening, and for the first time he lifted his head to look directly at Taekwoon, eyes meeting.

“N-no, they- they are evil. T-they hurt j-just for fun, n-no reason. P-please-… Please, I want home…”

Taekwoon’s heart broke for Hongbin, the fear and pain in his gaze cutting into his soul.

“Ok… Ok, we’ll go home. Let’s get our things and then we’ll leave, ok?”

Hongbin didn’t let go of Taekwoon’s sleeves, though, and only released his hold on one of them when Taekwoon gently turned him around to guide him back to where they had been sitting and where their coats and other outerwear still was. There was no way to get Hongbin to let go of him as he picked up their clothes. He helped Hongbin at least into his scarf and beanie, only draping his coat around his shoulders, and did the same to his own before leading Hongbin out of the café.

He noticed the two women who had already been in the café when they’d come in leave, too, and the waitress behind the counter sending the two enforcers angry looks that were supposed to burn a hole through them, if Taekwoon was interpreting them right, and then they were outside.

Hongbin was still shaking and after they’d put at least the terrace of the café with the bushes surrounding it behind them, Taekwoon stopped. Hongbin, not wanting to let go of his hold on Taekwoon, was forced to a stop, too, and turned around with a frightened expression. Taekwoon wondered if he was scared of him once again, too, and did his best to soften his expression.

“We can’t walk around out here this poorly dressed, Hongbin. You have to let go of my sleeve for a moment. Just for a moment so we can both put our coats on right, ok?”

It wasn’t ok, not at all, and Hongbin let out a distressed whimper.

“Hongbin, please. I don’t want either of us to get sick. Here, you can hold on to the hem of my jumper while I put my coat on, ok?” It took a moment to coax Hongbin to hold on to another part of his clothes while he dressed properly, and even more convincing for him to let go long enough to put on his own coat, and when they were both finally dressed right, Hongbin clung to the side of Taekwoon’s coat, basically tucking himself under Taekwoon’s arm for the rest of the way home, which they managed in record time.

Hongbin didn’t let go even when they entered their building, nor the entire way up to the third floor. Their front door closed behind them when they stood in the hallway of their apartment, and still Hongbin held on.

“Hongbin, we’re home.” Taekwoon alerted him softly, but Hongbin shook his head in denial.

It took a moment for Taekwoon to realize how spaced out Hongbin was, and he cupped his face, trying to ground him. Hongbin’s gaze focused somewhat.

“Look around, Hongbin. We’re home. It’s ok. It’s only us here. No one else. You’re safe.”

Hongbin barely took his eyes off Taekwoon, now fixed on his chest once more, but it seemed to ground him some more, his breathing becoming more steady again, and Taekwoon managed to make him let go of him once again, allowing him to take his coat off and then help Hongbin out of his.

Hongbin stayed quiet, but Taekwoon could tell he was getting a grip on himself again as he was slipping out of his shoes. Contrary to normal, he left them messily strewn about, ththou, soon followed by the scarf and hat that only landed in the general direction of their usual place. Taekwoon didn’t mention it, picking them up himself as he watched Hongbin stumble down the hallway and to his room. He heard the door fall shut and the lock click, and sighed forlornly.

Dejected, he trudged to the living room, sitting down on the couch and resting his face in his hands.

He’d so hoped that their first real trip outside would go well, to give Hongbin nothing but good memories since he showed so much enthusiasm lately about going outside, trying so hard, and it had to end this way. He hadn’t counted on meeting any enforcers, especially not in that café. And he hadn’t expected that kind of reaction to them from Hongbin. Sure, he’d always known, or at least suspected, that Hongbin would have some bad history with them, considering where he’d found him, but this… Hongbin willingly clinging to him, and with such determination… He must have been scared worse than he thought at first. He’d even looked him in the eyes as he pleaded with him, and that hadn’t happened before, not for any reason.

He rubbed his hands over his face, feeling tears sting his own eyes.

He just hoped he hadn’t added to Hongbin’s anguish and made this whole thing even worse for him. As selfish as that was, he didn’t want to have to live with that guilt. All of this was hard enough on him as it was; sure, it was infinitely harder for Hongbin, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t suffering, too.

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A/N.: I promise I had planned to make this chapter a happy one. I really had. Well, maybe not 100% happy, but still way happier. Oh well, it didn't work out. I finished writing the last bit earlier today just five minutes before my students were supposed to come in for class, and I was a sobbing mess (I'm sensitive today, be gentle with me). Good thing make-up exists to hide the disaster that I looked then. 

Anyway, I finished this chapter and I have no patience to wait until the weekend to upload it, so it's going up now even though I know no one reads on weekdays and I'm setting myself up for disappointment. If you do happen to read this on a weekday, prove me wrong and leave a comment :) upvotes and subs will also be seen as proof that my theory is wrong and are just as appreciated, and not just on weekdays but weekends as well. I'm rambling, it's late, it's been a long day.

Anyway, enjoy, and if you enjoy it enough, maybe you'll find its worth a little tip, which you can leave over here. (I say anyway too much, don't I?)