Hongbin stood hesitantly in the doorway of the living room, hiding the kitchen scissors up in his sleeve. Taekwoon was at home, working in his office, and he wasn’t sure if he would approve of him taking the scissors out of the kitchen. He was pretty distracted, though, so Hongbin decided to risk it and sneak down the hallway to his room with the scissors. For good measure, he locked the door of his room behind him, listening intently for any reaction from Taekwoon.

There was none; he must not have heard him.

Letting out a quiet breath of relief, Hongbin walked quietly across the room to where he’d left the journal on the windowsill, together with the sheet of paper where Taekwoon had written his name.

Even though he could see perfectly in almost every lighting, he wanted the best lighting when he went and tried to cut out the letters to paste in the journal. There was no room for mistakes.

Gingerly, he shook the scissors out of his sleeve and meticulously started cutting out the letters. Not individually, but the whole word, and with a wide margin, too, but with how careful he was, he might as well have been performing brain surgery. The letters were precious to him, and he would have hated to make any mistakes cutting them out.

Finally, he was done, and he placed the neatly cut out piece of paper on the first page of the journal. It fit perfectly. Now all he needed was some glue to paste it in…

His heart dropped at that. Taekwoon was in his office, and as far as he knew that was the only place where there was glue in the apartment. The thought of asking Taekwoon for glue made him really uncomfortable, though. Taekwoon would surely ask him why he needed the glue. And then he would find out he’d cut out his name from the page. And he really wasn’t sure if he was allowed to cut things at all, or if Taekwoon would approve of him cutting out the letters he’d written.

With an uneasy feeling in his stomach, Hongbin closed the journal and placed it in the drawer of his bedside table, before shoving the scissors up his sleeve again to sneak them back to the kitchen.

He only just managed to put them back in their place when Taekwoon entered the kitchen, too.

“Hey. Hungry?”

Hongbin wasn’t particularly hungry, breakfast hadn’t been that long ago, but he nodded anyway. He had to have a believable excuse why he was in the kitchen.

“A little.”

Taekwoon hummed, opening the fridge and giving the contents a once over.

“A little… Little but enough for a plate of leftovers or little so that a snack will do?”

Hongbin swallowed nervously.

“Just… a snack will do.”

Taekwoon closed the fridge again.

“Can you check if we still have enough of those crackers you like?” He motioned at the cabinet with the snacks, and Hongbin went to check. There was a considerable dent in the snack stock, and only one package of the crackers left. Taekwoon sighed.

“I’ll have to go shopping, we’re all out of everything. Any particular wishes for lunch and dinner?”

Hongbin shook his head. He loved all the food Taekwoon made, no exceptions. Then again, he loved all the food, period. He loved that there was food at all, and he didn’t agree with Taekwoon’s statement that they were out of everything. With the food they still had, Hongbin was sure he could make do for half a year if he had to.

“Ok. I’ll be heading out, then. Could you clear the counters in the meantime? I won’t be long, I think.”

Hongbin nodded, and Taekwoon stepped out of the kitchen, with Hongbin looking after him until he was out of the apartment. When Taekwoon asked him to do something, it wasn’t like he would say no at this point. Even if he hated it. Clearing the kitchen counters was not something he hated, though, and he went to work.

Only when he was done did he remember he could have used the time Taekwoon wasn’t here to see if he could find glue in his office. Taekwoon was still gone, but Hongbin didn’t dare go check now. What if Taekwoon came back while he was checking? Or while he was still busy pasting his name in the journal and then he couldn’t return the glue?

No, that was way too risky. Instead, he ambled through the apartment, always trying to read the letters he found everywhere and make sense of the words they formed. As long as the words were no longer than one or two syllables he could manage, as long they were written in a font where it was easy for him to recognize the letters, but there were so many that were way longer than that, and he kept tripping over them. Half the time, he’d already forgotten the beginning of the word by the time he reached the last letter, especially if he had to look up a letter in between. He sighed, giving up once again. He would never be good at reading, he was sure of it.

With nothing better to do, he went to the large windows of the living room and hid in the curtains to look outside. If he was standing really quiet with the floor-long drapes around him, he was sure no one would be able to see him, neither from outside nor from the inside. And so, he stood, motionless, observing the world outside. Cars flying by, people walking, a few dogs on leashes and once even a cat that hurried out of a hedge and up a nearby tree.

Hongbin sighed. He missed climbing things, too. Granted, the time when he’d done most of the climbing in his life had been a hard one, but which time of his life hadn’t been? Except from when he was very little and still in the labs, probably, and now. Still, climbing had been one of the more fun things he’d had to do while living on the streets. Climbing and running. He missed running, too. Not particularly running from enforcers, but running from angry shop owners, or rival clans, or even members of his own clan; those had been fun, in a way.

He sighed, his focus returning to the world below. Eventually, he recognized a car pulling up in the parking lot, and the man getting out of it. His stomach swooped, and he remained still, watching Taekwoon lug bags with groceries out of the car. There were a lot of groceries, the bags must be heavy, but Taekwoon carried them all at once. Hongbin was impressed as he watched him. Taekwoon was by no means weak, or so it seemed. Not that he’d ever thought he was, but…

Taekwoon entered the building and disappeared from Hongbin’s sight, and Hongbin’s attention was captured by a dog that dragged a leash behind itself as it ran after a cat. A human came running soon after, and the cat climbed the same tree the other cat had before. Just as the human caught their dog again, the cat that had climbed the tree first came darting out of it and back to the hedge. The dog jumped after it, dragging the human with it, but this time they held the leash harder, even if they had to run to keep up with the dog.

Hongbin watched in fascination, especially as the cat that had been chased first calmly climbed down the tree and walked away in the direction it had come from. He hoped the human would be able to convince their dog to stop chasing after the other cat, though. To the real cats, it must be like being chased by enforcers when a dog ran after them. He didn’t wish that on anyone.

He was so distracted that he forgot completely about Taekwoon until his keys jingled against the front door and it opened, letting a huffing and puffing Taekwoon in, laden with bags.

Hongbin froze for a moment, indecisive if he should stay where he was or come out before Taekwoon saw where he was. But then again, the whole point of hiding was not to be seen, right? And this was a good hiding spot. He wondered if Taekwoon would be able to find him there…

He stayed where he was while Taekwoon lugged the bags into the kitchen and started unpacking them.

The world outside kept distracting him, but this time not enough to forget about Taekwoon, and he always kept one ear on him, to see when he would come out of the kitchen.

It didn’t take too long, and the first time Taekwoon went through the living room he walked right past him. Hongbin held his breath, watching him through the fabric as he walked past and out of the room. He felt a sense of victory fluttering in his chest, but he stayed where he was, waiting to see if Taekwoon would return.

He did, plopping down on the couch and pulling his phone out to start tapping on it.

Hongbin breathed as quietly as possible, immobile, as he watched Taekwoon just idly sit, unaware that he was right there. It was a thrilling sensation, in a way.

Eventually, Taekwoon’s lips tugged into a soft smile while he looked at his phone, but it looked like he was trying to hide it.

“I found you, Hongbin.”

Hongbin gasped, surprised, and Taekwoon looked up from his phone and straight at the curtain he was hiding in. He opened the fold in front of his face just a little bit, enough to poke half his face through.

“How?” He couldn’t help but ask, wrapping the rest of the curtain tighter around himself.

Taekwoon nodded at a spot near Hongbin’s ankles.

“Your tail. The tip has been swishing against the curtain the whole time.”

Hongbin groaned. He hadn’t even noticed he was swishing the tip of his tail. He stepped out of the curtain, hesitating about what to do for a moment before sitting down on the floor right where he stood.

“Why were you hiding?” Taekwoon eventually asked, and Hongbin shrugged.

“I was just… looking out of the window… And then…” He trailed off.

“Decided to play hide and seek?”

Hongbin stiffened for a moment, then shrugged. It was true, kind of. Even if Taekwoon hadn’t been in on the game from the beginning.

Taekwoon smiled.

“Have you been there the whole time since I came back?”

Hongbin nodded.

“I totally didn’t see you when I must have walked right past you at first. It’s a good hiding spot.”

Hongbin felt a flutter in his chest again and lowered his head until he was looking at the floor next to his crossed feet.

“Want to help me make lunch?” Taekwoon eventually asked, and Hongbin looked up slightly, nodding, before getting up and trailing behind Taekwoon to the kitchen.

“Do you know how to cut vegetables?”

Hongbin’s heart jumped to his throat for a moment, before he swallowed it down again and shook his head.

“Ok, that’s fine. Want to learn?”

Did he have a choice? Not if he wanted to one day not have to admit to all the things he didn’t know how to do. He nodded.

Taekwoon hummed in approval, indicating him to get cutting boards and knives while he chose the vegetables and washed them. Hongbin was a little torn about that part. He knew how to wash vegetables, at least, and he could have done that instead. That way he might not have had to admit he didn’t know how to cut them. But on the other hand, he didn’t mind not having to get his hands wet.

“Alright, first of all, you should wash your hands before working with food. If that’s alright?”

So much for not having to get his hands wet… Hongbin winced, but went to the sink and washed his hands; not without flinching a couple of times when water splashed somewhere he didn’t want it to, namely further up his arms and even on his face once. But if Taekwoon wanted him to wash his hands before touching the food he would be eating, too, then that was only fair, he figured.

He watched intently when Taekwoon showed him how to peel and cut the vegetables, doing his best to do it the same way afterwards. He noticed way too late that he was using his left hand to guide the knife, becoming self-conscious for a moment. Then he noticed Taekwoon had been using his left hand, too. Taekwoon wouldn’t judge him for using his left hand when most people used their right hand, he had to remind himself.

Still, he was a little upset about how wonky some of the pieces he’d cut looked, compared to the neat and even chunks Taekwoon had cut.

“Hongbin, pass me the onion, please?” Taekwoon asked from where he was standing at the stove, and Hongbin complied quickly.

“And can you get a new bag of rice from the pantry?”

And so, it went on, Taekwoon cooking, mixing the ingredients, seasoning, keeping an eye on them, while he asked Hongbin for small tasks around the kitchen. It wasn’t much, and Taekwoon could tell Hongbin was enjoying himself. He loosened up considerably from his usual tense posture as he worked around Taekwoon, as if forgetting to be wary while he was busy.

They ate in the kitchen, Taekwoon at the table, Hongbin on the floor. Despite everything, Hongbin wasn’t ready to sit at the table, or even just a chair even when it wasn’t standing by the table.

“Have you been practicing reading?” Taekwoon asked while they were eating, and Hongbin nodded from where he was sitting.

“I have… Earlier.”

Taekwoon hummed in approval.

“Shall we practice a little more after eating?”

Hongbin didn’t mind agreeing to that, and they sat down around the coffee table after lunch, Hongbin getting out his sheets of paper with the letters as well as the remaining blank ones.

“Where’s the one Jaehwan drew for you? It’s neater than all these.” Taekwoon asked as he surveyed the pages in front of him, and Hongbin hesitated nervously, swallowing thickly. Taekwoon gave him a questioning look.

“I- I… It will-… It’s…”

Taekwoon waited patiently for Hongbin to catch himself so he was able to answer.

“It will… get damaged if I keep using it like these…” Hongbin muttered sadly, motioning at the admittedly a little worn-looking pages in front of them.

Taekwoon hummed in understanding.

“We could frame the pages Jaehwan drew for you, so they won’t get damaged. What do you think?”

Hongbin didn’t know what to say.

“Frame?”

“Hm. I’ll get you a sturdy frame you can put them in and then you can set them up wherever you want to practice and they won’t get damaged. If the frames get some scratches and dents eventually we can always get you new ones, but the pictures will still be like new.”

It sounded too good to be true, but Hongbin really didn’t want the drawings to get bent or crumpled, or worse: torn. And so, he nodded once, shyly.

“Ok.”

Taekwoon made a mental note to get frames for the drawings as soon as possible. Meanwhile, Hongbin arranged the pages with the letters Taekwoon had drawn so that all of them were visible on the table.

“Alright, then. Let’s see…” Taekwoon picked up an empty sheet, writing a few words on it before placing it in front of Hongbin.

Hongbin puffed slightly. They were two syllables each, but there were so many letters! He had no idea how to go about them, which came first, how to say them, until Taekwoon came to his aid, teaching him the correct order and how the sounds of the letters changed in combination with others. Hongbin paid close attention, but it was so much! Still, Taekwoon patiently wrote word after word, guiding him through them. Eventually, Hongbin sank into quiet mulling, staring at the words and repeating them in his head, time and time again, trying to remember the order and inflexions and changes in sound, all the while forgetting Taekwoon’s presence completely.

Taekwoon was aware of that change of focus in Hongbin, having witnessed it often enough over the past week or two, and quietly got up, leaving the room and Hongbin to his musings. It would take a while until Hongbin would become aware of his surroundings again.

In his office, he allowed himself to chuckle quietly. Hongbin was so adorable, he couldn’t help it. He’d only just barely managed not to squeal in delight at the cuteness when Hongbin had peeked out of the curtains earlier, so offended that Taekwoon had managed to find him. With every day that passed and he saw more and different sides of him, even it were just small glimpses, he felt so happy and grateful. He hadn’t expected this kind of progress so fast, and it made him hopeful for Hongbin. Maybe it wouldn’t take as long as he’d first thought until Hongbin would be able to find true happiness again.

*#*#*#*

Hongbin stood a little forlorn in the middle of the hallway after Taekwoon had left for work that morning. His chest felt heavy ever since Taekwoon had closed the door behind himself after leaving, and it wasn’t a comfortable feeling. He didn’t even know why he had that feeling in the first place.

He felt he should be grateful that Taekwoon would be gone for a couple of hours, giving him time to do a thing or another while he wasn’t there that he didn’t necessarily want him to know. Like getting the glue from his office and finally pasting his name into the journal.

Resolutely, he turned away from the front door and headed over to the door to Taekwoon’s office. He made it two steps inside before his feet refused to move any further and he had to stop, taking in the room around him.

It was a rather cluttered room, with shelves filled with folders and books and notes all the way up to the ceiling. He had no doubt there must be a system to all of this that helped Taekwoon navigate the space, but to him, it was simply overwhelming. The whole room was, and the desk in particular. It was covered in sheets of paper, colourful post-it’s dotting the pages and tacked onto nearly every surface surrounding the monitor that stood in the center of it all.

Hongbin could see the cups that held miscellaneous pens, pencils, rulers and other office material, but he didn’t dare get any closer to see if there was any glue among it all. What if he made something fall and things got out of order? Taekwoon would have extra work with it then, and he probably wouldn’t appreciate that.

No, he didn’t want to cause any trouble. It wasn’t worth it. Not for a bit of glue.

He his heels and darted out of the room, not stopping until he was in the kitchen.

The kitchen was ok, it was safe. He could be here, he wouldn’t cause a mess here. Taekwoon trusted him in here enough, so he could probably trust himself, too.

He sighed as he thought about Taekwoon. Why did he always have to leave so early? It wasn’t fair, they barely had had time to cook breakfast and lunch.

Hongbin pouted, giving the fridge a glare as if it was its fault that Taekwoon wouldn’t be coming home for lunch today and he had to eat alone. He didn’t feel like eating when Taekwoon wasn’t there during lunch. He liked eating when Taekwoon was eating, too.

Still with a displeased expression firmly in place, Hongbin started cleaning up the kitchen. His focus on putting everything away in the right spot and not overlooking a single speck of dirt in the whole place eventually managed to melt the frown from his face, and even succeed in making him hungry enough to go seek out something to eat around lunch time. He knew Taekwoon had left him a portion in the fridge, since he’d even showed him what exactly he had to do to get his food warm again before eating. Not that he could remember all the details on how to work the microwave, and would therefore not even try, but still.

What he didn’t expect was for there to be a note attached to the cover on the plate, and if the first few syllables weren’t very obviously his name, he wouldn’t have dared touched the plate once he found it in the fridge. As it was, though, the note not just gave him pause, but also made him curious. It took a while for him to decipher all the letters in Taekwoon’s handwriting, but once he’d figured out the message – ‘Eat well and enjoy!’- his stomach swooped pleasantly.

He peeled the note away from the cover carefully and kept it on the freshly cleaned counter while he ate, never letting it out of his sight. Once done eating, he made a bit of a show of picking up the bright neon green note and carrying it to his room, where he placed it neatly in the journal. Granted, the sticky end wasn’t as sticky as it could have been anymore because of the humidity in the fridge, but it still stuck to the page well enough.

He felt light, in a way, when he eventually returned to the living room to study his letters and try to decipher the words Taekwoon had left him on a sheet of paper to practice while he was gone. On that practice sheet was another one of the bright green notes, Hongbin found when he pulled that piece of paper out from under the table along with the letter drawings from Taekwoon.

It took him a moment to decipher the words, besides his name, on the post-it. ‘Good luck!’ they read, and Hongbin could almost hear Taekwoon say those words aloud to him. They certainly were motivating enough for him to give his best to read the other words Taekwoon had written for him to practice reading.

It only took so long before Hongbin couldn’t focus on the letters and words anymore, feeling utterly restless. He stowed the sheets of paper away again and started pacing in the living room to try and shake that restless feeling off. It didn’t help, and the pacing area grew to encompass the kitchen, then the hallway. Still, he continued restless, and he decided to include his room in the pacing space.

That was better, he thought, picking up speed as he walked through the rooms in a wobbly circle. Faster and faster did he walk his path, until he started running.

There wasn’t much room to run, the corners sharp and the floor at times slippery, so he had to be careful, but he enjoyed it. Running, just for the sake of it, barely missing door jambs, corners, furniture… Until he unbalanced and crashed into the one small side table in the hallway as he skidded out of the kitchen.

He saw it happen as if in slow motion as the vase tilted, yet his reflexes failed him and all he could do was stand and watch in horror as the vase fell and hit the floor, shattering into tiny pieces.

His heart was racing, both from the running and the shock of having destroyed Taekwoon’s vase, and he had to sit down, right then and there. He could feel his breathing quickening, but he fought to keep it under control. There was no imminent danger, Taekwoon would only come home tonight.

Still, he couldn’t just stay quiet, getting up again and getting a dustpan and broom to sweep the mess up. Also, a rag to mop up the water. He swallowed heavily as he picked up the flowers from in between the shards. They weren’t completely fresh anymore, but still pretty enough. They didn’t deserve to be thrown out yet, and they needed water, soon, if they were supposed to live a little longer.

Hongbin knew well enough where Taekwoon kept the vases and chose a new one, arranging the flowers in it neatly before returning them back to their place.

If Taekwoon didn’t pay a lot of attention when he came home, he might not even notice that it was a different vase holding the flowers… or so he hoped.

All his hope eventually dwindled as the day progressed and he convinced himself that Taekwoon would never be so blind as not to notice, and he felt like crap, guilt swapping with fear every other moment to take turns tormenting him as he quietly waited for Taekwoon to come home.

By the time Taekwoon actually came home, Hongbin was reduced to a nervous mess that had broken out in tears a couple of times as he waited, and Taekwoon couldn’t miss it, knowing something was wrong with one glance.

“Hongbin? You’ve been crying. What’s wrong?”

Hongbin didn’t deserve the concern in Taekwoon’s voice, and he felt guilty for putting it there. That and his fear because of what he’d done succeeded in bringing tears to his eyes yet again.

“Hongbin? Oh, hey, it’s ok, don’t cry, shhh…” Taekwoon tried to soothe the boy, kneeling down next to him. “Hey, hey, it’s ok. Calm down, Hongbin, please, breathe. It’s ok. Can you tell me what’s wrong? What happened?”

Hongbin hiccupped, but struggled to get a grip on himself. Literally, as he wrapped his arms around his legs, pulling them up, and holding on tightly.

“I-… I b-broke something.” He whispered, his whole body tensing.

Taekwoon had been expecting something like that.

“Ok. What did you break?”

Hongbin bit his lip, wanting to hide so bad, in as tiny a crevice as he could possibly fit in, and hopefully nothing else. Shakily, he pointed towards the hallway, though.

“T-the v-vase…” He choked out, and Taekwoon frowned. He got up to go out and check. And now that Hongbin had pointed it out, he could tell it was a different vase holding the flowers he’d put there in the hallway a few days ago, no longer his favourite. He bit his lip, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath. It had been his favourite vase, and to think it was broken now…

He needed some more deep breaths, reminding himself that it was just a vase. It wasn’t even very valuable, he just happened to like it quite a bit. But it was, at the end of the day, just a vase. And he was sure Hongbin hadn’t broken it on purpose or out of malice. He shouldn’t get angry at the boy for that. A vase was not something Hongbin deserved to be anguished over.

He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to not let it show too obviously that he was upset over the loss of that vase.

“I see… That vase. Did you get hurt while cleaning it up?”

Hongbin blinked hastily, unsure.

“N-no…”

Taekwoon took a deep breath.

“Ok. Good. How did that even happen?”

He could hear Hongbin’s audible swallow.

“I-… I bumped into t-the table.” Hongbin stuttered out.

“Bumped? How?”

Hongbin bit his lip, his nails digging into his calves as he held on to his legs.

“I was… running…”

Taekwoon couldn’t help the confusion.

“Running? Why? Did something scare you?”

Hongbin shook his head, slowly starting to rock back and forth where he sat.

“N-no… Just… running…” He answered slowly, his voice shaking, and Taekwoon figured he just had to accept that.

“Ok. You were running. That’s-… ok. Just… Try to be careful when you run next time, ok? So that neither you nor any more objects get hurt in the process.”

Hongbin stared at a point somewhere on his chest incredulously, and Taekwoon sighed, understanding Hongbin had been expecting punishment but not wanting to address it.

“I’ll go and start making dinner now. Come help me when you feel up for it?” It wasn’t so much a question as more of an invitation and peace offering, and Hongbin was quick to get up and follow him to the kitchen after he’d turned around.

“I-I’m sorry…” Hongbin offered as he stopped in the doorway to the kitchen, and Taekwoon hummed.

“It’s ok, you’re forgiven and I’m not mad. Just try not to break too many more things, please. Do you want to help?” He changed the topic, not wanting to dwell on spilled milk -or broken vases-too much longer.

Hongbin nodded, and Taekwoon indicated the rice cooker with the cucumber he was holding.

“Remember how it works? You can put the rice on.”

Hongbin did remember what Taekwoon had showed him and went to work. They worked mostly in silence together, only interrupted by Taekwoon giving Hongbin new tasks and the boiling of the food Taekwoon was cooking on the stove. The initial tenseness soon seeped out of the air around them, making it much more comfortable after a while, and by the time the food was done and Taekwoon had Hongbin carry his food over to the coffee table in the living room, it felt almost normal again between them.

Hongbin could barely believe his luck. He could tell Taekwoon was upset about the vase, and it made him feel terrible. But he didn’t seem mad at him. Still, he would do most everything to make amends for what he’d done, if only he knew how. For starters, he took it upon himself to bring his and Taekwoon’s empty plates back to the kitchen and clean up when they were done, but eventually Taekwoon called him back out.

“Hongbin? Have you been practicing reading today?”

Hongbin peeked out of the kitchen, nodding. Good thing he’d done that before he’d decided to run through the halls and disaster happened. Then again, maybe it’d been because of his extensive practicing that had left him with so much unspent energy that he’d started running in the first place, so technically, it was the practicing’s fault he’d broken the vase. He didn’t tell Taekwoon any of that, though.

“Show me?”

Hongbin returned to the place he usually sat on nowadays, pulling out the sheets of paper, and started showing Taekwoon he’d indeed been practicing and could read most of the words without trouble by now. Taekwoon looked visibly pleased when he finished.

“You are making a lot of progress. I wasn’t sure you would be able to read all of those, but you did a good job.”

Hongbin felt like Taekwoon’s words made him glow like a street lamp, and he hid his face between his hands.

“Thank you.” He whispered quietly, and Taekwoon chuckled.

“Since you’ve been working so hard, I brought you something. Hold on.” He got up, and Hongbin looked after him curiously. He returned soon after with a bag holding something rigid and rectangular, handing it to Hongbin.

Hongbin knew what it was before he’d properly peeked into the bag, gasping.

“Frames?”

Taekwoon nodded.

“For your pictures. Want to go get them so we can put them in?”

Hongbin didn’t have to be told twice, darting off. He came back much slower, though, having remembered he shouldn’t been running when he’d almost bumped into the side table in the hallway again. Also, he couldn’t damage the pictures Taekwoon’s friend had drawn for him. He handed them to Taekwoon reverently, and Taekwoon placed them in the frames carefully.

Hongbin couldn’t stop staring once the two sheets of paper were framed. It was like a new gift altogether.

Now he could use the pictures to help him while he learned, without fear of damaging them. It was wonderful.

“You’ll catch flies if you keep your mouth open like that.” Taekwoon chuckled eventually, and Hongbin snapped his mouth shut.

“Thank you, for the frames…” He thanked Taekwoon then, and Taekwoon waved it off.

“You’re welcome. How is it going with the numbers, by the way?”

Hongbin stared at the drawings with the numbers for a moment.

“I can read them.”

Taekwoon hummed pensively.

“Good. Add them, too?”

Hongbin looked at the numbers quizzically, and Taekwoon demonstrated. Hongbin didn’t even have time to be embarrassed that he didn’t know that yet, launching into trying for himself and succeeding quite quickly as he practiced with Taekwoon. Numbers were easier than letters, he decided. At least as long as they didn’t become more than he had fingers on his hands.

When Taekwoon eventually declared it was late enough to be heading to bed, Hongbin was quite satisfied. He’d pretty much forgotten that he’d broken a vase and the fear he’d gone through after that, and instead walked in a cloud of bliss as he took his framed pictured back to his room with him as he went to retire for the night.

He was content. Taekwoon had praised his counting and reading skills, and for the first time he felt like he deserved the praise.

He lay awake for a long time, though, staring at the ceiling as he burrowed himself into the blankets on his bed. He was tired, he guessed, but not tired enough to sleep. He felt so restless, once again… It was late at night before he finally fell asleep, and it wasn’t a very rejuvenating sleep, even if he overslept in the morning.

*#*#*#*

Days passed by, and eventually Taekwoon couldn’t help but notice something was different about Hongbin. He was so jittery, it was actually concerning.

“Hongbin, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Hongbin turned away from the window, seeing Taekwoon standing in the doorway to the living room.

“Yes?”

“I’ve been wondering… Is everything alright with you?”

Hongbin cocked his head in an inquisitive manner that was decidedly very cat-like, and Taekwoon had to mentally slap himself to keep from cooing out loud at it.

“I’m just wondering because… You seem restless. Tired but at the same time high strung. Is something wrong? Did something happen that I don’t know?”

Hongbin actually looked clueless, and Taekwoon believed that look, since so far Hongbin hadn’t been able to hide anything from him even if he wanted to… as far as he knew. He sighed, deciding to try a different approach.

“Ok, let me try another way. Have you been able to sleep well?”

That hit the nail on the head. Even though Hongbin kept his hair unruly enough to hide his ears for the most part, he could see them droop.

“Not really…” Hongbin confessed, and Taekwoon hummed in understanding.

“Why? Nightmares?” It was the most likely guess, so he was actually surprised when Hongbin shook his head.

“Just sometimes. I’m just… Tired, but not tired.”

Taekwoon blinked in confusion at that.

“How so?”

Hongbin shrugged.

“My head wants to sleep, but… my body doesn’t.”

Taekwoon exhaled deeply, pensively.

“Is that why you’ve been wanting to run so much lately?”

Even after the incident with the vase, Hongbin hadn’t stopped running around the house. He tried to do so silently when Taekwoon worked from home, but he still heard him sometimes. Just to be safe, Taekwoon had taken to removing everything that could possibly stand in the way of Hongbin’s usual running route down the hallway and through the kitchen and living room and moved it to safer spots.

Hongbin averted his gaze to the floor, looking contrite, but Taekwoon could see the tip of his tail swishing anxiously behind him.

“Maybe if I’m tired enough…” Hongbin started, breaking off mid-sentence, though.

“Hmm… There isn’t much room to run in here, though, is there?”

Hongbin inhaled sharply, tensing.

“It’s enough. And I’m tired enough now to go to sleep easily tonight.” He pressed out, and Taekwoon rose a questioning eyebrow.

“You are? Did you run today already?”

Hongbin shook his head.

“I didn’t sleep last night.”

Well, he definitely looked the part. He also looked noticeably uncomfortable, and Taekwoon let it go.

“Hm… Well, then you should definitely be tired enough to sleep well tonight…” he mused, and Hongbin nodded decidedly.

Taekwoon wasn’t at all convinced when he left the living room for his office, though.

He’d been texting Minhyuk about his worries with Hongbin, and the other had come up with a very plausible theory that explained Hongbin’s restlessness. One that he only saw confirmed once Taekwoon told him about his new findings with Hongbin. One that suggested Hongbin was simply bored and needed some fresh air and new room to move to get better.

The solution would have been to take Hongbin outside, just out of the apartment. Maybe to the nearby park or something similar. But as easy as that sounded, Taekwoon had his doubts that that would work. Not so much regarding Hongbin’s restlessness, but he doubted it would be easy to get Hongbin outside; or that the whole thing was a wise course of action.

*#*#*#*

Hongbin continued not sleeping well or much, and in turn spending his days semi-awake. As soon as he went to take a nap, sleep would elude him completely, though. It was a major set-back in his studies, since he couldn’t focus for longer than two minutes at a time, and that only added to Hongbin’s frustration, making him outright cranky.

A week had passed since Taekwoon had first decided to address his restlessness, and by now he decided he couldn’t just leave Hongbin to deal with it alone anymore.

He found him sitting in front of the window in the living room again, half hidden by the curtains hanging around him, knees pulled up to his chest while the tip of his tail swished from side to side restlessly. The rest of his body was perfectly still as he stared at the world outside.

Taekwoon made sure not to be too silent as he approached the window, too, standing next to Hongbin as he looked outside. He could tell Hongbin had heard him approach, but he still didn’t move away. He’d grown a lot more tolerant to having Taekwoon near him over the past weeks, through their study sessions and working together in the kitchen. He sometimes even came close enough to accidentally brush against Taekwoon while moving around, no longer avoiding him at all cost.

Taekwoon took a deep but quiet breath as he stood silently next to Hongbin for a while, exhaling slowly before he asked the question he felt he should have asked a while ago now.

“Do you want to go outside?”

Hongbin jumped where he sat, tensing immediately.

“W-why?” He stammered, looking slightly panicked.

Taekwoon tried to maintain an air of calm nonchalance.

“You’ve been looking out the windows a lot recently. Plus, your restlessness. I’ve been wondering if you’d like to go outside for a walk or something.”

Hongbin stared fearfully out of the window, but he no longer seemed to see the world outside.

“I-I don’t n-need to.”

Taekwoon hummed.

“But do you want to?”

Hongbin swallowed thickly, shaking his head.

“It’s… too dangerous.”

Taekwoon frowned.

“You wouldn’t have to go alone. I’d come with you.”

Hongbin wasn’t convinced, inhaling deeply.

“I c-can’t. You said so. T-the collar-…” He broke off.

Taekwoon sighed, sitting down on the floor next to him.

“Nothing would happen to you even with the collar as long as I’m with you out there. No one would come near you or do you any harm.”

Hongbin still shook his head, holding on tighter to his legs.

“It’s too dangerous…” He whispered again, and Taekwoon decided to drop the subject. At least for now. He hadn’t really expected Hongbin to accept, anyway.

*#*#*#*

While Taekwoon had been able to drop the subject, it never left Hongbin’s mind since Taekwoon had brought it up.

He still couldn’t sleep at night, and had started running through the apartment even at night, when Taekwoon was sleeping, in an attempt to exhaust himself enough for sleep, with next to no success.

He lay panting on the floor in the middle of his room, staring at the ceiling in the dark in the wee morning hours once again when the thoughts about outside returned.

He missed going outside, so much. He missed running, climbing, breathing the fresh air, chasing birds, jumping over puddles… He missed the crisp feeling of cold air on his face, all the noises coming from every direction…

What he didn’t miss was the constant fear of being caught whenever he stepped out of a hiding spot. He didn’t miss the crackling sounds of the intercoms enforcers used, and the feeling of their tasers grazing or hitting him, or tranq darts piercing his flesh out of nowhere. He didn’t miss having to look over his shoulder the whole time just to turn around and run face first into danger he had missed coming from a different angle.

Ok, so Taekwoon had reassured him nothing would happen to him as long as he was with him… But what if Taekwoon wasn’t with him? What if Taekwoon left him outside, to fend for himself? With a bloody tracking collar around his neck that made every hiding spot useless and was a death warrant if he was caught without Taekwoon? What if Taekwoon wanted to get rid of him by luring him outside? Or what if Taekwoon wasn’t planning anything malicious to him, but he was wrong and enforcers could come and get him even if he was with Taekwoon the whole time?

He didn’t want to risk it, going outside. He was safer staying in here and not putting a single toe past the front door threshold.

He was also going crazy in here, only ever seeing the same sights, smelling the same smells, hearing the same noises. Walking the same paths. Walking, because he couldn’t really run, there was just not enough room. He could at best take five quicker steps at a time before he had to slow down for a corner. His muscles even started to hurt from wanting to run so bad, but being unable to. And he still wasn’t getting proper sleep, either.

*#*#*#*

Taekwoon didn’t mention going outside again, but after a few days, Hongbin approached the subject again while they were cooking dinner.

“Are you sure no one else can do anything to me while you’re with me if we were to go outside?” He asked out of the blue, surprising Taekwoon.

“Wha- Uh… Yes. Yes, I’m sure. I’m even registered as your- the person responsible for you. As long as you’re with me and not causing any trouble, there is no way anyone can touch you.”

Hongbin bit his lip.

“Trouble?” He didn’t like the way that sounded. All his life he’d tried staying out of trouble, and all the time someone told him he’d done something that was considered causing trouble and punished him for it. Even looking in the wrong direction or at the wrong thing was considered trouble half the time.

Taekwoon hummed calmly, though.

“Hmm. Like attacking someone or breaking other people’s things. That kind of trouble.”

Hongbin grimaced.

“I wouldn’t attack someone… if they didn’t attack me first.”

“I know. It’s why I think there won’t be a problem if you went outside with me. While I’m with you, no one will attack you, I’m sure of it.”

Hongbin chewed on his lips, pensive, while they finished cooking.

*#*#*#*

“If we went outside… Would I be able to run?”

Taekwoon looked up from the sheet music in front of him, turning around to see Hongbin standing in the door to his office.

“Sure. There is a big park nearby, there is plenty of space to run there.”

“And… It’s ok for me to run there?”

Taekwoon nodded.

“I’ve been there with Sungjae before for him to run and play. You just have to make sure not to run over other people there.”

Hongbin bit his lip nervously. It was red and swollen and chapped already from the abuse Hongbin had put it through over the past couple of days.

“Are there a lot of people in the park?”

Taekwoon shrugged.

“Depends on the day, and the time, and the weather.”

That made sense.

“When are there the least people?”

Taekwoon smiled indulgingly.

“Weekdays in the morning, when it’s windy or overcast and cold or raining.”

Hongbin flinched.

“I hate rain…” He muttered quietly, leaving Taekwoon alone again.

*#*#*#*

It wasn’t even really day yet, but Hongbin was already sitting in front of the window, staring outside as Taekwoon got ready to leave for work.

His questions about the details of what going outside entailed had been nearly incessant over the past few days, and Taekwoon could see a trend forming.

The first thing he did upon arriving at the company was heading to the basement, where the practice rooms were, hoping to find Hakyeon there. It wasn’t often that happened; most of the time there was no need to, since Hakyeon always sought him out first.

He ignored everyone he met on the way there, humans and hybrids, seeking out Hakyeon’s room.

Hakyeon was stretching when he arrived, music blaring obnoxiously loud from the speakers all around the room; it was how he’d found him in the first place.

“Hakyeon…”

How Hakyeon could hear him over the noise, he had no idea, but his head snapped up immediately and he jogged over to the sound system and turned the music off before running back over and jumping on Taekwoon for a hug.

“Aww, you’ve come visit me! That’s so sweet!”

Taekwoon groaned as Hakyeon’s weight barreled into him and he had to catch him so they wouldn’t both fall.

“I already regret it.”

Hakyeon hit his shoulder, laughing.

“You’re so mean! Anyway, what do you need?”

Taekwoon blinked.

“Who said I need anything?”

Hakyeon snorted.

“A Taekwoon doesn’t break his routine to come down here and see me unless the Taekwoon needs something! So, what is it?”

Taekwoon flinched. Hakyeon was right. And it wasn’t right of him to keep that practice up. But since Hakyeon had already figured him out…

“I need your help… with Hongbin.” He relented, setting Hakyeon down on his own two feet again.

Hakyeon arched an eyebrow at him.

“How so?”

Taekwoon sighed.

“I’ve mentioned the possibility to go outside with him. He doesn’t seem all that opposed to the idea anymore; at least not as much as in the beginning. But, it’s risky, and even if he eventually agrees to come out once, I don’t know if he’ll be up for it another time, and I’ve been thinking… I don’t even have proper shoes and outside gear for him, and it’s too cold for him to go out with what he has, but I… I don’t want to buy a whole outside gear for him when it’s highly likely that he’s only ever going to use it once and then never again, especially now that I’ve been saving up for that lunatic plan you and Jaehwan have concocted…”

Hakyeon laughed, slinging an arm around Taekwoon’s shoulders.

“First of all, it’s Jaehwan’s lunatic plan-…”

“You’ve made enough changes to it to make it your lunatic plan, too.”

“-Second of all, it’s not even that lunatic anymore-”

“Lunatic enough, if you ask me. And everyone else who knows any details.”

“Shut up. It’s a good plan. You wouldn’t be helping if you didn’t think so. Now, I guess what you want to get at is that you need my clothes for Hongbin?”

Taekwoon blinked, surprised Hakyeon had caught on so quickly.

“Uh… Kind of? You are roughly the same size…”

“Give me a ride home after work and I’ll see what I have for him.”

Taekwoon gaped.

“Are you serious?”

“Come on, don’t act surprised. You wouldn’t have come to ask me if you didn’t expect me to agree to help you out.”

True. Taekwoon smiled.

“Thank you.”

*#*#*#*

Taekwoon had lugged the clothes Hakyeon had lent him into his room, storing them away there for the time being without Hongbin knowing about them.

Hongbin was once again fidgety as they were preparing dinner, and Taekwoon noticed for the first time how he didn’t seem to be too concerned about hiding his tail from him anymore, since the long, furry appendage kept swishing around him at seemingly all times while Hongbin moved from one end of the room to the other, twitching restlessly as Hongbin worked.

It was when they were sitting down around the living room coffee table to eat that Hongbin eventually blurted out.

“Can we try going outside?”

Taekwoon hummed, nodding, since he’d already seen that coming. Not quite that soon, but still.

“Really?!”

Taekwoon nodded again.

“Sure. When do you want to go?”

Hongbin swallowed heavily.

“When it’s not raining but there aren’t many other people out.”

Taekwoon nodded pensively, pulling his phone out to check the weather the next few days.

“It’s supposed to be windy tomorrow morning, but no rain…”

Hongbin’s eyes widened.

“Tomorrow?” His voice failed him so that it was barely more than a whisper.

Taekwoon shrugged calmly.

“We don’t have to go tomorrow. Friday is also overcast and cold, but no rain.”

Hongbin didn’t know exactly how many days Friday was from today, but he was sure it was too many, and he’d go back on his resolution until then.

“Can we go tomorrow?” He wanted to ask confidently, though it sounded anything but to his own ears. Taekwoon nodded again, though.

“Sure. If you want to.”

*#*#*#*

Hongbin felt slightly sick as he lay awake again that night, his blankets wrapped tightly around himself.

Tomorrow.

That was awfully soon.

Awfully soon, and still so long to go, he feared he might chicken out before the time came.

He was scared of going outside, he had no problem admitting that to himself. Terrified, even. It was so dangerous outside, he’d learned that the hard way. And despite all of Taekwoon’s reassurances, he couldn’t help but remember what he’d learned during his times when he’d lived outside, had called the streets his home and been running from everyone who’d wanted to catch him and force him into another so called home that he didn’t want. And what he remembered still terrified him.

But he wanted to go back outside. With Taekwoon. He wanted to trust Taekwoon that nothing bad would happen. He wanted to see for himself that nothing bad would happen as long as Taekwoon was there with him. And yet, he felt nauseous, the whole time until he fell into a restless sleep that didn’t seem to last more than the time it took for his eyes to fall shut before he woke up again due to the noises Taekwoon was making in the kitchen.

He got up and moved to the kitchen to help Taekwoon with breakfast. He didn’t think it was any different than any other day he helped Taekwoon prepare meals, but apparently it was, since Taekwoon paused eventually to ask him if he was ok.

“Y-yeah?” He croaked out, and Taekwoon sighed softly.

“You don’t look and sound ok… You’re scared about going outside, aren’t you?”

Hongbin’s hands shook so hard that he put the knife and bell pepper he was cutting down on the counter and took a few steps back.

“A little.” He admitted. There was no point hiding it from Taekwoon if he saw right through him anyway.

Taekwoon hummed understandingly.

“You know you can always decide to go another day, right? No one is forcing you to go out. It’s all up to you.”

Hongbin shook his head rapidly.

“I want to go out!” His voice was too loud now, and he knew it. Taekwoon kept mustering him for a moment longer before shrugging.

“Ok. You make the calls. Can you pass me the eggs, please?”

Hongbin passed the carton with still slightly shaking hands, before going back to his bell pepper.

Breakfast in itself was a silent affair, and Hongbin barely ate anything at all. Taekwoon chose not to comment on it.

“I borrowed some outside clothes for you from Hakyeon. It’s too cold to go outside without warm clothes and shoes. Let’s see if they fit?” Taekwoon remarked when Hongbin was finishing putting away the leftovers he hadn’t eaten.

Hongbin’s rigid posture relaxed a bit.

He hadn’t thought about that at all, since he’d been forced to be outside in the winter without exactly warm clothes before and he’d survived it, too. But apparently, he didn’t need to worry about everything himself, because Taekwoon was always a step ahead. That more than anything reassured him, and he followed Taekwoon to the hallway in front of his room while Taekwoon went to get the clothes.

“Here’s a jacket. I think that one should probably fit best. Want to try it on?”

Hongbin took the jacket from Taekwoon’s hands wordlessly.

It smelled nice, was the first thing he thought. It was the same smell that sometimes clung to Taekwoon when he came back home, but it was very different from Taekwoon’s smell. He liked Taekwoon’s smell better, but this one wasn’t bad, either.

Nor was the jacket, he decided once he’d put it on. It was warm. And long; it went all the way down to his knees.

“It’s a little big on you, isn’t it?” Taekwoon pondered, and Hongbin shook his head.

“It’s ok. It’s warm.”

Taekwoon smiled.

“Well, that’s the most important, isn’t it? Now, shoes. Ah, I think Hakyeon’s feet are bigger than yours…”

They were, but not too much. Taekwoon’s feet were way bigger than his. Hakyeon’s just a little. And when he pulled the strings on the boots really tight, they didn’t feel that big anymore.

Still, once he was all dressed, the jacket zipped up, boots on, scarf wrapped around his neck and a beanie covering his head, pulled tightly over his ears and all the way down to his eyes, he felt somehow confined. And he was getting really warm…

Taekwoon dressed up way quicker than he had, opening the front door.

“Ready?” Taekwoon asked, and it took Hongbin a while to be able to nod.

Taekwoon was the first to step out into the hallway of the building, and Hongbin hesitated to follow him. He hadn’t expected for it to be this hard.

His heart was beating all the way up in his throat, blood rushing in his ears as he locked his gaze on Taekwoon and finally took a step out of the door, following Taekwoon. Everything would be alright if he just followed Taekwoon.