For at least the twentieth time, Taekwoon let his head thump onto the surface of his desk, no longer bothering to stifle a groan. He’d known before that he would get nothing done at work today, and he’d been right. All he could think of was Hongbin, but no matter how long and how much he thought about him, he couldn’t think of a solution for their current situation.

When he’d woken up that morning and went to knock on Hongbin’s door, the hybrid had told him no once again, and as much as it pained him to be turned away again he respected his wish. He’d left him breakfast in the kitchen and had left for work. He might as well have called in sick, since that was how he felt and his productivity was non-existent anyway.

Slowly, the hands of the clock moved towards the spots that indicated his lunch time was about to start, and another wave of dread washed over him. He should go home, but contrary to the days before, he found it was the last thing he wanted to do. He doubted Hongbin would welcome him suddenly, and he could do without it being rubbed in yet again that he was a horrible person who had hurt the hybrid somehow despite promising not to.

Since he’d skipped breakfast, his stomach was adamant he finally got it some food, and he decided to drag himself to the cafeteria. Curious eyes followed him as he lined up to get himself lunch, given that he’d become a fairly rare guest lately. He ignored the eyes on him as usual, nothing having changed about that talent of his as he searched for an empty table and sat down to poke listlessly at his food without much appetite despite his grumbling stomach.

He jumped slightly when someone set down a tray in front of his own, flopping into the respective chair with a grace that should be impossible.

“Hi, Taekwoonie!” Hakyeon chirped happily, frowning when he got no answer.

“Yah, what is up with you tod- Taekwoon, what happened to your hand?!” Hakyeon interrupted his original question as soon as he saw a flash of the bandage around his hand, and Taekwoon cursed mentally, quickly hiding his hand under the table.

“Taekwoon! I saw that! What happened?!”

Taekwoon sighed in defeat, shrugging.

“Hongbin bit me.”

Hakyeon nearly jumped out off his chair.

“He what?!” He yelled, attracting the attention of several colleagues from the tables around them.

Taekwoon gave his best friend a murderous glare, which was expertly ignored.

“He bit me… But it’s not his fault!” Taekwoon muttered, glancing up to his side where Sungjae was approaching to sit down with a friend of his in tow, a fox hybrid named Minhyuk that had joined them on several group outings outside the company before.

He wasn’t quite seated yet when Sungjae confirmed he’d heard Taekwoon’s words already from across the aisle.

“Hongbin bit you? Why?”

Taekwoon sighed, resting his head in his uninjured hand while still hiding the other from the curious glances of the others.

“I don’t know. I must have done something that upset him, but I don’t know what, and he won’t talk to me…”

He felt more than saw the curious looks the others were giving him, but to him they felt more judging than curious.

“How did it happen? What were you doing when he bit you?” Sungjae probed, and Taekwoon lifted his head off his hand, sitting up straighter but still not lifting his gaze from his barely touched plate.

“Actually, everything was going just fine. I’d helped him wash his hair and we were sitting in the living room, brushing his hair. It was still really matted, since he hadn’t been able to wash and tend to it properly on his own so far. He… Anyway, I was sure I’d managed to untangle it all already, Hongbin didn’t seem scare or anything anymore, he was even purring, when he suddenly turned around, bit me and ran away. He’s shut himself in in his room and won’t talk to me. I… I don’t know what I did, if there was still a tangle that I’d missed and accidentally pulled on too harshly that startled him, or… I don’t know, really…”

For a moment, silence reigned between them, until Minhyuk cleared his throat quietly.

“Honestly… I don’t think it was your fault…” 

Taekwoon frowned at him.

“How so? He wouldn’t just bite me for no reason! I don’t think he’s even that scared of me anymore so he would just bite me in defense all of a sudden. He’d made a lot of progress already, he even helped me in the kitchen yesterday, he trusted me to help him wash his hair despite being scared I’d drown him, he let me sit behind him where he couldn’t see what I was doing…!” He finished with a gesture of his hand, indicating there was more he wouldn’t list now, but Minhyuk exchanged a meaningful look with Sungjae, and the youngest fidgeted a little in his seat.

“Well, that is without a doubt great, but still. There’s something… you might not know…”

Taekwoon frowned.

“And what would that be?”

Sighing, Sungjae, rubbed at the nape of his neck.

“Well, you’re probably used to it from me since I do it all the time, but… For most cat hybrids, purring is strictly taboo. It’s like, the biggest no-no. It’s sad, because it’s part of our nature and comes naturally when we are content and feeling really good, and it’s hard to hold it back when we do, but for some of us it’s… It’s like a trigger.”

Taekwoon stared at him in confusion, his mind focusing on two things at the same time: Hongbin must have felt really good to be purring back then, which made him happy, and at the same time, he could have been triggered by his own purring; for what reason, he dreaded to know, but asked anyway.

“W-why is it taboo?”

Sungjae averted his gaze, holding his breath as he gave Minhyuk a quick glance to tell him to answer in his stead.

Minhyuk took a quick, deep breath before he did.

“Purring is what makes cat hybrids especially attractive for the mafia…”

Taekwoon paled, his heart sinking quickly, while a shocked gasp could be heard from Hakyeon. Both of them stared at Minhyuk with incredulity and dread, and the fox hybrid averted his gaze to his plate.

“So you mean… Hongbin has been in the hands of the mafia before?”

Minhyuk shook his head quietly.

“It’s possible. At least he knows about it, and about the purring… So, when he caught himself purring as you were brushing his hair, he was probably either startled by his own actions, that he’d allowed himself to do that, and bit you accidentally, or… or he bit you on purpose to distract you from the fact that he’d been purring in fear you’d use it against him in some way.”

If it was possible, Taekwoon’s heart sank even further, pained because of Hongbin’s possible reasons that had led him to bite him.

“I would never use that against him…!”

Sungjae finally looked up again, meeting Taekwoon’s gaze.

“We all know that, hyung, but Hongbin doesn’t. You said he was afraid you’d drown him, but he let you help wash his hair anyway, which shows he’s starting to trust you at least somewhat. But then he bit you after he started purring… He must have been really scared. He knows his status is Feral, and still… He’s more scared about what you could do to him because of his purring than inevitable death should you turn him in for biting you…”

“Sungjae’s right… Come to think of it, his reaction does point towards him having been in mafia hands at some point…” Minhyuk agreed, but Taekwoon could only shake his head, not wanting to believe him.

“Please tell me that’s not true… Not the mafia…” His voice cracked, failing him.

Minhyuk sat up a little straighter, his expression sympathetic but determined.

“Well, it could be, and if that’s the case you should be aware of it so you know how to deal with it, know what you should avoid, what to keep in mind, when you interact with him; for both your sakes.”

It made sense, and Taekwoon slumped a little further into his chair.

“How do I know if he’s really been held by the mafia before? I doubt he would tell me just like that…”

Minhyuk nodded slowly.

“I doubt it, too. I’ve worked with lots of hybrids who’ve been sold by the mafia, and from what I’ve learned… It’s never easy for them to talk about it at first, or even just admit it was the mafia that caused their trauma. You should definitely try to talk about it with him, though, the sooner, the better. But, until he tells you, there are some pretty much fail-safe indicators that are so ingrained in those who’ve gone through it they are hard to hide even years later.”

“Like what?”

Minhyuk took a deep breath as he thought for a moment.

“Like… Does Hongbin have a bed?”

Taekwoon nodded.

“Of course.”

“What size?”

“Standard double bed…”

One of Minhyuk’s eyebrows rose slightly.

“Does he use it?”

Taekwoon flinched, shaking his head.

“He tries to pretend the bed doesn’t exist.”

“Have you asked him why he doesn’t use the bed?”

He nodded slowly.

“Yes, once… He answered because he was dirty. It was before he accepted the new clothes and started washing himself, and I got him darker sheets in hopes he would feel more comfortable with those, but even now he still ignores the bed and sleeps on the floor.”

The knowing look the two hybrids at the table exchanged unnerved Taekwoon.

“Does he use any furniture at all?” Minhyuk continued to ask, and again Taekwoon had to deny it.

“Not really… He insists to either stand or sit or lay on the floor.”

Minhyuk shook his head sadly, poking at his cooling food in front of him before he asked another question.

“What about… his cat features? And habits? Other than purring, of course. Does he hide them?”

Taekwoon could already tell it couldn’t be a good thing, hanging his head.

“Yes... I’ve rarely ever seen his tail, he’s so good at hiding it. His ears, too. And the only cat-like thing he’s voluntarily shown me so far is hissing and growling.”

Minhyuk nodded grimly, then sighed.

“As much as it pains me to say this, but if he hasn’t been in the clutches of the mafia before, he at least must have had owners that were just as bad at some point.”

Taekwoon had already expected that, dreaded it, but his heart sank even further, aching for the boy like never before as a potent helplessness overcame him.

He swallowed heavily, giving Minhyuk a pleading look.

“What should I do?”

Minhyuk shook his head dejectedly.

“It’s not like there are any universal guidelines, since everyone is different, but… I’d say investing time is key. You need to spend as much time as possible with him, for him to get to know you, and you him. Like, do as much work as possible from home. You’ll need more than just a few hours a day to get to know each other, and he’ll only get used to having you around if you are actually there. It won’t be easy, for both of you, but it’s necessary. If fact, you should head home right now and talk to him. Make him talk to you, even if he doesn’t want to right now, because he’s most likely scared out of his mind and beating himself up, and it’s up to you to clarify where you stand, because he won’t be the one coming forward.

“Other than that… remove that big bed out of his room first and foremost, and get him a single one; he’ll be far more likely to accept a small bed that only fits one person than a big one, if ever. Oh, and I don’t know how you’re handling that part, but if you haven’t already, you should give him chores to do. Get him to become an active member of your household. Don’t put him in a golden cage where you cater to every single of his wishes, but let him do stuff for and by himself.”

Taekwoon listened closely, but frowned at the end.

“I didn’t get him out of that hellhole to put him to work for me…” He protested, but Minhyuk shook his head decidedly.

“That’s not what I meant. What I mean is that you should split your chores with him. What feels like pesky everyday work for you, because you’re used to it and its inevitability, will make him feel like a valid member of your household. As long as you keep him pampered and sheltered without any apparent purpose, he’ll keep wondering what the hell you plan to do with him.”

Taekwoon’s eyes widened, remembering all the times Hongbin had asked him that exact question. Minhyuk must have interpreted his expression right, for he carried on.

“When you give him chores to do that you do yourself -like, I don’t know, unloading the dishwasher, folding laundry, sweeping the hallway; stuff like that- it’ll make him feel more and more equal to you over time. Not to mention that keeping him busy will keep him from overthinking.”

Taekwoon nodded slowly, Minhyuk’s words making sense to him. He had a feeling Hongbin tended to overthink a lot, which wasn’t exactly helpful to either of them.

After a short pause in which he tried his now almost cold food and scowling at it, Minhyuk picked up again.

“Another thing you should keep in mind is that he is not human; he’s more, and you have to learn to understand the cat part of him as well, his instincts, and learn to work with them. There are a lot of ways in which his mind works differently than a humans’, simpler. Find out if he’s susceptible to praise, for example, and make sure to praise him when he does something well. That being said, don’t hesitate to let him know when he messes up, either. He’ll eventually start testing his boundaries, and you need to show him where they are clearly. It doesn’t mean you should punish him!” He added quickly when Taekwoon’s expression soured at his words. Taekwoon’s features relaxed once again.

“Just talk to him when he does something you’re not ok with, the same way you would with a human roommate. You’ll probably have to do it more often than with a human, though. And should you have to resort to punishments, since he’s a cat hybrid, you’ll find that something as simple as showing your disappointment and ignoring him for a while will be more than enough.”

Next to Taekwoon, Sungjae groaned, hiding his face in his arms and attracting Taekwoon’s attention.

“That is honestly so mean. We, as the cats, should be the ones with the privilege to punish others by ignoring them, not the other way around! I hate when y’all do that!”

Minhyuk chuckled, his rust coloured ears with the black tips twitching in amusement.

“You are so easy to beat with your own weapons…”

Sungjae glared at him from between his fingers, growling lowly.

“Shut it, foxy, or I might let slip how much it rails you up when someone merely touches one of your-” He didn’t get further, Minhyuk jumping up and reaching over the table to press his hand over Sungjae’s mouth, shutting him up.

“Don’t you dare… Kitten!”

Sungjae’s eyes twinkled mischievously at Minhyuk over his hand, and a second later the fox hybrid leapt back with a choked, outraged cry, wiping his hand hastily on his pants.

“You are disgusting! How dare you!”

Sungjae grinned at him, sipping on his drink, unbothered, while Taekwoon and Hakyeon watched the exchange with mild amusement. Minhyuk was offended, setting out to ignore Sungjae as he turned back to Taekwoon, much to the cat hybrid’s immediate chagrin.

“Anyway, where was I? Ah, right. Well, basically, just talk to him, treat him like you would a human roommate, but don’t forget he’s part cat and learn to understand that side of his. And how to respond accordingly to it. In some aspects, you’ll have to address more of the animal side in him than the human side.

“In most situations, you’ll have to seek the confrontation to solve problems, or they won’t be solved at all. Even when something was clearly an accident, talk about it. Don’t ignore it. It’ll only make him anxious not knowing where you stand, but it’s highly unlikely he will address it first and he’ll most likely try to avoid talking about it. In those cases you’ll have to insist, for his own sake. Especially now in the beginning, you’ll have to push him out of his comfort zone a lot, or else he’ll hide in it forever and never open up. He won’t try things he isn’t sure about on his own if he doesn’t absolutely have to, it’s up to you to guide him out and resocialize him, sometimes against his protests. It will be the best for him in the long run, while swaddling him in layers of cotton won’t do anyone any good, least of all him.”

Taekwoon flinched at the task awaiting him, not being big on confrontation himself, while Minhyuk eventually gave up on his now cold lunch and started to leave.

“Well, I should go back to my office. I have at least five appointments this afternoon, and I think not a single day has passed where I didn’t have at least two emergencies. It will be busy for sure! Good luck, hyung. When you manage to get Hongbin out of the house eventually, I’d love to talk to him sometime. See you around!” He left with a small wave, and the three remaining at the table looked after him pensively.

“What does Minhyuk work as again, exactly?” Hakyeon piped up a little while after the fox hybrid had left.

“He’s the resident trauma psychologist for hybrids. His office is in the B building, seventh floor, the twin office to Eunkwang-hyung’s in this building.”

Hakyeon’s eyes widened slightly.

“Wow… I didn’t know he had a degree!”

Sungjae shook his head.

“He doesn’t. He never graduated, since he got found out and exposed just before his graduation, but his experience and knowledge make up for it. Everyone trusts him.”

“I didn’t even know we had our own trauma psychologist for hybrids in this company…” Taekwoon added quietly, and Sungjae huffed lightly.

“It makes sense, though. Over half of our hybrid colleagues have had to deal with the machinations of the mafia alone before, in some way, never mind other menaces. They can really use the help.”

“Holy …” Hakyeon expressed Taekwoon’s thoughts exactly, and a moment of silence passed as they let that sink in while focusing on their now cold food, Hakyeon being the first to give up with a sigh.

“I should go back, too. Our little ones have their debut stage soon and they’ll want to go over the choreography a couple more times. I’ll see you later!” He left, too, leaving Taekwoon and Sungjae alone at the table. Taekwoon wasn’t in any rush to go anywhere, knowing getting work done was out of question, and dreading going home. Sungjae simply had nowhere to be.

“Hyung… what are you planning to do?” The cat hybrid asked eventually, as the crowd in the cafeteria began to thin more and more. Taekwoon sighed.

“I don’t know…”

“You should follow Minhyuk-hyung’s advice, hyung. Go home and talk to Hongbin.”

Taekwoon sighed again, his head drooping.

“It’s not that easy. I don’t know… how. You see, I gave Hongbin his own room, which I want to be for him alone, his safe zone. He is only slowly getting used to having such a space, and it would be wrong of me to disrespect that now and come in when he’s clearly telling me to stay out… I don’t want to break what little trust he’s build in me like that.”

Sungjae nodded pensively.

“You should talk to him anyway, though. Don’t go inside his room, but call him out of it. I’m sure he will come eventually if you just make sure to let him know you won’t hurt him, but it’s important for you to talk.”

Taekwoon gave him a doubtful look, but Sungjae answered him with a soft, encouraging smile.

“He will come out, even if it might be to keep you from coming inside his room and things getting worse at first. But I’m sure you’ll be able to get through to him eventually.”

Taekwoon sighed deeply.

“You’re probably right.”

“Of course I am! And so is Minhyuk. You should really go home now, and stay there. The rest of the week, at least. I know you are out of the clocking system to come and go and stay away as you please until the situation with Hongbin is better. Make use of it for once, hyung. We can handle the rest of the stress with Seesun until their debut alone, and if we do need you we’ll give you a call.”

Taekwoon smiled weakly at Sungjae.

“Ok… I’ll go home, and think about it. You promise you’ll call if you need me? I want their debut to be as perfect as possible!”

Sungjae laughed quietly at that.

“Of course, hyung. We all want that! But you worry about Hongbin for now and focus on him.”

Taekwoon grimaced slightly and pushed his chair back, ready to put away his tray and go home; or as ready as he would ever be. Sungjae gave him an encouraging smile as he, too, got up.

“Good luck, hyung. I know you’ll do well.”

Taekwoon wished he could have the same confidence in himself as Sungjae had.

*#*#*#*

Taekwoon paused in front of his apartment’s door, staring at the sturdy wooden surface unseeingly for a while, motionless. He stood so rigid that eventually, the motion activated lights in the hallway went out, leaving him in the dark. That finally shook him out of his thoughts, bringing movement into him again and the lights back on. It took him a while of fiddling with his keys, stalling just that little bit longer, before he managed to wedge the right key in the lock and let himself in.

Total silence answered him from inside the apartment, but he was used to that; Hongbin wasn’t exactly known to be noisy.

Taekwoon didn’t bother hiding his presence, letting the front door fall shut behind him, kicking his shoes off and hanging his coat up like usual. He had nothing else to do to stall, though, since his one reason to come home was precisely to talk to Hongbin. Still, as he passed by the kitchen, he decided to get himself a cup of water first, just to find the tray with breakfast he’d left for Hongbin untouched on the counter.

A frown formed on his face, and just to make sure, he opened the fridge and cabinets with snacks; nothing had been moved, everything looked exactly the same as he’d left it in the morning.

Quickly, he chugged his water and set the glass down before leaving the kitchen through the living room. Long strides brought him to Hongbin’s door quickly, and he didn’t hesitate to knock on it this time. He wasn’t sure if he’d heard the whimper or imagined it, but he knocked again, just to get no answer at all this time around. His brow creased in worry.

“Hongbin? You know if you don’t answer me I’ll come in and check if you’re ok, right?”

A sound that was definitely a whimper, followed by a choked ‘Don’t!’ answered Taekwoon, and he deflated visibly, resting his palm flat against the door as he resisted the urge to open it and come inside anyway.

“Alright, I won’t come in. But I do need to talk to you, urgently, so I would appreciate it if you came out for that on your own. I’m not here to hurt you, I just need to talk to you.”

He got no answer, and sighed quietly.

“I’ll be waiting, Hongbin.” He announced before stepping away from the door, returning to the front of the apartment. He felt horrible, feeling like he’d been too harsh, but it couldn’t be helped if he wanted to resolve their current conflict; at least not according to Minhyuk and Sungjae, and they would know what was the right thing to do.

Frustrated and with a heavy heart, he went and flopped down on the couch, turning on the TV on a random channel to help distract himself. He didn’t expect Hongbin to come out any time soon, doubting he would at all, actually.

Whatever he’d on TV did a poor job distracting him, and his eyes kept flitting over to the door, hoping to find Hongbin there. Still, what felt like hours passed, and there was still no sign of Hongbin.

With a wistful sigh, Taekwoon eventually got up and went to the kitchen to make himself a coffee. If Hongbin didn’t come out soon, he would have to call out for him again; and if that didn’t work, breach the sanctity of his room to talk to him there. He felt sick at the thought, knowing that could easily destroy what little trust Hongbin had managed to put in him so far.

He drank his coffee black, not bothering to dilute or sweeten it with milk or creamer or sugar. It was only right to endure the bitter taste, a little form of self-punishment to compensate for what he was putting Hongbin through. Aside from that, like this it brought more life into his bones than when he drank it sweet.

All too soon his mug was empty, though, and he put it back down. He would have to go call out for Hongbin again now…

Sighing, he turned to the living room to switch off the TV. It wasn’t helping, anyway.

A quiet gasp to his left startled him as he was reaching for the remote, and his eyes widened in surprise as he found Hongbin there. The boy was shaking badly, standing only a feet steps away from the door in the center of the room. As soon as Taekwoon’s eyes landed on him, his legs gave in and he sank to his knees, bending over and curling in on himself until his head touched the floor, his arms wrapping around it protectively.

“Hongbin…” Taekwoon breathed in surprise, taking a few quick steps towards him before he stopped abruptly, noticing how much the boy’s shaking worsened with every step he took. He bit his lip in apprehension, wanting nothing more than to comfort the boy, but also remembering all too well that they had something to resolve first. He took a deep breath, trying to relax his stance before he spoke again, in a surprisingly steady tone.

“Hongbin, please sit up.”

Hongbin tensed even further, but Taekwoon could tell he was trying to comply.

“I’m not planning to hurt you, Hongbin, nor to throw you out or return you to the shelter or anything like that. I just want to talk with you for a moment.”

Hongbin whimpered, but eventually pushed himself up into a half sitting, half kneeling position, his face still turned downwards. Taekwoon remained where he was, unable to see much of Hongbin’s face like this, but what he saw was enough to tell him Hongbin was in bad shape, and it made his heart hurt for the boy. His voice softened considerably, even against his will when he spoke up again next as he went and sat down on the couch.

“Hongbin… why did you bite me?”

The boy flinched violently, bowing his head even further and almost going back into his curled-up position. Choking, he muttered something unintelligible, repeatedly, until Taekwoon was able to understand him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Taekwoon sighed.

“I believe you when you say that, but I want to know why you did it.”

The boy tensed underneath his shaking, his breathing coming in short puffs only interrupted by hick-ups that did nothing to improve his situation. He didn’t answer.

“Did I hurt you somehow?” Taekwoon eventually probed. A light shake of his head was the only answer Hongbin gave, and Taekwoon nodded slowly in acknowledgement.

“I’ve talked to a few friends today, and they told me you might… Did you do it because you’d been purring?”

A choked noise of distress and horror made it past Hongbin’s throat, and he looked as if he might throw up as his hands curled to fists in the fluffy carpet he was kneeling on.

Taekwoon took a sharp breath, exhaling it slowly as what he’d dreaded began to be confirmed in front of him, more vividly than Minhyuk’s explanation could have ever managed to portray it.

“It was, right? It’s ok to do that here, though, Hongbin… It’s a part of you just like breathing and sleeping are. I’d never punish you for it… or use it against you. In any way. Under my watch, no harm will ever be done to you for something as innocent as purring.”

Hongbin didn’t look like he believed him, though his shaking subsided slowly, and Taekwoon continued, hoping his previous words would eventually help Hongbin understand he wasn’t at risk of being mistreated. Still there was something else he needed Hongbin to understand.

“After what I’ve learned today, I think I might understand why that led you to biting me. But, that doesn’t mean I’m happy about being bitten. I’m not going to do you any harm, and I expect the same curtesy from you; so, don’t do that again.”

The hybrid released a shaky breath, swallowing heavily before his voice was heard again, barely above a whisper.

“I’m sorry… I won’t… I’m so sorry…”

Taekwoon sighed, sitting back a little, slightly more relaxed than before.

“It’s ok now, Hongbin… I forgive you.”

It didn’t look as if Hongbin completely believed him, but at least he peeked up a little, relaxing his fists just slightly, before tensing again when Taekwoon picked up talking again.

“There are a few other things we should talk about, too, though. The way things are now, is far from ideal… In order to fix that, I’ve decided that from now on, I’m going to start working from home most of the time.”

Hongbin didn’t react visibly to the news, not even a nod, and Taekwoon continued.

“Even though that means I’ll be home more, that doesn’t mean I’ll have much more free time than now. There is still twice as much work to do here with you living here, too, so I’ve come to the conclusion that we should split up some chores, so that you’ll be doing some of them, too.”

That brought a reaction out of Hongbin, though it was just the tensing of his shoulders.

“I’m not going to ask you to do all the yourself, Hongbin, but to lend a hand here and there so I don’t have to do everything alone. It seems only fair to me.”

Hongbin swallowed hard again, bowing his head deeper once again before he nodded lightly.

Taekwoon hummed, satisfied with Hongbin’s acceptance.

“There will be some changes around the apartment, too. For one, since you’re living in what used to be my guest room now, we’ll be furnishing the empty room across from yours to make that our new guest room. That means we’ll move the bed that’s now in your room over, and you’re getting a new bed. The old one is good enough as guest-bed, but not to sleep on permanently.”

As expected, that brought a bigger reaction out of Hongbin, the boy shaking his head as he started to rock slightly back and forth.

“N-no… I don’t… Don’t need one. Don’t… I’ll just… I’ll sleep on the floor. No bed. No… no bed…”

Taekwoon sighed.

“Hongbin, you should have a bed, even if you don’t use it now. I’m not going to just not have a bed for you in your room.”

Hongbin bowed his head low.

“But… Beds are expensive… I don’t… Can’t… It’s not necessary.”

Shaking his head, Taekwoon ran a hand through his hair as he took a deep breath.

“That is not something I’m going to give in about. You’ll get a new bed, one that is an appropriate size for you. If you sleep in it or not is still up to you, but you’ll at least have the option.”

“I won’t use it!” Hongbin’s words came with a vehemence and determination Taekwoon hadn’t heard from the boy before, startling him somewhat. As soon as Hongbin realized he’d raised his voice, he shrunk in on himself, too, but his gaze stayed defiant, even though he didn’t look at Taekwoon directly.

Taking a quiet, steadying breath, Taekwoon confronted Hongbin about it.

“Why are you so adamant you won’t use the bed, Hongbin?”

Tensing again, Hongbin lowered his head once more and curled in on himself, not answering, even after a while in which Taekwoon only waited.

“In fact, why don’t you use any of the furniture? You don’t, do you?”

The boy was quick to shake his head, and Taekwoon could see fear in his expression.

“I don’t! I didn’t…! I-… I’d never, I didn’t touch it!”

Taekwoon was taken aback by the reaction, not having meant his question as accusation, though Hongbin had obviously understood it as such.

“I’m not saying you did, Hongbin. I was asking why you don’t use it.”

Hongbin took a few deep breaths, sitting up more again, though not without wrapping his arms around himself protectively before he shook his head in lieu of an answer. Taekwoon sighed quietly.

“Have you been punished before for using the furniture? Is that it?”

The grip Hongbin had on himself tightened, and his eyes flitted around nervously, as far as his position with his head bowed allowed it.

“I don’t… It’s not… It’s better. Better to stay… on the floor.” He began to quietly rock back and forth, and Taekwoon frowned deeply.

“Who told you… Why? Why would that be better?” He half exclaimed, indignant.

Hongbin took a deep shaky breath, closing his eyes as his rocking intensified.

“My place is on the floor. I’m not… not worth using the furniture. My place… is on the floor.” His voice sounded automated, as if he was reciting something that he’d said too many times, though it broke in the end, barely coming out as a whisper as a tear escaped his closed eyes.

It was too painful for Taekwoon, seeing Hongbin like that all of a sudden, and he felt a deep need to scream and find the one who’d made Hongbin believe that and seriously hurt them. As Taekwoon only sat there, though, trying to cope with the sudden pain assaulting him, Hongbin’s condition worsened and he bent forward again, bowing deeply as he kneeled.

“Please don’t… I’ll stay on the floor, I won’t… Won’t use anything! Please… please don’t hurt me!”

That snapped Taekwoon out of it, and he got up from the couch, crouching down close to Hongbin on the floor instead quickly.

“Hongbin, I won’t hurt you. Hey, it’s ok! No one is going to hurt you. You’re safe here, Hongbin. Hey, please, sit up and look at me.”

Hongbin complied hastily, but the reluctance was almost tangible as he still avoided looking at Taekwoon directly while trying to even out his breathing. Hick-ups complicated the task, and he wrapped his arms around himself again, willing them to stop. All in all, the hybrid looked close to being sick, and Taekwoon felt himself growing more helpless by the minute.

“You won’t be punished for using anything in this house, Hongbin. Everything here is as much yours as it is mine, and you can use everything freely. There is nothing you’ll get hurt for just for using.”

Hongbin calmed down slowly, and Taekwoon sighed in relief.

“You also won’t ever be punished or hurt for anything that makes you who you are, I promise. You don’t have to hide everything that makes you different from a human from me. I know your ears are different than mine and you have a tail, and that’s ok and won’t get you in trouble if you show them. Nor will purring, sleeping wherever you want to, spacing out, chasing things I can’t see, or any other things that are natural for you but might not be for me, simply because we are different. It’s ok to be who you are, Hongbin.”

Hongbin’s gaze wavered, uncertain, and Taekwoon sighed again, averting his own gaze to his hands in his lap.

“Should you ever do something that I’m not ok with, I will just tell you. I won’t just go and punish you for it. And in turn, I would appreciate it if you told me when I’m doing something that you are not ok with, so I know what to avoid, too. I don’t want you to live in constant fear of me. I want us both to learn to live comfortably with each other.”

Hongbin averted his gaze completely as well, but when Taekwoon looked up, he could tell he wasn’t as tense anymore. Sitting back completely, Taekwoon cleared his throat quietly, deciding to change the topic.

“You haven’t eaten yet today, have you?”

Hongbin didn’t answer immediately, but then shook his head no.

“I thought so... You shouldn’t neglect yourself like that. There’s still a tray with food for you in the kitchen. Go, eat something.”

In front of him, Hongbin shifted nervously where he sat, scooting a little further away from Taekwoon before he cleared his throat gently.

“C-can I?”

“Of course. If it’s not enough and you’re still hungry, I’ll make you more. Don’t worry. Just eat, as much as you want to.”

Hesitantly, and never leaving Taekwoon out of his sight, Hongbin eventually got up slowly, his legs still shaking. When Taekwoon didn’t make a move to get up as well, he slowly started inching towards the kitchen, gauging every one of Taekwoon’s moves as he did, before he could slip into the adjacent room.

While Hongbin was gone, and Taekwoon could hear the faintest telltale noises that indicated he’d found the tray and his food, he eventually got up to sit on the couch again. He wasn’t satisfied with how his conversation with Hongbin had gone, but he guessed it could have been worse. At least the hybrid seemed calmer now, and was eating, too, even if he was sure the situation wasn’t completely resolved just yet.

As he waited for Hongbin to finish eating, he eventually decided to pick up his laptop and start looking for a new bed for the hybrid, making sure to only choose the best he could find, as well as appropriate accessories. He got so absorbed in his task that he almost missed Hongbin returning from the kitchen.

“Ah, there you are. Uh, was there enough food? Are you hungry still?”

Hongbin stopped in his tracks, shaking his head as he averted his gaze to the floor.

“Ok. I’ve been looking here… I’ve ordered your new bed. It’ll be delivered tomorrow, they say, and it’s simple enough to put up so we won’t need professionals to help.”

He might as well have told the wall, Taekwoon thought, since Hongbin very obviously pretended he hadn’t heard him. He sighed quietly, logging out of the store and shutting his laptop before putting it away.

In that time, Hongbin had managed to recompose himself, waiting for Taekwoon not to be distracted so he would be able to pick up his quiet voice without him having to repeat himself.

“What… what chores do you want m-me to do?”

Taekwoon shook his head minutely.

“What? What chores…? Oh! Uhm… Have you rinsed your dishes and put them in the dishwasher?”

Hongbin nodded quietly in response, and Taekwoon smiled, satisfied.

“Well, then, that’s it for now. I’ll let you know if something else you can do comes up.”

Hongbin didn’t look satisfied with his answer for some reason, but he didn’t protest. After a little while of silence, he did speak up again, though.

“May I… May I go back… to the room?”

Taekwoon’s expression softened into a small, warm smile.

“Of course, Hongbin. Just make sure you don’t go as long without eating anything again and come out for dinner, ok?”

Hongbin nodded quietly, and left quickly. Taekwoon stayed where he was, looking after him and the place where he’d disappeared through the door pensively for quite a while, even after Hongbin had long vanished out of sight. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how taxing this confrontation must have been on the boy, and understood his need for solitude to sort his thoughts well.

*#*#*#*

The door to his room fell shut behind him with the softest click, and he closed his eyes, exhaling a deep, shaky breath. He didn’t manage more than two steps in the general direction of the corner where he kept his blanket before his legs gave in on him, though, and he sank to the floor, barely managing to keep himself from collapsing altogether as he held himself up by his arms.

His closed eyes did nothing to hold back the hot tears that welled up in him, spilling free and falling to the floor in front of him while sobs he had trouble keeping quiet racked his body.

He couldn’t believe he wasn’t dead yet. He’d been so sure it would have been the end for him, after biting the man. He was more relieved about that than he’d thought he would be, considering the threat of what else the man could do to him now that he had shown him he could purr…

The man had even addressed it, but strangely enough, he had promised that that, too, wouldn’t get him in trouble. He gasped quietly, fear rushing through him, but there was nothing he could do but hope the man wouldn’t break that promise.

And yet… maybe he deserved it if the man did, after how badly he’d hurt him… If the amount of blood that had rushed into his mouth as he’d bitten him was anything to go by, the man must be seriously hurt from his bite. And that after all the man had done for him… All the kindness the man had shown him so far, and that was how he repaid it…

Yes, he would deserve it if the man broke his promise and-…

He heaved at the thought, starting to shake again as memories assaulted him and he tried to desperately think of something else so they wouldn’t get the better of him.

It wasn’t easy, though, but ironically, it was the result of what had happened when he’d lost the struggle against his memories the day before that kept him from slipping into the toxic spiral again.

The stench in his room was simply too much to think about anything for too long… He should have cleaned up after he’d puked over and over while losing against the waking nightmares that made it impossible to tell the difference between reality and memory the day before and throughout the night, but he hadn’t dared.

He didn’t know what to use to clean up, where to find it, and if he was allowed to use it without permission.

His heart almost stopped when he suddenly realized he couldn’t exactly hide the mess, either. The man would come in to get the bed out and put up the new one the next day, and he would definitely find out about it then. Finding the room like that would probably make him more mad than if he used some tools without permission to clean it…

He whimpered, not knowing what to do. Whatever he did, it could get him in trouble; there was no way out.

His arms gave in under him as well and he curled up on himself. Everything was just too much. Why did the man have to insist on getting him a new bed, too? He didn’t want one. He just wanted all the beds gone.

If he really had to have one, why couldn’t he at least keep the one that he’d at least gotten used to the presence of? At least this one didn’t look anything like the ones-… He didn’t finish that thought, biting his own forearm to distract himself from that thought. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of bed the man had gotten for him now, and it made him anxious.

That, and the lingering doubt that he couldn’t shake off about what kind of chores the man would ask of him. The last time he’d had ‘chores’, he’d-…

Again, he bit his arm, fighting to keep the images at bay while his stomach revolted.

It was too much. It was all too much.

His breathing became erratic again, and he was sure he would lose the contents of his stomach again. At least last night his stomach had eventually been so empty there was nothing left to come out, but now… He couldn’t, though, couldn’t make even more of a mess, couldn’t risk it!

A distressed whimper that had once wanted to become a cry escaped him as he couldn’t possibly curl up any further in hopes of becoming small enough for all the evil in the world not to be able to find him again.

All it did was make his breathing harder, and he started feeling like he was suffocating. He uncurled eventually, but deep breaths were impossible anyway due to the stench; they made him gag.

It was a vicious cycle, one he didn’t know how to get out of, and the panic in him rose. He didn’t know what to do, his breathing ragged, stomach revolting, mind spinning.

All he knew was that he needed to get away from it all. He needed to get out, needed to leave it all behind. He wanted to run, find help somewhere, though he didn’t know where.

Before he knew it, he’d clambered to his feet with the last reserves of strength he had, even though he had no idea where he’d had them. He didn’t know where he was going as he opened his door, stumbling blindly into the hallway and forward, his mind too busy and yet too blank to understand his own actions.

It felt like eons, the time it took him from his room down the hallway, and he didn’t know why his feet chose to bring him to that one place, of all of them. Suddenly, he found himself stumbling into the living room again, his legs once again giving out as he realized where he was, and that the man was right there in front of him, and it was all too late.

He fell to the floor with a sob, his breathing erratic, hyperventilating, while his eyes unfocused and his body shook with what could almost be described as seizures at this point. An undefined noise escaped him before he gave up, a tiny flicker of hope in the back of his mind remaining the only thing he could focus on, telling him the man could help him somehow, as little sense as that made.

“Hongbin!” He barely heard his name being called through the buzz in his ears, and he tried in vain to blink his eyes open. He couldn’t be sure if it were hands on his body that held him tightly and pushed him onto his back, but he couldn’t focus on it.

Faintly, very distant, he thought he could hear the man’s voice, but none of what he said was intelligible to him. His body was too busy trying to oxygenate him, though it felt as if his chest was being crushed, making it impossible to breathe. Consciousness slowly slipped away from him time and time again, coming back shortly just to leave him in the dark again.

He didn’t know how long it took, if a few minutes or a couple of days, until his lungs were finally able to expand again, taking a deep, shuddering breath that washed through him like a reviving wave. His head cleared and the buzz in his ears dimmed with every deep breath he took, and eventually his senses returned to him, little by little.

He could feel himself being shifted, from a somewhat upright sitting position to lay back down, though he was sure he wasn’t responsible for that himself, his muscles limp and allowing the movement without interfering.

“Please be alright, please, please… Wake up, Hongbin… Come on…”

Internally, he frowned. He recognized the voice of the man without a doubt, though the concern in it was stronger than he’d ever heard from anyone before; and he wanted it gone.

With all his might, he tried blinking his eyes open, tried to comply to the man’s request of waking up. It took him a moment, but eventually his lids parted. Quickly, he closed his eyes again as the light in the room blinded him, and he could hear the man gasp.

“Hongbin? Are you awake?”

Instead of opening his eyes again, he scrunched them shut even tighter, but he nodded. It was surprisingly easy, and he felt for the rest of his body, trying to turn onto his side and away from the light as he felt his muscles would comply, but he was interrupted by a firm hand on his shoulder, holding him down.

“Whoa, whoa, easy, Hongbin! Stay here, and don’t move for now! You were just passed out, don’t strain yourself just yet!”

He frowned, but he stayed where he was, not trying to move again even after he felt the man’s hand leave his shoulder and he could hear him get up. It sounded as if he’d gone to the windows, drawing the curtains closed and dimming the light in the room before he returned to his side again.

“Try opening your eyes now, if you want. It’s darker now.” The man informed him gently, and he tried it. It was still bright at first, but after blinking a couple of times, his eyes had gotten used to the little light in the room and he could make out the man sitting next to him, eyeing him worriedly.

“Are you feeling better now? You really scared me there…”

He cast his eyes down again, wanting to turn around and away from the man’s worried gaze, but didn’t dare move again.

“I’m sorry… I’m ok…”

The man shook his head lightly.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s alright… I’m just glad you’re conscious and breathing again…”

He frowned.

“I… wasn’t breathing?”

The man shook his head.

“Well… You were hyperventilating, and then passed out and stopped breathing for a while. I… I’m sorry if I hurt you while trying to get you to breathe again.”

Still frowning, he took stock of his body, but it felt fine. Heavy, but fine.

“I’m ok…”

The man breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m so glad… I was scared I was going to lose you…”

He shivered slightly, the thought of having stopped breathing chilling him. It sounded like he’d come close to dying, and that was a terribly sobering thought. He didn’t want to die. No matter what life held for him, he really didn’t want to die, after all.

Another shiver went through his body, and he tried to get up again, but once again the man was there to stop him.

“Don’t. Don’t move just yet, you’re going to overdo it. Just rest for a little bit longer ok?”

The man got up again, moving to the couch out of his view, but he returned shortly after with a small pillow and a blanket.

“Here, let me help you…”

He didn’t protest when the man lifted his head and pushed the pillow underneath it. It felt wonderful to have his head resting softly, and shortly after, the blanket was covering him as well, enveloping him in a soothing warmth. It made him drowsy, but in a good way.

“Try to get some sleep, if you can. I’ll be close if you need something, so don’t overdo it and just call me, ok?”

It sounded too good to be true, but he found himself nodding as his eyes slipped closed.

He heard the man get up and take a couple steps away as sleep began to claim him fast, his head blissfully empty. He knew there were things he should worry about, but he didn’t find the strength to do so, and so he pushed them away, out of his mind.

They could wait, and he was sure now, for some reason, that the man wouldn’t get mad at him for putting his worries off for the time being.

The man, who’d saved him yet again.

The man… who wasn’t just an ordinary man like so many others out there that hurt him at every turn and corner, for every breath he took; who wanted him to breathe instead, without hurting him for it.

This man was different.

This man was…

“Taekwoon…” He didn’t know he’d whispered the name instead of just thinking it as he remembered his name, and he didn’t notice the man staring at him with his jaw dropped in surprise and wonder as he fell asleep.

---------------------

A/N: Hi, surprise, a chapter on a Thursday!! Thought I would take a month again after failing to update on my regular shedule yesterday, hm? Yeah, me too. But surprisingly, I had time to write today and finish this chapter. The conflict was killing me, but from now on the story should behave like I planned it again :) Hope you'll enjoy it, even if I might hurt you folks a little sometimes.

Also, I want to take a moment to thank everyone who's taken the time to make me feel appreciated and supported after my soppy sad A/N last chapter. Thank you all a lot <3 This chapter being not half a month late but just one day is all thanks to the two kind souls who decided to buy me some coffees, thus showing that writing is NOT a waste of time and making it possible for me to steal some more time to write during the past two weeks instead of being roped into endless hours spent making hay and ploughing fields. Again, thank you so much! If you feel like I or at least my writing deserves it and you can afford it, you can leave me a coffee tip here. It would make my entire summer, literally, since I'm going to loose my two most lucrative jobs until August  starting next week, and I'd love you forever. <3